


the secrets that we keep

by australian_heda



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: AU, Action, Also its going to have a sequel, Angst, But like with more action n sex, Clexa, Drama, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Lexa Lives, Modern - AU, NO ONE FUCKING DIES, Princess AU, Smut, Think Princess Diaries
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-06-04 20:19:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 85,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6674128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/australian_heda/pseuds/australian_heda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke is an aspiring artist and Lexa is the next door neighbor with a life altering secret.</p><p>or</p><p>Lexa is a secret princess and Clarke has a huge crush on her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Fic! It's going to be a fluffy, angsty, smutty ride y'all. Enjoy x

**Clarke**

“Yes Raven, I remembered to pick up the tampons. No, I did not get the ones with an applicator,” Clarke exasperated through the phone.

Moving in with Raven was going to be no easy feat, but with her old roommate Octavia _finally_ shacking up with Lincoln, Clarke really had no other choice.

Not that she didn’t adore Raven.

Because she did.

She just didn’t really adore Rae’s crazy period demands and rants.

“I’m on my way, can you come down and help?”

Raven’s reply was a harsh, _“Yes Clarke just get your blonde ass over here already.”_

Hanging up the phone, Clarke hastily loaded in the last two boxes left to transport to her new home. They were heavy ones – one was full of paints and one was jam packed with pre-med books. Just looking at the pre-med books made Clarke want to cringe. Shame and guilt filled her mind as she remembered the look on her mother’s face when Clarke told her she was going to be an artist, not a surgeon.

_“But Mom, this is my life,” Clarke pleaded to her mother._

_Abby stood there unflinching, not even attempting to hide her disappointment. Her gaze shifted from Clarke to the photo frame next to her. Clarke looked to her right, and into the deep blue of her father’s eyes._

_“Dad always wanted me to make my own path. This is me doing that.”_

_“I really doubt your father would be approving this career move whole heartedly Clarke,” her mother scowled._

Shaking off the memory, Clarke slid into her red hatchback and began the short ten minute journey across TonDC to Raven’s – her apartment.

Clarke had never loved a city liked she loved TonDC. It was populated enough to always be buzzing with energy, but not enough to be overcrowded. On top of that, the city was five minutes’ drive from the beach and always had a lingering smell of salt water. Perfect for an aspiring artist.

Turning the corner into the apartment complex, Clarke expected to find a familiar tall, dark haired girl waiting for her in the carpark underneath the apartment building, but as per usual Raven was late.

Clarke slumped back in her seat, surely Raven wouldn’t be too much longer.

_TAP TAP TAP_

Nearly jumping out of her car, Clarke turned her head to find a complete stranger knocking on her window.

Rolling the window down the stranger asked, “Do you need some help?”

Looking at the girl, Clarke couldn’t stop herself from staring. She looked _regal._ Soft emerald green eyes and long, braided curly brown hair. _Who was this girl?_ Clarke asked herself.

Realising she had been staring for far too long, Clarke caught herself and rambled, “Sorry, I’m just moving in and my roommate is late to open the gate and I don’t have a key and I only have two boxes left.”

The girl lowered her head slightly and rose her eyebrows, and Clarke realised that she hadn’t actually answered her question.

Almost smacking herself in the face, Clarke promptly replied, “Some help would be great thanks.”

“No matter,” answered the girl. With a nod of her head the stranger slid her key into the electronic scanner and the gate opened for Clarke.

Driving through into the carpark, Clarke wanted to die of humiliation. It was always with girls that Clarke got ramble-y and embarrassing. Guys were no big deal to her, dates with them were always easy and simple. But with girls, Clarke always found a way to mess it up.

Propping up her boot, Clarke stacked the boxes on top of one another and tried to reach up to shut it again.

“Did you need some more assistance?” came the same soft voice from before. Clarke chuckled loudly trying to make the situation less embarrassing and more lighthearted.

“I swear this is the last time,” Clarke replied, handing a box to the girl. “I’m Clarke by the way. Clarke Griffin.”

“My name is Lexa. Nice to meet you, Clarke,” Lexa replied formally, taking the box and shutting Clarke’s boot for her.

Smiling Clarke motioned for them to move towards the elevator. As they stepped in Clarke felt all hot and clammy, and she was just waiting for herself to do something totally embarrassing in front of this girl who could be a runway model.

Clarke moved her hand so that she could press _20_ and then asked shyly, “What number?”

“Same as you,” Lexa answered bluntly, staring up at the ceiling.

The silence between them was deafening, though not entirely awkward. The elevator didn’t stop and Clarke took the time to try and ease the discomfort.

“So have you lived here long?”

“About a year,” came the short reply.

Clarke clicked her tongue and fiddled around with the box. She had gotten the one with the books, so was feeling the weight on her arms like no tomorrow.

When the elevator finally reached level _20_ Clarke felt herself release a heavy breath. She was also shocked to see Raven just coming out of the apartment.

“You’re a little late,” Clarke called, getting Raven’s attention.

Raven turned around and said, “Hey now, I was only a few minutes late,” before turning to Lexa and saying, “Hi _41_.”

Lexa nodded her head curtly, and Clarke gestured for Raven to take Clarke’s box out of Lexa’s hands so the clearly uncomfortable girl could leave.

“Here I’ll take that,” Raven said catching on.

As Raven took the box, Clarke turned to Lexa and said with a big smile, “Thanks for all your help.”

Again Lexa nodded her head and then walked to her own apartment, which was conveniently just across the hall from Raven’s.

“So she’s a nodder huh,” Clarke remarked when her and Raven walked through the door.

“I don’t think she’s ever said more than three words to me, actually.”

*

Three hours and five beers later, Raven and Clarke finally collapsed on the couch. All of Clarke’s belongings were unpacked and she was actually starting to feel at home here. Though she still felt the loss of Octavia’s presence.

They had been roommates for three years, but for the last year Lincoln was basically living at their apartment anyways and it was getting too crowded for Clarke’s liking. So after a nudge and a half from Clarke, Octavia finally asked Lincoln to move in.

“I’m fucking exhausted, Griffin. Who knew you had so much _shit_?” Raven remarked slyly.

Rolling her eyes, Clarke playfully punched Raven on the shoulder.

“Whatever. I could always move out and live on the streets. Be the definition of a street painter,” Clarke shrugged sarcastically.

“Shut up, you know I love the fact you’ve moved in,” Raven relented before adding, “Although I do need to introduce you to someone.”

Clarke raised her eyebrows and Raven continued, “It’s just a girl I’ve been seeing. Nothing too serious yet.”

“Bring her round then, roomie. Need to meet the girl behind the screams I’m going to block out with my earphones,” Clarke grinned.

Raven shot back almost immediately, “Damn right.”

A comfortable silence fell between the girls as the television blasted in the background. Clarke tried to focus on what was going on, but before long her curiosity got the best of her.

“So what’s the deal with Lexa?” she asked shyly.

“Lexa?” Raven questioned before realising, “Oh you mean _41_. Um, honestly I’ve never really spoken to her. She’s real quiet and keeps to herself, never comes to any of Bell’s apartment parties or anything.”

Clarke’s shoulders slumped, she wanted to know more. This girl intrigued her, and Clarke had instantly been attracted to her.

“Just go over and say thanks. Engage in conversation. Bang her. Ask her out on a date,” Raven said non-chalantly.

Clarke almost spat out her beer, “Did you just say _bang her_?”

“What’s the harm in trying?” Raven asked.

Throwing a pillow at the girl, Clarke was only slightly offended. Putting down her beer on the coffee table, Clarke rose up and strode over to the door.

“What are you doing?”

“Going over to say thanks,” Clarke replied with a wink.

*

**Lexa**

 Shutting the door behind her, Lexa all but sprinted into her bedroom.

 _Too many questions_ , she thought. Her anxiety was off the charts, the new girl in her apartment block had been way too inquisitive for Lexa. And the fact that she moved into an apartment on her level? Couldn’t be a coincidence.

Shifting the painting to the side and entering the passcode on the safe behind it, Lexa snatched the pre-paid flip phone and hurriedly slammed in Gustus’ number.

He answered on the second ring with a disgruntled, “What’s happened?”

“There is a new girl that just moved in, she asked questions. Her name is Clarke Griffin,” Lexa explained. She knew in the back of her mind that she was probably overreacting. But Lexa had to be sure. She needed to always be sure her tracks were not being followed.

It was a miracle that she’d managed to live in the same city, in the same apartment block for such a long time. Lexa had been almost certain that she would’ve been picked up in a black SUV and dragged back to where she came from, within the first few weeks of living here.

“I just ran her through. Nothing came up, she’s just a local artist,” Gustus concluded. “Stop worrying so much Alexandria. You know we wouldn’t let anyone take you.”

 “I know, thank you Gustus. Do you not still think we should inform Indra?” Lexa asked. Gustus’ findings slowed Lexa’s heart, but her worries did not entirely disappear. She had too much to lose if she was caught.

“Unnecessary. You know what Indra would tell you to do.” Lexa rolled her eyes at this. Indra would instruct her to move from the city and change her name. _Again._

Taking a deep breath, Lexa finally responded, “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. This is what I’m here for,” replied Gustus’ strong, protective voice.

Lexa smiled and said goodbye to the man, before locking up the safe again. Laying on her back, Lexa spread out across her back. Now that she wasn’t stressing over potential hitwomen living next door, she finally felt the full effect of her workout today.

Lincoln had pushed her further than normal, but Lexa knew it was only because his now live-in girlfriend Octavia was standing nearby watching. And it wasn’t like Lexa didn’t like how far her body went.

She revelled in the sweat and exhaustion and pain that went in. She was glad she had something to _do._

Lexa couldn’t exactly go and work in a coffee shop or apply to colleges. Going to gym and the library were her only allowances.  

 _It isn’t safe, princess,_ Indra had argued when Lexa wanted to volunteer at the homeless shelter. _I know you want to be out in the world doing something, but I swore an oath to protect you at all costs._

Often Lexa resented Indra for never allowing her to have some freedom. But it was childish and uncalled for, and if she ever wanted to go home, she knew she needed to follow Indra’s rules.

Rolling onto her side, Lexa thought back to the girl she met today. She almost smiled at her reaction to her.

 _A hitwoman?_ _Nice Lexa,_ she thought.

She was far too beautiful to be violent. With striking blue eyes and soft blonde curls, Lexa couldn’t help but be slightly fascinated with her. Now that Lexa was sixty percent sure she wasn’t a threat, she didn’t feel bad about thinking about the girl.

Clarke was very strange, Lexa concluded. Strange but fascinating. And Lexa wanted to know more.

Lying on the bed, Lexa let her eyes droop and her mind falling asleep to thoughts of Clarke.

*

She woke three hours later feeling more gloomy than alert. Annoyed by the tiredness she still felt and the fact that she was still aching to learn more about Clarke, Lexa pulled out her normal phone.

Lexa was just about to dial Anya’s number when a soft knock at the door made her jump. Lexa was confused - she hadn’t ordered any food, and no packages were set to arrive. Who else would be visiting her without so much as a call?

Slowly walking over to the door, Lexa grabbed the handgun out of her draw and peeked through the peephole.

She couldn’t see much just a lot of blonde hair. _Clarke._ Quickly shoving the gun back into the draw, Lexa opened the door cautiously.

“Uh, hi!” Clarke beamed at her.

Lexa raised her eyebrows and replied confusedly, “Clarke. What are you doing here?”

Clarke fidgeted idly with the hem of her shirt while still looking up at Lexa, and said, “Well I just wanted to come over and say thanks for all the help today, and sorry for being such an awkward mess.”

Lexa nodded – Clarke had been an awkward mess.

A _cute_ awkward mess.

“It’s quite alright. Anytime,” Lexa said still holding the door so it was slightly closed.

Clarke smiled a big white pearly smile at her and Lexa’s heart missed a beat. This girl was going to kill her.

Well not literally because as Lexa now knew, Clarke was no hitwoman. But figuratively because she was so damn beautiful and there was nothing Lexa could do about it.

“Is that all?” Lexa asked.

“I guess. I mean, yes. That’s all,” Clarke rambled in reply.

The silence was awkward and uncomfortable, but Lexa couldn’t find the nerve to invite her inside. Her apartment was so boring and static, just like her fake life here in TonDc. Bland and plain. Nothing like the life she had back home.

“See you around, Clarke,” Lexa said in goodbye. Clarke nodded before Lexa shut the door. She felt pretty shitty about being rude, but they couldn’t be _friends_. Or anything else for the matter. Lexa had far too much to lose. She couldn’t add another person to that list.

*

**Clarke**

Clarke stood at Lexa’s closed door feeling dejected. Lexa hadn’t been rude, _necessarily._ Just kind of blasé.

Walking back inside her apartment she got hollers from Raven saying, “How’d it go, Clarkey? Are you gonna bang her, you play-er?”

Slumping down on the lounge, Clarke felt embarrassed yet again because of this girl. Turning over to face Raven she said, “Probably not. I don’t think she likes me.”

Raven raised her eyebrows, “Oh no. What happened?”

Clarke recounted the story, feeling even crappier after she finished. What was _wrong_ with her? Why couldn’t she just act normal around pretty girls?

“Calm down, Princess. She’s just not used to people going out of their way to speak to her. You’ll have plenty more chances to impress her,” Raven said comfortingly.

Clarke just shrugged, “I’m gonna go call O, see how her and Linc are holding up at the apartment.”

*

It had been a week since Clarke spoke to Lexa. And a week since she’d officially moved into the apartment.

Raven had, surprisingly, been great to live with. There was still the crazy outburst or two, but mostly it had been incredibly smooth sailing.

Thoughts of her strange neighbour still nagged in Clarke’s brain, but not even catching a glimpse of the girl all week made Clarke wonder if she ever left her apartment.

She’d managed to push all thoughts of the strange girl out of her mind tonight though, as her and Raven had their weekly pizza and beer night. They were just watching re-runs of some _Dance Moms_ when Raven’s phone buzzed.

Turning down the volume, Raven answered, “Hey O, this better be good _Dance Moms_ is dram-atic tonight!”

Clarke heard some mumbling on the phone before Raven pressed the speaker button and said, “Alright you’re on speaker, Clarke can hear you.”

“LINCOLN JUST PROPOSED!” screamed a tiny voice through the phone. Clarke spat out the beer that was in her mouth and Raven shrieked before throwing her hands up.

“I knew it, I knew it, I knew it,” Raven shouted.

Clarke was beaming and said happily, “I’m so happy for you, O!”

*

**Lexa**

“I just proposed to Octavia,” Lincoln said gloomily through the phone.

Lexa’s heartrate picked up and she replied sadly, “And she said no?”

Lincoln was silent for a moment being shouting excitedly, “She said yes!”

She felt like punching the boy through the phone. Lexa was so excited for him. He’d been planning on asking her for about four months now, but Lexa, Anya and him had only gone ring shopping a month ago.

Lexa had been waiting for this call.

“Are you going to come?” Lincoln asked hopefully. “I know it’s risky, and Indra definitely won’t like it. But it’s going to be a small wedding, family and close friends only.”

Lexa breathed in heavily, she knew this was going to be a problem, but she had to try. Her being there clearly meant a lot to him.

“I’ll have to talk it over with her, but I’m confident she’ll allow it,” Lexa finally replied.

“I can’t do this without my two favourite cousins,” he said. “The engagement party is next Saturday, bring snacks!”

Lincoln hung up the phone, not even giving Lexa the chance to protest. Part of her was glad, at least now she could tell Indra that she _had_ to go to the party. She was in charge of snacks.

Turning back to Anya, Lexa took a large sip of her wine.

“I’m so happy for Lincoln,” Lexa remarked. She waited for Anya’s shared response, but the girl was glued to the screen of her iPad. “Ahn?”

“Lex, look at this,” Anya finally replied, practically shoving the device in Lexa’s face. Staring at the screen, Lexa’s stomach dropped as she read the headlining story.

**_The Polaris Times: Nia Trigeda to become Queen!_ **

Reading further, Lexa’s blood boiled and she threw her wine glass against the wall.

_With Princess Alexandria’s disappearance, Throne Regent Nia has been overseeing Polaris’ wellbeing whilst Prince Raegon grows into his new role. However, it has been confirmed from Palace sources that unless Princess Alexandria returns before her 21 st birthday, Prince Raegon will abdicate and hand the throne over to their aunt. _

Anya tried to calm Lexa down but her fists were clenched and she wanted to scream and shriek until the walls caved in.

“What are you going to do?” Anya asked.

Lexa put her head in her hands and whispered, “I don’t know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will be on Thursdays - possibly bi-weekly as I still have another fic to finish!
> 
> I apologize if there are similar fics like this out there - I am in no way trying to copy y'all or anything, I just really liked this idea and wanted to put it into words. 
> 
> Also - this story is mainly going to be from Lexa's perspective, so expect way more of her in coming chapters. 
> 
> Let me know what you think at my tumblr - trigedaslengslut - and check out my non-au fic Our Fight Has Only Just Begun! (its basically just me fixing jrat & co's mistakes :))


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is sad and Clarke buys a hot new outfit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry about the delay, but uni has been fuckin me up this week and i only just got the chance to write tonight! enjoy x

**Lexa**

Waking up to the smell of pancakes and coffee, Lexa opened her eyes and rolled onto her side lazily.

“About time you woke up. The pancakes are getting cold,” Anya greeted with a smirk. Lexa walked over to the table and began eating. Her stomach was rumbling, but with every chew and swallow, Lexa just felt sicker.

Anya was looking her up and down, suspecting that there was something wrong, “What’s up?”

Lexa raised her eyebrows and said, “Do you not remember last night at all?”

“Obviously I do Lex. But what can you do? You can’t go back to Polaris. Not until you’re twenty-one, but maybe not even then,” Anya stated.

“Maybe I can.” Anya’s jaw dropped at this but Lexa continued, “If I get Raegon out of there earlier than we thought we could, I can sneak in and take back the throne from Nia.”

“It’s not that simple,” Anya argued. “What about Nia’s spies and body guards? They’d take you down the minute they saw you. You aren’t ready yet. Indra and Gustus aren’t ready yet.”

Looking down at her food, Lexa knew Anya was right but she still needed to try. She wouldn’t allow her brother to pass over the throne to that _witch_. Even if Lexa had known all along that this was Nia’s plan.

“Don’t you remember Ida.”

Lexa looked up sharply at her sister’s name. Standing abruptly from the table Lexa glared at Anya before making her way to the door.

“Lexa, come on. I just meant be careful,” Anya pleaded as Lexa slid through the door without a word.

Making her way back to her own apartment, Lexa’s mind was now filled with thoughts of her fallen sister and her stomach only felt sicker with the memories.

_“Ida? I’m home,” Lexa called out while stepping into Ida’s room. When there was no response, she stepped through the room and into the bathroom, her eyebrows raised in confusion._

_Ida had told her to come up and see her when she got home from ballet practice, why wasn’t she here waiting?_

_That was where she saw her. Laying in the bathtub, with a bloody bullet hole gaping through her shirt. Instantly, screaming for help, Lexa bent down next to her sister and tried to pressurise the wound. Ida was barely conscious, but Lexa had to help her. Had to save her._

_They’d already lost too much that year._

_“Dria, look after Rae,” Ida whimpered. “Promise me.”_

_Lexa looked up at her sister and asked frantically, “Who did this to you? Who did this?”_

_“Promise me!” Ida said with the highest voice she could manage._

_“I promise, Ida,” Lexa choked. “Tell me who did this!”_

_Ida looked away from Lexa’s gaze before muttering, “Aunt Nia.”_

The memory hurt her, and thinking about her sister made her want to curl up into a corner and cry until her eyes were dry.

Ida was nothing like Lexa. She was gentle and kind, she was a true princess. Unlike Lexa who kicked and punched and was only ever graceful on the dancefloor.

Ida didn’t deserve to die like that. Ida didn’t deserve to die at all.

But her Aunt Nia was greedy, and she ached for the power that Lexa’s father was born with. She’d never been a particularly nice Aunt, but her insanity only began after Lexa’s parents, Orin and Alina, were killed in a car crash.

All Nia had to do was get rid of her nieces and nephew, the heirs to Polaris, and she could be Queen once and for all.

Everyone had thought that Ida’s untimely death was a terrorist attack, or a stalker. There was no evidence left behind to point directly to any particular suspect. But Lexa knew the truth.

And one day, when her brother was safe, Lexa was going to take back that damn throne for good.

*

Rounding the corner into the elevator, Lexa was watching the doors close when a hurried voice yelled out, “Wait!”

Placing her hand between the doors, a pile of blonde locks ran into the elevator and almost knocked Lexa into the back of the lift.

“Sorry – oh hi Lexa!” chimed a cheery Clarke Griffin.

“Hello, Clarke,” Lexa replied stoically.

Clarke pressed _20_ and the lift rose, after a few moments Lexa decided to initiate conversation. Not because she particularly wanted to, but because she did feel slightly guilty about the other night.

“How have you been?” she asked with a slight smile. _Not flirting, just trying not to be rude,_ Lexa convinced herself.

Clarke looked half surprised at Lexa’s question, obviously not expecting her to talk to her.

Lexa should’ve expected Clarke’s reply to lead into a long ramble, “I’ve been good, thanks! Just been painting and getting used to the apartment, you know. Nothing special or anything, although my best friend got engaged last night so that was special.”

Smiling to herself, Lexa couldn’t help but find Clarke’s incessant rambling slightly amusing.

“My cousin got engaged also last night,” Lexa replied. The lift stopped and the doors opened but Clarke continued the conversation.

“What’s their name?” Clarke asked.

Lexa stiffened a bit, before remembering Gustus’ background check. “Lincoln Woods?”

Clarke threw her hands up and beamed, “No way! That’s who my best friend is marrying!”

Nodding her head, Lexa said, “What a coincidence.”

“Will I see you at the engagement party?” Clarke asked curiously.

Answering Clarke’s question, Lexa nodded once more and said, “See you then, Clarke,” before hurrying away into her apartment.

She looked back before opening her door, only to see Clarke rushing into her own apartment with a huge smile across her face.

*

**Clarke**

“Raven!” Clarke screeched into the apartment as soon as she slammed the door behind her. She was beaming from her seemingly good conversation with Lexa. Sure, it was like half a conversation and Lexa had practically scurried off in the end, but Clarke felt like she actually _got_ somewhere today.

And, Lexa was going to Octavia and Lincoln’s engagement party. Clarke could barely contain her excitement at the prospect.

“Raven!” Clarke screamed again, running into Raven’s room and practically jumping on top of her roommate.

“Clarke? What the fuck?” Raven questioned, sitting up as much as she could.

Clarke slumped next to her and breathed out, “Apparently Lexa is Lincoln’s cousin and she’s going to the engagement party and she said ‘See you then, Clarke’ all flustered and stuff and oh my god Raven she’s so -” 

Raven put a finger to Clarke’s mouth to stop her rambling. Clarke swiftly apologised before being quiet for a few seconds to let Raven absorb everything she had said.

“So?” Clarke questioned when Raven didn’t reply. Raven sprung up out of the bed, as well as she could, and started rifling through her closet. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for something super slutty for you to wear,” Raven replied non-chalantly. Clarke let out a loud laugh at her response, before Raven exasperated, “I have _nothing_.”

“It’s okay, I have a few outfits I was thinking -” Clarke started before Raven silenced her with a loud yell.

“Shop-ping tr-ip!” Raven yelled enthusiastically.

*

Two hours later, Clarke and Raven were holed up in some dress store frantically looking for dresses. Clarke wanted something sexy, but still classy. She didn’t want to show anyone too much skin just yet. And by anyone she meant Lexa.

Raven on the other hand, was currently _seeing_ someone, so she was searching for something to impress her soon to be girlfriend with. Clarke had assumed Raven had invited the girl, because she hadn’t seen Raven so excited about a party since New Year’s Eve last year with Wick.

“How about this?” Raven asked pulling out a blue off the shoulder mini-dress. Clarke looked it up and down before smiling.

“Try it on. I think I’ve got something also,” Clarke said, reaching for a dress that had struck her fancy.

Walking over to the change rooms together, Clarke and Raven gave each other a wink before going in and trying their dresses on.

“On 3!” Clarke squealed, particularly happy with her choice.

“Fuck that,” Raven said as she exited the change room. Clarke followed suit and the girls stared at each other, assessing each other’s options.

“That’s the one, Rae,” Clarke said, approving one hundred percent of the blue dress. “If you weren’t a, my best friend and b, seeing someone, I’d be banging you right about now.”

Raven smiled a huge smile, before responding, “Yeah you look alright too, Clarke.”

Clarke went to hit her before Raven quickly backtracked and said, “It was a joke! You’re going to make Lexa wet her pants. And not in the gross way.”

Scoffing, Clarke went back into the change room and hoped this would impress the strange girl. It had been a long time since Clarke had a crush, but it felt good. Even if Lexa was a bit guarded and unresponsive.

Clarke _loved_ a challenge.

With both girls deciding to buy the dresses, and with Clarke only gulping once at the price tag, they made their way over to the counter.

“Dresses down. Accessories and shoes to go!” Raven exclaimed.

*

At about 9pm, the girls had finally purchased everything they needed and more. Clarke felt guilty about spending so much, but she’d justify it to her mom once she showed her a picture of Lexa. Abby would definitely agree that the expense was necessary.

Raven and Clarke had just turned on the television when they heard their door slam open and a tiny brunette run through it with a large Lincoln trailing behind.

“O!” Clarke yelled hugging the girl, as if she hadn’t just spoke to her the night before. “O’s fiancée,” Clarke nudged to Lincoln, who just smiled sheepishly.

“Just let yourselves in why don’t you,” Raven growled jokingly. The five of them all squished onto Raven’s lounge, with Lincoln and Octavia explaining that they wanted to come and check how Clarke has been settling in.

After assuring them she was fine, Clarke finally brought up what had been nagging at her since she’d found out this morning.

“Linc?”

“Yes, Clarke?” Lincoln replied, his eyebrows up in confusion. O snuggled closer to him, and also gave Clarke a curious glance.

“You never told us your cousin lived in this building.”

Lincoln looked a bit lost for a second there before remembering, “Oh, you mean Lexa?”

Clarke nodded and Lincoln continued, “Well she’s a very private person.”

“You never even told us you had a cousin,” Raven said. Octavia sunk deeper into the lounge, seemingly knowing more than she was letting on.

“You guys never asked?” Lincoln responded meekly. “I told you about my sister, Anya.”

Clarke felt Raven shift uncomfortably before she responded, “Don’t worry about it, Linc. I just ran into her a few times and she mentioned your engagement.”

Lincoln nodded, obviously feeling uneasy and guarded about the subject. Clarke didn’t understand why it was such a big thing, but she respected Lincoln’s obvious wishes to drop the topic.  

Her thought were interrupted by the television. Raven had turned up the sound so that they could now hear a news lady reporting on a new story that was apparently super interesting.

“After years of silence, we _finally_ have news about the so called _Lost Princess of Polaris._ ”

 _Where the fuck is Polaris?_ Clarke thought absentmindedly.

“According to various sources, Princess Alexandria the Second was picked up on facial recognition at an alcohol store in TonDC. Her exact whereabouts are unknown, but her Aunt, Regent Nia and brother, Prince Raegon have since made a statement -”

The reporter was cut off by Octavia, who had changed the channel suddenly. Raven and Clarke looked at her, both of them enamoured by the fact that a _princess_ might be roaming the streets of their city.

“What? Princess shit bores me. I’d much rather watch _Terminator_ ,” Octavia replied with a shrug, before Lincoln excused himself and walked out of the apartment.

*

**Lexa**

Lexa’s eyes were glued to her television, staring angrily at her aunt who was currently addressing the public.

“Alexandria, _please come home._ We miss you. Polaris misses you. There is no need to hide, you will be safe here, under our protection. Raegon needs his sister,” Nia said before ushering her brother out onto the press podium.

Lexa’s eyes filled with tears as she saw her baby brother on the screen. He was older, but his green eyes stayed just the same. His golden hair was unruly, just like their father’s but his jawline was set just like their mother’s.

A surge of sorrow shot through Lexa like a bullet and before he even began talking, she was a sobbing mess.

“Sister, come home to me. I have lost one and I cannot lose another. Come home and take your place by my side, on Polaris’ throne,” Raegon stated before looking pointedly to the screen as if he were speaking to Lexa herself. “Ai hod yu in, sis.”

Lexa sobbed harder when her brother used their native tongue to say _I love you sister._ She couldn’t return to him though. Not yet. Not until she was twenty-one and Nia was firmly out of the palace and out of reach from her brother.

_“I know what you did, Nia! I know you killed Ida, and I’m going to prove it. You won’t get away with this,” Lexa hissed to her aunt._

_It had been a week since Ida’s funeral, and despite only being sixteen Lexa had a fiery anger and a loud commanding voice. She was standing protectively in front of her brother, who was barely ten years old and far too young to have lost both parents and one sister in the space of a year._

_Nia moved across the throne room, shooing her guards away and stepping closer to Lexa. “I’ll tell you what’s going to happen, Alexandria.”_

_Lexa stood back, still holding her hand out in front of her whimpering brother, protecting him from their Aunt’s rage._

_“You’re going to_ disappear without a trace _. And you’re not going to come back. Not in three months, not in three years. Never,” Nia snarled menacingly._

_“I’m not -” Lexa began, before Nia cut her off and leaned in to whisper into Lexa’s ear so Raegon couldn’t hear._

_“Oh but you will. Because if you don’t… Raegon is going to have a horrible accident,” Nia said, making Lexa’s breath catch. “And then you will kill yourself out of the despair that losing your whole family has caused. It will be quite tragic, but beneficial to me.”_

_Breathing in sharply, Lexa only had one option. She’d promised Ida in her last breath to protect their brother. To protect Raegon. And Lexa wasn’t one to break a promise._

_This was the only way she could save him._

_“If- if I leave, Raegon will not be harmed? You will let him live a happy life?” Lexa asked sincerely to her aunt._

_Nia nodded and lifted her chin in victory, “If you leave and never return, Raegon will simply have to abdicate the throne to me. He will live out his days however he pleases.”_

_Looking at her tiny brother, who had stopped crying and was simply staring at his sister._

_“Don’t leave me, Dria. Don’t leave me like Nomon and Nontu,” Raegon whispered. Reaching down and holding the boy tight, Lexa felt tears spring to her eyes. “Don’t leave me like Ida left me.”_

_“I don’t want to baby. But I have to keep you safe,” Lexa stated, trying to calm the boy._

_He clung to her and said, “I won’t let you go, Dria.”_

_Lexa almost smiled at the familiar stubborn attitude that her brother had adopted from her. She couldn’t bear to leave him, not when he was so young. Not when he had already lost so much._

_“Can I take him with me?” Lexa finally asked her aunt. “Wouldn’t that be easier for you?”_

_“Out of the question, you are sixteen. I’m cruel enough to let a ten year old die from starvation in the streets,” Nia responded immediately._

_Lexa looked deep into her brother’s eyes and whispered, “You will still have Uncle Nik and Aunt Mae; you won’t be stuck here all alone with_ her _.”_

_“But I want you,” Raegon cried out._

_“Ai hod yu in, bro. Leidon,” Lexa said, as a tear escaped her eye and she placed a gentle kiss on Raegon’s forehead._

_“Pleni, give me the boy!” Lexa let go of her brother and gave him to Nia. “You have one chance Alexandria. I’m giving you one chance to fade away into nothing. But if I even get a whisper of your whereabouts I won’t hesitate to hunt you down and kill you just as I did your pathetic sister.”_

_It took everything in Lexa’s power not to punch the bitch out, just as her father had showed her. But she restrained herself, and walked to the door without another word._

_“Dria!” her brother screamed out after her. “Dria come back!”_

Lexa’s heart broke at the memory, but she was brought out of her thoughts by a knocking on the door.

“Lex? It’s Lincoln, I just saw the news.” Lexa hadn’t even thought about the fact that she had been spotted in TonDC. She was more focused on the boy she was seeing on the screen and the painful memories that accompanied seeing him.

Lexa hurried over to the door, knowing full well her face was a mess. And as soon as she opened it, she flung herself into Lincoln’s arms and sobbed uncontrollably.

It had been a long time since she had been this genuinely upset and _weak_ , but seeing her brother’s face hit her hard. He probably didn’t remember the conversation she had with Nia. He most likely believed she abandoned him.

Still standing in the doorway, Lincoln held her. Though they weren’t blood cousins, Lexa appreciated that Lincoln didn’t need to say anything because he just _knew_.

“He’s so grown up,” Lexa choked out, remembering her brother’s hardened jaw. “I wasn’t there, Lincoln. I wasn’t there for any of it.”

“You couldn’t be, Lex. You protected him,” Lincoln whispered soothingly.

Lexa put her head above Lincoln’s shoulder and shut her eyes, “I _abandoned_ him. He had _no one._ ”

Lincoln hugged her tighter at this, and Lexa tried to control her tears. She couldn’t be weak now. Not when she was about to be found and killed by her Aunt.

“Lincoln, where’d you go?” a voice came from across the hall. Immediately letting go of her cousin, Lexa tried to hurry back into her apartment.

But it was too late, Clarke had seen the tears and her face. Lexa took a step back and shot a knowing glance to Lincoln before retreating back into her apartment.

She wasn’t annoyed that Clarke interrupted her tears, she was actually kind of glad. With the tears still slightly flowing, Lexa had regained enough composure to call Indra.

Indra was her fairy god mother. An actual angel sent from above. An over-protective, crazy, sometimes harsh angel, but nevertheless an angel that Lexa was eternally grateful for.

She had made a promise to Alina, Lexa’s mother, to protect her children if she was ever unable to. Lexa had gone to Indra straight away after leaving the palace, and she had set her up almost immediately with a fake identity ‘ _Lexa Woods’_ , and sent her off to Anya and Lincoln’s parents in sunny TonDC, USA.

That was how her ‘protection squad’ worked - Indra was the hands and Gustus was the head. And together, they helped Lexa go undetected for almost five years.

“Alexandria, are you okay?” Indra’s concerned voice squeaked through the phone.

“I’m fine, what’s going on? Has she sent informants?” Lexa questioned.

Indra didn’t answer for a few moments, but eventually said, “Not that I’m aware of. But it won’t be long until she does. Your face is clear in the photo, as is the timestamp and location.”

“I know, Indra. I know. I’m so sorry,” Lexa said apologetically. She hadn’t realised the shop had put in a new fancy way of checking for minors buying drinks. Her Lexa Woods card ID said 25, but the monitor must’ve just recognised twenty year-old Alexandria Trigeda’s and alerted the system. 

“You know I didn’t ever want to make you do this, Princess,” Indra started.

“Do what?” Lexa questioned, wiping at dried tears.

“Pack your things. You’re leaving TonDC.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i bawled like a baby writing the scene between Lex and her brother. devasting. fuk u nia. 
> 
> also soz about the cliffhanger (im not really) 
> 
> tumblr: trigedasleng slut - message me for any clarifications, further insight or just to chat. im always up to discuss about how shit the flopdred is now and how blorkes make me want to vomit.


	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa gets drunk and Clarke looks after her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm enjoying writing this story soooo much, i couldn't help but update it. enjoy x

**Clarke**

It had been six days since Clarke even got a glimpse of the girl across the hall. Six days since she’d seen her crying into Lincoln’s arms. Six days since Lexa’s wet eyes met hers. Clarke had felt like she was seeing something she really wasn’t supposed to see. Like she was intruding on an incredibly private moment.

After Lexa scurried back into her apartment, Clarke had apologised profusely to Lincoln, who had just simply said Lexa was having a bad day and to not be sorry. But it didn’t make Clarke feel any better.

Often she’d wondered whether to just bite the bullet and go see Lexa, to apologise anyways. But each time she raised her fist to knock on the door, she backed out like a coward.

Clarke couldn’t avoid her tonight though – it was the night of the party and Clarke was so nervous, she didn’t even feel excited to wear her new dress. She’d gotten it for the sole purpose of impressing Lexa, but now Clarke just felt silly.

“Clarke, seriously cheer the fuck up,” Raven said when she got home from work that day. “Is that a new painting?”

Sitting in front of Clarke _was_ a new painting, but she had no idea what it was. Often when Clarke painted and her mind got away from her, her hands controlled themselves and Clarke was left with a crazy swirl of colours.

“I’m not exactly sure what I was going for. I got distracted,” Clarke said, staring at the swirl of greens on her canvas. “And I _am_ cheery.”

“Sure you are,” Raven replied. “Come on, you have to do my make-up!”

Two hours later, with their make-up and hair done and clothes on, Clarke and Raven posed for a number of selfies together.

“That’s enough, Rae!” Clarke said after what felt like the hundredth photo.

Sighing heavily, Raven said, “Ok-ay. But you have to pick one and upload it, I want the world to see me looking good!”

Clarke laughed and unlocked her phone, clicking on the Twitter app.

“Oh my god Raven,” Clarke said after seeing a notification pop up.

“What?” Raven asked peering over Clarke’s shoulder. “Ooooo, she followed you!”

**@LexWoods has just followed you!**

Clarke breathed in heavily. This damn crush was going to be the death of her. Immediately she clicked follow on Lexa’s profile, and hurriedly tried to pick a photo where she looked good in the hopes that Lexa would see it before the party.

Choosing one where Raven was kissing her cheek and she was smiling brightly into the camera, Clarke pressed upload.

**@ClarkeGriff: Ready for @OctaviaB and @LincWoods’ engagement party w/ @Reyes! Congrats guys! xx**

“We gotta go!” Raven announced. “My date is probably already there.”

“Wait – you invited the girl you were seeing?” Clarke questioned walking out of the door.

Raven shrugged and said, “Technically she was already invited.”

Sliding into her car and turning on the engine, Clarke said, “Well I can’t wait to meet miss ‘best sex I’ve ever had’.”

The drive there was chaotic, both girls were dancing and singing in the car, far too excited for the party. Since seeing Lexa’s follow, Clarke’s enthusiasm – and nerves – had returned.

“Happy Engagement, O and Linc!” Clarke yelled bear hugging the two of them together and giving them her gift.

Octavia examined the gift and said jokingly, “Hmm, rectangular and light – Clarke is this a painting?”

“You’re damn right it is, but there’s also a card with $50 in it,” Clarke winked.

Lincoln placed a hand on Clarke’s shoulder and said, “Just the painting would have been fine, Clarke. You know how much I love them.”

Clarke smiled at Lincoln’s kind words. He was so gentle, and Octavia was quite the opposite. They had a good ying-yang thing going on. Clarke was jealous of their happiness, but nevertheless extremely pleased that they had found it with each other.

Raven led her to the side after that, saying something about her date. And when Clarke looked up, she saw _her._

Lexa looked like she belonged in the heavens, not standing two feet in front of her. She was wearing a tight one shoulder black dress with matching stilettos. Lexa’s brown hair was curled to the side, and her face was painted in perfect makeup.

She was so beautiful and Clarke couldn’t stop staring at her.

*

**Lexa**

Clarke looked so beautiful and Lexa couldn’t stop staring at her. Wrapped in v neck, off the shoulder white dress and her hair in an elegant bun with curled pieces framing her face, Lexa swore she had never seen such beauty before. Her mouth hung open slightly, mirroring Clarke’s own expression. Lexa wondered if Clarke knew how amazing she looked tonight. If she didn’t, Lexa would be sure to tell her after a few drinks.

Anya nudged Lexa to get her attention, and Lexa snapped her mouth shut. She felt oddly embarrassed, but when she noticed Raven doing the same thing to Clarke, Lexa felt better. At least they had been checking each other out and it wasn’t one sided.

“Are you guys done or can I introduce you to Anya now?” Raven half-heartedly snapped at Clarke.

“Right – wait! Anya? As in Lincoln’s sister, _Anya?_ ” Clarke questioned, her eyebrows raised.

Anya held out her hand for Clarke, slightly shaking. Lexa knew how much Anya had been dreading this moment. If Clarke didn’t like her, Raven was sure to break things off.

Clarke threw Anya a big smile and shook her hand eagerly, “Well, it’s nice to meet you Anya. Lincoln has only spoken highly of you. And Raven said you were the best sex she’s ever had, so that means you’re a keeper in my books!”

The relief on Anya’s face was apparent, and Lexa was happy that Clarke obviously approved. Lexa had known about Raven for a while, but she didn’t want to say anything in the halls just in case Anya wasn’t supposed to tell anyone.

“Okay so now _that’s_ outta the way, shots anyone?!” Raven suggested with a wiggle of her eyebrows. Anya laughed at the girl and took her hand. Clarke and Lexa trailed behind them to Octavia and Lincoln’s kitchen. The apartment was filling up quickly, and Lexa was already feeling claustrophobic.

“Vodka or tequila?” Lexa asked, holding up two bottles. She was determined not to let the worries of the other day get to her. Not tonight. She was allowed to have one night of freedom.

_“You’re leaving TonDC.”_

_Lexa’s heart dropped and she persisted, “No Indra. I can’t my life is here.”_

_“If Nia finds you, you won’t have a life and neither will Raegon. Is that what you want?” Indra asked harshly._

_“Of course not. Can we just wait and see how things go? I’ll be extra careful, I won’t even go out of the apartment except to see Ahn or Linc.”_

_Indra was silent for many moments and Lexa’s heart was thumping hard in her chest at the prospect of leaving._

_Ultimately if Indra had put her foot down and demanded she leave TonDC, Lexa would do it. Indra did know what was best for her, and disobeying her was like disobeying her own mother._

_“If anything else happens, you will pack your bags and leave. You hear me, Princess?” Indra finally said._

_“Mochof Indra, mochof,” Lexa said in thanks._

Clarke smiled and said, “Vodka, first. Tequila is for when I’m already drunk.”

Lexa slightly smiled at Clarke’s words, she liked her spirit. Pouring out six shots for the girls to do, Lexa turned once before they began to see if Raven or Anya wanted any.

But as she turned around, she realised that they were already downing their own shots and making out. Lexa’s face scrunched up at the sight, they were eating each other’s face off.

“Lexa?” Clarke questioned, clearly waiting for Lexa to start downing them.

“On three, Clarke?” Lexa replied, holding the shot to her lips.

Clarke nodded eagerly and said, “One… two… Three!”

Lexa swallowed the shot and instantly felt the burn down her throat. Clarke handled it like a boss and as the girls made their way through the shots, Lexa could already feel herself getting drunk.

“Enough for now,” she said finally as Clarke reached to pour more.

“Why? I feel fine,” Clarke said raising her eyebrows. Lexa scolded herself, of _course_ Clarke was a heavy drinker. Lexa was, unfortunately for those around her, a very light weight. It meant cheap nights out, but it also meant that she ended up being put to bed before 12am after vomiting everywhere.

Getting herself a beer from the fridge, Lexa lied, “I just like to space out my shots.”

Clarke smiled knowingly and said, “You can’t handle them, can you?”

Lexa flushed and shook her head.

“That’s alright. Did you want to go and talk away from _them_?” Clarke asked, glancing over to the two girls behind them. Weren’t engagement parties supposed to be sophisticated?

“Sure,” Lexa replied. She was still trying to be overly cautious, Nia probably had spies set up in TonDC already and Lexa didn’t know who to trust.

But she was fairly certain that Clarke wasn’t a spy - the girl was far too clumsy and ramble-y. Finding themselves seated on a lounge, Lexa found that most of the time Clarke was talking to the people around her instead of Lexa herself. Clarke seemed to know everyone and managed to hold conversation with anyone that came over to say hi.

However about fifteen minutes later, Clarke finally turned to her and asked, “So what have you been up to?”

Lexa remembered the last time she had seen Clarke, in the hallway right after Raegon’s speech on the television. She was certain Clarke had seen her tears, and was curious as to why she hadn’t mentioned it.

“Clarke,” Lexa began. “What you saw the other day -”

“We don’t need to talk about it,” Clarke interjected. Lexa felt relieved, she hadn’t wanted to talk to Clarke about the tears. She didn’t want to have to lie and make up some story about a fish dying or something.

“Okay,” Lexa replied, fidgeting with her beer before pulling it to her mouth and drowning the contents down her throat.

Clarke stared at her wide eyed, before saying, “Uh, cool.” There was a silence between them, and Lexa could feel her nerves spiking again. She should’ve just stayed away from Clarke. The blonde always made her feel on edge.

“I want another drink, did you want one?” Lexa asked suddenly.

“I’m good, thank you,” Clarke said, pointedly picking up her still half full beer.

Lexa nodded and scurried away to find a drink that wasn’t beer. Eventually she found herself mixing vodka and lemonade together in a cup. Upon tasting it, Lexa discovered that she might have overdone the vodka.

“Ugh,” she said out loud after drinking from the cup. But her mother didn’t raise a quitter, so Lexa stuck with the drink and wondered out to find Clarke.

But when she looked at the lounge she discovered a curly brown haired boy sitting next to her. He looked familiar, and through slightly hazy eyes Lexa recalled him to be a boy from their building. The boy leaned closer and whispered into Clarke’s ear, and Lexa felt her stomach drop slightly. Lexa breathed in heavily and walked across the room, finding Octavia and Anya talking in a corner.

Lexa walked over to them and was immediately greeted by Octavia exclaiming, “Le-xa!”

“How much have you had? The party literally started an hour ago,” Lexa said looking to Anya who just shrugged and smiled, clearly a little tipsy herself.

“It’s my party, I’ll get drunk if I wanna,” she slurred. “Lexa, let’s see who can skull their drinks the fastest!”

Looking at her sixty percent vodka drink Lexa argued, “Ah, I don’t think that is a great idea.”

“Come onnn, Lexa! Don’t be a pussy!” Octavia squealed, gathering the attention of others around them. Including Lincoln who just smiled and continued talking to his friends.

“Yeah Lex – don’t be a pussy,” Anya encouraged.

Lexa sighed and said, “I guess it couldn’t hurt.”

Octavia squealed again and brought her cup to her mouth. Lexa mirrored her and on Anya’s “GO!” they both began gulping down the drinks.

Lexa’s throat burned and her stomach was growling in disgust, but she couldn’t stop now. The urge to beat Octavia at her own game had taken over. The young brunette finally put down a still quarter full drink and Lexa threw her empty plastic cup across the room into a bin.

“Boom!” Lexa exclaimed.

*

**Clarke**

“I saw you looking at that girl before Griffin, you can’t fool me,” Bellamy whispered into her ear jokingly.

Clarke hit him and said, “I was doing no such thing.”

Bellamy raised his eyebrows and Clarke felt a smile spread across her face. She couldn’t hide stuff from him. He knew her too well.

“She is gorgeous though isn’t she Bell?” Clarke relented.

“Go and talk to her,” Bellamy suggested.

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Well, she was actually sitting where you are right now. But she went to get another drink like an hour ago, right before you came over her with your _accusations_.”

“My right-cusations,” Bellamy slurred. It seemed he was also getting drunk. What was it with her friends? Why did they all get so drunk so quickly?

“I’m going to go find her, okay?” Clarke said, getting up from the couch.

The apartment wasn’t too big, so it wasn’t hard for Clark to locate Lexa. Anya and Octavia were standing on top of the kitchen table dancing to the loud pumping music, and Lexa was being pulled up.

Walking over to them, and the people that had crowded around the table, Clarke found Raven staring up at Anya in awe. She was currently dancing pretty provocatively and Clarke could see Raven’s girl boner from a mile away.

But when Lexa started dancing herself, Clarke opened her mouth slightly. The girl had clearly danced before, each movement was fluid and graceful, and Clarke couldn’t stop herself from staring. Even when Lexa caught her eyes.

Clarke could see the glass over Lexa’s eyes, and could only assume that Octavia had gotten her drunk.

Suddenly Lexa bent down towards Clarke and whispered, “Like what you see?”

Clarke was taken back by Lexa’s boldness. This was the same girl who usually avoided her eye and scurried away from her, right? She didn’t know how to respond with Lexa’s emerald eyes boring into hers. Opening and shutting her mouth, she was grateful when Raven pulled her away from the girl.

“Body shots!” Raven exclaimed, grabbing Anya down from the table.

Clarke reached out to help Octavia down, who was barely standing straight on the table. After Octavia was firmly planted on the ground, Clarke reached back up to help Lexa.

The moment Lexa grabbed her hand and gently stepped down, she leaned a bit into Clarke. Drunk Lexa was certainly less guarded than sober Lexa, Clarke had decided. Sober Lexa wouldn’t have been on the table to begin with.

“Thanks,” Lexa purred as Raven set up the salt, lemons and Tequila.

After a few rounds, which included Octavia doing a shot off Lincoln, and then proceeding to dry hump him, Raven decided to take matters into her own hands.

“Clarke you haven’t even done one!” Raven screeched from across the table.

Clarke help up her half empty cup of rum and said, “I’m good, Rae!”

But Raven was not having it. “No way, Griffin. You’re not getting out of this!” When she turned and whispered something into Anya’s ear, Clarke was already one hundred percent sure that Raven was going to call Lexa to be the body.

“Anya has agreed to be your body!” Raven screamed.

 _“Wait – what?”_ Clarke asked in surprise. “I can’t!”

“I’ll do it,” came a voice from next to Clarke.

All eyes turned onto Lexa, and Clarke stared at her in complete and utter shock. Raven nodded eagerly and Lexa clambered up on to the table, kicking off her heels and putting the shot glass carefully over her stomach.

Clarke hoped she didn’t spill any tequila on Lexa’s pretty dress, and again she wondered what the _hell_ kind of engagement party this was. Clarke had been to many before, but never one with tequila body shots and table dancing girls.

Clarke watched as Lexa placed the lemon in between her lips and she couldn’t help but feel extremely turned on. Anya held out the salt to Clarke, and in that moment Clarke decided to just let herself go.

How could she deny _this_ body shot?

Picking up Lexa’s hand, she slid her tongue from the beginning of her hand to her knuckle and sprinkled a small amount of salt onto the wetness. Clarke caught Lexa’s eye and was pleased to see that her pupils had dilated, clearly feeling the same attraction.

“One… two … three!” Raven exclaimed.

The movements were quick, as they should be, and Clarke quickly licked the salt off Lexa’s hand before bending over and picking up the shot glass with her mouth. Downing the shot, Clarke set down the glass and made her way up to the lemon.

Feeling the hot burn of tequila, Clarke quickly placed her lips around the lemon before bringing it out of Lexa’s mouth, barely touching her lips as she went.

The alcohol oozed through Clarke’s body and she felt Lexa’s eyes on her again. Clarke smiled before grabbing her cup and downing the rest of the contents. Helping Lexa off the table once more, Clarke was starting to feel more than buzzed.

“Clar-ke,” Lexa said, letting the ‘k’ roll off her tongue.

“Yes?” Clarke replied.

Lexa leant into her, and Clarke quickly pulled her upright. “I don’t feel so good, Clarke.”

*

**Lexa**

One minute, Lexa was dancing on the table and the next she was being guided into a bathroom with Clarke at her side. It felt good, getting drunk and feeling like a normal twenty-year old. But she was always slightly embarrassed that _Clarke_ was the one helping her. 

“You don’t need to help me,” Lexa said as they entered the bathroom. “Go back to your fr-iends, I will be fi-ne.”

Clarke shook her head and said, “It’s okay, I want to help you.” Bringing a cup of water to her lips, Clarke motioned for her to drink.

Lexa obliged and almost instantly she felt a bit better. Not enough to go and drink more of Octavia’s devil’s substance, but enough to not want to puke her guts up.

She sat on the ground and she saw Clarke sit beside her, tentatively putting a hand on her shoulder. Lexa knew she shouldn’t be talking to the girl, that if she did this stupid crush wouldn’t probably turn into more. She couldn’t allow that to happen. She had to focus on getting her brother safe, and her country back.

Thinking about Raegon, dimmed Lexa’s buzz and she threw her head back a bit into the wall. She shouldn’t have gotten wasted. Because now she was just going to turn into a complete mess and Clarke was going to think she was weak and a drunken fool.

Thinking about herself being a mess, involuntarily brought back a memory from a night long ago, when Lexa had snuck into the palace, drunk and stumbling. It had been one hell of a party, and Lexa likely still had lipstick all over her neck and mouth from a pretty redhead that she met. Lexa thought she had been quiet, but apparently that was _not_ the case.

Ida had stormed out from her room and dragged Lexa up the stairs, hand over her mouth and whispering for her to _be quiet._ She helped Lexa out of her clothes and into pyjamas, and tucked her in with a cup of water and aspirin.

Lexa remembered feeling guilty the next morning as Ida stared daggers to her at breakfast. But even though she was furious with Lexa, Ida had cared enough to look after her. And, she never told their parents, which saved Lexa a lengthy lecture about ‘princess etiquette’ and the ‘family reputation’.  

“Feeling better?” Clarke cooed from beside her, snapping Lexa out of her memories.

It seemed that whenever Lexa thought of her family, she couldn’t control her emotions. The memories of Ida hurt every day.

Eventually, Lexa turned to face Clarke and said honestly, “No.”

Clarke gave her a comforting smile, “I mean like are you going to vomit or not?”

“Then yes, I am feeling better,” Lexa replied, turning her head away from Clarke again.

“Do you want to talk about it now?” Clarke questioned.

They were heading in dangerous territory, and Lexa knew that once she began talking of Ida she would likely never stop. But the words spilled from Lexa’s mouth and she couldn’t stop herself.

“It’s my sister. I miss her,” Lexa said simply.

“How long has it been since you saw her?” Clarke asked, her eyes wide and filled with genuine care.

Lexa put her face in her hands, “It’s been five years since she died.”

Clarke put her hand comfortingly on Lexa’s back before whispering, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to -”

“It’s fine,” Lexa said waving off Clarke’s apologies. Clarke was still touching her and Lexa was all too aware of it. Lexa looked into Clarke’s eyes and she could feel herself drowning in the deep ocean blue.

“Do you want to go back out to the party?” Lexa questioned quietly.

“No, I’d much rather stay here and talk to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so enjoy this chapter of bad drunk lexa and helpful clarke before the drama comes lmao
> 
> message me your thoughts on tumblr : trigedaslengslut
> 
> up next: lexa gets a message and clexa have to stay in lexa's apartment all day bc ranya are having a sex-a-thon


	4. four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa get to know each other and Lexa hears from Polaris.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again i couldn't resist and wrote another one. hope you all like it x

**Clarke**

“Lexa can you stand up straight for just one minute?” Clarke scowled. Lexa was a mess. A _hot_ mess, but still a clingy, rambling drunken mess.

Clarke didn’t really mind. Hell she was just glad the girl was even talking to her, even if she was very intoxicated. But now that the party was over, and Clarke had refused Lincoln’s help to get the girl back to her apartment, she was tired and struggling to keep the taller brunette up right.

“Clar-ke, are we home yet?” Lexa muttered, her hands swaying.

“Yes, but first you need to step into the elevator Lexa,” Clarke said gently. “There we go, just one more please.”

Lexa smiled lazily as she leant against the back of the elevator, clearly proud of her huge achievement. Clarke returned the smile, not being able to stay even slightly annoyed at the girl. Lexa was so out of character tonight and Clarke had been surprised by her willingness to let her guard down.

She wondered if sober Lexa was going to go back to ignoring her and avoiding her at all costs.

Lexa stepped towards Clarke and whispered into her ear, “You look so beautiful tonight.”

Flushing, Clarke responded, “As did you.”

“You look like a true _prisa_ ,” Lexa purred. Clarke’s eyebrows raised at the word. _Prisa?_

“What’s a prisa, Lexa?” Clarke asked.

Lexa relaxed back into the wall and replied, “It means princess in Polarian.”

“Polarian? How do _you_ know Polarian?” Clarke questioned, intrigued at the new found trait of Lexa’s.

The doors opened at their level, and Clarke hooped her arms under Lexa’s arm pit. Pulling her up and out of the elevator, Clarke was surprised that Lexa was actually walking properly this time.

“Do you have your keys?”

Lexa nodded clumsily and opened her purse, pulling out a three keys. Grabbing them off the girl, Clarke observed that two were quite plain and boring, clearly being the house and car keys. But the other was quite intricate and elegant. Clarke wondered what on earth it could be for.

Turns out the boring key was the house key, and Clarke opened the door and guided Lexa inside. Lexa immediately kicked off her stilettos and collapsed on the lounge.

“Thank you, Klark,” Lexa said looking up at the blonde.

“Anytime,” Clarke smiled. “Make sure to drink some water and take aspirin before bed. I’ll see you around.”

Clarke turned to leave, but Lexa caught her arm. “Stay?”

Stunned, Clarke asked, “I don’t know, Lexa. I think you’ll regret that in the morning.”

Lexa shook her head furiously, but released Clarke’s arm. She began walking over to what Clarke presumed was Lexa’s bedroom. Before she stepped in she turned back to Clarke and said, “Please, Clarke? I may die if you don’t.”

Clarke laughed at her statement, “You won’t die, Lexa. I never knew you were this dramatic.”

Lexa’s face turned down at this, but she nodded and said, “Leidon, Clarke.”

Confused again at Lexa’s strange words, Clarke couldn’t help but feel guilty. Seeing those sad emerald eyes tugged on her heart and Clarke couldn’t say no.

“Fine,” Clarke said, throwing her hands up in defeat. “But I’m sleeping on the lounge, no arguments.”

Lexa nodded eagerly, and stepped in closer towards Clarke. “Will you wake me before you go?”

“Sure.”

*

The next morning, Clarke felt anything but healthy. Her head was pounding and her mouth was dry. Realising that she probably ended up drinking more than she thought, Clarke opened her eyes and was surprised to see unfamiliar surroundings.

The events of the night before rushed back to her, and she remembered that she was in _Lexa’s_ apartment. Jumping up from the lounge, Clarke took in the room before her. There were no photos or decorations, aside from one frame of a younger Anya, Lincoln and Lexa, and Clarke couldn’t help but feel that Lexa’s apartment was overwhelmingly plain. Except for the thousands of candles seemingly scattered all over the place. Was Lexa a secret candle hoarder?

Picking up the frame, Clarke examined the photo. Smiling to herself, she was unsurprised to see Anya beaming at the camera, whilst Lexa held her face high and stoic and Lincoln only a showed a slight smile.

“That was a good day,” came a voice from behind her. Clarke was so startled she almost dropped the frame. Gently putting it back, she turned around and was confronted with a slightly dishevelled, but still gorgeous Lexa standing in her doorway.

“It was just after I’d moved to TonDC, and Anya suggested we go to the beach. Lincoln and I only agreed with the promise of free ice-cream,” Lexa said, slightly smiling.

Clarke smiled at the girl, noting the change of clothes from last night. Lexa was stripped of the tight black dress, and was now dressed comfortably in a white tank and black shorts. She looked so _vulnerable_. And she was still talking to Clarke. Something that Clarke had not expected.

“How is your head?” Clarke asked, not feeling all that great herself.

Lexa shrugged, “Hurts.”

Silence fell between them, but Lexa never looked away from Clarke’s eyes and she couldn’t help but feel oddly intimidated by it.

“I should go,” Clarke suggested. “I’m pretty hungover for someone who didn’t dance on top of a table.”

Lexa’s face flushed, obviously remembering her drunken antics. “I’m sorry I acted so ridiculously last night.”

“It’s fine, Lexa. It was my pleasure to look after you,” Clarke said honestly, trying to ease the tension between them. “I’ll see you around?”

Lexa nodded, “I think I would like that.”

Leaving Lexa’s apartment smiling and giddy like a schoolgirl, Clarke couldn’t wait to have a shower and sleep for ten years.

Approaching her apartment, Clarke remembered that she’d left her car at Octavia and Lincoln’s and her keys. Groaning she slammed her fist on the door, praying that Raven had gotten home safely and was awake.

“Raven!” she shouted, still knocking.

“Go away, Clarke!” Raven shouted in reply.

Clarke’s eyes widened in surprise. _Go away?_ This was her apartment was it not?

“Raven, open the damn door. Right now!”

The door opened slightly, but not enough for Clarke to squeeze through. Peering in the same, Clarke was not all that surprised to see half of Raven’s boob.

“What’s going on?” Clarke questioned.

“You can come in, but I’m just letting you know that Anya and I are in the midst of a sex-a-thon,” Raven smirked.

Growling, Clarke responded, “Are you serious?”

“Come in and see how serious I am,” Raven replied sneakily. Clarke swore out loud, angry that she couldn’t even go into her own damn apartment to get rid of her god awful hangover.

“Alright, alright!” Clarke said finally. “I’m coming back at 6 and you guys had better be done.”

“Love you,” Raven said, shutting the door.

Clarke huffed, more than slightly pissed off with her roommate. Locked out of her own apartment for a sex-a-thon. Brilliant. Where would she go now?

She was definitely _not_ going back to Octavia and Lincoln’s. Their apartment probably looked like hell and she was not up for cleaning today. She couldn’t go to Bellamy’s because he was just as wrecked as her.

There was seemingly only one place to go.

*

**Lexa**

After Clarke left, Lexa took out her phone and silently laughed at the various conversations she had last night.

**AnyaBananya: where is U**

**AnyaBananya: r u wit pretty blonde Clarke Griffin**

**AnyaBananya: I think I’m in luv wit raven**

**Lexie: I am wit clark yes**

**Lexie: tell her u fool**

Thinking about Clarke made about a million other memories re-surface, and Lexa couldn’t believe she’d told the girl about Ida. Or spoken Polarian in front of her. Or told her various other tid bits of information about her interests and hobbies. Drunk Lexa had almost destroyed her cover. One more slip and Clarke could have put the pieces together.

But despite the fact that she left her guard almost completely down with Clarke last night, Lexa couldn’t hold herself back from the girl any longer. She wanted to get to know her, wanted to have an actual _friend_ rather than a string of acquaintances. Lexa knew it was a risk, and that ultimately she’d be heading back for Polaris in ten short months anyways. But Clarke had looked after her when she didn’t have to, and comforted her when she didn’t need to. She could be trusted, Lexa decided.

Opening her Twitter, she was about to DM Clarke when a loud knock at her door startled her. Rushing over, she peeked through the hole surprised to see Clarke standing there, still wearing the dress from last night.

“Clarke?” she asked, opening the door.

The girl smiled nervously and said, “Sorry, I’ve been locked out of my apartment because Raven and Anya are having a sex-a-thon and I don’t want to clean with Octavia or be hungover with Bellamy and I don’t really have anywhere else to go so I was just wondering if I could stay here just for a couple of hours?”

Lexa almost laughed at the rambling, but said almost instantly, “Sure.”

Clarke stepped inside and fidgeted nervously with her hands and purse. Lexa walked past her and into her small kitchen. After two minutes of silence, she handed the girl a glass of cold water and gestured for her to sit down.

“Did you want something to eat, Clarke?” she asked. Her own stomach felt like it may fall out, but she didn’t want to not offer anything to the blonde.

Putting down the glass, Clarke look disgusted and said, “God no. But could I, uh, borrow some clothes? I feel so gross in this.”

Lexa smiled knowingly and rushed into her bedroom to pick out some spare clothes for Clarke. Her wardrobe was pretty neutral, all blacks, whites and greys. But she found an oversized maroon shirt and black tights that she thought Clarke may like.

Changing into a black cotton shirt and white shorts herself, Lexa brought the clothes out to Clarke and watched as the girl disappeared into her bathroom to get changed.

When she emerged, Lexa was sitting straight on the lounge twiddling her thumbs. Clarke sat next to her and said, “Alright, enough awkward silence. What are we doing today?”

Lexa raised her eyebrows, “Uh, it’s up to you?”

“Well, I am in no fit state to go out and face the world. Do you have any board games?” Clarke asked excitedly.

Lexa nodded and went to get the selection out of the hallway cupboard. Returning with _Scrabble, Cluedo_ and _Monopoly_ , Lexa hoped that Clarke would be pleased with the options.

“Yes, I love _Monopoly_! I bags being the car!” the blonde squealed, flattening Lexa’s fears.

*

Four hours later and Lexa was pouting. She’d never lost a game of Monopoly in her life, not even to Gustus. How Clarke beat her, Lexa had no idea. One minute Lexa was rolling in cash, and the next minute Clarke was placing hotels everywhere and Lexa was bankrupt.

“You may now bow down to me, the Queen of Monopoly!” Clarke exclaimed in victory. She jumped up and waved her hands in the air.

Lexa laughed and said, “You got me on a weak day. I’ll beat you next time.”

“Next time, hey?” Clarke winked.

The game had been intense, mainly because Lexa had come to find out that Clarke was just as – if not more – competitive than she was. The two mostly threw taunts at each other back and forth until Lexa had flicked over her dog in defeat.

“Wait I want to take a selfie with you and the Monopoly board. I want to broadcast to all my followers how great I am at this game,” Clarke said excitedly, grabbing her phone and holding it up.

Shaking her hair half over her face and covering her face with her hands, Lexa deemed that this was a safe selfie. But she highly doubted Nia would be checking Clarke’s social media.

“No way, put your face in it,” Clarke demanded, dragging Lexa closer.

Still putting one hand over her face, Lexa couldn’t help but smile at Clarke’s antics. She heard the camera click and minutes later a notification popped up on her own phone. Clicking on it, Lexa smiled when she saw the post Clarke had made.

**@ClarkeGriff: Just destroyed @LexWoods in an EPIC four hour game of Monopoly!! #bestmonopolyplayerintheworld**

“Not bad huh?” Clarke said, observing Lexa reading the post. Lexa jokingly punched Clarke in the arm, before putting her phone away.

Packing up the board, Lexa asked curiously, “What did you want to do now?” She had hoped Clarke wouldn’t need to leave yet, she was having fun having the energetic blonde around. Lexa was of course still on edge with Clarke, just as she would be with anyone new in her life, but she was also starting to feel comfortable. Like she could be herself.

Well not her true Princess of Polaris self, but she could be Lexa without the strings attached.

“I gave Raven until 6, and there’s no way I’m going back to see whatever nasty thing your cousin and my best friend are doing,” Clarke explained with a disgusted look on her face.

Lexa smiled, pushing herself up from the ground. Clarke had demanded that they use the coffee table instead of the dining table for the game. Lexa hadn’t disagreed because Clarke probably would’ve gone on a wild ramble as to why it was better.

“Wait I’ve got it!” Clarke said standing up suddenly. “Let’s play two truths, one lie!”

Stiffening, Lexa held her breath. She didn’t think this would be a good idea. How much could she tell Clarke without accidentally slipping out, “I was raised in a Palace in a small country called Polaris, I am the heir the Polaris throne, my brother is being held practically captive in said castle. Oh and I love candles.”

“Come on Lexa, I want to get to know you better!” Clarke said nudging her. “Especially now that you aren’t scurrying away from me anymore.”

Lexa flushed, she hadn’t realised that Clarke had noticed her antics. “Sorry.”

“You will only be forgiven if you play,” Clarke said with a sly smile.

Slumping her shoulders in defeat, she walked over to the kitchen and grabbed two wine glasses.

“I hope you’re up to wine,” Lexa said, pouring out some white wine into the glasses.

“Always,” Clarke responded.

Giving Clarke her glass, Lexa motioned over to her lounge and sat down nervously. She knew she had to be extra careful with what she said in this game, she really didn’t want to have to call Indra and tell her she messed up.

“You first,” Lexa said, taking a sip from her glass.

“I love dogs. I want three children. I hate the ocean.”

Lexa looked at Clarke, mulling over her answer. “Three children seems specific, so it must be true. And you’re an artist, so you _must_ like or be inspired by the ocean. So that’s the lie?”

Clarke beamed and said, “Correct! Your turn.”

“Uh, I like to work out. I can speak three languages. Black is my favourite colour,” Lexa said cautiously.

Clarke took a sip and stared at Lexa, trying to pick her lie. Suddenly, her hand reached up and went across Lexa’s bicep.

“Hm. Well that crosses out the working out as a lie,” Clarke winked. Lexa stiffened at the touch, feeling the heat on her arm long after Clarke removed her hand. “And I know you can obviously speak two languages, but three is a stretch – so that’s the lie!”

Lexa shook her head, “Incorrect.”

“What!?” Clarke said with a pout.

“Black _was_ my favourite colour. But recently, I’ve come to favour the colour blue,” Lexa said turning her eyes away from Clarke. _Smoooooth Lexa,_ she thought.

Clarke seemed to not think anything of her response and simply replied with, “So you speak _three_ languages?”

“Yes.”

“What ones?” Clarke asked eagerly.

Lexa took another sip, she didn’t know whether to just bite the bullet and spill, or do the smart thing and lie.

“English, Polarian and French.”

Clarke looked surprised, “Polarian? Have you gone to Polaris?”

Lexa almost choked on her wine, but meekly responded, “Uh, yes. Many years ago. It was what I spoke last night, when I uh called you a prisa.”

“Oh. I seems like a beautiful language. But it seems like there’s so much buzz going around about that place at the moment. Did you know about the missing Princess?” Clarke asked, eager to find out as much as she could.

“Yes,” Lexa stated bluntly. “It is your turn Clarke.”

Clarke looked a bit taken back by Lexa’s bluntness, but kept the game going. “Alright, cranky pants. My mother is a psycho, but I love her. I’ve slept with Raven. I’m bisexual.”

This time Lexa did actually spit her drink out a bit. She’d known Clarke was flirtatious and Lexa had certainly thought she may have been interested. But to hear Clarke pretty much confirm it, both excited Lexa and made her suddenly extremely nervous.

“Raven is quite attractive, but I don’t think you would lie about your sexuality,” Lexa responded after a moment of gathering her thoughts.

“Got it again. Raven and I have made out, but she’s not exactly my type,” Clarke replied, smiling brightly at Lexa.

“What is your, uh, type?” Lexa asked curiously, drinking again from her glass.

Clarke wriggled her eyebrows and said, “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

_Yup, definitely flirting with me. Clarke is one hundred percent flirting with me,_ Lexa thought.

“That’s why I asked,” Lexa responded bluntly.

Clarke smiled again and took a long sip of wine before answering, “Your turn.”

Rolling her eyes, Lexa thought hard for a minute before deciding to be just as bold as Clarke.

“I’m gay. My parents live uptown. I despise trash tv.”

Taking her time to mull over Lexa’s statements, Clarke eventually said, “You seem like someone who would despise ‘trash’ tv, and I assume you wouldn’t lie about sexuality either. So your parents don’t live uptown?”

“No, they’re dead.”

Clarke opened her mouth and stared at Lexa for a solid two minutes before saying, “What?”

“Car crash, about five and a half years ago,” Lexa said sadly. She wasn’t sure why she had been so blunt, but Clarke _had_ insisted they get to know each other.

“Lexa, I’m so sorry. You didn’t have to tell me that,” Clarke said, putting her hand on Lexa’s thigh comfortingly.

Lexa shrugged and said, “I wanted to.”

Clearing her throat, eager to change the conversation Lexa asked, “Did you want to, uh, take a selfie?”

“Sure,” Clarke replied happily.

Lexa pulled out her phone and smiled slightly at the camera, moving closer to Clarke so that the girls could fit in both their faces and wine glasses.

**@LexWoods: Wine and talks w/ @ClarkeGriff. #newfriends**

Lexa never really used her Twitter, but she had suddenly felt the urge to post _something_ with Clarke. To cement their friendship. Or to show her off. Either way, it worked for Lexa.

“I love it, we look so cute,” Clarke said with a slight giggle.

A notification popped up on Lexa’s screen and clicking on it, she was taken back by the reply she had gotten.

**@Reyes: #adorable #datealready #clexa #bangherclarkey**

She was barely typing a reply, when she saw that Clarke had already beat her to it and Lexa was more than disappointed by her reply.

**@ClarkeGriff: @Reyes shut the fuck up, can I come home yet?**

**@Reyes: @ClarkeGriff @LexWoods how about you both come over?**

Clarke looked up to Lexa and tilted her head to the side as if asking her if she wanted to. Lexa nodded and said, “As long as you have food there.”

Clarke chuckled and replied, “Doubt it, but we’ll order in.”

They were just making their way out of the door when Lexa saw an envelope on her doormat. Picking it up, the alarms in her head were going off at the delicate cursive writing and Polaris postage stamp.

“Lexa?” Clarke asked cautiously, sensing the girl’s unease.

“Go on, I’ll meet you in there,” Lexa said, opening the envelope.

Sucking in a deep breath, Lexa expected it to be from Nia. That she had sent to her just to tell her that she was on her way with an army of assassins ready to kill her. However, Lexa couldn’t be more wrong.

_Dria,_

_Be at the payphone on the corner of Ark Avenue at 5pm this coming Tuesday._

_Raegon_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow raegon sounds pretty cold right? i know it's trigedasleng, but polarian felt more appropriate considering i tried to be #original and make lexa's real last name trigeda. 
> 
> who woulda thought a game of MONOPOLY would help build a friendship????? also slightly obsessed with social media clexa so that's that.
> 
> up next: lexa tries to pull away from clarke, but clarke is a persistent binch who doesn't let her, and lexa gets a call from her bro
> 
> thoughts? - tumblr: trigedaslengslut


	5. five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke finds a new muse and Lexa gets the call she's been waiting for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really have got to learn to space out my updates

**Clarke**

Clarke could feel Lexa detaching from their newfound friendship quicker than it even started. The night she came by for dinner, Clarke knew Lexa’s head was somewhere else. She wasn’t engaging in conversation like she had earlier that day – Lexa was even acting distant towards Anya. Lexa simply sat on Clarke’s lounge and stared off into space, occasionally taking small bites of pizza. Clarke didn’t know what had happened, but she sure as hell wasn’t going to let Lexa backtrack with their friendship. Not when they’d made so much progress that day.

The days that followed were incredibly busy for Clarke, she had a meeting with a gallery owner the following week for a possible showcase and Clarke needed to fill up her portfolio. She spent all hours of the day on her paintings and drawings, tweaking them to perfection. leaving her with next to no time to ponder Lexa’s silence.

She was in the beginnings of a new painting when her phone buzzed with an incoming call. Looking down, Clarke groaned at the sight of _Mom_ on the caller ID. Deciding it was better to answer it, than face the four thousand voice mails and texts her mother was sure to hound her with if she let it go, Clarke pressed the green button hastily.

“Hey Mom,” Clarke answered.

Abby’s voice came through almost immediately, “Hello my girl, how are things?”

“Everything is fine,” Clarke replied.

“Living with Raven going smoothly?”

Clarke sighed and said, “Mostly. You know Raven, she can get a little full on sometimes. But I love her.”

Abby and Clarke embarked on idle conversation for about an hour, both skirting around the issue of Clarke’s career. But finally, after one subtle comment too many, Clarke barked, “Enough, just say your piece.”

“It’s September, Clarke.”

“And you said I had until December to make it. I still have four months,” Clarke stated bluntly.

Abby sighed into the phone and said, “I know honey. And I’m still giving you that time and supporting you financially both because I love you, and because I respect your father’s final wishes. But it doesn’t make having an unemployed daughter any easier.”

“Do you even actually believe I can make it?” Clarke asked, feeling tears brim her eyes. Her feelings towards her mother were filled with love and respect, but she often got the feeling that Abby was hoping Clarke would fail. Because then Clarke would give up and go to med school, just like her mom had _always_ wanted.

“You’re a brilliant artist, Clarke. But it is a hard industry to get into, and I just want you to keep your options open,” Abby explained. She knew her mother genuinely cared about her wellbeing, and Clarke _was_ grateful that she was supporting her financially. Without it, Clarke would not be able to afford anything other than necessities. Free-lancing was hard, and Clarke only ever had odd jobs. Like painting murals for schools and sketching for websites.

“I actually have a meeting with a gallery owner in a week,” Clarke stated.

“I do hope you’ll ring and tell me all about it,” Abby replied.

Clarke changed the subject after that, she didn’t wish to fight with her mom or have her dream of being an artist squashed even more. And after thirty more minutes of chit chat, Abby finally let her go.

Staring back at her blank canvas, Clarke couldn’t muster the will the begin painting. She couldn’t even think of what to paint, or what the owner was looking for. Clarke had drew a sketch of TonDC from a large hill near the ocean, she had painted intricate waves and the endless stream of trees from the forest around the corner from the apartment. But Clarke felt like she was missing something. Something more personal.

Gathering the courage to text the girl from across the hall, Clarke hoped that she wouldn’t be making a fool of herself. Or putting herself out there only for Lexa to push away from her further.

**Queen of Monopoly: Hey Lexa, how are you?** **J**

**Commander Grumpy: Hello, Clarke. I’m well. You?**

Clarke huffed a bit, disgruntled by Lexa’s lack of emotion or emoji use. But she’d replied at least. That was a start.

**Queen of Monopoly: I’m good, feeling a bit uninspired. Are you home?**

**Commander Grumpy: Yes.**

**Queen of Monopoly: Come over. I need a new muse.**

Clarke had almost threw away her phone after not receiving an instant reply from Lexa. But when the door knocked, Clarke all but sprinted across the apartment. Opening the door, she found a stoic looking Lexa wearing a loose grey t-shirt and black ripped jeans. Looking down at her grey sweatpants and paint spotted white shirt, Clarke couldn’t help but feel self-conscious.

“Come in,” Clarke greeted warmly, pushing away her uneasiness.

Lexa didn’t smile back, but stepped into the room and said, “You called for a muse?”

“Indeed I did,” Clarke said, smiling. “Take a seat and look at me.”

Lexa did as Clarke told her, and after about ten minutes, Clarke was sketching Lexa’s perfectly angular face onto her canvas.

“Clarke,” Lexa said finally after a prolonged silence.

“Shh, stay still,” Clarke commanded. Lexa pursed her lips and Clarke had just about finished outlining her when she spoke again.

“Clarke, I’m sorry about the other night.”

Clarke put down her pencils and started mixing paints together, before replying, “It’s fine, I’m sure you just had a lot on your mind.”

“I did. I _do_ ,” Lexa said with a sad smile. “But you don’t need to deal with my mood changes all the time. You don’t deserve it.”

“Well, it’s too late to go back now.”

Lexa raised her eyebrows as Clarke started painting the girl. “Too late?”

“Yeah because we’re friends now. And there’s nothing you can do about it,” Clarke stated bluntly.

Opening her mouth to protest, Clarke silence her with a look and flick of the paint brush, “Stop moving now, gotta get these colours right.”

For the next hour and a half the girls sat in a sort of blissful silence, neither feeling the need to fill it with idle conversation. Clarke was painting away, and Lexa was more than happy to sit on the lounge playing Clash of Clans on her iPhone once Clarke had said she was free to move around.

When Clarke was half finished the project she spotted Lexa staring at her out of the corner of her eye.

“You’re staring,” Clarke stated, dipping her paint brush in the swirl of emerald green and gently stroking the canvas.

“You’re beautiful,” Lexa said bluntly. Clarke’s head snapped to Lexa and the girl looked completely relaxed, like what she had just said wasn’t extremely out of character and straight forward.

Clarke opened her mouth to reply, but at that moment the door slammed open and a laughing Raven and Anya strolled in with two bags of what appeared to be alcohol in their hands. Lexa smiled softly at Clarke before turning around to see the girls.

“Hey Clarke, bought your favourite – oh hey Lexa, how’s it hanging,” Raven greeted in wild voice.

“It is hanging well,” Lexa said strangely, as if she didn’t quite understand what Raven was saying.

Clarke stood up from her stool, and saw Anya staring daggers at Lexa. Gently putting her hand on Lexa’s shoulder, Clarke nudged her a bit. Lexa turned to look at Clarke, before turning her eyes to the hand on her shoulder.

“Are you guys okay?” Clarke whispered.

“Yes,” Lexa replied sternly, before standing up. “I will go now.”

“Stay a while?” Clarke asked. Anya was still glaring at Lexa and Raven had now caught on to what was happening. Anya and Lexa were fighting, but Clarke wasn’t about to ask why. Anya was nice, but she was just as intimidating as Lexa was.

“Next time,” Lexa promised, staring into Clarke’s eyes. “Anya, a word?”

*

**Lexa**

Lexa had been avoiding Clarke again. After Raegon’s slightly cold message and the overwhelming pressure from Indra to keep entirely to herself, Lexa felt it was better to distance herself from the blonde. At least until the heat had died down about the ‘lost Princess of Polaris’, and until after she’ spoken to her brother.

But after days of silence, Lexa had finally gotten a text from the girl and she couldn’t find it in herself to deny her. Their friendship was a welcome distraction, and with Tuesday steadily catching up on her, Lexa needed to take her mind off her brother and whatever it was he had to say.

However, in the days that followed her and Clarke’s apartment stay-in, Lexa had also chosen to ignore Lincoln and Anya’s worried texts and calls. Which had in turn warranted Anya’s current death stare.

Lexa couldn’t avoid her cousin any longer and standing in the hallway with the girl just made Lexa feel even worse about her silence.

“Well?” Anya demanded. “What the hell is going on?”

Lexa shrugged and said, “I just wanted a few days of silence.”

“Bullshit. Tell me.”

Breathing out heavily, Lexa decided to just let Anya have it. She trusted this girl with her life. She could trust her with this piece of information.

“Raegon contacted me,” Lexa stated.

Anya’s mouth opened in shock, and her facial features softened considerably. “What did he say?”

“He wants to talk on a payphone on Tuesday,” Lexa explained. “Don’t try to talk me out of going. I know full well it could be a trap, but I cannot miss an opportunity to talk to him.”

“You know I’d never do that,” Anya said. “But I _am_ coming with you. And Linc is too. No way are you facing this alone.”

Lexa’s heart warmed at Anya’s kind words. What she had done to deserve her as a cousin, even if not by blood, Lexa did not know.

Smiling Lexa said, “Deal.”

*

Tuesday came round quicker than Lexa had expected, and by midday she had almost thrown up twice in nervousness. Anya and Lincoln were coming by soon, and Lexa tried desperately to pull herself together. She could not look weak in front of them.

Clarke and her had been in almost constant communication and each time Clarke’s name came up on her screen, Lexa felt herself relax in their easy friendship. Each day that went by, she told herself that it was wrong and that Indra would _not_ be happy if she found out. But each day, she found Clarke’s dry humour and ramble-y texts impossible to ignore.

**Captain Clarke: Come over, I have beer and snacks. ;)**

Lexa bit her lip before replying, if this were any other day she would jump at the chance to see Clarke. But today, Lexa needed to prepare for whatever Raegon was going to drop on her. _And_ she still felt like her stomach may fall out.

**Leggy Lexa: I can’t today, Clarke.**

**Captain Clarke: Why not** **L**

**Leggy Lexa: I have plans.**

**Captain Clarke: A date?**

Lexa noted that Clarke did not accompany the last text with her usual emoji, but told herself that it was nothing.

**Leggy Lexa: No, I am going out with Anya and Lincoln.**

**Leggy Lexa: I can come over after?** **J**

Lexa hesitated before adding the smiley face. She never used emoji’s, but she felt guilty rejecting Clarke’s offer. And she also really wanted to go over after her call with Raegon. Even if it was to just sit there silently as Clarke painted various parts of her face.

**Captain Clarke: Sounds like a plan** **J x**

Lexa’s breath caught when Clarke added the kiss at the end of the text. Had they upgraded from friendly chit chat to flirtatious use of letters? What did this mean? Was Clarke interested?

Lexa thought back to the other day when she had told Clarke that she was beautiful. She hadn’t been lying. Clarke had looked amazing with her blonde hair tied up and bandana around her forehead, stripped of makeup and bearing paint spotted clothes. Clarke’s mouth had gone wide, and her blues eyes darkened.

Maybe Lexa was being too bold, but she couldn’t help it. There were days when she wanted Clarke to be more than a friend. _Many_ days. But with everything else going on in her life, Lexa had decided that it just wasn’t fair to involve someone else in her drama. Especially Clarke, who had been nothing short of wonderful to Lexa. Even when she was being cold and stoic.

The door banged and Lexa rushed to let her cousins in. There was still three and a half hours to go before she wanted to be waiting by the payphone, but she wanted Anya and Lincoln to come and take her mind off Raegon until then.

“Lexie, how are you?” Lincoln greeted with a smile. Lexa returned the smile and pulled her cousins in for a hug.

Looking over Lincoln’s shoulder, she saw Octavia knocking on Clarke’s door. Letting go of Lincoln and pushing him and Anya in the apartment, she took her time to shut the door. As Clarke answered her own door, Lexa waited a bit to hopefully catch her eye. Eventually, Clarke looked over and flashed Lexa a sly smile and waved. Lexa gave the girl a short wave before shutting the door.

“What was _that_?” Anya asked with a smile. 

“What do you mean, what was that?” Lexa replied, knowing full well what Anya had meant. Even Lincoln was looking at Lexa with a smile.

“You took like six hours to shut a door, just to catch a glimpse of blondie,” Anya explained, plopping herself down on Lexa’s couch.

Lexa rolled her eyes and asked, “Wine anyone?”

*

The hours went by quickly, and soon enough it was time to make their way to Ark Avenue. By this point, Lexa was shaking with anxiety. What if her brother told her to stay away? To not come back as she’d planned?

“Good luck, we’ll be waiting right here,” Lincoln said, putting a hand on her shoulder comfortingly. Anya nodded in luck and Lexa made her way into the little payphone box.

It was 4.50pm and Lexa’s palms were sweating. She anxiously tapped on the phone until the time on her phone switched to 5pm.

After almost a minute of waiting, Lexa was sure he wasn’t calling. But then the phone rang and Lexa immediately grabbed it.

“Hello?” she practically yelled into the microphone.

“Dria?” came the strong voice from the other end of the line.

Relief surged through Lexa, “Raegon?”

“I have missed you sister,” Raegon replied sadly.

Lexa’s heart was pounding and she was lost for words, unsure of how she could express everything she had been feeling for the last six years.

“We don’t have much time. I am using a burner phone to reach you,” Raegon explained.

“If Nia finds out, Rae, she’ll punish you or … worse,” Lexa stated. “I’m so happy you reached out to me, but it’s so dangerous. So, so dangerous.”

“My memory may be spotty, Dria, but I know the danger of which you speak. I remember why you had to leave me, sis. You protected me.”

Lexa’s breath hitched as Raegon spoke. He remembered. He didn’t hate her. He didn’t think she abandoned him.

“What’s going on?” Lexa asked cautiously. “Are you being hurt?”

“No, but Nia is losing it, Dria. She’s keeping me locked in the palace, not allowing me to have any communications outside these walls. Every day we approach your birthday, she becomes more _obsessed_ with power. She is intent on hunting you down. On ensuring her throne,” Raegon said in a serious tone.

She could hear the urgency in his voice, and the worry. “Do not fear, bro. Nia will never get to the throne. You didn’t truly believe I wouldn’t come back to you, did you?”

The phone remained silent for a few moments and Lexa was disheartened, “Raegon, you are my brother and there has not been a day that I don’t think of you and pray to the Gods for your well-being. There has not been a day that I have not been planning my return to Polaris. And to you.”

Finally, Raegon replied with a warm voice, “I think of you too, sister. And I think of Ida. And Nomon and Nontu.”

“I’m sorry you had to grow up without us. I asked Nia to take you with me, but she refused,” Lexa said.

“I know.” Lexa twiddled with the cords of the phone, knowing they did not have much more time. “I just needed to talk to you, needed to be reassured you _were_ coming back for Polaris.”

“There is not a chance in hell I am letting Nia take Nontu’s legacy. In a few months, when you are out of the palace and safe, I will take her down. She will pay for what she has done to you, and … to Ida.”

The line was silent once more, before Raegon asked, “I suspect that I will not be around long enough to see that justice repaid.”

Lexa’s heart stopped and her blood boiled with anger, “What?!”

“I overheard Nia talking the other day. She is going to force the government to see your disappearance as legitimate before your birthday. And then after my abdication, Nia said that she will kill me in my sleep,” Raegon said sternly, with no hint of worry for himself in his tone.

 _A Trigeda through and through,_ Lexa thought.

Lexa raked her brain for a solution, but her mind was clouded in rage. She was furious that Nia was betraying their deal. That after six years of obeying her orders, she was still going to kill Raegon. 

“Yur gonplei ste nou odon,” Lexa whispered into the phone. “I can get you out of Polaris.”

“I can’t leave,” Raegon stated bluntly.

Lexa growled into the phone, “Sha, you can. You are leaving, right now. I will call -”

“My girlfriend has been threatened, Dria. One wrong move and she’s dead. Nia expected me to run long ago, but now she has leverage. I can’t let her die at my hands.”

Lexa breathe out heavily, her brother was far too young for a girlfriend but she also was not going to let an innocent suffer because of her.

“I’m coming to Polaris. To hell with timing. You will not die,” Lexa insisted with an angry voice. Indra had not yet gathered the evidence that would put Nia behind bars, and without being twenty-one Nia would still legally be her Royal guardian, but there was no way she was going to let her brother die.

“You cannot. Not before your birthday. I need to go, Dria. Nia expects me,” Raegon said, without acknowledging the last of Lexa’s words.

“Raegon -”

“Ai hod yu in, leidon,” Raegon said before the line cut. Cold rage filed Lexa’s body and her eyes saw red. Slamming the phone onto the hook and punching the side of the payphone, Lexa barely noticed the shattering of the glass. Anya and Lincoln, however, had.

“Oh my god, Lexa!” Anya yelled, grabbing her. Lexa could not control her rage. Everything she had done to keep her brother safe was _for nothing_. Everything she had given up was _for nothing._

Lincoln steadied Lexa, and observed her hands. They were littered with cuts that were bleeding heavily. When Lexa finally looked at the payphone, she also noticed the few people who had seen the encounter who were now staring with wide, questioning eyes.

“Anya, these cuts are quite deep,” Lincoln said as Lexa relaxed in his arms.

“Good thing we know a doctor. Sort of.”

*

**Clarke**

Clarke and Octavia were playing Cards Against Humanity when Anya and Lincoln slammed open her door without so much as knocking.

“What the hell?!” Clarke yelled, before she saw _her._

Against Lincoln’s arms was a blank faced Lexa, with cuts all over her hands. Rushing over to her, Anya asked Clarke where her medical supplies were.

Clarke pointed to the cabinet above the fridge before helping Lincoln lower Lexa onto the lounge. She pushed Lexa’s brown hair behind her ears and looked into her eyes.

“What happened?” she asked. Lexa looked back at her, and Clarke could not see any sign of emotion in her eyes.

“I can’t tell you,” Lexa stated calmly. _Too_ calmly for someone with bruising knuckles and cuts everywhere. But as Clarke continued to stare at her, Lexa began to ease up letting the anger and sadness within become apparent to the blonde.

Anya handed her the kit and Clarke straight away cleaned off Lexa’s hands, rubbing the ointment soothingly onto her knuckles. Lexa did not flinch once, she just stared at Clarke with soft, affectionate eyes.

When she was finished bandaging Lexa’s swelling hands, Clarke turned to Anya and Lincoln and demanded to know what had happened.

Anya looked at Lexa before answering, “It doesn’t matter. Let it go, Clarke.”

“You bring Lexa here, with bruised knuckles and cuts pretty much up her arm and then don’t even explain to me how it happened?” Clarke asked angrily.

Lexa looked up at Clarke and said, “I’m fine, Clarke.”

“That’s bullshit Lexa, you looked like you wanted to kick someone off a building when you walked in her. What is going on?!” Clarke demanded.

Lincoln moved to Clarke and said, “Can we speak of this later, Clarke?”

“Clarke,” Lexa said in a small voice. Turning back to the girl, Clarke didn’t know what to do. She wanted answers, but seeing Lexa look so defeated made her back down. Reaching over to touch Lexa’s shoulder, Clarke was pleasantly surprised when Lexa pulled the blonde in for a tight embrace instead.

Returning the embrace, Clarke heard Lexa whisper into her ear, “Everything is falling apart.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #clexaembrace #hedalexa #allthefeels
> 
> ANYWAYS hope you liked that bit of clarke backstory, and the raegon interaction (raegon is my son so please be nice to him) 
> 
> up next: indra finds out about the call, lexa and clarke hang and clarke has her meeting with the gallery owner
> 
> thoughts: trigedaslengslut on tumblr - also i posted a picture of lexa's family tree on the link to this chapter, just in case anyone was curious about the bloodline (trigeda is the royal line)


	6. six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke gets some big news and Lexa is a jealous little brat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayooo how fuckin problematic and triggering was the flopdred today? love yall here is a blessed new update x

**Clarke**

In the days that followed Lexa’s ‘accident’ Clarke found herself growing even more attached to the girl. Lexa came over regularly, usually to play drinking games with Raven, Clarke and occassionally Anya. But sometimes she just came over to read while Clarke painted and drew for her portfolio. Clarke found Lexa’s presence motivating, and often Clarke got half way through a sketch just to realise that she had once again been outling Lexa’s eyes or Lexa’s lips.

Raven had confronted her multiple times about the blonde’s ever-growing crush, but Clarke insisted that nothing was going on – that they were friends. Of course, Clarke wanted more. At first, it was Lexa’s beauty that attracted the blonde but now it was more. Clarke was enchanted by the many layers of Lexa’s personality.

Sometimes, Clarke thought Lexa was hiding parts of herself away. Like there were some things that Lexa desperately didn’t want Clarke to know. It was frustrating for Clarke. Lexa was like a giant puzzle that Clarke had half completed.

Parking her car at the gallery, Clarke smiled at the text she received from Lexa.

**Woodsay: Good luck today, Clarke. They would be fools not to showcase your work x**

Today was the day of her big meeting with the gallery owners, and whilst Clarke was confident in the diversity and quality of her work, she was still incredibly nervous.

**HippoGriff: Thanks boo x**

After hitting send, Clarke almost slapped herself in the face. _Boo?_ What was she thinking? Gathering her folio and flattening out her maroon dress, Clarke walked carefully inside the gallery. Immediately she saw the owner, Hugo, waiting for her at the front desk with a large smile on his face.

“Hello, I’m Clarke. I’m here for the showcase meeting?” Clarke greeted politely, holding her free hand out to him.

He took her hand and replied, “I’ve been very excited to see your folio, Clarke. Word of your art has been spreading around TonDC.”

Raising her eyebrows, Clarke was surprised people had been talking about her work. She hadn’t heard anything herself.

“Come on, through,” Hugo said gesturing through to a small studio room at the back of the gallery.

*

An hour and a half later, Clarke had presented her folio to Hugo and his associates, and was anxiously waiting outside the gallery whilst they deliberated.

**BaeRae: Ur gonna be fine u twit. And if they don’t pick u I will hunt them down.**

**Clock: You’re crazy.**

**BaeRae: and Ur gonna get this showcase.**

Raven’s texts had been a comfort to her while she waited, but Clarke would have preferred to have gotten a text from Lexa instead. The girl had been radio silent ever since Clarke had called her ‘boo’.

Clarke was biting on her nails when Hugo appeared in the doorway with a sad look on his face. Preparing herself for yet another rejection, Clarke breathed in heavily and hung her head.

“Congratulations Clarke! You got the showcase!” Hugo said suddenly, his face turning up.

Clarke opened her mouth and her heart rate dropped considerably. _She got the showcase._ Her mind was racing and Clarke’s body froze. When Hugo’s smile faltered a bit Clarke realised she had said nothing for several moments.

Shaking herself out of her shock, Clarke reached her hand forward and said, “Sorry! I just had to register what you said, thank you so much!”

“It was our pleasure. The showcase will be in about a month, so you will have access to the studio whenever you need to prepare. I will give you more details soon,” Hugo explained.

Clarke nodded eagerly, reaching out and grabbing her folio from Hugo’s offering hands. “Thank you again for this opportunity!”

Hugo nodded and after hushed goodbyes Clarke walked back outside the gallery with a huge smile spreading across her face. She was too busy fist pumping into the air that Clarke failed to see a familiar figure approaching her.

“Congratulations, Clarke,” Lexa said. Clarke’s head suddenly snapped up and saw the girl not two feet in front of her.

Feeling a heavy blush rise to her face, Clarke dropped her fist and half-yelled in surprise, “Lexa?!”

“I wanted to surprise you,” Lexa said, pulling out a small arrangement of flowers from behind her back.

Clarke smiled at the girl’s gesture, no one had ever bought her flowers before. Reaching out and grabbing the flowers with her free hand, Clarke looked back up at the girl who was standing there nervously.

“Thank you, Lexa. I love them,” Clarke thanked the brunette, who was now looking at Clarke with a slight smile. “How did you know I was going to get it?”

“Because you’re an amazing artist and they would be stupid not to showcase your talent,” Lexa responded honestly.

Clarke’s heart swelled and her stomach fluttered at Lexa’s kind words. Reaching out she embraced the girl, almost dropping her folio as she went. Lexa returned her embrace, although rather stiffly.

“Did you walk here? Do you need a lift back?” Clarke asked.

“No I have some errands to run,” Lexa replied. Clarke felt slightly disheartened but nodded her head, thankful Lexa even took the time to surprise her like this.

“Come over tonight? I’ll get the gang together for celebratory drinks,” Clarke offered.

“Who is the _gang_?” Lexa asked cautiously.

Clarke laughed slightly at Lexa’s uneasiness, “Just Rae, Anya, Linc, O and Bellamy. You know Octavia’s brother? He lives in the same apartment building as us.”

“I know who he is,” Lexa said rather harshly. “I will be there. See you tonight, Clarke.”

Clarke was a bit surprised by Lexa’s sudden coldness, but as Lexa walked away Clarke’s worries disappeared when the brunette turned back to flash Clarke her signature small smile.

*

**Lexa**

After grocery shopping and picking up a new series of books to read, Lexa opened the door to her apartment and strolled in. Dispatching her purchases on the kitchen bench, Lexa saw that her bedroom door was slightly ajar. Immediately, she edged towards the gun in her draw. She always left her bedroom door shut – someone was in the apartment.

Silently opening the draw and grabbing the gun, Lexa flicked the safety off and tip-toed towards the room.

Kicking open the door, Lexa stood in the doorframe with her legs spread and gun aimed at the intruder.

“Indra?!” Lexa yelled as she lowered the gun in surprise. “You almost gave me a damn heart attack!”

Indra did not reply. Lexa walked over to her and saw that the older woman was staring at a picture of Lexa and herself intently. Indra had made it clear to hide all photos of her true family for her own protection, but Lexa could tell Indra didn’t expect Lexa to keep a photo of them from ten years ago on display.

“That was the day of father’s ascension,” Lexa remarked, staring at the elegant dresses they wore in the photos. Lexa bore a small tiara and Indra a sparkly diamond necklace – both gifts from Orin on his ascension.

“I remember,” Indra said stiffly. “It is not safe to have a photo with you wearing a tiara in your apartment Lexa.”

Lexa rolled her eyes and said, “Indra I could easily say it was simply a fancy dress ball. Don’t worry.”

Indra turned to face Lexa and narrowed her eyes at the girl, “It is hard not to worry when you constantly give me reasons to.”

Raising her eyebrows, Lexa opened her mouth to ask what Indra was talking about, when she remembered the call with Raegon.

“You know,” Lexa said with finality.

Indra nodded, “How could you do that, Prisa? You risked both yourself and the Hainofa’s safety, and for what? For a five minute conversation that could’ve been had in ten months’ time?”

 Lexa scowled at Indra’s harsh words. It was foolish to instantly trust that it was Raegon who sent the message, and it was also foolish to even answer the phone. If Nia found out about the conversation, Lexa suspected her plans to be rid of Raegon would go into effect even sooner.

“I know, Indra. But I’m glad I did answer,” Lexa said confidently. Indra raised her eyebrows and Lexa continued, “What Raegon told me was something that couldn’t wait until my birthday.”

After filling Indra in on the conversation, she watched as the older woman’s eyes went wide and worried. Indra had always kept tabs on Raegon after her banishment from Polaris, which was likely how she found out about the conversation in the first place, but she had never been able to actively watch over him like she had for Lexa.

“Is there … is there any possible way I can get to Polaris sooner than July?” Lexa questioned.

Indra looked hard at her for a few moments before responding, “I don’t know, Prisa. The case files only got released to me two months ago, Gustus and I do not yet have the proof we need to send Nia behind bars.”

Lexa nodded solemnly, expecting this response. “And then there is also the issue of your age. Even if we do manage to get Nia out of the picture, you are not old enough to be crowned.”

“Uncle Niklaus will act as regent. From what I remember, he is a kind hearted man. He would not stop my ascension,” Lexa argued.

Indra stared at Lexa before concluding, “I will try, Alexandria. I cannot promise anything.”

Nodding Lexa smiled slightly at the woman. Indra did not return the smile and simply got up to leave.

“I must be going. I will be in contact,” Indra said before leaving Lexa’s apartment.

Laying back on her bed, Lexa shut her eyes. The call with Raegon had been on her mind constantly since Tuesday. Though she’d calmed down considerably, Lexa was still furious that she had given up being a part of her brother’s life for nothing. That at the end of this there was a high possibility that both she and Raegon would be dead.

Sliding down to her floor, Lexa pulled up the loose piece of board and dragged out the large wooden box hidden beneath. Opening it, Lexa gently picked up a photo and stared at it longingly. Tracing her fingers over her nontu and nomon’s faces, Lexa’s stomach twisted. She wondered what she would be doing right now if they’d never gotten in the car that day.

Lexa figured she’d probably be studying foreign relations or something business-y like that. She would be watching Ida prepare for her ascension, and helping Raegon talk to pretty girls (and talking to them herself). Orin and Alina would likely be celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary in the coming months and making plans for a huge Polaris-wide party.

Lexa smiled at the thoughts, but also felt her heart clench in what could have been. Feeling a tear escape her eyes, she put down the picture of her parents and picked up one of her siblings and herself outside of the palace in which they’d grown up.

Ida was standing regally, like a true princess, whilst Lexa had a four year old Raegon clinging off her back. Lexa couldn’t help but laugh at how the picture perfectly represented the sibling’s personalities.

Lexa with her stern but silly face, Ida with her head high and Raegon laughing wildly. Holding the picture to her heart, Lexa felt every emotion she’d been suppressing sweep over her in an instant.

“Lexa?” Clarke called out from the lounge room. Lexa jumped at her voice and wiped at her face, before Clarke could see the stray tears. She hurriedly tried to pack away everything before the girl came in the room. But unfortunately Clarke was two steps ahead of her and in her room before Lexa could slide the picture of herself and her siblings into the box.

“Who’s that?” Clarke questioned at the half-concealed picture in Lexa’s hand.

“No one,” Lexa spat.

Clarke raised her eyebrows at Lexa’s tone, “Come on, let me see.”

Lexa gripped the photo tight, unsure as to whether she should let the girl see. It didn’t give away too much, and Lexa could easily blame say that the backdrop of the palace is from a family trip to Polaris.

Tentatively gesturing for Clarke to sit on the bed, Lexa sat down next to her and handed her the photo. She watched as Clarke examined the picture with a curious look on her face.

“Is this you?” she asked Lexa, pointing at the smaller version of herself in the photo.

Lexa nodded and then pointed to Ida, “This is my sister, Ida. And my brother.”

“You have a brother?” Clarke asked with wide eyes. “Your sister is very beautiful.”

“Was,” Lexa stated sadly.

Clarke looked at the girl remorsefully, but questioned, “What’s your brother’s name?”

“It does not matter.”

She knew Clarke wanted more answers, but was glad when she didn’t press her. Clarke studied the photograph, tracing her fingers along the figures. Carefully, Lexa reached out and grabbed the picture back.

“Did you want me to come over now?” Lexa asked. “Or was there another reason why you came?”

Packing the photo into the box, concealing the rest of the contents from Clarke’s vision. Lexa lifted the board and slid the box back under, not really concerning herself with the fact that Clarke now knew her secret hiding place. Or at least one of them.

She trusted Clarke, and knew the blonde would never invade her personal space.

“Well half of us are already over, so yeah I was just coming to collect you and meet Bell in the hall,” Clarke responded with a cheery smile. Lexa was glad to see Clarke so happy with getting the showcase. She knew from her visits that Clarke was particularly nervous about scoring the gallery. Something about proving her mother wrong.

“I’ll just get dressed,” Lexa said moving to her closest and dragging out ripped black jeans and a tight green wrap top. Taking off her shirt, Lexa realised Clarke was still in the room. “Clarke?”

It took the girl a few moments to register Lexa’s call as her blue eyes were trained on Lexa’s bare but for her bra strap back.

“Oh right, sorry yes I will leave. Well I won’t leave I’m just going to wait in the lounge and wait for you to come out -” Clarke began rambling before Lexa interjected.

“Clarke.”

Giving Lexa a nod, Clarke scurried out of the room and Lexa again found herself amused at the blonde’s antics. Once dressed, Lexa stalked out of her room and tapped Clarke on the shoulder.

“Come on,” Lexa said leading the way out.

They were barely out of Lexa’s apartment when the boy – Bellamy – came out of the elevator.

“Griff!” he yelled to gain Clarke’s attention. Clarke turned to him and waved before grabbing Lexa’s hand and half dragging her into Clarke’s apartment.

Once inside, Lexa was confronted by the ‘gang’ as Clarke put it. Lincoln and Octavia were snuggled up on the couch looking disgustingly sweet. Raven and Anya were arguing about something and Clarke was already making her way over to the alcohol.

“Lex! Do you want a drink?” the blonde yelled from the fridge.

*

At 10pm, Lexa realised that she may have had too many beverages. Not as many as a dancing Clarke or a half-passed out Raven, but too many to be sober. Bellamy it seems, actually handled his drinks and was sitting down with Octavia and Lincoln, chatting animatedly.

But Lexa couldn’t take her eyes off Clarke, who was currently bopping her hands up and down to the beat.

“Lex,” Anya nudged from beside her. Lexa turned to her cousin and raised her eyebrows in question. “Your heart eyes are showing.”

Lexa rolled her eyes and slumped back further into the lounge, trying to stop herself from going near Clarke. Lexa had been told that at the engagement party, she had been pretty outgoing in regards to the blonde. It seemed that whenever she was drunk Lexa felt even more of a pull towards the girl.

“Go and dance with her,” Anya encouraged slyly, all too aware that with enough push Lexa would get up and do just that. “You know you wanna.”

“Shut up Anya. I just wanna sit here and chill out,” Lexa slurred slightly.

Anya slumped back with Lexa and said, “Well you better make your move before Bellamy makes his.”

Lexa whipped her head back to Clarke, seeing that Bellamy was no longer sitting with his sister and Lincoln, but was instead dancing next to Clarke. He was leaning into her ear, and Clarke was smiling with her head down.

Fresh jealousy swept through Lexa’s body, but she was determined not to move. She wouldn’t embarrass herself again.

“They are friends, Anya,” Lexa said.

“Are they?” Anya niggled. Lexa knew what her cousin was doing, and little by little Lexa felt her resolve to stay away disappearing. “Go on. A little dance wouldn’t hurt.”

As she watched Clarke whisper back into Bellamy’s ear, Lexa shot up from the lounge. Grabbing the can of alcohol on the table Lexa downed it in one breath, hoping the liquid courage would help her. Lexa stalked into the centre of the lounge room, she wanted Clarke to notice _her_ and not Bellamy.

Catching Clarke’s eye, Lexa saw the blonde smile brightly and walk over to her. Lexa started dancing, the movements fluid but sultry. Running a hand through her hair and moving her hips, Lexa concentrated on the music rather than the buzz she felt. She didn’t want to be sloppy, even in her intoxicated state.

She felt Clarke come up beside her and say, “You’re a really good dancer, Lex.”

Lexa dropped her hands and put one on Clarke’s hip before saying, “I can teach you if you want.”

Clarke nodded cautiously and Lexa moved behind the girl, putting her other hand on Clarke’s left hip. She began moving the hips left to right slowly, careful not to put her front against Clarke’s back.

“Move your hips with the beat, the rest of your body should follow,” Lexa purred into her ear.

After a few beats, Clarke began swaying her hips with the beat on her own and Lexa removed her hands. Almost instantly Clarke grabbed the girl’s hands and placed them back on her hips, before turning to face Lexa.

Lexa was surprised by Clarke’s boldness, but rolled with it. Moving her own hips in time with Clarke’s, Lexa moved her front to touch Clarke’s. The sudden contact with the girl heated Lexa’s lower abdomen, and when Clarke began grinding into her, Lexa couldn’t believe what was happening.

Before she could stop herself, Lexa glided her fingers into Clarke’s blonde hair. This action only made Clarke move faster and harder against Lexa’s hips and Lexa had to physically hold back a moan. It had been so long since she had been this close to someone.

After two songs of obvious grinding, they were finally interrupted by Octavia yelling from the lounge, “Get a room!”

Lexa’s eyes snapped from Clarke’s body to the brunette girl and she narrowed her eyes. Clarke removed her body from Lexa’s and she could already feel the loss of contact. Lexa moved across the room, the moment clearly gone. She was astounded by what had transpired between the two girls. She had only wanted Clarke to give her attention and not Bellamy. Lexa definitely did not expect Clarke to do _that._

Soon enough she heard footsteps coming over to her, and looking up she saw Clarke standing there with a cheeky smile across her face.

“Wanna go on an adventure?” she asked.

*

**Clarke**

When they were in the lobby of their building, Clarke was pulled aside by Lexa.

“What?” Clarke asked.

“Neither of us can drive Clarke!” Lexa said, as if she thought Clarke was actually stupid enough to suggest going somewhere that they would have to drive to.

“Trust me?”

Lexa looked at the blonde warily before nodding. Clarke smiled and grabbed her hand rushing her out of the building. Thirty minutes and one spew session from Clarke later and the two girls were sitting at the top of a mountain overlooking TonDC.

Clarke plopped herself down on the ground and smiled when Lexa joined her. This was her favourite place to go. It even beat morning walks by the ocean. Clarke loved looking up at the stars and then turning over to look over the city she loved so dearly.

“Aren’t the stars just beautiful?” Clarke asked with her head up at the sky.

When Lexa didn’t reply, Clarke turned to look at the girl only to find that she was already looking at her. Clarke smiled at the girl, and Lexa turned her head to stare at the sky.

“When I was little, my mother told me that each star is a soul,” Lexa began. “And when I lost her, I always found myself looking up, trying to guess which one was hers.”

Clarke’s heart swelled at Lexa’s story, at the way Lexa spoke so beautifully about her mother.

Pointing up at them, Clarke asked, “Do you think my dad is up there among them?”

Clarke felt Lexa grab her hands, and Clarke squeezed them tightly. Thinking about her dad made her sad on a normal day, when she was drunk it just made the pain even worse.

“I know he is, Klark,” Lexa said, speaking Clarke’s name in an accent Clarke assumed to be Polarian. “I’m glad you bought me here.”

Clarke smiled and said, “I’m glad I bought you here too.”

“The open sky reminds me of home,” Lexa whispered slowly, looking again up at the stars.

Clarke quirked her brow and asked, “Where is home, Lexa?”

She heard Lexa suck in a deep, shaky breath before saying, “Polaris.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Polarian/Trigedasleng:   
> Prisa - Princess  
> Hainofa - Prince
> 
> omg lexa don't spill ya secrets just yet. clarke is a smol bean and im actually going to give her the happiness she fuckin deserves. 
> 
> up next: lincoln and lexa talk about feelings n stuff, ranya fight and clexa have to pick a side :((
> 
> thoughts? - trigedaslengslut


	7. seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa angst, and that's about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyone who hates lincoln can fight me lmao hes a precious gem

**Lexa**

“Polaris.”

Lexa didn’t realise what she’d said before it was already out of her mouth.

“You’re from Polaris?” Clarke asked. “How come you’ve never said anything?”

Her heart was beating fast, and Lexa could feel bile coming up. Turning away from Clarke, Lexa stood up abruptly and ran to a nearby bush. Emptying her stomach into the leaves, she felt Clarke come up behind her. The girl pulled back her hair and rubbed Lexa’s back.

After she was done, Lexa muttered, “Thanks.”

“Anytime,” Clarke said with a smile.

Lexa couldn’t look at the blonde without feeling her stomach churn. She _wanted_ to just tell Clarke everything. To let her in completely. But she just couldn’t. She couldn’t risk that one day Nia might find out about Clarke and use her against Lexa, as she had done with Raegon’s girl. Lexa trusted Clarke almost entirely, but she couldn’t risk that one day – if the fight was big enough – Clarke might hate Lexa enough to announce her secret to the world.

“Lexa?” Clarke asked, reaching out to touch the brunette.

Lexa pulled her hand away from Clarke like she was poison. “We should go.”

*

Lexa was quite possibly the worst person in the entire world. For a week she’d ignored Clarke’s texts and calls. She even ignored Clarke’s soft knocking on her door. Lexa felt horrible, it wasn’t Clarke’s fault that Lexa had gotten too attached. It wasn’t Clarke’s fault Lexa got drunk and almost let slip that _she_ was the Lost Princess of Polaris.

But nevertheless, Clarke was the one who suffered for it. On Wednesday night Anya stormed into Lexa’s apartment and went on a rage about how sad Clarke was and how Lexa had to pull her head in.

_“Are you even sorry? Do you even care that Clarke is hurting?” Anya screamed._

_Lexa stepped forward towards the girl, no one was going to speak to her like that. Not even if it was warranted._

_“Of course I care,” Lexa snarled. “But she got too close. I was one second away from telling her everything, Anya.”_

_Anya stepped in closer, clearly not scared of Lexa in the slightest. “Stop using your secret as an excuse, Lexa. You’re avoiding her because you have feelings for her. You’re running away from a good thing because you’re too scared of getting hurt.”_

_Lexa was seething, how_ dare _Anya speak to her like this. “You’re wrong.”_

_“No. I’m not,” Anya said. “You’re scared of letting her in because you think once she knows the truth she’ll use it against you. You don’t want anyone having that kind of hold over you.”_

_Lexa bared her teeth and growled, “Get. Out.”_

She hadn’t spoken to Anya since, but Lincoln had come over earlier that night to watch Bear Grylls. Lexa knew Lincoln wanted to talk about it. But she had avoided the topic completely.

In the ads, Lincoln would open his mouth and Lexa would open her phone and scroll through Twitter. On the second ad, Lexa noticed Clarke had posted something earlier that day and felt her heart drop a little.

**@ClarkeGriff: What does an artist paint without her muse?**

“Clarke doesn’t deserve this silence, Lexa,” Lincoln finally said after noticing Lexa’s fixated stare on the tweet.

Lexa nodded in agreement, “She doesn’t. But it’s for the best.”

“Is it?” Lincoln asked with his eyebrows raised. “It seemed to be going so well. I heard you even brought flowers for her.”

Lexa smiled slightly at the memory. “I did.”

“Then why are you going to let this little slip get between you?”

Lexa scoffed and slumped back into her couch, “It was hardly a _little slip_ , Lincoln. I’ve told her too much already, and I’m worried.”

Lincoln widened his eyes urging her to elaborate. “I’m worried that eventually, if she does ask questions I’m not going to want to lie to her.”

Lexa turned her head away. She _despised_ talking about her feelings. Even with her cousins.

“You feel for her as more than a friend, don’t you?” Lincoln asked quietly.

Throwing her hands up in the air, Lexa exasperated, “I don’t know what I feel, Lincoln!”

“Feelings aren’t weakness, Lexa,” Lincoln stated bluntly. “It’s okay to admit to them.”

“Who cares about my feelings though? It’s not like I can act on them,” Lexa admitted.

Lincoln shook his head, “And why not?”

“Because Raegon’s life depends on me returning to Polis. His life depends on Nia never finding out where I am and what I’m planning,” Lexa explained.

Lincoln was silent for several moments before stating, “You can have both of them, Lexa. It isn’t one or the other.”

“Maybe not, but I won’t put another person in danger, Lincoln. On top of everything else, Clarke would become leverage. If Nia -”

“Stop thinking about if, Lexa. Stop thinking about the maybes. Clarke isn’t asking for a proposal, she’s asking for you to stop ignoring her,” Lincoln interjected, his voice harsher than Lexa had ever heard.

Lexa raised her eyebrows at his words, not really sure what to say to her cousin. He turned his attention back to the television and Lexa followed suit. After fifteen long minutes, Lexa finally turned to face Lincoln.

“I just can’t stop thinking about the danger I may put her in, if we were to… were to become more than just friends,” Lexa admitted with sad eyes.

“What is life without risk?” Lincoln challenged.

Lexa slapped her hand on her forehead, “I feel as if I am about to make a huge mistake.”

Although she still had her worries, Lincoln’s words made Lexa think about the pros rather than the cons. What if things did work out and she let a girl like Clarke walk away because she let her fears keep her at bay? What if she could be happy with Clarke? Did she even deserve to be happy?

“How are you going to fix things?” Lincoln asked with a smile.

Lexa closed her eyes and said, “God I don’t know Lincoln! I fucked up. She probably hates my guts.”

“I can assure you that girl does not hate your guts. I’d start with an apology, and then …”

Opening one eye Lexa questioned, “And then?”

“And then maybe ask her on a date.”

“Do you think she will say yes?” Lexa asked nervously. She’d sat upright and was fidgeting around with her fingers as Lincoln took his time to reply.

“Only one way to find out,” he finally said.

Half an hour and three shoves out the door later and Lexa was heading across the hall to Clarke’s apartment. She was possibly the most nervous she’d ever been in her whole life. Which was saying something considering in Polaris she’d often addressed the nation.

Lexa had taken two steps before a figure emerged from the elevator, scaring Lexa half to death.

“Hey Lexa, how’s it going?” Bellamy asked, walking over to Clarke’s door.

“I’m well. Thank you,” Lexa said stiffly. She watched as Bellamy knocked on Clarke’s door, and Lexa filled with panic. Turning swiftly on her heels she was almost at her door when for some stupid reason Lexa decided to turn back.

Clarke had opened the door and Lexa looked on as the blonde reached up and kissed Bellamy hard on the cheek. Lexa felt her heart drop.

She was too late.

Clarke and Bellamy were clearly more than friends. Which was half-surprising to Lexa because she thought they had zero chemistry. It was all her fault and all Lexa could do was stare as Clarke hugged the boy.

Lexa opened her door harshly, feeling like she may faint, when she heard a voice call meekly, “Lexa?”

Sucking in a deep breath, Lexa turned to face the blonde and said softly, “Clarke.”

Bellamy nodded at Lexa before disappearing into Clarke’s apartment. Lexa tried to step into her own, but Clarke’s piercing blue eyes stopped her in her tracks.

“Are we … okay?” Clarke asked gently. Lexa could feel the shakiness of her voice and it broke her down even more.

Lexa nodded from across the hall and said, “Yes.”

“It doesn’t feel like it,” Clarke state as she walked closer to Lexa.

Lexa shut her eyes sharply before saying, “I can’t do this. I’m sorry, Clarke.”

*

**Clarke**

Radio silence. That’s how she’d describe Lexa’s avoidance of her. Clarke had texted her, called her and even – at desperate times – crossed the hall and knocked on the girl’s door. But Lexa hadn’t replied, hadn’t answered and ignored her knocks.

Clarke felt dejected and confused. Each time they took one step forward in their shaky friendship, Lexa took three steps back.

With Lexa’s sudden disappearance from her daily life, Clarke lost all motivation to paint. Which was a significant worry because her showcase was now three weeks away and she hadn’t even started preparing her major works. But Clarke just couldn’t even touch her paints. She was a moping, whining mess. And it was all her fault.

Clarke had pushed Lexa, further and further each time they hang out for more information. She wanted to know her, but Lexa clearly didn’t want the same.

Clarke knew Anya had said words to her, but judging by the look on her face when she returned to her and Raven’s apartment, it hadn’t gone well. Clarke couldn’t bring herself to ask. Did Lexa hate her that much?

**GrandpaBlake: Still on for tonight Griff?**

**SmittenGriffin: As long as you’re prepared for sulky Clarke.** **J**

**GrandpaBlake: Sulky Clarke won’t be sulky when we order pizza.**

**SmittenGriffin: You know me so well.**

Smiling, Clarke was glad that Raven decided to spend the night at Anya’s. It meant she could talk to Bellamy and get a fresh perspective on what the hell to do about Lexa. After about five minutes she heard Bellamy knock and practically sprinted to open the door.

Greeting him with a sloppy kiss on the cheek, just because she knew how much hated it, Clarke turned her head to see a sulking Lexa in the middle of the hallway staring at her and Bellamy.

She felt like the breath had gone out of her when she whispered, “Lexa?”

“Clarke,” came the sad reply.

Bellamy basically ran into Clarke’s apartment and Clarke just stood there staring at Lexa. A week without so much as a glimpse felt like a long time when you usually speak to the person every day. After a while Clarke couldn’t take it any longer.

“Are we… okay?” she asked meekly.

Lexa was silent for a bit before answering, “Yes.”

Clarke was surprised at her answer and immediately retorted, “It doesn’t feel like it.”

Again Lexa was quiet. It was like she wanted to say so much, but couldn’t get the words out. But then Lexa suddenly choked up and said, “I can’t do this. I’m sorry, Clarke.”

When she went into her apartment and slammed the door behind her, Clarke stood still for a full three minutes. At first she felt sad for the girl but then Clarke got angry.

How dare she act like such a _child?_ Were they 17 and having a fight over clothes? No, they were supposed to be adults who face their problems and don’t just run away at the first sign of trouble.

Storming into her own apartment Clarke was positively pissed off. Bellamy looked slightly surprised by her stature, but was on the phone to the pizza place so couldn’t ask what happened. When he got off the phone, Clarke let fly.

“She’s just being so petty! At first I blamed myself, maybe I pushed her too far. Maybe she’s just really private. Maybe I should stop being so nosey. But now, _now_ I see the light! She’s being completely irrational and immature. If she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore she could at least have the _guts_ to get her really nice ass over here and tell me to my face!” Clarke exclaimed to a tight lipped Bellamy.

“Clarke, I think Lexa _was_ coming over here to talk to you. She was walking to your door when I caught her in the hallway,” Bellamy explained. “Maybe go by and see -”

“Abso-lutely not! I’m done. D-o-n-e.”

*

An hour and two devoured pizzas later, Clarke was feeling slightly better.

“Bell, selfie time let’s go,” Clarke demanded.

Bellamy rolled his eyes and said, “Do we _have_ to, Clarke?”

“Yes now get your ass here.”

Putting an arm around Bellamy and slightly sticking her tongue out, Clarke took the picture and then posted it to Twitter.

**@ClarkeGriff: Just some of my favourite things – Pizza and @BellBlake.**

After posting the picture, she almost immediately got a notification.

**@LexWoods favorited your picture!**

Feeling her stomach drop, she couldn’t understand how Lexa could ignore her for days and then come back and like a tweet.

“Clarke did you see this?” Bellamy asked showing Clarke his phone. It was a new tweet from Lexa that Clarke hadn’t seen. It was a picture of a quote that read “ _it’s kind of stupid ‘cause I get so jealous when I think of anyone else having you, but I don’t even have you myself,’_ and Clarke’s anger only amplified when she saw what Lexa wrote to accompany the post.

**@LexWoods: #relatable**

“Relatable? Is this about me?” Clarke asked Bellamy angrily.

Bellamy shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know, why don’t you go talk to -”

Clarke cut him off and exclaimed, “That is _enough._ I’m going to speak to her.”

One slammed door later and Clarke was banging on Lexa’s door with a ferocity that sneaked up on Clarke.

Lexa didn’t answer, but Clarke kept hounding the door. Eventually she just yelled, “I know you’re in there, Lexa. And you’re gonna come out and talk to me right now!”

There was silence for a few moments before Lexa opened the door slightly.

“Go away, Clarke,” she spat at the girl.

Clarke couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “No, I’m not going away. You can’t just ignore me for a week and then say ‘I can’t do this’ and then post that shitty quote on Twitter that was sooo aimed at me.”  
Lexa looked guilty but mad all the same, and snarled, “How do you know it was aimed at you?”

“Well was it?” Clarke demanded. Lincoln appeared behind Lexa at this point, and tapped the girl on the shoulder.

“I’m just going to go, Lexa. See you, Clarke,” Lincoln said as he walked out, pushing open Lexa’s door and stepping around her.

*

**Lexa**

When she posted the quote, she had no idea that Clarke would come over and bang her door down. If she had known, Lexa probably would’ve just posted something silly about candles.

“We need to talk,” Clarke demanded, stepping her way into the apartment.

“I didn’t say you could come in, Clarke,” Lexa growled. “I don’t want you here.”

When Clarke turned to face the girl, and said, “Well according to your Twitter, Lexa, you _do_ want me.”

Lexa’s face paled and she moved closer to the girl. But Clarke stood her ground, not backing away to the taller girl. Instead Clarke moved in closer, making Lexa move backwards into the wall behind her.

“Go on, deny it. Say it wasn’t about me. Say you don’t care about me at all. We both know the truth,” Clarke spat.

“Nou, Klark,” Lexa said in her true accent. “Hod op!”

Lexa couldn’t control her tongue when she was angry, she couldn’t control her native language. And Lexa could see Clarke was surprised to hear it. Lexa pushed Clarke away from her and stormed across the room, putting as much distance between them as she could.

“I don’t even know why you care,” Lexa began. “You have Bellamy now.”

Watching Clarke’s face soften slightly Lexa was surprised by the words that followed, “Bell is my best friend. Nothing more. Nothing less.”

Lexa raise her brows in question, “But I saw you kiss him -”

“On the cheek because he hates it,” Clarke finished. Lexa felt so stupid. Like the largest fool on the earth.

She could tell Clarke could feel Lexa’s realisation too, as the girl made her way closer to Lexa.

“Bell said that you looked like you were coming over to talk to me. Were you?” Clarke asked, moving closer still.

Lexa looked away in shame, “Yes.”

“What did you want?” Clarke questioned further.

Lexa could feel her earlier wants returning as Clarke looked at her. But would Clarke still want her?

“Nothing.”

Clarke’s anger returned and the girl yelled, “I knew you held things back from me, Lexa. But I never thought you were a liar!”

Lexa looked into the girl’s eyes and said, “What I was going to say, doesn’t matter anymore! Nothing matters anymore.”

“That’s such bullshit Lexa! You’re just pushing me away again and I’m not going to let you,” Clarke replied harshly.

Lexa bit her lip as the girl edged closer to her, her resolve to be angry and jealous slipping away. Suddenly Lexa grabbed the blonde and pushed her up against where she was just moments earlier. Leaning her head towards Clarke, Lexa could hear their heavy breathing and as she let her eyes drop to Clarke’s lips, she swore she saw Clarke do the same.

Picking up a stray piece of blonde hair and tucking it behind Clarke’s ear, Lexa looked back at the girl with a fire in her eyes. She was done pretending. She was done pushing her away. Lexa wanted Clarke. And by God was she going to get her.

“Lexa,” Clarke said softly. “Kiss me.”

It wasn’t a question, it was a demand and not one that Lexa could refuse. But she wanted it to be perfect. Loosening her grip on Clarke’s shoulders, Lexa pulled her closer and held her head gently between her slender fingers.

Lifting Clarke’s head to hers, their lips had just ghosted over each-others when Lexa’s door slammed open.

Jumping apart, Lexa’s heart rate was off the charts and she glared at the intruder.

“Raven?” Clarke asked, rushing over to the girl. Raven’s makeup was smudged with tears, but her face was glaring and ready to kill.

It likely mirrored Lexa’s face, because Lexa was furious that her and Clarke had been so rudely interrupted. She had been _so_ close to kissing the blonde.

“Why are you here, Raven?” Lexa snapped. Clarke shot her a glare and put a hand on Raven’s back.

“Didn’t mean to _disturb_ you,” Raven replied, just as snarkily. “Bell said you were here.”

“What’s going on?” Clarke asked gently, wiping at Raven’s face. Lexa’s heart swelled at how much Clarke cared for her friends, even when said friends interrupt first kisses and what not.

“It’s Anya. We had a fight. She said that I was flirting with the waitress, and I said I wasn’t and then everything just got let out. Every little argument we could think of came out of our mouths and I just -  I just need my best friend,” Raven explained, fury in her voice but tears in her eyes.

Lexa walked cautiously over to Raven, and said, “It will be fine, Raven. Expect a call from her at around 3pm tomorrow.”

Raven smiled meekly at Lexa, and Clarke shot her a small grin. Lexa returned the smile and was about to put a comforting hand on Raven’s shoulder when her phone started buzzing.

**_AnyaBananya is calling!_ **

“Is that her?” Raven demanded, looking darkly at Lexa.

Lexa nodded and answered the call.

“Anya?”

“Can you come over? Raven and I had a fight and I feel like drinking wine and crying,” Anya stated simply.

Lexa turned away from the girls in her apartment and said, “Yes. I’ll be over in fifteen.”

Clicking end on the call, she could see Raven staring daggers into her. Lexa threw her hands up, and Clarke nudged Raven.

“That’s her cousin, you can’t expect her to be -” Clarke started before Raven interjected.

“Whatever. I’ll be at home, drinking away my problems,” Raven stated before moving to the door.

Lexa looked at Clarke and when the blonde’s blue met hers, Lexa could feel the longing from across the room.

“Clarke! Are you coming!?”

The shout snapped Lexa and Clarke out of their gazes, and Clarke turned to Raven and shouted, “Be there in a minute, Rae!”

Raven disappeared out of the door and Clarke walked over to Lexa slowly, the tension between them growing with every step. When Clarke was finally in front of her, Lexa grabbed the girl’s hips drawing her closer.

Clarke leaned up towards her and Lexa was closing her eyes and leaning towards her face when Clarke moved sideways to kiss Lexa on the cheek.

“Goodnight, Lexa,” she whispered in her ear before wriggling out of the girl’s reach and moving towards the door.

“Reshop, Klark.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i bet u all hate me rn. v sorry. promise that a kiss is coming but will it be in 2 chapters or 5 or 7 or 203? who knows (i dont) but it's coming. 
> 
> also ranya will be fine don't fret, like literally no one is breaking up (permanently) in this fic i am not strong enough to handle that myself as the writer
> 
> thoughts? trigedaslengslut on tumblr


	8. eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clarke prepares for her showcase, ranya get an intervention and lexa buys clarke somethin' special

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I APPRECIATE YALL SO MUCH THE SUPPORT IM GETTING IS UNREAL!!!! 10K READS???? WHAT IS MY LIFE????

**Clarke**

It had been two weeks since her and Lexa’s very near kiss, and in that time they had managed to avoid the topic at least eight times. Clarke was sure Lexa wanted to talk about it, but to be blunt – the blonde just didn’t have the time. With a week until her showcase, and having to make up for the days she missed, Clarke had worked her ass off to catch up on designing her pieces. On top of that, she’d also had to get Anya to get some art buyers and enthusiasts to attend. Clarke had been surprised Anya accepted, considering her and Raven’s ever-growing tension, but she suspected Lexa had pressured her somewhat into calling her connections.

Clarke and Lexa had stayed in constant communication, through text and occasional late-night wine talks. Their texts and visits were slightly more flirtatious since the almost-kiss, despite having yet to speak about their true feelings towards one another. However, the visits had become fewer and fewer with Clarke spending most of her time in the art gallery’s studio, taking full advantage of the excellent lighting and free paint.

She was just unpacking her last canvas – which was to be the largest painting of them all – when the door to the studio opened slightly. Turning her head, Clarke’s face immediately brightened when she saw the surprise visitor.

“Thought you might want a lunch break?” beamed Lexa from the doorway, holding up a bag of Wendy’s and two sodas. Putting down the huge canvas, Clarke ushered the girl closer.

“You are the best. Thank you,” Clarke said gratefully taking the bag and patting the stool beside her. Lexa smiled again and took the seat, bringing her soda up to her lips.

Clarke started digging in, having not eaten for six hours, and Lexa’s eyes roamed the packed room. Half of Clarke’s paintings were ready to be showcased, with frames around them and price tags hanging down.

Lexa’s eyes caught on one of them and her mouth opened slightly, “Is that me?”

Nodding, Clarke swallowed her food and stared at the painting. It was an abstract portrait, so the details of Lexa’s face and body were muddled, but the soft brown curls and bright green eyes were clear as day. The painting resembled the moment when Lexa walked away from Clarke, but turned back to flash her a small smile.

Lexa smiled the largest Clarke had ever seen and her eyes searched the rest of the room. Clarke noticed Lexa’s sharp intake of breath when she looked over the landscape painting of TonDC from Clarke’s hill.

“You’re so amazing at what you do,” Lexa admitted, putting down her soda. Clarke smiled at her and put her rubbish in the trash.

“You’re so amazing at complimenting me all the time,” Clarke replied, grinning slyly.

Lexa blushed but continued, “What of the last one?”

Staring at the blank canvas, Clarke honestly wasn’t sure what to do with the last one. She had done a variety of things like, landscape, portrait and abstract. Clarke wanted to be versatile with her painting style, but still have clear connections to each piece.

“Do you have any ideas?” Clarke asked, looking back at the green eyed girl.

Lexa stood up and walked over next to Clarke, “You should do something daring. Something that will catch every buyer’s eye – even more so than the others. Something _scandalous_ ,” Lexa encouraged enthusiastically.

Smiling, few ideas popped into Clarke’s brain. One more often than the others.

“I think I have an idea. But I’m going to need your help,” Clarke said. Lexa nodded curiously and crossed her arms.

“What do you need?”

“For you to be my muse again,” Clarke stated. Lexa quirked her brows as if to say ‘is that it?’ but Clarke continued, “Only this time I’m going to need you to be naked.”

*

It took a while for Clarke to convince Lexa that she wasn’t being a perve, and that Clarke wouldn’t even have to see anything. Her plan was to have Lexa sit sideways to her, with her knees up covering her breasts, and her arms spread out in front of her.

“And what do I do with my head Clarke? I can’t look at you, it would be too weird,” Lexa whined. Clarke was surprised by her hesitation – she had said to do something scandalous after all.

“I don’t know, Lexa. Just rest your head on your arms and stare out the window,” Clarke suggested.

After five more minutes of persuading, Lexa finally agreed to do be Clarke’s naked muse. Clarke hugged the girl tightly, thanking her. She was displeased when Lexa stiffened at her touch, but was delighted when Lexa relaxed into her embrace.

Turning around so Lexa could undress and get into position, Clarke locked the door so that Hugo wouldn’t barge in and find Lexa nude on his rug.

“Okay, I’m good,” Lexa stated after two minutes. Clarke turned back around to return to her stool, but was suddenly overwhelmed by the girl sitting in front of her. Lexa was beautiful. She looked so raw and vulnerable, even when covering her breasts and privates.

“You’re staring.”

“You’re beautiful,” Clarke retorted, mirroring Lexa’s statement from weeks ago. Lexa smiled nervously at her and Clarke got to work. She had to at least _try_ to be professional about it. Had to think of Lexa as just a model. Even though her whole body was throbbing with desire for the naked girl.

After she had etched out the lines of Lexa’s bare body, and prepared the colours, Clarke told Lexa that she was able to get dressed now. The outlining had taken about an hour, and Clarke was sure Lexa had been uncomfortable, though she had never said so.

Clarke turned her head away from the girl, but out of the corner of her eye she saw a glimpse of Lexa’s toned stomach and then –

“Clarke!” Lexa yelled, sounding very offended. “You said you weren’t going to look!”

Flustered Clarke started stroking the canvas and said, “I’m sorry, Lexa. I was just – I mean I can’t help that my peripheral vision went that way.”

“Sure,” Lexa said, now fully dressed and standing over Clarke. Clarke could feel Lexa wanting to touch her and when the brunette finally rested one hand on her shoulder, Clarke relaxed slightly into the touch.

“It’s going to be fantastic, Clarke,” Lexa stated before removing her hand. “I should be going, Anya wants me to go by. She’s feeling particularly lonely these days.”

Clarke placed down her paintbrushes and turned to the girl, “Text me?”

Lexa stepped closer to Clarke and lowered her lips to Clarke’s ear, “Of course, prisa.”

Smiling at the nickname Lexa had grown accustomed to calling Clarke, she pressed forward into Lexa’s body.

Turning her head to face Lexa’s Clarke whispered, “Thanks for the food.”

“Anytime,” Lexa replied. They were just centimetres apart now, and Clarke could feel Lexa’s heavy breaths on her face. Lowering her eyes to Lexa’s plush pink lips, Clarke instinctively licked her own.

“I want to kiss you, Clarke.”

Looking back up to Lexa, Clarke wrapped her hands around her neck and replied, “You don’t need to ask permission.”

Leaning into Lexa’s mouth, Clarke’s lips had _almost_ touched Lexa’s when her phone rang, making her jump.

“Fucking hell!” Clarke yelled, stomping over to answer the call. “What?!”

 _“Clarke when are you coming home? Can you pick up ice cream?”_ Raven’s voice squeaked into the microphone.

Clarke was ready to murder the girl. Twice now she’d been kissblocked by Raven. Twice now she’d been _this close_ to finally locking lips with the beauty standing in front of her with a less than impressed look on her face.

Sighing heavily into the phone Clarke replied, “In an hour, I’ll get the ice cream. See you soon.”

Hanging up the phone, Clarke looked back up at Lexa, the moment clearly gone but the sexual tension still ever-present.

Lexa had a hard look in her eyes before whipping out her phone. “Who are you talking to?”

“Anya. I’ve had enough of their whiny, sulky, bullshit.”

*

**Lexa**

The plan was simple – Lexa brings Anya to Clarke’s apartment, under the guise that she wanted to talk about the connections she’s bringing to the showcase and Clarke keeps Raven busy in the apartment until they get there.

Both Lexa and Clarke had, had _enough_ of Anya and Raven’s constant bickering over the last two weeks. They were like two teenage girls, trying to force Clarke and Lexa to pick sides and what not. Their fight needed to be over, so that Lexa and Clarke would have a little peace, and an _actual_ kiss without their interruptions.

When Anya knocked on Lexa’s door, she greeted the girl as usual before taking her over to Clarke’s. Letting herself in, Lexa pushed Anya inside and waited for Clarke to come around the corner with Raven in tow.

“Hey Clarke, what did you need to – what the fuck is she doing here?” Anya spat the minute she saw Raven. Lexa looked at Clarke to say, _here we go._

“I fucking live here. What the fuck are _you_ doing here?” Raven snarled.

Lexa nudged Anya forward and said, “Clarke and I have had _enough_ of your fighting. We don’t want to be caught in the middle anymore. None of us are leaving until you have sorted it out and gotten back together.”

Anya bared her teeth and said, “We were never _together_ in the first place, so this is pointless.”

Lexa saw Clarke roll her eyes and drag Raven down to the couch. Lexa did the same with Anya and the four of them sat awkwardly on Clarke’s lounge waiting for someone to speak up.

“Why don’t we start with Raven’s side of the story? And then we can hear from you, Anya,” Lexa said rather diplomatically.

 _Ida would be proud,_ she thought with a smile.

“Well we were out for dinner and …”

*  
An hour and three yelling matches later, and Lexa and Clarke’s mission was complete. Raven and Anya were now hugging and pecking each other, promising to never fight again unless someone was a _real_ ass.

Lexa smiled at Clarke and moved closer to her, feeling accomplished. “Maybe next time we try to make out, we will actually succeed.”

Clarke turned to her looking scandalised, “Was that a _joke,_ Lexa?”

Lexa’s response was a wild smile, and she wanted to kiss Clarke so bad. But tonight was about Raven and Anya.

“Anya, wasn’t there something you wanted to ask Raven?” Lexa urged.

Anya turned to Raven and said, “Raven Reyes, even though you’re an absolute asshole and a huge flirt, will you please be my girlfriend?”

Raven answered her with a huge kiss that turned into a huge make-out session. Lexa stood up and said to Clarke, “This is where I leave you. Good night, Clarke.”

“No, I’m coming with you. I don’t want to be _near_ them for the make-up sex,” Clarke insisted. Lexa was hesitant; she needed to call Gustus and get an update on their investigation of Nia. But staring into Clarke’s big pleading eyes, Lexa couldn’t refuse. Especially because if Clarke did not go to Lexa’s, she’d probably go to _Bellamy’s._

“Fine,” Lexa said, helping Clarke up and then rushing out of her apartment before they actually saw Raven and Anya bang on the couch.

Once in the safety of her own apartment, she watched as Clarke plopped herself on her lounge and pulled out her phone.

“I just need to make a quick call. Order some pizza, Clarke?” Lexa suggested. Upon seeing Clarke’s eager nod and smile, Lexa slipped into her room and moved the painting to get her burner cell.

Dialling Gustus, Lexa was pleased when the man picked up on the second ring.

“Hello, Prisa,” he greeted warmly. It had been a few weeks since they’d spoken, as Indra had taken the wheel with the last few hiccups, so it was nice to hear his comforting voice.

“Gustus. How are you?”

They exchanged pleasantries until Lexa brought up the real reason for her call.

“I need to ask, how is the investigation coming along?” Lexa asked nervously.

Gustus was quiet for several moments before answering, “I wouldn’t say its going fantastic – especially not for your plans to move forward earlier than expected – but it is coming along. We have managed to obtain evidence that proves Nia was in the palace that night.”

Lexa’s heart was racing, “That’s a good thing, yes?”

“Only if we can get the maid that saw her to testify, when and _if_ we go to trial,” Gustus concluded.

Biting hard on her nails, Lexa’s worries for her brother resurfaced. If she didn’t get to Polaris soon, her brother may not live to see Nia get taken down.

But Lexa wasn’t about to let her brother down. Or break her promise to her sister.

“Two months Gustus. Two months and then I’m going to Polaris whether we have the evidence or not. I won’t let my brother die in there,” Lexa stated bluntly.

“Indra won’t like that.”

“Indra won’t be able to stop me.”

*

The next day, Lexa woke earlier than usual. She had been worrying all night, but trying not to let it affect her mood with Clarke. The last thing she needed was Clarke asking questions that Lexa didn’t want to answer.

Lexa was tossing around the idea of whether to tell Clarke. On the one hand, she knew she could trust Clarke, and Lexa knew that if they were going to start seeing each other she would have to be honest with the girl. But on the other hand, Lexa was terrified that Clarke would freak out and leave her. It would be a lot to take in, and Lexa wouldn’t blame her in the slightest. Nevertheless, Lexa had decided to wait until after Clarke’s showcase if she were to say anything, she didn’t want Clarke to be focused on anything other than her collection.

Rolling out of bed, Lexa decided that she wanted to get something for Clarke. As a _congratulations_ sort of thing. Something that she could wear on her big night. Pulling out her phone, she searched through the numbers until she got the one she wanted.

**Lexa Woods: Hey Octavia, are you free for a shopping trip today?**

**Octavia Blake: ALWAYS**

Two hours later and the two girls were in a fancy jewellery shop, staring at the necklaces and rings. Lexa peered upon a set of earrings for herself to wear on the night, but was yet to see something that screamed _Clarke._

“What does she like, Octavia? Rubies? Sapphires?” Lexa questioned.

Octavia had told her Clarke was a sucker for jewellery, but had yet to mention what exactly the girl liked.

“Go for a necklace, a ring is too formal,” Octavia stated.

Nodding, Lexa questioned further, “How about diamonds?”

Octavia’s eyes went wide, “You want to buy Clarke diamonds?”

Lexa stared at her, confused. “What? Is that too much?”

Octavia shook her head and kept walking around the store until they reached the diamond section of the shop. Lexa searched in the window and immediately spotted an elegant diamond necklace that was simple, yet beautiful.

Pointing it out to Octavia, Lexa asked, “How about this one?”

Watching the girl peer into the window, Lexa was nervous. She’d never really hung with Octavia on her own, but she figured Raven would be far too busy with Anya to come out, and that Lincoln would appreciate Lexa’s attempt at getting to know his fiancée better.

“That is fucking gorgeous, Clarke will love it!” Octavia beamed.

Lexa smiled, and called for a staff member to assist her. Whilst she was waiting she glanced at the matching earrings and when the lady came over, Lexa added them to her checkout items. She watched out of the corner of her eye as Octavia stood there shocked at the amount the items came to.

Nia may have kicked her out of the palace, but Gustus had managed to get Lexa’s trust fund out of the Palace’s estate. Indra regulated it, but only slightly so.

Nevertheless, Clarke was well worth the money she was spending.

As the girls walked out of the shop, Lexa turned to Octavia and said, “I swear I’m not a thug or anything.”

“I know,” Octavia said cautiously. Looking at the girl Lexa noticed something was off.

“What’s wrong? Do you think Clarke won’t like them?”

Octavia shook her head and replied, “It’s nothing.”

Suddenly the pieces clicked and Lexa said, “You know.”

“Know what?”

Lexa stopped the girl and pulled her aside, “Don’t. Lincoln has told you, hasn’t he?”

Octavia bit her lip, clearly uncomfortable at the conversation. Lexa raised her eyebrows urging the girl to explain herself.

“I’m sorry. I knew he was hiding something from me and I forced it out of him. Don’t blame him,” Octavia admitted in a softer voice than Lexa had ever heard from the girl.

Surprisingly, the confession didn’t shock Lexa. The two were to be married after all. She wasn’t mad, or upset at Lincoln for sharing her secret. Though, Lexa thought she should be. If Indra were to find out, Lincoln would be dead meat.

“It is fine, Octavia,” Lexa said, seeing the girl visibly relax. “Although I do hope you will remain to keep this to yourself?”

“Of course, Lexa. I would never betray Lincoln’s family,” Octavia said fiercely.

“You are a fine addition to our family, Okteiva.”

*  
**Clarke**

After completing her final painting and leaving the preparations for the showcase in Hugo’s hands, Clarke decided to visit her mother. Abby lived about ten minutes out of TonDC, and had been bugging Clarke for weeks to see her.

However, she really should’ve prepared herself for the interrogation she was going to face.

“Who’s that new girl on your Twitter, Clarke?” Abby had asked after half an hour of casual conversation.

Clarke groaned, _this_ is why it’s bad to let your parents follow you on social media.

“Her name is Lexa,” Clarke said with a small smile.

“And she is?” Abby questioned further.

Clarke sunk deeper into her mother’s couch and replied, “She is a friend. Who might be turning into more?”

Abby nodded and said, “Ah. I see. Will she be at the showcase?”

Nodding her head, Clarke said, “Please be nice. You always hate my girl and boyfriends.”

“Only because I see that they are wrong for you, before you see it for yourself,” Abby stated with a raised brow.

That was true. There had been one girl that Clarke swore was the loveliest woman on the planet. But Abby didn’t approve and a week later the same girl went ballistic on Clarke for hugging Raven. The _I told you so’s_ were particularly bad for that one.

“Lexa is special.”

*

Clarke was surprised when she saw two figures laying on her lounge together as she walked into her living room. Octavia and Lexa were strewn out all over the lounge watching some adventure movie, with not a care in the world.

“Uh, hi?” Clarke greeted as she walked over to them.

“Hello, Clarke,” Lexa said in return, eyes not moving from the television.

Clarke put her hands on her hips, “Is Raven home?”

Octavia shook her head, also not moving an inch. “So how did you guys get in?”

“I know where you keep your spare key,” Octavia said bluntly.

Moving over to her couch she pushed Lexa sideways so that she had room to sit. But Lexa simply moved closer and put Clarke’s head against her chest. Clarke could hear Lexa’s heartrate beating fast, and she could feel her own beating like crazy.

She didn’t even know what movie it was, but eventually the lull of sleep tided Clarke over as she lay against Lexa’s warm chest.

*

**Lexa**

She was wildly uncomfortable, but Clarke was sleeping so soundly that Lexa could do nothing but suffer in silence. Looking over at Octavia, she noticed that the girl was too interested in the movie to even care about the position Lexa and Clarke were in.

Gently Lexa grabbed her phone out of her pocket and took a snap of Clarke’s sleeping figure. Deciding it was too damn cute to keep to herself, Lexa posted the picture to Twitter.

**@LexWoods: Big day @ClarkeGriff? #cutesleeper**

Apparently Lexa had moved too much because not three seconds later Clarke was up and looking around.

“I don’t know what you did, but I can feel that you did something.”

Lexa grinned wildly, almost laughing at the girl’s apparent sixth sense. She watched as Clarke pulled up her Twitter and then as the blonde glared at her in fake annoyance.

**@ClarkeGriff: @LexWoods you’re annoying.**

When Clarke looked back up to her, Lexa brought the girl closer to her. Clarke was half-straddling her and it was only because of Octavia that Lexa didn’t kiss her then and there.

Instead she opted to do the thing she should’ve done weeks ago.

“Clarke?”

The blonde smiled at her and replied, “Yes?”

“Will you go on a date with me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe i luv cliffhangers. this was kind of a filler chapter, because i couldn't fit clarke's showcase in here or the CLEXA DATE yewwww. 
> 
> up next: clarke gets her diamonds and has her showcase, abby and lexa meet and it is awkward but GREAT
> 
> thoughts? trigedaslengslut on tumblr :)


	9. nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which it is confirmed that Clexa will get #kissblocked by every character in the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still cant get over that i have over 10k reads on this. i love yall

**Lexa**

Knocking on Clarke’s door, Lexa hoped the girl wasn’t too busy. There were only two hours until the showcase, but she needed to give Clarke her gifts before she started getting ready. Looking back on the jewellery she’d bought, Lexa thought perhaps it had been a bit much. But it was for _Clarke._ And if Clarke didn’t like extravagant presents, she was definitely not going to like dating a Princess. 

Eventually a half crazed Clarke opened the door, “Lexa! Hi, how are you? Excited about tonight? I’m sorry I look like a mess, I’m running around -”

“Clarke, you look beautiful,” Lexa smiled. Clarke’s face immediately lit up and she motioned for Lexa to come in. Clarke was already dressed for the night in a pale blue a-line dress, and silver sparkly stilettos, and Lexa wondered how it was possible for a girl to pull off literally anything.

Stepping into the apartment, Lexa caught the eye of Raven who was standing next to Anya, fixing up her girlfriends lipstick with a cotton tip. Nodding her head, Raven threw her a knowing smile.

“I won’t keep you too long, I just wanted to give you something,” Lexa began pulling out the bag from behind her back. “It’s really nothing, just a sort of congratulations gift.”

“Oh Lex, you didn’t have to,” Clarke said with a smile gently taking the bad. Lexa looked on as the blonde peeked into the bag and pulled out the blue velvet box. As Clarke opened the box, Lexa scanned her face for her reaction.

Clarke’s eyes and mouth widened and she turned her head up to stare at Lexa, “Is this … real?”

Lexa nodded shyly in response, and stepped closer to the girl, “There’s more.”

As Clarke pulled out the other blue box and saw the earrings, Lexa saw the complete astonishment on her face.

“Lexa,” Clarke whispered, looking deeply into her eyes. “They’re absolutely beautiful, thank you. This must have cost you a fortune.”

“I hope you like them,” Lexa replied, fixating her eyes on the ground. Seeing the look in Clarke’s eyes she’d wondered if she’d over done it. Maybe diamonds were not the best option for third gift to potential girlfriend ever.

“I _love_ them. Can you put the necklace on for me?” Clarke asked gently, reaching out to touch Lexa’s hand. Lexa’s eyes snapped up and she nodded, her worries disappearing. A surge of relief struck through her as she grabbed the necklace and tentatively lifted it to Clarke’s neck.

As she brought the necklace around Clarke’s neck, her whole body lit up as her fingers slightly traced the back of Clarke’s neck. She could see the goosebumps rising on the blonde’s skin also, as Lexa clicked the chain together.

When she finished Lexa leaned in close to Clarke’s ear and whispered, “You’re going to be great tonight.”

“Thank you,” was Clarke’s hushed replied. Placing a small kiss on Clarke’s neck, Lexa stepped away from the girl.

“See you tonight, Clarke,” Lexa said as the blonde turned around, huge smile on her face.

*

Lexa arrived to the showcase solo, wearing a white lace v-neck crop with nude coloured slacks, and immediately sought out Clarke. Her stilettos clacked loudly as she stepped into the already buzzing gallery, and Lexa could feel many eyes on her.

Going to the showcase was a risk, but even though Indra _and_ Gustus both forbade Lexa from attending, she decided to go anyways. Clarke would be so upset at her if she didn’t go, and she wanted to support her … friend.

She was greeted by a fancy waiter who asked for ID before giving Lexa a glass of white wine. Sipping the alcohol, Lexa walked around searching for Clarke. The blonde was nowhere to be seen, but Lexa came to a stop when she looked up at one particular painting.

It was the _one._ The painting she’d offered her body for not six days earlier. It had turned out beautifully, with Clarke painting all of Lexa’s features exactly. Every muscle, every curve of her body etched out perfectly.

Lexa was so taken by the painting that she didn’t notice Clarke coming up behind her.

“Do you like it?” her small voice asked.

Turning her head to face the girl, who now wore the diamond earrings as well, Lexa smiled widely and replied boldly, “I like it almost as much as I like you.”

Clarke blushed furiously and smiled shyly. Taking Lexa’s free hand she said excitedly, “Come on, I want you to meet someone.”

Smiling, Lexa followed the girl across the gallery until they came across an older looking woman staring up at a painting of TonDC beach.

“Mom,” Clarke said. The woman turned around and a sudden surge of nerves shot through her. This was Clarke’s _mother_. “This is Lexa.”

The woman smiled brightly at Lexa and placed out her hand for Lexa to shake, “Hello, Lexa. I’m Abby.”

Removing her hand from Clarke’s, Lexa shook Abby’s hand and said, “Hello.”

After dropping the woman’s hand, Lexa felt Clarke instantly retake her hand and Lexa smiled at the action.

“Clarke has told me so much, I’m glad to finally meet you,” Abby said politely.

Lexa turned to Clarke before asking Abby, “Hopefully good things?”

Abby let out a short laugh before replying, “Mostly. Although she did mention that you can be ‘Commander Grumpy’ on occasion.”

Smiling Lexa said, “She’s not wrong.”

There was a small silence before Clarke spoke up and said, “I’m going to go and show Lexa some other paintings. I’ll catch up with you and Kane soon?”

Abby nodded and turned back to the painting, but Lexa whispered, “Kane?”

“Mom’s new boyfriend. He’s nice, and they’re good together,” Clarke responded, leading Lexa towards the many canvases.

Clarke showed Lexa her personal favourites over the course of an hour. Each one was amazing and Lexa felt herself wanting to buy all of them, especially after Clarke went in depth about why the paintings were so important and what they meant to her.

Lexa was so enamoured by Clarke and everything that she did. Clarke was barely twenty-one but everything she did elevated her. Clarke was special.

*

**Clarke**

When Lexa gave her a diamond necklace and earrings, Clarke swore she could’ve died. They were so beautiful and Clarke couldn’t believe that Lexa liked her _that much._ But now, as Clarke watched Lexa hang onto every word she said Clarke definitely believed it.

Their hands had been entwined basically since Lexa arrived, and Clarke hated having to remove her hand.

Lexa’s brows raised at the action and Clarke replied, “There are heaps of buyers here and I need to go and schmooze them. Convince them to give Hugo and me all their money and what not.”

Clarke watched as Lexa nodded sadly, “I understand. Come find me when you’re done?”

“Of course,” Clarke said as she left Lexa standing alone. She didn’t want to leave her, but this was _her_ showcase and Clarke had to divide her time between her guests, her buyers and her Lexa.

The showcase was going really smoothly, some of her items were already sold and there was already a request for Clarke to paint for a customer. Clarke was buzzing with the success, for the first time in quite a few months, Clarke actually thought she could make it in this world.

After chatting with the buyers for about an hour and a half, Clarke looked around the room trying to find a familiar mop of brown hair. Grabbing another glass of wine, Clarke walked around until she finally spotted Lexa.

She was about to go to her when Clarke noticed Lexa in a heated conversation with an older woman that Clarke had never seen before. Deciding it was probably best to just leave the girl to it, Clarke wondered around the room, finding a suited up Lincoln and Bellamy at the make-shift bar.

“Enjoying the free tab, guys?” Clarke asked, making her presence known.

Both boys smiled at Clarke’s words and Bellamy replied, “Almost as much as you’re enjoying Lexa’s company tonight.”

Clarke flushed and hit Bellamy with her free hand. “Shut up.”

“When are you guys going on that date?” Lincoln asked. Clarke had told Octavia and Raven excitedly about Lexa’s proposed date and her response. All three of them currently planning a ‘hot’ outfit for Clarke. And lingerie of course. Just in case. How could Clarke know how the night would end up?

“God Octavia just cannot keep her mouth shut,” Clarke groaned. It was true, Octavia was loose lipped about almost everything. If you told her anything, the next day Lincoln or Bellamy would know, if not both of them.

“Actually, Lexa told me,” Lincoln said with a smile.

Clarke’s mouth opened slightly as she asked, “What did she say? Exactly. Word for word. Leave out no details.”

Bellamy chuckled next to Lincoln as the boy replied, “She said, ‘I finally asked out Clarke. She said yes.’”

“Is that all?” Clarke said with a pout.

Lincoln raised his eyebrows, “Well she also told me what she was planning.”

“Tell me!” Clarke half yelled, grabbing Lincoln’s arm frantically. She _needed_ to know what to expect. Was it going to be dinner and movie? Or bowling and arcade? Lexa was so unpredictable, Clarke needed an edge.

“Not allowed to, Commander’s orders,” Lincoln said, still smiling.

Clarke threw her hands up in defeat, “Please Lincoln, give me a hint or something.”

Watching as Lincoln relaxed his shoulders, Clarke knew he was about to give her _something._

“Nope, sorry Clarke. Lexa would have my ass,” Lincoln said finally.

Clarke scowled at the boy before downing her wine. “Ugh fine. I’ll go interrogate her myself.”

As she stalked away, Clarke saw that Lexa was still talking with the woman. But the conversation had clearly turned into an argument. The woman was seething at Lexa, and Lexa was just taking it. Clarke watched as the woman moved towards Lexa and decided that was enough.

Striding over to Lexa, neither of the women noticed Clarke was approaching until the older woman’s head popped up and saw her.

“Is everything okay over here?” Clarke said harshly to the woman.

“Is this her?” the woman asked Lexa.

Lexa stood up straight, looked at Clarke and nodded, “Yes, Indra.”

The woman – Indra – looked Clarke up and down and snarled, “Well I hope she’s worth it, Lexa.”

*

**Lexa**

After Clarke left to ‘schmooze’ her buyers, Lexa sought out Raven and Anya. She found them standing in front of the large canvas, Lexa knew all too well.

As they noticed Lexa, Anya asked slyly, “Is this you?”

When Lexa nodded, Raven said, “You guys aren’t exactly subtle, are you?”

“I suppose not,” Lexa agreed, looking back up at the canvas.

The threesome chatter and walked around, observing all of Clarke’s works for a while before Raven brought up the date, asking what she had planned.

“You both are completely incapable of keeping your mouth shut,” Lexa said. But when Anya’s eyes narrowed Lexa added, “To Clarke that is.”

Anya relaxed, but Raven piped up, “Come onnn, Lexa. At least give us a hint to relay to her!”

Lexa shook her head, “Not a chance.”

As Raven pouted, Lexa glanced around the room trying to spot Clarke. It didn’t take her long to see the blonde talking animatedly to a bunch of fancy looking people. Lexa smiled and turned back to Anya and Raven who were now kissing.

“That’s my cue to leave,” she announced before moving towards the back of the gallery. Lexa couldn’t see another familiar face anywhere, so resigned herself to staring out the window.

She didn’t notice the figure coming up next to her.

“Alexandria,” Indra hissed, pulling her into the corner. “I knew you wouldn’t listen to me.”

Lexa shrugged Indra off, “I came for Clarke. She needs my support.”

Indra scrunched her face and growled, “Is Clarke more important than your country? Than Orin’s legacy? Than your brother’s welfare?”

“Of course not!” Lexa half shouted back. “But she _is_ important to me. The place is well guarded, no one will recognise me.”

“How can you know that, Prisa? How can you be one hundred percent certain?” Indra snapped.

Stepping forward to Indra, Lexa spat, “I’m not 100% certain. But I believed there was nothing to worry about.”

“And if you are wrong? If you are spotted and someone reports back to Nia?” Indra continued.

Lexa bared her teeth, angry at Indra’s tone of voice. Sure, Indra was just looking out for her –but she wasn’t her mother. She had no right to berate her like this, especially when nine times out of ten Lexa did what she asked, no questions.

And then this, the onetime Lexa disobeys her Indra has a go at her like this?

“ _If_ Nia gets wind of this then I will do as I promised. Pack my bags and go,” Lexa said harshly. “But I won’t let _Nia_ stand between what I want.”

“And what is it that you want, Prisa? Some common girl? An artist?” Indra spat. Lexa growled at her words. Clarke was more than a ‘common girl’. Clarke was special. “What would your mother think?”

Lexa glared at Indra sharply stepping even closer to the woman. “How _dare_ you bring up my mother! If she were here she’d reprimand you for speaking so lowly of the girl I want.”

“Would she reprimand me for trying to keep you safe? Because that’s all I’m trying to do. It’s all I’ve been trying to do for the last five and a half years of my life!”

Lexa was about to shoot something back when she noticed Indra looking behind Lexa.

“Is everything okay over here?” she heard Clarke ask Indra.

“Is this her?” Indra asked, ignoring Clarke.

Standing up straight, Lexa turned her head to look at Clarke and nodded, “Yes, Indra.”

Lexa watched as Indra brought her eyes across Clarke, clearly judging her. Baring her teeth once more, Lexa was about to yell when Indra spoke up.

“Well I hope she’s worth it, Lexa.”

Indra pushed her way past Lexa and glared at Clarke before exiting the gallery. Lexa turned back to the confused blonde and felt a surge of longing sweep through her. She was so beautiful with her eyebrows quirked and lips slightly open.

Before Lexa even knew what she was doing she was putting down her wine glass and clutching Clarke’s hand.

“Come on,” she whispered, walking them as fast as they could into the studio across the gallery.

Once inside the room, and out of ear shot to the rest of Clarke’s guests, Lexa pulled the girl closer. But she was surprised when Clarke pulled away, dropping Lexa’s hand and putting her own glass down on the table next to her.

“Are you going to tell me what _that_ was? What did that woman mean by ‘I hope she’s worth it’?” Clarke asked rather harshly.

“Don’t worry about her,” Lexa replied with a frown.

“I’m not worried. I’m angry that you never tell me anything,” Clarke snapped.

Lexa’s eyes widened and her heart started racing. She hadn’t expected Clarke to be angry at her. Shutting her eyes, Lexa tried to think of a way to explain without giving too much away.

“Indra is close family friend. She’s just worried about me getting hurt,” Lexa half explained. She wasn’t _lying_ to Clarke. She just wasn’t going into as much detail as she could. “I’m sorry that she spoke to you that way.”

Lexa stepped closer to the girl, but still kept some space. She knew how Clarke got when they fought.

“So am I worth it?” Clarke asked bluntly before adding pointedly, “Whatever _it_ is?”

It was an instant response. Something that Lexa didn’t even need to think twice about.

“Yes,” she said honestly before slamming her lips into Clarke’s.

Clarke’s lips were tender and moist, and it didn’t take long for the blonde to register what was happening and returning the kiss. Tilting her head slightly sideways for a better angle, Lexa kissed Clarke with everything she had.

As Clarke’s hands reached up and raked through Lexa’s hair, Lexa could helped but moan gently into the girl’s mouth. Lexa’s own hands gripped around Clarke’s waist and she pushed her against the table. The movement caused Clarke’s mouth to open slightly and Lexa took the opportunity, sliding her tongue into Clarke’s mouth.

With her tongue massaging the inside of Clarke’s mouth, whilst her lips moved fluidly with Clarke’s, the throbbing Lexa felt between her legs only grew stronger and stronger. Apparently, Clarke felt the same thing. The blonde wrapped a leg around Lexa, trying to pull her body closer but Lexa pulled away completely.

“Lexa,” Clarke whispered, reaching out for her. Lexa wasn’t pulling away to stop the kissing, Lexa pulled away so she could grab Clarke and place her body on the table.

As she did so, Clarke moaned into her ear and sucked on Lexa’s neck furiously. Lexa faintly heard the wine glass fall off and break, but she was too concentrated on the pleasure to give a fuck.

Breathing out heavily, Lexa was clouded in lust for the girl. Her eyes were hazy and as both of Clarke’s legs wrapped around her body, pulling her impossibly closer, Lexa thought she may explode then and there.

“Klark,” Lexa whimpered as Clarke continued to bite and suck at Lexa’s neck and collarbone. Not being able to resist any longer, Lexa grabbed the hem of Clarke’s dress and pushed it up. Pushing her hand up between Clarke’s thighs, Lexa felt the moisture that had gathered even through Clarke’s lace underwear. Pressing the palm of her hand up, Clarke’s legs tightened around her and Lexa brought her lips to Clarke’s neck.

Kissing up the girl’s neck, Lexa didn’t rest until she heard Clarke particularly harder. Knowing that was the spot, Lexa lapped her tongue over the spot, making Clarke squirm beneath her. She felt Clarke’s hands go beneath her crop top and cup her breasts over her bralette.

“Klark, beja,” Lexa moaned to the girl, unaware that she was using her native tongue. Clarke seemingly got the message and as she moved her hands harder over Lexa’s breasts, Lexa pressed her palm in harder.

Too lost in the moment, Clarke and Lexa both failed to notice the doorknob opening and a figure walking in.

“Clarke, you need to wrap – oh my god,” a disgruntled Abby said.

Lexa flew away from Clarke’s body, placing her hands by her side and stared at the older woman’s shocked and slightly disgusted expression. Clarke jumped off the table just as quickly and pulled down her dress.

“What is it?” Clarke casually asked her mother. Casually. As if Abby hadn’t just walked in on her daughter about two seconds away from having sex with a girl.

Abby was flustered and continued to stare in shock at the two girls, it was only when Lexa cleared her throat that the woman finally spoke up.

“Uh, Hugo wants you to make a wrap up speech. Raven said you might be in here. I didn’t know you’d have … company.”

Lexa’s face blushed and she instinctively moved away from Clarke.

“I’ll be right out,” Clarke said with a sharp look of _go away_ to Abby.

Once Abby was out of the room, Clarke turned to Lexa and grabbed her hand. Lexa averted her eyes, deeply embarrassed by what had just happened.

“Lexa, look at me,” Clarke said placing her hand on Lexa’s cheek. “What’s wrong?”

Finally when Lexa turned her head to Clarke she whispered, “Your mom literally just walked in on me grinding my hand against your vagina and you’re asking me what’s wrong.”

Clarke threw back her head and laughed at Lexa’s blunt response, and seeing the girl laugh made Lexa chuckle too. It _was_ pretty funny. Even if it would probably haunt her for years to come.

Pushing Clarke’s hair back into place, Lexa whispered, “We better go.”

“Just a few more moments,” Clarke pleaded, pressing a gentle kiss to Lexa’s lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the flopdred finale is on tomorrow and im feeling pretty shit about it. cause lexa is my fave and clarke is my fave and its just going to be a mess. so if anyone feels like talking about that, message me on trigedaslengslut 
> 
> ANYWAYS BACK TO THE FIC:   
> I LIED IN THE SUMMARY CLEXA KISSED!!! YALL LOVE ME YET?????? hehe wish granter i am :) but lowkey y they always getting some sort of blocked??????
> 
> tha date is next chap yall aint ready (neither am i)


	10. ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa plans a romantic date and Clexa gets wet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the finale killed me for three days bc lexa didn't say i love you back. but fuck jrat im gonna finish this story x

**Clarke**

“Raven! Where is my eyeliner?!” Clarke shouted from the bathroom. She had less than an hour to get ready for her date with Lexa and she still wasn’t even dressed.

“Second draw, behind the wipes,” Raven replied, popping her head around the corner. Hurriedly grabbing the eyeliner, Clarke lined her eyelids adding a flick at the end for drama. Being a painter made for good eyeliner application in a hurry.

After adding some mascara and setting her face with spray, Clarke practically sprinted into her room. She’d curled her hair into loose waves and was planning on wearing the diamond jewellery Lexa had given her last week.

_Last week._

It seemed like a lifetime ago since her showcase. Clarke had sold _all_ of her paintings and had received so many requests she’d had to refuse some. That alone was overwhelming, but when Hugo also offered her art space in the gallery permanently, Clarke thought she could’ve died.

Her mother had been pleased with the turnout and agreed that if she kept it up, Abby would relent on med school. However, Abby didn’t forget what she walked in on.

_“Clarke, what were you thinking? What if it was Hugo coming to get you?” Abby scolded outside the gallery._

_Clarke shrugged her shoulders, “We just got caught up in the moment.”_

_Abby rolled her eyes and said, “You could have waited until you got home instead of having sex on a table. God, Clarke did I teach you any class at all?”_

_“I assure you, Clarke is all class,” came a voice from behind the women. Turning around Clarke smiled when Lexa walked towards them with a straight face. “However, I led her astray. It was my fault.”_

_Clarke shoved Lexa in the stomach, “Shut up. Mom doesn’t care that much,_ do _you Mom?”_

Throwing on a long sleeved, deep red dress and the silver heels from her showcase, Clarke hoped she wasn’t too overdressed. Lexa had said dress nice, but was there a difference between nice and fancy?

Walking out to the lounge room, Clarke almost tripped over when she saw Lexa casually sitting on her couch. With her hair elegantly pulled back, and body baring a black, off the shoulder mini-dress, Clarke’s breath hitched and she had to remind herself that she, Clarke Griffin, was actually going on a date with this girl.

Lexa’s head turned at the sound of Clarke’s heels and she stood up, revealing two roses in her hand. Clarke smiled and walked over to the girl, placing a small kiss on her mouth.

“Good evening,” Clarke greeted.

Lexa grinned and replied, “You look amazing. These are for you.”

Taking the roses from Lexa, Clarke said, “Thank you, Lex. They’re absolutely stunning.”

Putting them in the same vase as the flowers Lexa had gotten her a month earlier, Clarke smiled at the fact that she’d actually managed to keep them alive for so long.

Turning back to Lexa, Clarke put her arms around the girl’s neck and purred, “You look so hot right now.”

“Elegantly put, Clarke,” Lexa replied with a smile. “But thanks.”

As Lexa leaned down for a kiss, Clarke lifted her head up meeting her lips halfway. Their lips met gently, and Clarke pushed in for more. Licking Lexa’s bottom lip, Clarke was surprised when the girl kept her mouth shut. After one more try and rejection, Clarke pulled away from Lexa with a frown.

“Lexa,” Clarke said grumpily.

“Sorry Clarke, but I made reservations,” Lexa replied tracing Clarke’s cheek. “Reservations I _really_ don’t want to cancel.”

Rolling her eyes, Clarke grabbed Lexa’s hand and led her out the door. After yelling a hasty goodbye to Raven, Clarke and Lexa were on their way.

“You going to tell me where we’re going?” Clarke asked with a nudge as they entered Lexa’s car.

“For the thousandth time, Clarke, no,” Lexa replied. “You’ve probably already been there before, but it’s only dinner.”

Clarke stared straight ahead and answered, “What do you mean _it’s only dinner_?”

“As in, I have more planned after,” Lexa said bluntly.

The car ride was quiet with Lexa focused on driving and Clarke’s nerves growing by the minute. It had been a long time since Clarke had gone on a date, and she couldn’t help but think about all the things that could go wrong. What if she choked on her food? What if Lexa flirted with the waitress like Raven had? What if –

“Clarke, are you going to be silent the whole night?” Lexa asked, turning her head quickly to smile at Clarke before looking back at the road.

“I’m just nervous because you’re really hot and I really like you and it’s like what if I mess it up? What if I spill food all over you and then you never talk to me again?” Clarke rambled honestly.

Clarke heard Lexa sigh before she began, “Clarke, you could kill a man on this date and I’d still happily go on another with you.”

“Oh,” Clarke said. “Really?”

“We hang out all the time, I get this is _different_ , but don’t let it make you nervous babe,” Lexa said before realising she just called Clarke babe.

Clarke laughed as the girl flushed and said, “Babe?”

Lexa pulled into the carpark of the restaurant and looked shyly over at Clarke.

Leaning over, Clarke whispered, “I like it,” before placing a chaste kiss on Lexa’s lips. Looking out the window, Clarke did indeed recognise the restaurant, though she’d never been there.

It was called _La Luna_ and was located directly next to TonDC beach. Clarke smiled at the view of both the beach and of the restaurant before turning back to Lexa.

“It’s so … _fancy_ ,” Clarke said in wonder. She’d never gone in, mainly because her old flames and friends were _not_ in a financial state to pay for a meal here. But whenever she’d past the establishment, Clarke had always wanted to just have a peek at the inside.

“Only the best for you,” Lexa replied with a smirk. Clarke was still looking outside when Lexa opened the door for her and put her hand out to help Clarke out of the car.

Smiling and grabbing her hand, Clarke stepped out happy that she had not only worn a long sleeved dress, but also brought a light jacket. The mid-October chill was reaching up on them, and looking over at a bare shouldered Lexa, Clarke realised the girl may not have expected it.

“Here, Lex,” Clarke said, putting her jacket over Lexa’s shoulders.

“Thank you, Clarke,” Lexa said with a grateful smile. Leading Clarke into the restaurant, Lexa spoke to the doorman and they were brought to their table.

It was an outside table, overlooking the beach next to the restaurant and Clarke was too busy staring at the view, she didn’t even see Lexa pulling out her chair.

“Uh, Clarke?” Lexa said, one hand on the chair and the other pointing to it.

Chuckling nervously, Clarke sat down and said, “Sorry, the view is amazing.”

Watching as Lexa sat in her own chair across from her, Clarke grabbed the menu and flicked through the entrees.

“What do you feel like?” Clarke asked Lexa, who was pouring them both a glass of wine each.

“Whatever you want,” she replied, making Clarke narrow her eyes at the girl. “However, I quite like bruschetta.”

Clarke smiled at the girl and said to the waiter, “The bruschetta to share please.”

Picking up the wine Clarke took a sip and looked back at Lexa, who was staring down at her hands. Reaching over and grabbing one of them, Clarke gave the palm a squeeze.

“Lexa, are you going to be quiet the whole night?” Clarke teased with a sly smile.

“Shop of,” Lexa responded offhandedly.

Clarke’s eyes widened at the words and she quirked her brows, “Shop of?”

“It means shut up, or be quiet in Polarian,” Lexa said quickly before taking a sip of her own wine.

“Tell me some more words,” Clarke urged.

She could see the hesitation in Lexa’s face, but after five moments of silence the girl spoke up.

“What do you want to know?”

*

Three courses and two hours later, Clarke thought that this was the best date she had ever been on. The two girls were always immersed in conversation, never seeming to run out of things to say. Clarke was so comfortable in Lexa’s company, all nerves completely gone.

“Check please,” Lexa said to a nearby waiter, and Clarke’s eyebrows raised. She wasn’t ready to leave, they were having such a good time. “Do not fret, Clarke. The night is only young.”

After Lexa’s insistence on paying, Clarke waved her phone in the air and demanded, “Smile for the camera.”

“Cla-rke, why do you always insist on this?” Lexa groaned unhappily, covering her face.

Clarke pouted and replied, “Because you’re so pretty and I want people to believe that I am actually on a date with you.”

Lexa rolled her eyes and smiled slightly for Clarke. Snapping the photo from across the table, Clarke quickly posted it.

**@ClarkeGriff: Beautiful night w/ beautiful company. @LexWoods xx**

“Alright, now your turn,” Lexa said cheekily, pulling out her own phone.

Clarke shook her head and said, “You don’t have to.”

Lexa narrowed her eyes at Clarke and the blonde threw her hands up in defeat, “Okay, okay.”

After hearing the click of Lexa’s camera, Clarke saw a notification fly up on her phone.

**@LexWoods: Date night with the most gorgeous woman in TonDC @ClarkeGriff x**

“Lexa,” Clarke said after seeing the post. “I am _not_ the most gorgeous woman in TonDC.”

“Sha, you are,” Lexa replied swiftly. “Come on, we’ve got more on the agenda tonight.”

**Lexa**

Leaving the restaurant, Lexa quickly clutched Clarke’s hand and veered her away from the direction of the carpark.

“This way,” Lexa said, after noticing Clarke’s confused face. “Take off your heels, give them to me.”

Clarke did as Lexa said with raised eyebrows, and after Lexa took off her own shoes she led the girl down a sandy path next to La Luna. Lexa pretty much half jogged down the path, with Clarke in tow. She wanted to get to their next destination as quickly as possible.

Once they reached the forefront of the beach, Lexa turned back to Clarke and explained, “The beach at night is my favourite place to go, and I wanted to share that with you.”

Lexa knew Clarke had already been mesmerised by the view at dinner, and looking at her face now, it was clear to see that the girl was dazed by the scene once more. Nudging the blonde’s hand, Lexa started walking closer to the water, where the sand was damp and you could see their foot tracks.

However, once on the damp sand, Clarke removed her hand from Lexa’s and walked away from the girl.

“Uh, Clarke?” Lexa called out to the blonde nervously. _What was she doing?_

“Hold up,” Clarke replied. Moments later when she returned with a huge stick, Lexa raised her eyebrows in question. “I want to do something _so_ cheesy and gross it’ll make Raven squirm.”

Lexa watched as Clarke wrote across the sand, _L + C_ and then scratched a love heart around the letters. When she was done Clarke’s face turned up to Lexa’s expectantly, and Lexa deliberately kept her face unreadable.

It was only when Clarke’s face faltered slightly that Lexa dropped the shoes she was carrying and grabbed the girl by the waist.

Leaning down, she kissed Clarke tenderly on the lips and said, “You are indeed the cheesiest, Clarke Griffin. But I like it very much.”

Clarke smiled at her before wrapping her arms around Lexa’s neck and drawing her closer for a deeper kiss. Tilting her face to give Clarke a better angle, Lexa couldn’t stifle the moan that escaped her mouth as Clarke’s tongue entwined with hers. She could feel Clarke’s sly smile at the moan, and brought the girl closer so their chests were touching.

Lexa’s hand wondered down Clarke’s waist, until she was gently cupping the blonde’s ass. Giving it a firm squeeze, Lexa was surprised when Clarke detached her lips.

“Lexa,” she hissed with narrow eyes.

Stepping back a little from the blonde, Lexa smiled and said, “What?”

“We are on a public beach.”

“Like being in public has stopped us before,” Lexa replied cheekily. “But yes, I get it. Let’s keep walking.”

Picking up the shoes and taking a photo of Clarke’s sandwork, Lexa took the blonde’s hand and they walked in comfortable silence. Lexa loved the feel of wet sand between her toes, and the smell of fresh salt water.

“Hey, Lex,” Clarke said out of the blue, turning Lexa around to face her. Lexa was immediately worried by the look in Clarke’s eyes. The blue was tinted in mischief and rebellion.

“I know it’s kinda cold, and we may die, but … let’s get in,” Clarke suggested wiggling her brows up and done.

Lexa’s mouth opened slightly and she said, “Clarke I don’t want to get hypothermia.”

At Lexa’s protest, Clarke pouted her bottom lip and said, “Plea-se, Lexa.”

She could feel herself cracking to Clarke’s request, even though Lexa was one hundred percent certain she was going to freeze to death. It only took one more second of looking into those pleading blue eyes to roll her own in defeat.

“Fine. You win,” Lexa said dropping the shoes to the ground. Turning away from Clarke, Lexa stripped down to her undergarments. She was already freezing, and her nipples felt like stone against her bra.

“Clarke, I’m freez- holy shit,” Lexa muttered when she turned back to Clarke, only to find the blonde already walking towards the water in her undergarments. Her pale back contrasted against the dark blue waves and her white lacy underwear stood out even more.

Gulping down her lust, Lexa took small steps into the waves trying to catch up to Clarke. The blonde had stopped walking and was floating gently in the cold water.

“I’m cold, Clarke,” Lexa whined once she was near the girl.

Clarke rolled her eyes and said, “Come here then you big baby.”

Swimming a few strides over to Clarke, Lexa latched onto the girl once she could. Lexa was tall enough that her feet were firmly planted in the sand beneath them, but Clarke wasn’t. The blonde wrapped her legs around her and Lexa hoisted her up. Clarke was weightless in the water and Lexa revelled in the warmth between them. Looking up at the stars and moon above, Lexa again found herself picking which ones were her Nomon and Nontu. And which one was Ida.

“What are you thinking about?” Clarke asked, pressing her head to Lexa’s.

Closing her eyes and bringing Clarke even closer Lexa whispered, “My family.”

“Do you miss them?” Clarke whispered, tracing a finger down Lexa’s back.

“Sha. Very much,” Lexa said, opening her eyes and staring into Clarke’s. “But I’m not as sad as I used to be. Not as empty.”

Clarke smiled and said, “I’m glad. You’re so grumpy when you want to be.”

Laughing softly, Lexa retorted, “Shop of, yu,” before leaning in and placing her mouth on Clarke’s. Clarke responded instantly, moulding her mouth to Lexa’s and holding her closer. Lexa deepened the kiss, moving one hand to hold the back of Clarke’s neck. Lexa could feel the heat pooling in her stomach as Clarke moaned quietly into her mouth, and her hand slid from Clarke’s neck to under her bra.

“Lex,” Clarke said detaching. “Don’t take it off.”

Lexa stared at the girl and whispered, “Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to lose it in the ocean. It was fifty dollars,” Clarke replied bluntly making Lexa laugh loudly.

Boob-blocked by the damn ocean.

*

Once back at their apartment building, Lexa and Clarke were both still damp and shivering. Clarke had still insisted it was a great idea, even when Lexa glared at her. She’d never admit it to the blonde, but Lexa did think it had been a great end to the night. A _cold_ end. But great all the same.

Stepping out of the elevator at their level, Lexa felt a pang of sadness at the thought of saying goodbye to Clarke.

“So I guess this is it,” Clarke said with a small smile, once they were standing outside her door.

“I guess so,” Lexa replied shortly.

A silence fell over the girls, both of them wanting the same thing but neither wanting to come out and ask.

Eventually Lexa couldn’t take it anymore and said, “Unless, you want to come over? For like coffee or something?”

Clarke nodded and Lexa excitedly grabbed her hand, leading her to her apartment. Opening the door, she watched as Clarke nervously wandered in.

“Did you actually want coffee?” Lexa asked with a smile, shutting and locking the door behind her.

“Nope,” Clarke responded turning back to Lexa. Before Lexa knew what was happening Clarke was stepping out of her heels and sliding off her dress.

Lexa’s breath hitched and after stepping out of her own shoes, Lexa walked towards Clarke and grabbed her bare hips. Bringing them towards her own, Lexa felt Clarke’s hands pull at her dress. Allowing her to let the dress fall to the ground, Lexa brought her lips down to Clarke’s chest. She began kissing up to her neck, suckling on the spot she knew would make Clarke squirm.

“Lex-a,” Clarke moaned at the touch, making Lexa suckle even harder. She wasn’t going to stop until Clarke beared her mark. Once satisfied, Lexa moved her hands to grasp at Clarke’s hips even harder. Looking up to meet Clarke’s hazy eyes, Lexa moved her lips to the blonde’s.

Clarke latched onto her lips desperately, and Lexa was startled when she felt Clarke’s hand wander between her thighs. Moaning as Clarke ground her palm lightly, Lexa moved her lips against Clarke’s harder and faster. They stood there for a good five minutes, basking in the desperation of one another, before Lexa intervened.

“Clarke – bedroom?” Lexa said softly.

Seeing Clarke’s nod of approval, Lexa clasped her hand and led her to the bedroom. Once inside, Clarke pushed Lexa down onto the bed and straddled her hips. Her hand returned to Lexa’s sex, but Lexa quickly grabbed it up again and kissed it.

Clarke’s brows raised and she asked gently, “Don’t you want me?”

“You have no idea how badly I want you. How much I want _this_ ,” Lexa began, pulling Clarke down next to her. “But I …”

“What?”

“Clarke, I’m a virgin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe there we go hope yall liked the date :) and i'm sorry im such a tease, but lexie poo wants to take her time with clarke and make it special ;) (thought her being a virgin was realistic cause this bamf aint had the time to find a lover)
> 
> up next: clarke gets an interesting job offer and lexa is a sick puppy who has her own personal nurse.


	11. eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa has the flu and Clarke plays nurse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all of you guys who comment EVERY chapter (u know who u r) literally make my life so here is a short-ish chapter that may seem like a filler but wait till the end, friends

**Clarke**

“Clarke, I’m a virgin,” Lexa said in a shaky voice. Once she said the words Clarke’s lust filled mind cleared and she sat upright.

“You’re a what?” Clarke asked with widened eyes.

Lexa turned away from Clarke and said harshly, “Don’t make me say it again.”

Clarke didn’t know what to say. She was completely shocked. How could someone that fucking hot be a virgin? And what about at the showcase? They almost had sex then and Lexa said nothing. Clarke turned her head back to Lexa, only to find the girl staring straight up at the ceiling with a steely look on her face.

It was then Clarke knew she fucked up. She knew her reaction was disgraceful to say the least. 

Reaching over, Clarke grabbed Lexa’s hand and squeezed it, “Lex, it’s okay. Its fine.”

Lexa snatched her hand away and looked at Clarke in the eyes, “I know that, _Clarke_.”

Clarke visibly stiffened at Lexa’s cold tone, did her reaction really offend Lexa that much?

“I’m just … gonna go, okay? I’m sorry,” Clarke whispered, sliding off the bed.

She’d made it two steps before Lexa called out, “Clarke, wait.”

Clarke turned her head slightly to see the girl again and saw that Lexa was holding her hands out for Clarke to take. Instantly Clarke walked over and grabbed them, hopping right back onto Lexa’s bed.

“I just have never had the time to, you know. Find a girl and like them enough to want to,” Lexa explained with nervous eyes.

Clarke smiled comfortingly and embraced the girl, “Lexa, you don’t need to explain anything. I get it.”

Lexa returned the embraced and she whispered into Clarke’s ear, “I want you. But I don’t want to rush this.”

Nodding against Lexa’s back, Clarke removed her arms from the girl and placed a small kiss on her lips.

“Is it alright if I sleep here?” Clarke asked hesitantly, she didn’t know Lexa’s boundaries anymore and she wasn’t going to be an asshole and just assume things.

“Of course, Clarke,” Lexa said with her small smile. Clarke lifted up the blanket and snuggled underneath, feeling a sudden hit of drowsiness. She had just closed her eyes when Clarke felt Lexa cuddle up beside her and place her arms over Clarke’s waist.

Holding onto Lexa’s hand Clarke fell into the easiest sleep she’d had in a while.

*

“She’s a virgin?!” Raven exclaimed when Clarke told her the next day.

Clarke hadn’t meant to tell her, and she knew it was a complete invasion of Lexa’s privacy but Raven knew something was up and Clarke couldn’t stop herself. It was a poor excuse, but she knew she could trust Raven not to say anything.

Hugo called her in that morning for a brief consultation, and she hadn’t wanted to wake Lexa so Clarke snuck out leaving behind a hastily written note. It was bad form, but she was planning on going back over after lunch with Raven.

“Yes, but it’s not a big deal Rae,” Clarke said.

“Obviously it’s not, but like _how_?” Raven asked with wide eyes. “Your girlfriend is so hot Clarke I don’t understand.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Firstly, she’s not my girlfriend. Yet. Secondly, _I know right_.”

Taking a bite from her burger, Clarke still hadn’t really wrapped her head around it. She was now even more nervous than before to have sex with the girl. What if she didn’t live up to Lexa’s expectations?

“Anya is coming by soon,” Raven said with a sly smile.

“Is that a hint for me to leave?” Clarke asked with narrowed eyes. Raven shrugged and looked back at her food. “It’s fine, I was going to go see Lexa today anyways.”

At that, Clarke heard the knock at the door and got up from the table. Opening the door Anya stood there with a stern look.

“She’s all yours,” Clarke replied with a wink.

“Actually Clarke, I wanted to talk to you,” Anya said firmly.

Clarke’s eyebrows raised and she turned back to look at Raven, who only gave her a confused shrug.

“Uh, sure?” Clarke said, stepping out into the hallway with the now slightly intimidating older girl.

“So, what are your intentions with Lexa?” Anya asked seriously.

Clarke’s racing heart slowed and she had to swallow a chuckle. “Is this… is this the _talk_? Anya are you for real?”

Anya rolled her eyes and said, “Well it’s not like you’d listen to Lincoln if he were here instead of me. Just hear me out, okay?”

Clarke nodded and Anya continued with slightly narrowed eyes, “Lexa may look like a tough nut, but don’t be fooled - she’s a cinnamon roll deep down.”

“I think I’ve figured that out, Ahn,” Clarke said with a smile.

“Don’t hurt her, Clarke. I’m actually serious about that.”

Placing a hand on Anya’s shoulder, Clarke replied honestly, “I would never intentionally do that. You have my word.”

Anya nodded and smiled slightly, “I’ll see you later?”

Dropping her hand and walking towards Lexa’s door, Clarke replied over her shoulder, “Yeah just holler when you are done having _fun._ ”

Opening Lexa’s door, Clarke walked in and found Lexa still in bed, eyes glued to her phone.

“Hey, lazy. What are you up to?” Clarke said, kicking off her shoes and laid next to the girl.

Lexa frowned at Clarke and said, “You left without saying goodbye.”

Scooting closer, Clarke replied, “You were asleep. I didn’t want to wake you.” Clarke watched as the girl rolled her eyes. Was she actually mad? “I wrote you a note.”

“Would have preferred kisses,” Lexa muttered under her breath.

Smiling Clarke said, “Be careful what you wish for.” Lexa barely had time to register the words before Clarke was smothering her with kisses.

“Clar-ke, stop!” Lexa whined, chuckling.

Clarke backed away from the brunette, who’s frown was now gone and small smile back in place. “You wanted kisses.”

“ _Proper_ kisses. Not silly ones, Clarke.”

Bending over the girl again, Clarke moved her lips to Lexa’s gently. Pressing in for a short kiss, Clarke was surprised when Lexa kept the kiss going.

When Clarke moved away, she whispered, “Good morning.”

“It’s 1.30pm, Clarke.”

*  
Three days and lots of kisses later and Clarke received a worrying text from Lexa, right before their next planned date.

**Lex <3: Can’t make the movie tonight, Clarke. I’m sorry. **

**Klark <3: What’s wrong?**

Clarke had seen Lexa the day before, and she’d been fine – excited for the movie date they planned.

**Lex <3: I’m not feeling well, just got a bit of a flu. Don’t worry, Clarke.**

The moment Clarke read the words, she felt incredibly guilty. The cause of Lexa’s ‘flu’ was obviously the late night swim just nights before. The swim that Clarke had forced Lexa to go on.

**Klark <3: I’m coming over**

**Lex <3: NO**

Ignoring the text, Clarke quickly got changed into track pants and an oversized t-shirt. Wearing big socks and braiding her hair into two dutch braids, Clarke wanted to look as casual as possible. They were still going on a second date, whether Lexa liked it or not.

Grabbing some tablets from her medicine cabinet and three sachets of chicken soup, Clarke stalked out of her apartment and made her way to Lexa’s.

Knocking on the door, Clarke yelled, “Lex! Open up!” When she heard no response, Clarke turned the knob only to find the door was locked. Rolling her eyes, Clarke pulled out her phone and dialled Lexa’s number.

The girl picked up on the second ring, “Go away,” a small voice croaked.

“Not gonna happen. Open the door or I’ll get Anya to use her key,” Clarke replied in a cheery voice.

“I look gross and sickly, you cannot see me like this,” Lexa whispered. “It will ruin my status as goddess.”

Clarke rolled her eyes at the girl and said, “I’ll get Anya right now, don’t test me.”

When the call ended, Clarke knew she had been victorious and seconds later when the door unlocked and Lexa appeared in the doorway, covered in blankets. Lexa looked Clarke up and down before smiling.

“Wow Lex, you look like a piece of shit,” Clarke said with a cheeky smile. When Lexa narrowed her eyes Clarke quickly continued, “But you’re _my_ piece of shit.”

“I hate you,” Lexa responded as Clarke walked in. “This is going to be a dreadful date.”

Clarke put her hand on Lexa’s forehead, feeling the intense hotness and noted the redness of Lexa’s nose against the loss of colour to the rest of her face. Lexa was indeed sick, and Clarke felt even worse.

“Come on, let’s get you back to bed,” Clarke said, leading Lexa back into her bedroom and gently pushing her back down. “Put on a movie, I’ll be back with soup and medicine.”

*

**Lexa**

Being sick never suited Lexa. The overwhelming weakness and lack of stamina made Lexa frustrated and grumpy. She tended to avoid people when sickness did come, so as to protect them from her moodiness. Hence why she had to cancel her date with Clarke.

She really should’ve expected Clarke to just completely ignore her and come over anyways. What she hadn’t expected was Clarke to come over, dressed so casually and bearing medicine and soup. It made Lexa smile to see that Clarke was determined to spend time with her no matter what state she was in.

“Put on a movie, I’ll be back with soup and medicine,” the girl commanded before leaving the room.

Snuggling deeper into her blankets, Lexa flicked onto Netflix and scrolled through the selection of horror movies. Her nose was running constantly, so she had to stop a few times and blow her nose but eventually she found a movie – _Hush_.

Pausing it so Clarke would not miss out on any of the events, Lexa rolled over to check her phone. She had two new texts. One from Indra and one from Lincoln.

**Indra: Call me when you’re better. We have much to discuss.**

**IronMan: plz come back to gym when ur better. need my partner back :(**

Frowning at Indra’s and smiling at Lincoln’s, Lexa hastily typed out two replies before relaxing back into the blankets.

**Alexandria: Will do. X**

**WOMANOFSTEEL: I’ll be back in a day – tops. X**

Her head was pounding, and she groaned into her pillow. Lexa felt slightly annoyed at Clarke considering it _was_ her fault she was sick. But as soon as the girl smiled on her doorstep, Lexa couldn’t be angry at her.

Clarke came back into the room about ten minutes later, holding a bowl of soup, cup of water and two tablets.

“Clarke you didn’t have to do this. I can suffer on my own,” Lexa said in a small voice.

“Ssh. I want to be here and you can’t make me go away,” Clarke replied as she sat next to Lexa. “Now are you going to eat this or do I have to spoon feed you?”

“Oh shop of.”

Lexa clicked played on the movie and began shovelling the soup into her mouth. If it were anyone but Clarke, she’d probably have _tried_ to eat nicely. However, she knew Clarke couldn’t give a damn what she looked like eating.

Putting the bowl on the table next to her, Clarke handed her the water and tablets. Lexa took them without hesitation and instantly she began to feel better. Her headache cleared and her nose was only slightly running.

The movie was a lot more intense than Lexa had thought, and she could tell Clarke was a bit scared. About halfway through, when the main character (who was deaf mind you) was holed up in the bathroom and the killer was just outside waiting for her, Clarke snuggled in closer to Lexa.

“Clarke,” Lexa croaked.

“Yes, dear?” Clarke replied chirpily.

“I’m sick.”

Clarke propped her head up and said in a dramatic voice, “No way! I never would have known.”

“Asshole. I just didn’t want to make you sick,” Lexa said grumpily. “But go ahead snuggle all you want I’m not gonna stop you.”

“Okay,” Clarke said snuggling into Lexa more. By the end of the movie, Lexa was on Clarke’s chest and Clarke’s legs were wrapped around her. Their hands were entwined on top of the blanket, and whilst Lexa still felt ill, Clarke’s presence was oddly comforting. When Clarke wasn’t looking Lexa quickly grabbed her phone and sneakily took a picture of their hands. Posting it with a caption, Clarke was sure to be happy about, Lexa hastily put the phone back and looked back at the movie.

When the credits started rolling, Lexa looked up at the girl who’s eyes were already fixated on her.

“Lex?” Clarke began in a small voice. Lexa quirked her brows urging Clarke to continue. “Can we please watch The Notebook?”

Lexa groaned at the suggestion. “Really?”

“Please,” Clarke replied, making her blue eyes wide and her bottom lip slightly pout.

“ _Fine_.”

Two hours and one heartbreaking movie later, Lexa was crying her bloody eyes out.

“It’s just so – beautiful – Clarke,” Lexa sniffled into Clarke’s oversized shirt. Lexa felt the girl laughing beneath her, and Lexa elbowed her. Being sick made her vulnerable and she must be getting her period because she was _never_ this emotional.

“I can’t believe you’re actually crying, Lex. Big, tough, Lexa is bawling at The Notebook,” Clarke chuckled, placing a soft kiss on Lexa’s forehead.

“It’s – the sickness,” Lexa replied.

“Sure it is,” Clarke winked. Lexa sat upright, wiping at her eyes. “It’s cute. _You’re_ cute.”

 Lexa smiled meekly at the blonde and said, “Do you need to go?”

Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa and whispered, “I think I can risk getting sick for one night.”

*

**Clarke**

The next morning, Clarke opened her eyes to find Lexa still sound asleep next her. The brown curls were tickling Clarke’s face, but she couldn’t bring herself to move the hair. She gently touched Lexa’s forehead, pleased to see the temperature had gone down considerably.

Turning on Lexa’s television and putting on _Real Housewives of Atlanta_ , Clarke was content to lay there all day. Sure, she had a lot of paintings to complete and various sketches to send to customers, but Clarke convinced herself she would knuckle down and do it all tomorrow.

After two episodes, Lexa stirred beneath her and croaked out, “Clarke.”

“Sorry was it too loud?” Clarke asked, cuddling Lexa closer.

“No, but could you at least watch a good show?” Lexa retorted, opening her eyes and grinning.

Clarke elbowed Lexa and continued watching the show, until Lexa reached over and took the remote from her.

“Lexa!” Clarke exclaimed.

Lexa flicked through the tv shows section and landed on _Game of Thrones._ “Much better.”

Huffing next to the girl, who was immediately immersed in the episode, Clarke grabbed out her phone and snapped the moment. She was about to post it when she noticed Lexa had posted something that evening. It was a picture of their entwined hands on the blanket and Clarke was surprised she hadn’t noticed Lexa taking the picture.

**@LexWoods: her <3 **

The caption made Clarke smile and before she posted her own picture, she quickly commented a ‘ **< 3**’ on Lexa’s post.

**@ClarkeGriff: my commander sick AND grumpy <3**

“Clar-ke,” she heard Lexa say after she’d posted it. “I look so unattractive.”

“Impossible,” Clarke said leaning in for a kiss.

Lexa pushed her away with a frown and scolded, “Clarke, I don’t want you getting sick!”

“You’re irresistible, what else can I say?” Clarke said with a smile.

She faintly heard Lexa’s _shop of_ before the sound of her phone ringing made her jump. Clarke excused herself and wandered out into Lexa’s lounge room.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Clarke Griffin?” an accented voice said through the phone.

Clarke raised her eyebrows and looked back into the bedroom, only to see Lexa yelling about some character’s unwarranted death.

“Yes, who is this?” Clarke asked.

“I’m Fredrick, and I’m an art buyer for the Regent of Polaris, Nia Trigeda,” Fredrick began. Clarke’s interest spiked - _the Regent of Polaris?_ “She has seen your work from Polaris and is _very_ interested in having you paint something for her.”

Clarke was shocked that someone of Nia’s position would be asking _her_ – an artist just starting out – to paint for her.

“Miss Griffin?” Fredrick said after a few moments.

“Sorry, I’m here. Of course I’ll paint something for her,” Clarke said happily. “What was it that she wanted?”

Searching around for pen and paper, Clarke was about to ask Lexa for some when Fredrick replied, “I will email you through the portrait photo the Regent would like to see on canvas.”

“Portrait? Wouldn’t it be easy for me to come -?”

“The Regent is very busy, as is her nephew who is also present in the portrait. If you are unable to paint from a photo…” Fredrick interjected.

Clarke bit her lip before replying, “No, no it’s fine. Just unusual.”

After giving the man her professional email address, Clarke hung up the phone and practically ran into Lexa’s room.

*

**Lexa**

“Lexa, you would not _believe_ the job I just got,” Clarke announced, making Lexa’s attention turn from Jon Snow’s dead body to the bubbly blonde in front of her.

“Do tell,” Lexa purred, bringing her closer.

“The Regent Nia Trigeda of Polaris!” Clarke exclaimed excitedly. Lexa’s senses dulled and she suddenly became very numb. Her entire body froze and she heard Clarke continue talking but nothing was registering.

 _Nia had found Clarke. Nia knew where Clarke worked. Nia had found Clarke. Nia had found_ her.

“Lex, are you even listening?” Clarke said after a few moments.

Lexa opened her mouth but no words came out. She didn’t know what to say, how to warn Clarke. Because perhaps it was all a coincidence? Perhaps Nia had just caught wind of Clarke’s talent?

It seemed unlikely considering Nia hadn’t left Polaris and Clarke had only had one showcase here in TonDC. But it was the only scenario Lexa could think of other than that Nia had tracked her down and discovered Clarke’s existence and attachment to Lexa along the way. _And_ that she was now using Clarke to send Lexa a message.

_I know where you are and who I need to use to get you._

Her body was still recovering from the flu, but with those thoughts her stomach lurched and she jumped from the bed. Running to her bathroom, Lexa leant over her toilet and dispatched all of yesterday’s food into the bowl. She felt Clarke come up behind her and hold her hair back, rubbing circles into her back. Just as she had done a month ago at the engagement party.

When she finished, Lexa sunk against the wall behind her. She knew Clarke was probably confused and wondering what was going on.

But only one thing ran through Lexa’s mind over and over again.

 _Nia found Clarke_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit it's all happening the dominoes have started falling yall aint prepared!!!!! (also yea i kno its not really REALISTIC for royals to just send a pic of something they want painted to the painter but can we just pretend for the storyline's sake?? thanx) 
> 
> also hush is a FUCKING SICK movie highly recommend 
> 
> up next: lexa finds a cute drawing, clarke gets to work on her new portrait and octavia and lincoln SET A DATE!!!!!


	12. twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke tries to paint and Lexa struggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chap is dedicated to my new friend, paige! thanks for giving me the drawing scene idea, and for always being there to offer support :) x
> 
> enjoy yall x

**Clarke**

Lexa was shaking uncontrollably and Clarke had no idea why.

“Lex, what’s wrong?” Clarke asked desperately, grabbing one of Lexa’s hands. “Do you feel worse? Do you want me to take you to a doctor?”

The girl shook her head furiously and just stared up into Clarke’s eyes. Fear and worry were laced in them, and Clarke swore she had never seen Lexa this vulnerable. Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa’s waist, pulling her closer. Whatever was wrong, Lexa wouldn’t go through it alone.

After a few moments, Clarke wordlessly brought Lexa to her feet and walked over to sit on the bed. Lexa’s vulnerable face faded away, and Clarke saw the stoic mask she hadn’t seen in weeks slide on.

“Clarke, do you trust me?” Lexa asked, grabbing the blonde’s hands so tightly Clarke thought she may lose circulation.

Raising her brows, Clarke replied almost instantly, “Of course.”

“You cannot paint for the Regent of Polaris,” she stated bluntly.

Clarke was confused. This was what made Lexa sick? The job offer?

“And why not?” Clarke argued.

Lexa bit her lip and continued, “Call whoever it was back and say you aren’t doing the painting. And then block the number from your phone.”

“Why, Lexa? This job is a really good opportunity for me and -”

“Just do what I say Clarke!” Lexa interjected loudly.

Her mouth opening slightly at Lexa’s tone, Clarke dropped her hands angrily. Lexa’s face was steely and ice cold, and Clarke’s own eyes narrowed at the girl’s sudden change of mood.

“I _won’t_ do as you say. Not without an explanation.”

“You said you trusted me!” Lexa yelled.

“I do trust you! Why can’t you _trust me_ and tell me why you don’t want me taking the job?!” Clarke retorted. She _did_ trust Lexa - one hundred percent - but Clarke couldn’t just reject this _well-paying_ job for nothing. Lexa needed to give her something.

Lexa’s face melted slightly and Clarke saw the desperation returning to her eyes, “Please Clarke, don’t -”

“Give me a reason,” Clarke stated sternly.

“I can’t,” Lexa growled, averting her eyes from Clarke’s.

Standing up abruptly, Clarke glared at Lexa and stated icily, “Call me if you change your mind, Lex.”

Storming out of the room, and then Lexa’s apartment, Clarke slammed the door and almost tore her own down going in. She was beyond pissed off. Lexa had stuff she didn’t want Clarke to know, and usually Clarke was okay with that, but it was getting old.

If they were going to continue whatever they had going, there couldn’t be room for secrets. Clarke had opened herself up to Lexa in the last two months, and she’d only ever received bits and pieces in return. It was like there was a whole chunk of Lexa’s mind that Clarke hadn’t seen.

“Raven! I need a bloody drink!”

*

“I’ve decided we’re having a Halloween party this year,” Raven announced a few days later at breakfast.

Clarke groaned and swallowed her toast, “Do we _have_ to, Raven?”

“Just because you and Lexa are fighting doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t have fun, boo,” Raven said with a smile to a nearby Anya. “Plus if you guys make up, you can get matching costumes.”

Rolling her eyes and trying not to imagine her and Lexa in matching costumes, Clarke exasperated, “I don’t see that happening in the foreseeable future.”

Things were still tense between the girls, they’d spoken through text and shady posts on Twitter, but Clarke refused to back down. And despite Lexa’s very vocal demands, Clarke had gotten to work on the painting for Nia Trigeda.

Looking at her phone, Clarke noticed that Lexa had texted her.

**Lexa Woods: Can we go and get lunch?**

**Lexa Woods: And talk face to face.**

**Lexa Woods: Because not only do we have much to discuss, but I also miss your face very much.**

Clarke’s smiled slightly at the last text and typed out her reply.

**Klark: I’ve got work to do on the portrait.**

Clarke wasn’t lying – in the three days since Fredrick sent through the photo of Nia and her nephew, Raegon, Clarke had barely down an outline of the bodies. She hadn’t really studied the image, but as Fredrick was yet to give her a deadline, Clarke figured she could spare a few days to wallow and be grumpy.

**Lexa Woods: I see.**

“Throw the girl a bone, Clarke,” Raven said over her shoulder.

Smacking the girl for reading her texts, Clarke hastily typed out a reply.

**Klark: Come over at 12, Ranya will be gone by then.**

“Oh we will, will we?” Raven remarked with a smirk, sitting on Anya’s lap.

Clarke raised her eyebrows, “Do I even need to mention how many times I’ve been forced out of here, just so you guys can have sex?”

Anya smiled and said, “And is that why we’re leaving? So you and my little cousin can do the dirty?”

“No!” Clarke exclaimed. “We’re not ready for that. And plus, we’re fighting. Fighting people don’t have sex.”

“But angry sex is the best sex,” Raven said with a cheeky smile. “Right babe?”

Anya elbowed Raven and turned to Clarke, “Griff listen - I know how much it sucks that Lexa doesn’t tell you every last detail of her life… But don’t let it stand between you.”

Rolling her eyes again, Clarke said harshly, “So what? I’m supposed to just let it go?”

“Yes,” Anya stated bluntly. “As much as it pains you – let it go. In time, Lexa _will_ tell you more about herself, her family, her home. But until then, providing you still want to be with her, let it go.”

Anya’s words were a harsh truth that Clarke hadn’t particularly wanted to hear. She’d hoped that Lexa would crack and just tell her whatever it was, but Anya had basically just told her that wasn’t going to happen.

 _Let it go_ was her only option if she wanted Lexa in her life.

Clarke didn’t think she could.

**Lexa**

As soon as Clarke slammed the door, Lexa’s frustrations boiled over and she had to physically stop herself from storming after the blonde. Why couldn’t Clarke just trust her? Why did everything have to be so god damn complicated? It was obvious that Lexa needed to tell Clarke. As soon as things picked up the pace, she should’ve come clean. But Lexa was being selfish. It wasn’t only Clarke’s safety that concerned her – it was also the nagging fear that Clarke would leave her if she told her. There was a slim chance of that, but the risk was still there and Lexa didn’t know if she was prepared for that outcome.

But it wasn’t only Clarke that Lexa worried for now. If Nia was getting closer, and using Clarke as some sort of bait for Lexa, there was no way Raegon was safe in Polaris.

_“Indra, get him out now! If I can’t go back, bring him to TonDC. He can live here with me until you have the case together,” Lexa exclaimed over the phone._

_Indra was quiet for a few moments before answering, “No, Prisa. The logical thing is for you to_ leave _TonDC; just as we discussed. It’s not safe anymore. Not for you and certainly not for Raegon.”_

 _“I don’t care about logical, Indra, and this isn’t about_ me _and my safety – it’s about Raegon and the fact that Nia plans on taking him out any day now,” Lexa said harshly._

_“Prisa, I urge you -”_

_Lexa interrupted the woman rudely, “Indra, if you don’t bring my brother to me, I’m going to go and get him myself. I’ll book a plane right now and go. He hasn’t been safe since the day I left him, and I was so stupid to ever think Nia would keep to her word. At least if he were here with me, I would be able to protect him myself.”_

Indra had reluctantly agreed to working on a plan to evacuate Raegon from Polaris after Lexa’s threat, and whilst Lexa knew it would be a difficult task, if anyone could do it – it was Indra. Raegon would not be happy about the escape, what with his own lover in Nia’s grasp, but getting him safe was Lexa’s top priority.

“Lexa?” Octavia asked, snapping her fingers in front of her face. “Earth to Lexa!”

Turning her eyes to the small brunette in front of her, Lexa blinked a few times and said, “Sorry, Octavia. What were you saying?”

Lincoln gripped the small girl’s waist tighter as he stared curiously at Lexa. She was at the couple’s apartment to discuss wedding plans, and so far all Lexa had done was stare absentmindedly at the wall.

“I was asking you whether we should have the wedding on the beach or in the forest chapel?” Octavia asked again.

Lexa’s eyebrows quirked and she responded, “Beach weddings are beautiful, but messy – sand will be everywhere.”

Lincoln nodded and said in agreement, “She’s right, O. If we have it in the chapel, we can just set up a canopy outside for the reception also. We can dance beside the trees.”

Lexa watched as Octavia’s eyebrows knitted together, her brain clearly ticking away at the possibilities, before she spoke again, “Imagine how _badass_ we’re going to look in our foresty wedding photos.”

Smiling, Lexa winked at Lincoln before grabbing her phone off the table and checking for new messages. There was none. Clarke had not replied to her ‘goodnight beautiful’ text, and Lexa was about to crack and double text her. Things had been tense since their fight about the painting, and their only communication was by way of snappy texts and petty Twitter posts.

“Lexa, we invited you over to help! If you get lost in Clarke world again I swear I’ll throw your phone out of the window,” Octavia growled.

Lexa’s face blushed and she hastily typed out not one, but three texts to the girl requesting they finally meet and talk face to face.

“I’m sorry, Octavia,” Lexa said sincerely.

Lincoln shot Octavia a look before addressing Lexa, “It’s fine, cousin. We can wait.” Lexa’s small smile at Lincoln turned into a frown with Clarke’s reply.

**Klark: I’ve got work to do on the portrait.**

The words ‘the portrait’ bought bile to Lexa’s mouth.

**Lexa Woods: I see.**

Clarke’s reply took a bit longer than the first, and Lexa assumed the conversation was over. Until her phone popped up once more and she let out a breath she hadn’t known she was holding.

**Klark: Come over at 12, Ranya will be gone by then.**

Shutting off her phone, Lexa turned to her cousin and his fiancée and said, “Right. Let’s plan a wedding.”

*

Two hours later, the ‘Wedding Squad’ (Octavia’s lame new nickname for the threesome) had only really decided on three things – the date, the location and the guest list. When Octavia said she wanted a January wedding, Lexa almost died.

“January 12th to be exact,” Octavia said fiercely. Lincoln shrugged at Lexa’s heightened eyebrows and shocked eyes.

Four months to plan a wedding, the squad had some work to do.

As Lexa was leaving for Clarke’s, Lincoln pulled her aside and said, “Before you go, I was wondering…”

Raising her eyebrows, Lexa urged, “Go on.”

“Would you be my best man?” he asked with a small smile. “I was going to ask Bellamy, but it just didn’t feel right. You’re my best friend, Lexa. And you’re my cousin, even if we don’t share the same blood.”

Lexa smiled largely and hugged her cousin, “Of course, I will be Lincoln. It would be an honour.”

Leaving the apartment with what seemed like a permanent smile, Lexa felt so heart warmed by Lincoln that she almost forgot she was going to see Clarke. Clarke who was very angry at her. Clarke who was probably going to chew her ear off the minute she stepped through the door.

Making a quick stop at the florist, Lexa knocked on Clarke’s door at exactly twelve with fresh flowers in one hand and milk chocolate (Clarke’s favourite), in the other.

“Lexa,” Clarke greeted. When Lexa handed her the gifts, she watched as the blonde struggled not to smile. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome,” Lexa replied, leaning in to kiss Clarke’s cheek. She did not reject Lexa’s touch, and Lexa took it as a positive sign.

But when Clarke walked over to place the flowers in a vase, she turned to Lexa and said, “Presents are nice. But you’re not off the hook.”

Lexa nodded and walked over to the kitchen to stand near the girl. Lexa had not realised how much she had become reliant on Clarke’s presence. How just being around Clarke, soothed almost all of Lexa’s fears.

Placing her hand on Clarke’s now vacant one, Lexa closed her eyes and repeated the same mantra over and over.

Clarke was here. Clarke was unharmed. Clarke did not yet know the danger she was in.

She did not open her eyes until she felt Clarke’s other hand come up to cup her cheek. Staring into the deep blue, Lexa couldn’t help but lean forward and press her lips to Clarke’s.

Clarke returned the kiss but soon after removed her lips and hand from Lexa’s reach. She watched as the girl wandered over to the far part of the lounge room and sat in front of a canvas. Lexa averted her eyes from the canvas, not wanting to see any part of it, and they landed on Clarke’s fridge. Looking closer, Lexa noticed a small childlike drawing hanging up.

Taking it off the magnet, Lexa examined the two small figures and her heart started racing. The girl in the drawing was wearing a deep red dress and had windy yellow hair, whilst the boy was dressed in what appeared to be armour and had a large sword at his side. However, what made Lexa’s heart beat faster was the two small crowns on top of their heads.

_Prince and Princess – by Clarke Griffin_

“My mom hung it up yesterday when she came by,” Clarke said as Lexa shakily walked towards her. “I was _obsessed_ with fairy tales. Always thought one day a prince would come and sweep me off my feet.”

Lexa smiled at the blonde as she sat on the lounge with the drawing in hand. Tracing her fingers over the small figures curly yellow hair, all of Lexa’s fears about Clarke leaving her dissipated. If this was Clarke’s childhood dream, surely she would be happy that Lexa was a Prisa. She could tell Clarke. She _would_ tell Clarke.

“Perhaps a prince will,” Lexa said slowly. “Or maybe a princess instead?”

“Shut up,” Clarke chuckled. “It was a stupid childhood fantasy.”

Lexa’s smile faltered, but she continued, “It’s not stupid, Clarke.”

“Well it’s never going to happen. Plus I’m with you now, why would I want some prissy prince or princess?” Clarke said. Lexa suspected Clarke did not realise what she had said until after the words had left her mouth.

_I’m with you now._

Smiling, Lexa did not let Clarke correct herself, “Yes, it would be a shame if someone swept you away from me.”

Clarke returned Lexa’s smile before turning back to her painting, she picked up the photo and passed it to Lexa. Placing the drawing down on the table, Lexa grasped the photo with trembling fingers. Pressing her finger to Raegon’s face, Lexa’s nose tingled and her eyes spiked with tears.

He was just as Lexa had seen on the television two months ago, all strong jawline and curly blonde hair. Raegon was resembling Orin more and more every day.

“What is it about this portrait that you don’t want me painting? What is it about the Regent that has you so tangled up?” Clarke questioned as Lexa looked at the picture. “I know you’re from Polaris. I guessed that much. Did she do something to your family while you were there?”

Lexa tightened her lips and said, “I guess you could say that.”

“Then tell me and I’ll scrap this painting right now,” Clarke said fiercely.

“I want to tell you, Clarke,” Lexa admitted. “But I need to know that you aren’t going to run away once I do.”

Clarke’s eyebrows raised and she whispered, “Lexa, nothing you could say would make me leave you.”

Lexa felt a tear escape from her eye at Clarke’s words and she felt Clarke’s hand wipe it away. Leaning into the hand, Lexa pressed a small kiss to it.

“I’m not who I say I am,” Lexa started. Clarke’s eyes were unreadable and Lexa swallowed the lump in her throat, but before she could continue, her phone started buzzing.

Looking down at the ‘No Caller Id’, Lexa said softly, “Hold on, I need to get this.”

Sliding to answer the phone, Lexa said, “Hello?”

“Hello, Prisa,” replied a deep husky voice.

Her breath hitched at the word and Lexa suddenly couldn’t breathe. Moving away from Clarke, Lexa demanded into the phone, “Who is this? What do you want?”

“Hush now, we don’t want your pretty blonde girlfriend getting hurt now, would we?” the voice responded. “My name is Roan, and I’m here to deliver a message from Nia.”

 _Nia_.

“What message?” Lexa growled.

Roan was silent for a few moments before answering, “Apartment 38, level 20, Jaha Rd, TonDC.”

Clarke’s address. He knew her address. And if he knew Clarke’s address, Nia did too. Turning slowly to look at the confused blonde on the lounge, Lexa felt anger spread throughout her whole body. 

“Tell her to stay the fuck away from Clarke,” Lexa snarled quietly into the phone. “She has nothing to do with any of this.”

“She has everything to do with this, Prisa. You took something of Nia’s so she now wants to take something of yours,” Roan continued.

What on earth was Roan talking about? Lexa hadn’t done anything, she’d been biding – Raegon. Indra got him out. It was the only thing Lexa could think of that would rile Nia up so much. Pure happiness for Raegon’s safety lit Lexa up, before she realised the danger Clarke was now in.

“If you touch a _hair_ on Clarke’s head, I will slit the throat of everyone you love while you watch,” Lexa growled. Fierce protectiveness for Clarke had taken over, and her whole body shook with rage. 

“Threats aren’t very ladylike, Prisa,” Roan said calmly, obviously not feeling threatened by Lexa at all. “Clarke is safe, so long as you give back what you took.”

Give Raegon to Nia, or sacrifice Clarke.

“Go fuck yourself,” was Lexa’s answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was a hoe for lexa this chap, more clarke next chap promise. AND i kno i kno LEXA NEEDS TO TELL CLARKE - she will, and sooooon but she's in a bit of a bloody pickle aight
> 
> also roan's appearance was totally unplanned, but somehow fits in really well????? idk if yall like it but i did???
> 
> shoot me a message on trigedaslengslut.tumblr.com :)


	13. thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa define the relationship. (among other things)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda a filler chap, but cute and fluffy and a lil smutty all the same

**Lexa**

“Go fuck yourself,” Lexa snarled into the phone as she slammed her finger on the _end call_ button. Nia was not winning this round. Lexa wouldn’t allow it. She was going to protect Clarke and Raegon; neither of them had to be sacrificed this time.

Walking back to Clarke, who was fidgeting with her hands on the lounge, “How much did you hear?”

Her blonde head snapped up and she said quietly, “Nothing.”

“Lies,” Lexa replied, sitting next to her and grabbing both of Clarke’s hands in her own. “I know all of this must be so confusing to you.”

Lexa watched the nod of Clarke’s head, but before she could continue Clarke spoke up, “You’re not going to tell me anything now, are you?”

“I am, Clarke. I’m going to tell you everything,” Lexa said staring into Clarke’s eyes firmly. “But right now, I need to go and sort some things out.”

Clarke looked away, clearly frustrated and sad. Lexa lifted her hand up to trace Clarke’s cheek before bringing her closer and touching Clarke’s forehead with her lips.

“Just give me a few more days, so I can get my shit together. And then I’ll tell you whatever you want to know, I promise,” Lexa reassured the blonde.

“Can I just ask you one question?” Clarke asked, looking into Lexa’s eyes. At Lexa’s small nod, Clarke continued, “What did you mean by ‘I’m not who I say I am’?”

Lexa took in a heavy breath, before speaking up, “I’m not an escaped convict or in the CIA, if that’s what you’re thinking. But there’s a side of me that you need to know about. _Soon_.”

Clarke nodded in acceptance and Lexa brought her lips to Clarke’s plush pink ones, sweetly pressing down.

“Lock the door behind me, and don’t let anyone in,” Lexa commanded, with a strong voice. “I mean it. No one except Raven or the gang.”

“You’re so dramatic, Lex,” Clarke said with a smile. Lexa squeezed her hands before leaving the apartment. She didn’t move from the doorway until she heard Clarke lock it. Lexa wasn’t taking any chances. Roan knew Clarke’s whereabouts, and was probably already plotting Clarke’s murder. The thought made Lexa sick, and the fact that she had to leave her to call Indra made her sicker.

But Indra needed to know about Nia and Roan, and Lexa needed answers on her brother.

Rushing into her own apartment and taking out her burner, she dialled Indra’s number and was surprised when Indra didn’t answer until the fifth ring.

“Prisa,” Indra greeted. “I was just about to call you.”

“Where’s my bro?” Lexa demanded. “Where’s Raegon?”

There was a short silence before Indra continued, “He’s in transit. We got him and his girlfriend out of Polaris in the night.”

_Him and his girlfriend?_

“His girlfriend wasn’t a part of the plan, Indra.”

“Did you really think the hainofa would go without her?” Indra said in a stern voice. “The only way he’d let my people take him was if Selena was at his side.”

“I shouldn’t have expected less from Raegon,” Lexa breathed out. “Where are the girl and my bro staying?”

Lexa paced around her bedroom, her mind struggling to process all the bombshells of today.

“In the Woods’ place. I can have him transferred to your apart-”

“No!” Lexa interrupted abruptly. “It’s not safe for him here anymore.”

“Prisa?” Indra urged. “What’s going on?”

Lexa bit her lip, “I got a call today. From one of Nia’s spies. Nia knows of Clarke’s whereabouts.”

Indra did not speak for a long while, and Lexa’s anxiety grew more and more by the second. When the woman still did not speak, Lexa decided to keep going, “Roan, the spy, wants me to trade Raegon for Clarke’s safety. I told him to go and fuck himself.”

“I told you, Prisa. I told you getting involved with someone would lead to this,” Indra finally replied. “Nevertheless, I agree. We will keep Raegon in the Woods’ custody. You will need to go there also, before we move the three of you to a safe house.”

“No, Indra. I must stay and protect Clarke,” Lexa persisted. “I will go and visit Raegon, to make sure he is safe and happy. But I must stay here. I made my decision pretty damn clear and Roan is probably already plotting his next move.”

“Then bring the girl with you!” Indra yelled. “I don’t like it, but if it’s the only way you’ll go, then I don’t care anymore!”

Lexa was slightly taken aback by Indra’s words. Indra was allowing Clarke to come to the safe house with them? The thought delighted Lexa, both of the people she cared for most in the world, safe under one roof. But the question remained – would Clarke go?

“Let me gather my things and … tell Clarke. Then we will go,” Lexa said firmly.

“November 7th, 9am. There will be a car waiting outside your apartment. I expect you and _Clarke_ to be ready and waiting,” Indra commanded.

Lexa sucked in a deep breath. Two weeks. More than enough time to tell Clarke and pack her things.

“Thank you, Indra.”

Fourteen days was also more than enough time for Roan to plan and carry out an attack on Clarke. But Lexa wasn’t about to let that happen.

Pulling out her phone, she texted the blonde hastily.

**Lexa Woods: Come over?**

Clarke’s reply was almost instant.

**Klark: Be there in ten x**

Sure enough, ten minutes later a casually dressed Clarke knocked on her door. Opening it immediately and pulling the blonde in. Lexa embraced her and kissed her heavily on the lips. Clarke deepened the kiss, kicking the door shut and pushing her body up against Lexa’s front. Gripping Clarke’s hips, Lexa pulled her even closer. The sudden intensity of their kiss causing her body to heat up.

When Clarke suddenly pulled away, Lexa snarled at the loss.

“What was that for? I thought we were fighting?” Clarke asked with a sly smirk.

“I didn’t think we were fighting anymore,” Lexa said with a sigh. Kicking off her shoes, she walked into her bedroom. Taking off her clothes, she heard Clarke walk in behind her. Lexa could feel Clarke’s eyes on her, but said nothing as she slipped into one of Clarke’s hoodies and booty shorts.

Clarke collapsed on Lexa’s bed and turned on the television, already flipping through the movies. Lexa was confused. She’d expected Clarke to be prying answers out of her by now. Snuggling in beside the girl, Lexa gripped Clarke tightly. She wanted to just hold Clarke. To know that in _this_ moment, Clarke was safe.

“So … about earlier,” Lexa began as Clarke went on to the kids and family section of Netflix.

“Shh,” Clarke hushed. “I want to just watch a movie and cuddle with my girlfriend, just for a couple hours. And then you can drop whatever bomb it is on me.”

Lexa smiled at the word and looked up at the girl, “Girlfriend, huh? I don’t recall you ever asking me.”

Clarke blushed, and said, “Well I just figured you know. We do everything together, take selfies and go on dates and we kiss a lot. Like a lot. And I don’t know I just assumed, I’m sorry if you don’t want to be official than that is -”

Reaching up and kissing Clarke, Lexa sat up and basically sat on Clarke’s legs before saying, “Just ask me, Clarke. You already know the answer.”

Clarke chuckled and said, “Even though you are potentially a serial killer on the run, or an undercover cop, or a secret Polarian government produced clone,” Lexa shot her a glare before Clarke continued, “Will you be my girlfriend?”

“Sha, Klark,” Lexa answered, pecking Clarke on the mouth. In this moment with Clarke, Lexa had almost forgotten about the forthcoming war with Nia, her brother’s escape and Roan’s impending attack on Clarke. All she knew was that Clarke was _hers_. And maybe after Lexa told her the truth, Clarke would no longer want her. But for now, Lexa was perfectly content.

Clarke shifted Lexa over onto the other side of the bed and said, “Great, now that’s over and done with. Can we get back to watching a movie?”

Lexa chuckled and brought her arms back around Clarke.

“Princess Diaries or Princess Protection Squad?” Clarke asked wiggling her brows up and down.

*

**Clarke**

It had been five days since Lexa became her girlfriend. _Officially_ at least. And Lexa still hadn’t told her what was going on. But part of Clarke also no longer wanted to know what Lexa was hiding. What if it was so horrifying she’d never look at Lexa the same again?

Nevertheless, Clarke had spent three of the last five nights and days in Lexa’s apartment, and the other two in her own, but with Lexa lounging off somewhere with a book. Clarke wasn’t complaining, she loved being around Lexa, and thoroughly enjoyed her company. However, she had noticed some strange things.

Like, whenever the door system rang and Clarke went to get it, Lexa would stand close and listen to who was talking. Her body only relaxing once the voice revealed themselves to be Octavia or Lincoln.

And when they left the building for groceries or to go and see a movie, Lexa would hold Clarke closer than usual, always having a hand protectively around her waist. The brunette’s green eyes were always constantly scanning, always on the lookout for something.

All of this didn’t make Clarke feel suffocated, it made her feel like Lexa was protecting her from something. Whenever Clarke asked, Lexa would simply say, “Later, Clarke.” But later never came, because Clarke would get too involved with a painting, or with Lexa’s body to ask again.

She’d emailed Fredrick, telling him that she could no longer do the painting. For whatever reason, Lexa _did not_ want Clarke working for the Regent. Clarke knew she was hurting the girl by continuing the painting, and even though she still was yet to have answers, Clarke decided Lexa was more important.

“Clarke, do we _have_ to dress up?” Lexa whined as the entered the costume store. Clarke had told her about her and Raven’s Halloween Party, and about the couple’s costume competition. Clarke had a fire to win, but Lexa couldn’t care less.

“Yes, you big baby,” Clarke said. “I mean, if you _really_ don’t want to, I could always go with Bellamy.”

Lexa’s face darkened and she glared at Clarke, “I hate you.”

Clarke grinned and walked away from Lexa into the women’s section, looking for the two costumes she had already planned for them to wear. Lexa’s hand came to rest on her back, and Clarke watched out of the corner of her eye as Lexa scanned the shop.

Pulling out the first one, Clarke held it up with a huge smile, “It’s just as I imagined.”  

Lexa grabbed the costume Clarke held out for her and smiled, “I should’ve known you’d think of something like this.”

“Try it on,” Clarke urged.

“I’m sure it’ll fit,” Lexa insisted, her eyes roaming the room once more.

“Babe,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “I’ll be fine here for two minutes.”

Lexa nodded slowly and disappeared into the change rooms. Grabbing her own costume off the rack, Clarke went in and tried it on herself. Too focused on the task at hand, she didn’t hear Lexa pull back the curtain and sneak in.

“You look so _fucking_ good,” the girl purred into her ear.

Clarke half jumped in surprise, but as she took in how Lexa looked in her costume, Clarke’s surprise turned into lust.

“Not as good as you,” Clarke replied shakily. Staring back into the mirror at the both of them, Clarke smiled and continued, “There’s _no way_ we’re not winning that competition.”

“Agreed,” Lexa said pushing Clarke into the wall behind her. Clarke moaned as Lexa’s lips touched her collarbone, then the base of her neck. And when Lexa sucked on the spot she knew Clarke loved the most, Clarke twisted her leg around Lexa’s. The action made Clarke’s other thigh rest in between Lexa’s, and Clarke felt the vibrations of Lexa’s moan on her neck. Pushing in slightly more, Clarke raked her hands through Lexa’s hair.

When Lexa finally let up, Clarke slid her tongue in Lexa’s mouth hungrily. Clarke’s desire for Lexa had only increased further as they made things official. They hadn’t spoken about sex, not since Lexa’s confession that night almost a month ago. And though Clarke wanted it, and wanted it _bad_ , she was waiting for Lexa to be completely ready.

Slowly easing up the kiss, Clarke pushed Lexa’s body off her own and said, “We’re in public.”

“That’s our specialty, babe,” Lexa replied cheekily before flashing her a wink and disappearing into her own changing room.

After putting her normal clothes back on and meeting Lexa at the line to pay, she noticed a familiar man walk into the store.

“Lex, hide the costumes!” Clarke yelled in a whisper. Lexa looked confused, but then noticed Lincoln and Octavia. Clarke gave her costume to Lexa who quickly shoved them in her shirt. She was aware that this may have looked like stealing, but Lexa and Clarke weren’t about to let the competition see their outfits.

“Look who it is,” Octavia said raising an eyebrow and walking over to them. “Got your costumes, I see. Give us a peek.”

“I don’t think so,” Lexa growled. “You may not enter once you see what we have planned.”

Clarke laughed at Lexa’s seriousness and turned to Lincoln, “Control your woman, Linc.”

“Control _yours_ ,” he replied with a smirk. “Come on, O. Talk later, Clarke.”

“Lex, come on we gotta pay,” Clarke said. Lexa and Octavia were jokingly glaring at each other and Clarke had to pull Lexa away to the front of the counter. She quickly waved goodbye to Lincoln and wished him luck under her breath.

*

“Are you staying here tonight, Clarke?” Lexa asked a few hours later.

“Do I have a choice?” Clarke replied jokingly. Lexa shook her head and leaned over to kiss the blonde. Clarke responded eagerly, deepening the kiss and pressing her body closer. Lexa reached up and placed her hands underneath Clarke’s shirt, boldly. Clarke stopped the kiss at Lexa’s touch, and looked up at the girl with confused eyes.

Lexa said, “I want to touch you.”

At this admission, Clarke brought Lexa’s hands back up to her waist and leaned in to kiss her again. Before Clarke could deepen the kiss, Lexa suddenly pulled Clarke’s shirt up over her head. She watched as Lexa threw it on the floor and took off her own top, before pushing Clarke back on the lounge. Lexa’s lips claimed hers and Clarke raked her hand up Lexa’s waist before settling underneath the girl’s bra.

“You can – take it – off,” Lexa breathed out between kisses. Clarke’s hands were shaky but she made quick work of Lexa’s lace bralette. She disconnected her lips from Lexa’s and slid off the bra, keeping her eyes trained on Lexa’s as she threw the garment with their shirts.

Lexa sat up a bit, and Clarke moved her eyes to the bare chest in front of her. Before she could stop herself, Clarke pounced forward, grabbing one Lexa’s breasts in her mouth and the other with her hand. Lexa moaned above her, slowly grinding her knee into Clarke’s centre. As she suckled on the breast, she felt Lexa’s hands come behind her and undo her own bra.

As the brunette took it off, Clarke revelled in the feeling of being so exposed with Lexa. She loved watching Lexa’s eyes widen at Clarke’s bare chest, and she loved hearing her sharp intakes of breath as she gripped her breast.

Pulling Lexa closer, and moulding their lips together, Clarke ventured her hand to Lexa’s jeans. Undoing the button, she felt Lexa shimmy out of them and discard them on the floor. Pressing her hand up against Lexa’s underwear and feeling the moisture already seeping through, Clarke kissed Lexa deeper.

Flipping them over so Clarke was on top, Lexa made quick work of Clarke’s jean button. Pulling them off, Clarke felt Lexa’s long slender fingers cup her centre, just as she had weeks earlier. Clarke’s body was hot and her centre was throbbing wildly at Lexa’s touch. Grinding into Lexa’s hand, Clarke could barely reciprocate the kisses Lexa was giving her. Her movements were messy and all she could think of was how close Lexa was to touch her skin to skin. Moving her own hand down to Lexa, she pushed her fingers down the lace of Lexa’s underwear.

“Klark, hod op,” Lexa slurred in Polarian. Clarke had gotten somewhat used to the language and knew that the word meant _stop._

Instantly jumping away from Lexa, Clarke asked, “Too far?”

Lexa nodded slightly and said, “I want this so bad, Clarke. But…”

“But what, Lexa?” Clarke urged. She suddenly felt uncomfortable about being bare but for her underwear, and hastily covered her breasts with her hands.

Lexa looked away from her and said, “I just… what if I’m not good at it? I have no idea what I’m doing.”

Clarke smiled and reached over to cup Lexa’s cheek, “I don’t care, Lex.”

“But I do, Clarke! I want it to be good for you,” Lexa admitted shyly.

Clarke stared at Lexa for a long time. What could she possibly say to that? She knew Lexa was going to be amazing no matter what, but Clarke didn’t want to pressure her.

“Lexa everything you do is good for me,” Clarke said bluntly. “But, we don’t have to do anything today okay? Not until your 100% ready.”

Lexa brought Clarke’s body to hers, and whispered harshly, “But I _am_ ready.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe, theyre gonna bang so soon. so as said earlier, kinda a filler chap but SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET REAL. yall arent gonna be able to handle next chapter or the chapter after that bc WHOA
> 
> love you guys xx


	14. fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa go to a party. They leave early for obvious reasons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut is here yall. also wait for the end :)))))

**Lexa**

“Ouch, Clarke! That was my eye!” Lexa exclaimed in discomfort as Clarke poked the liquid liner on Lexa’s eye slightly.

“Sorry babe, it’s really difficult doing it on someone else,” Clarke apologised. All Lexa wanted was a simple cat wing, but Clarke was taking a _long_ time. They had to go back to Clarke’s in an hour to set up before the party, but Lexa hadn’t even curled her dark red wig yet.

“Alright, I’m done,” Clarke said triumphantly, shoving the mirror in Lexa’s face. Lexa smiled as she admired Clarke’s work. It was simple, just as her character had hers, but the added angle to her eyebrows and cat-eye wings stood out.

“I love it, Clarke,” Lexa said, hugging the blonde. “Thank you.”

Clarke smiled and kept her eyes on Lexa as they parted. Ever since Lexa’s ‘I’m ready’ confession, two days ago there was a lingering sense of longing and sexual tension between them.

_“But I am ready,” Lexa whispered._

_Almost instantly Lexa watched Clarke’s mouth open and her eyes go wide. “Like ready right now? But you just said…”_

_Lexa chuckled and continued, “I’m ready Clarke.”_

_“Oh,” is all the blonde said._

_Moving slightly away and crossing her arms, Lexa said, “You changed your tune fast, Clarke. You literally just had your hands down my pants.”_

_Clarke reached out to Lexa again, but when Lexa shrugged her off, she replied, “I know, Lex. But-”_

_“But?”_

_“But, it’s your first time. I want to make it special.”_

Fast forward two days, and Clarke still hadn’t deemed a time ‘special’ enough. But Lexa didn’t care about the time or place, all she cared about was that it was Clarke. Sure, she was still incredibly nervous, but how was she supposed to learn if she never tried?

“Go get dressed, babe,” Clarke whispered, moving past Lexa to apply her own make up. Lexa smiled slightly before moving into her room and pulling out her costume. There were four pieces to her costume; light green tights with ivy leaves printed embedded in them, a dark green strapless leotard with a built in bra, black heeled boots and the dark red wig.

After curling the wig into perfect sultry curls, Lexa changed into the rest of the costume and took several selfies in her costume. Venturing out into the lounge room, she could see Clarke tying her blonde her up into two ponytails. Lexa noticed she had already used pink and blue hair chalk on her ends, and that her makeup was completed. She was slightly envious of the fact that Clarke got to be more adventurous in it.

“Thank god you’re done. You look _fucking_ hot,” Clarke said, nodding in approval. Lust written all over her face. “Come help me put on these fake tattoos. But be careful not to wet too much of my face.”

Lexa nodded and took the tattoos off the blonde. Applying the love heart underneath Clarke’s eye, pressing the wet cloth lightly against it. The next tattoo was of the word ‘rotten’ and Clarke instructed Lexa to put it along her jawline. Lexa smiled at how into the costumes Clarke was. Did she want to beat Raven that bad, or did she genuinely enjoy this?

“Thanks,” Clarke said with a kiss to Lexa’s cheek, before scurrying off to get changed into her own four piece costume.

Pulling out her burner phone, which she had been carrying around as of late. She noticed two missed calls from Indra.

They were likely about Clarke and Raegon and Selena and how Lexa really should hurry up and go to the safe house. Lexa knew she was putting her brother and Clarke in danger by holding out on telling the blonde.

But she wanted Clarke to have fun at the party and not be worried about forthcoming war and death threats. She wanted Clarke, and secretly herself, to have one last normal night where they could drink and dance with their friends. One last normal night before everything gets turned upside down.

Lexa knew now that Clarke wouldn’t leave. If the drawing she found in Clarke’s apartment didn’t prove it, Clarke’s own words did.

_Nothing you could say would make me leave you._

The words never left Lexa’s mind.

Clarke emerged five minutes later, decked out in her costume. Her white crop read ‘Daddy’s Lil Monster’, and her baseball jacket matched the small red and blue sparkly booty shorts. Lexa’s eyes wandered down to the blonde’s legs, and she saw examined the fishnet stockings and high heeled converse.

“You done checking me out yet?” Clarke smirked.

“Almost,” Lexa replied, walking across the room to meet Clarke’s lips with her own. It was a small chaste kiss, before Clarke whipped out her phone and demanded Lexa get in for a selfie.

Walking back to Clarke’s apartment, the girls walked through the door to find Anya and Raven hanging up decorations. The place was almost completely decorated in spooky Halloween décor, with bats hanging from the ceiling and Halloween themed food all around the place.

Lexa admired Raven and Anya’s angel and devil costumes. Raven wore a blood red cape and tight black dress, with black horns on top of her head and knee high black boots. Whilst Anya donned a short white wrap dress, and large feathered wings. Her wings were to Lexa’s dismay, absolutely stunning. But whilst Ranya had put up a good fight, Clexa had won this round, no doubt about it.

“No _fucking_ way,” Raven shouted when she noticed Clarke and Lexa enter. “Harley fucking Quinn and Poison fucking Ivy.”

Lexa twirled her wig hair in her finger and smiled, “It was all Clarke’s idea.”

“You bet your ass it was,” Clarke said leaning in to peck Lexa on the cheek. “Can you take a picture of us? I want a full length shot.”

“Ahn, can you do it? I need to finish pinning up these stupid fucking miniature pumpkins,” Raven exasperated. Holding out both her own and Lexa’s phone, Lexa watched Anya take them from Clarke’s hands with a grumpy look.

“Come on Anya, your costumes are great,” Lexa said with a sly smile. “But ours are better.”

“Shut up, cousin,” Anya growled holding up Clarke’s phone.

Lexa barely had time to think about a pose before Clarke pulled her in for a kiss and she heard the photo click.

“Ew, Clarke. No PDA,” Lexa whined.

Clarke ignored her and put her arm around Lexa’s waist, pulling the taller girl closer and smiling widely. Lexa kept her eyes on Clarke, smiling slightly before turning back to Anya and posing with parted lips and narrowed eyes. After Anya switched to Lexa’s phone, they posed for a few more before reaching forward and taking the phones back.

Lexa scrolled through the _many_ photos Anya took, and decided to post a particularly cute one of the two girls holding hands. Anya had clearly taken it in between poses as their eyes were on each other and their mouths in wide in laughter, but it looked so natural that it was instantly Lexa’s favourite.

**@LexWoods: Halloween with my very own Harley Quinn. @ClarkeGriff x #luckiestwomanalive**

Lexa noticed Clarke had also posted one, although it was a much more in character photo with Lexa slightly glaring at the camera with a tilted head and Clarke smiling wildly with a finger twirled in one of her pigtails.

**@ClarkeGriff: Quinn & Red @LexWoods **

“Yours is so serious, Clarke,” Lexa remarked with a smile.

“I take Halloween very _seriously_ if you haven’t noticed.”

*

**Clarke**

The guests flowed in after that, with Octavia and Lincoln being the next to arrive. Clarke was surprised to see her best friend in a dress, until she realised their costumes. _Mr & Mrs Smith_. She grudgingly greeted them, after acknowledging that their costumes were ‘kinda good, but not as good as ours’.

Clarke and Raven were mingling with their guests, getting them involved with games and whatnot. But whenever Clarke looked over at Lexa, all she saw was the brunette staring straight at the door and monitoring every person that came in. Eventually, however, Clarke noticed that the girl was making her way over to Clarke, who was currently in the middle of an intense game of ‘Never Have I Ever’.

“Never have I ever had a threesome!” Jasper, Raven’s work friend, shouted.

Clarke looked at Lexa guiltily before taking a shot. She watched as Bellamy and Raven also downed drinks, happy that she wasn’t alone. Lexa was looking pointedly forward, her cheeks slightly blushing. Grabbing her hand, Clarke squeezed it and offered, “If this makes you uncomfortable we can go take shots on our own?”

Lexa shook her head and replied harshly, “No way, I’m looking forward to hearing about all of your wild sexual exploits, Clarke.”

Clarke rolled her eyes at Lexa’s tone and stared into her eyes whilst announcing the next one, “Never have I ever tripped over a sock and landed flat on my face.”

Lexa glared at her and took the shot, “Fuck you, Clarke. That was one time.”

“So was my ‘wild’ threesome,” Clarke retorted.

The game went on for another thirty minutes, in which time Clarke discovered that Monty had a crush on _Jasper_ before Miller, Raven and Anya had gotten _freaky_ with … things and Linctavia had only ever slept with _each other_.

However entertaining the game was, Clarke put a stop to it once she noticed Lexa was feeling left out. Instead Clarke offered up doing the costume competition before everyone got too drunk to walk.

Moving Clarke and Raven’s coffee table so that it was in the centre of the room, the girls began separating the guests into those who were entering and those who were cheering for who they thought deserved the win. It was no surprise to Clarke that it was only the main gang who wanted to enter. Everyone else had slapped together last minute costumes, but within Clarke’s little group it was basically war.

It had been declared that the winner will get supreme bragging rights and surprisingly that was more than enough to rile the group up.

Raven and Anya were the first ones to step up onto the table, with Devil Raven fake spanking Angel Anya on the ass. It was an amusing sight, Clarke had to admit and the crowd cheered quite a bit. Bellamy was next, dressed as Luke Skywalker and swiping his lightsaber around.

When Lexa screamed, “Nerd!” Clarke swore she’d never laughed so much in her life. He didn’t get quite as many cheers, but it was still a pretty good costume.

Clarke and Lexa stepped up after Bellamy jumped down and Clarke grabbed Lexa once there were on the coffee table. After pulling her close, Clarke turned around and ‘slut dropped’ in front of Lexa’s body. They got a lot of wolf-whistles and gasps, but Lexa didn’t seem embarrassed, instead she brought Clarke back up and moved her hips fluidly. The crowd around them went crazy but after a few moments, the girls stepped down to let Monty and Miller take the stage.

 Monty was dressed as Magnus Bane from the Mortal Instruments, whilst Miller donned ‘shadowhunter’ attire as Alec Lightwood. As they got into fighting stances around each other and ended up laughing more than they should, Clarke cheered along with her other guests.

Finally, Octavia and Lincoln stepped up and pulled out their fake guns. It was quite a sight watching Octavia pull the gun from the slit in her dress, and Clarke knew she was staring too much when Lexa elbowed her.

Staring up at the girl, Clarke was amused by Lexa’s narrowed eyes. “Sorry, babe.”

Lexa smiled slightly before turning back to watch Octavia and Lincoln facing off against each other. After they stood down, Jasper got up and said his piece.

“Alright folks, there we have it. When I point to a couple or uh… Bellamy, cheer for your favourite.”

Jasper left Clarke and Lexa for last, and Miller and Monty were currently leading. When Jasper pointed at the girls, Clarke squeezed onto Lexa’s hand and closed her eyes as the crowd cheered loudly for them.

“That was too close, I need a rerun,” Jasper shouted. “For Minty shout yay and for Clexa shout nay!”

Clarke listened to the shouts and half worried about a noise complaint. It was still too close, and Lexa yelled, “Just make it a draw who cares!”

“I care!” Clarke shouted back along with Miller.

“I agree,” Jasper said. “A draw it is! Congratulations guys, now let’s get drunk!”

The crowd dispersed again and the music got turned up a bit louder. Moving into the swarm of dancing bodies, Clarke clutched onto Lexa’s hand and pulled her into the crowd. Putting her hands on Lexa’s hips and moving them closer to hers. She felt Lexa’s arms go around her neck and Clarke was glad she was only slightly buzzed. She wanted to remember all of this.

“You’ve gotten good at this, Clarke,” Lexa remarked with a sultry smile that made Clarke’s knees wobbly.

Smiling, Clarke pulled the girl even closer before turning around so her back was against Lexa’s front. Moving her hips even more against the girl, Clarke felt Lexa’s hands clutch onto her hip bones even harder as the swayed to the beat.

When Lexa pulled back one of Clarke’s pigtails and kissed her neck harshly, Clarke had to bite back a moan. Lexa knew exactly what she was doing to Clarke by kissing _that spot_ on her neck, just as Clarke knew exactly what she was doing by grinding against the girl.

Clarke wasn’t expecting the movement when Lexa flipped her body back around to face her and leant her forehead against Clarke’s. Leaning up and kissing Lexa on the mouth, Clarke moved her hands to grasp at Lexa’s bottom.

“Clarke,” Lexa began.

“Mm?” was all Clarke could reply with.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Lexa whispered.

*

**Lexa**

Lexa was nervous. More nervous than she’d ever been in her life. Her hands would be shaking, but Clarke had clutched so tightly onto them that she could barely feel them. Lexa wondered if Clarke was as nervous as her. Probably not.

They were currently sneaking out of Clarke’s own party to go back to Lexa’s apartment, and Lexa was suddenly very glad she wasn’t drunk for once. She wanted to remember this.

Detaching from Clarke to open the door, Lexa’s hand already ached from the loss. As soon as Clarke was in the apartment, Lexa slammed the door shut and ripped off her boots and wig. She watched as Clarke did the same with her pigtails and heels, and then moved forward towards the girl pushing her lips to Clarke’s instantly.

The kiss deepened straight away, with both girls growing desperate for the other. Lexa swirled her tongue slowly in Clarke’s mouth, whilst threading her fingers through the blonde hair. She felt Clarke moving them towards the bedroom, and Lexa went with it.

When they entered, Clarke removed her mouth from Lexa’s and asked, “You’re sure?”

Sucking in a deep breath and smiling, Lexa replied, “Yes.”

With that Clarke reached for the zipper on Lexa’s strapless leotard, ripping it down. Lexa was startled by the girl’s ferocity, but turned on all the same. Slipping out of the leotard, leaving her breasts bare, Clarke pushed Lexa down on the bed and pulled off her tights. Lexa moaned at the small kisses Clarke left up her bare leg, and gripped tightly onto the bed as she edged towards her inner thigh.

“Klark,” Lexa breathed out. “Take your clothes off.”

“Make me,” Clarke purred. At this challenge, Lexa sat up and pushed Clarke’s jacket off roughly before basically ripping the crop top off her chest. Pushing Clarke down, just as the blonde had done to her seconds earlier, Lexa pulled the booty shorts and stockings off Clarke’s legs.

Crawling on top of Clarke, Lexa had barely touched her lips when Clarke flipped her over, straddling her legs. The blonde leaned over and began suckling on her neck as Lexa squirmed in pleasure. Bringing her hands around Clarke’s back, Lexa easily removed the black lace bra and threw it away. As Clarke continued kissing Lexa’s neck, Lexa grappled at Clarke’s newly bare breasts. She felt the vibrations of Clarke’s moan on her neck, and it made the throb between her thighs even harder. When Clarke moved her lips from Lexa’s neck to her lips and then down to her chest, Lexa was slightly confused but intrigued all the same.

“Klark? What are you – oh,” Lexa shakily said as Clarke’s intentions became clearer and clearer with each slow kiss down her body.

Clarke dipped a finger inside the waistband of Lexa’s underwear and looked up as if to say _‘is this okay’._ With Lexa’s soft nod, Clarke pulled the last piecing of clothing off her. Lexa felt Clarke immediately place her lips in between Lexa’s thighs.

At the new sensation, Lexa’s leg twitched slightly and she opened her mouth as Clarke moved her tongue in between her folds. Throwing back her head onto the pillows, she felt Clarke continue to move her tongue up and down, lapping up the moisture before settling on one place.

As Clarke rolled her tongue and sucked on Lexa’s clit, Lexa felt like every nerve in her body was on fire. She was biting her lip to hold back a moan but when Clarke’s finger began to circle her entrance, Lexa couldn’t help but moan out heavily.

“Beja, Klark,” Lexa whispered out, clutching the blankets so hard her knuckles turned white. But Clarke was hesitating, and Lexa did not immediately realise why. “What’s wrong?”

Was there something wrong with _Lexa_? Was that why Clarke had stopped?

“It’s just … I don’t want to hurt you,” Clarke whispered out softly.

Lexa smiled at the blonde’s concern, and replied, “I’ll be fine, Klark.”

Watching Clarke nod slowly, Lexa braced herself for the pain. She’d already known about the likelihood of pain. Anya had told her that all women’s first time would hurt, even if it was with a girl.

But when Clarke’s mouth returned to her sex, and her tongue back to her clit, Lexa’s body was half convulsing. She felt Clarke’s finger enter her and Lexa winced at the discomfort. Clarke obviously noticed as well, her finger immediately left her body.

Sitting up at the loss of contact, Lexa grabbed Clarke’s hand and placed it at her entrance again. Looking deeply into Clarke’s eyes, Lexa tried desperately to tell her it was okay. Clarke bit her lip and nodded before reaching up and kissing Lexa on the mouth. She tasted herself on Clarke’s lips and it only made the growing heat in her body build further.

She felt Clarke’s finger push into her once more, and Lexa didn’t wince at the pain this time. Clarke’s thumb was moving in circles against Lexa’s clit, and it detracted from the discomfort. After a few thrusts, Lexa was beginning to revel in the presence of Clarke’s finger inside her. Moaning quietly, she laid back against the pillows, the stirring in her abdomen growing stronger and stronger.

“More, Klark,” Lexa moaned, urging Clarke to keep going. Clarke obeyed and added another digit, thrusting deeply. Lexa felt like she wasn’t in control of her own body - her toes curling and breaths ragged. Her body felt like it was building up to something and when Clark curled her fingers inside of her, Lexa realised what it was.

Lexa came for the first time with a loud moan and twitching legs. It had felt like fireworks going off inside of her, like an explosions of all sensation.

Lexa vaguely felt Clarke climb up her body, but she was too dazed in her post orgasm state to move. When she felt Clarke’s lips at her though, a new fire started inside of Lexa. Kissing Clarke passionately, Lexa flipped them around so that she was on top of the blonde.

“You don’t have to, Lex,” Clarke muttered between kisses. “If you’re too tired-”

“As if,” Lexa growled, making her way down to Clarke’s inner thighs. Slipping her hand underneath Clarke’s underwear, Lexa slowly slid it down, taking in the new sight in front of her.

Looking back up at Clarke who was staring down at her with complete and utter lust in her eyes, her nerves from earlier slowly creeped back. Lexa didn’t know where to start, did she just follow what Clarke did to her? Did Clarke want something different?

Kissing Clarke’s thighs, and then placing her mouth between them, Lexa experimentally moved her tongue up and down. At Clarke’s instant moan, and the feeling of the blonde’s hands in her hair, Lexa continued the movements. Sucking lightly up and down Clarke’s sex, Lexa sought out her weak spot.

Clarke’s scream of, “Lexa!” was all she needed to hear to know she had found it. Running her tongue harder against Clarke’s clit, Lexa brought her hands up to grab Clarke’s thighs. With shaky hands she brought them to rest against her shoulders. Clarke seemed to enjoy the new position, and wrapped her legs together behind Lexa’s head.

Deciding to go a bit off course, Lexa experimentally pushed her tongue at Clarke’s entrance, eliciting a strong whimper from the blonde. Moving a hand to rub against Clarke’s clit, Lexa continued thrusting her tongue inside of Clarke, revelling in each moan she managed to draw out.

It didn’t take long for Clarke to breathe out, “I’m close, Lex.”

Lexa watched Clarke’s face as she came, and she swore it was the most amazing thing she’d ever seen.

After Clarke unwrapped her legs from Lexa’s body, Lexa crawled up next to the blonde and stared up at the ceiling.

“That was … educational,” Lexa smirked, turning to Clarke and smiling.

Clarke grinned and said, “Feel like learning some more?”

*

**Clarke**

The next morning Clarke rolled out of Lexa’s bed way too early. The brunette was still sleeping soundly next to her, and Clarke marvelled at the sight. Lexa’s brown curls sprawled crazily over the bed, and her bare back uncovered by the blanket made Clarke’s stomach bubble and her heart beat faster than usual.

Clarke’s thoughts drifted back to the night before, and a smile spread across her face. The sex had been great – phenomenal, even - but the new connection she felt with Lexa was even better. She hadn’t felt this close to anyone before.

Rifling through Lexa’s shirts and pulling on an oversize button down, Clarke slide on her underwear from last night and walked out to the kitchen. Lexa would probably be up soon, and Clarke wanted to surprise her with ‘thanks for the sex’ breakfast.

Clarke had just gotten out the pancake mix and bacon strips when someone began banging on Lexa’s door. Looking back at Lexa’s bedroom, Clarke walked over to the door and unlocked it, figuring it would just be Lincoln or Anya.

Opening the door, the face Clarke was met with was definitely _not_ Lincoln or Anya. She’d only ever seen him in a picture, but that face was unmistakable.

“Hello,” greeted the man.

Clarke’s mouth was still wide and questioning as all the pieces of Lexa’s puzzle finally fell into place. It had been so obvious. All the secrets, all the lies, everything had been right in front of her the whole time.

 _The eyes._ How could she have never noticed the eyes?

“I’m looking for my sister, Lexa. Does she live here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> asjnaksjnalfkam;fkca;vomsoivnsldvm;alsvnaljdvnaldjv aldjvn ive been waiting for that scene for five hundred centuries
> 
> if you guys didn't get the costume reference pls search up harley quinn and poison ivy rn on tumblr. bless femslash. bless dc. and bless clarke's brain for thinking of it.
> 
> also, the smut scene was intentionally awkward and overcaring on clarke's part, bc i wanted it to be realistic and all thaT JAZZ
> 
> HOPE YALL ENJOYED x


	15. fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> reunions are bittersweet and clarke struggles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope yall are still alive!!!! sorry it's been a few days, but i really wanted this chap to be perfect ahh

**Lexa**

Lexa woke up with a giddy smile across her face. Her bare body and the dull ache between her legs reminding her of what happened the night before. Placing her hand on Clarke’s half of the bed, Lexa found it to be still warm, though overwhelmingly empty. Sliding out of the bed and throwing on some booty shorts and Clarke’s grey hoodie, Lexa walked out of the room with the smile still firmly planted on her face.

“Clarke, are you making-” the words caught on Lexa’s tongue as she saw the person standing with Clarke in her doorway. “ _Raegon?_ ”

The world melted away and all Lexa saw was her brother standing there. Her brother that she hadn’t seen in six years. The only family she that she had left. It seemed like Raegon was having the same thoughts, his own mouth slightly open and eyes wide.

“Dria.”

And then Lexa was half running across the room, her arms immediately clasping around Raegon’s back as their bodies connected in a deep embrace. The first thing Lexa noted was how tall he was now, she was practically on her tip toes to reach him. She felt her eyes start to water, but pushed them back as she detached from the boy.

“Are you going to introduce me to your … friend?” Raegon asked shyly.

_Clarke._

Clarke who was dressed in only a large button down. Clarke who had no idea what was going on here, aside from the fact that the Prince she was asked to paint was standing right in front of her, claiming to be Lexa’s brother. Lexa had been too caught up in the moment to remember Clarke’s presence in the room. Turning to face her, Lexa instantly saw the complete shock in Clarke’s eyes. She reached out to grab the girl’s hand, but Clarke swiped her hand back.

The rejection hit Lexa in the face like a tonne of bricks, “Clarke, let me explain.”

“He’s … if he’s your brother that means that you’re … you’re _her_ ,” Clarke choked out, stepping away from the siblings. “The lost Princess of Polaris.”

Lexa nodded slowly and took a small, trembling step towards the girl. Clarke’s eyes met hers, and Lexa could see all of the pieces stringing together for the blonde.

“Clarke, please,” Lexa pleaded, desperate for Clarke to listen. But Clarke was shaking her head and backing away into the wall behind her, clearly in a state of confusion and shock.

“This is… this is too much, Lexa,” Clarke mumbled out, squeezing her eyes shut.

Lexa’s gut dropped at Clarke’s words. Of course she’d always thought of the possibility of Clarke reacting like this, but she’d never thought about what to do if it happened. Lexa only had herself to blame for this. She should’ve told Clarke the minute they became exclusive.

Moving towards the girl, Lexa tried to reach for her again, but Clarke snapped “I need to go, right now.”

“Clarke!” Lexa yelled after the blonde, who had pushed past Raegon at lightning speed. Her legs moved forward to chase Clarke, but Raegon clutched onto her arm stopping her from moving. “Raegon, let me go!”

“Dria, we need to talk,” Raegon insisted with a stern look.

Lexa shook her head at the boy, and focused on the door slamming across the hall.

“It’s not safe for Clarke to be alone right now. I need to protect her,” Lexa pleaded, shrugging off Raegon’s arm.

But he stood in front of the door, and replied, “Give me five minutes, and then we can _both_ go and talk to Clarke.”

Lexa bit her lip and looked back to Clarke’s apartment. Five minutes. Surely Clarke would be safe for that long. Nodding her head at her brother, Lexa took a step back before pulling Raegon back into a long embrace.

“I’ve missed you so much, bro,” Lexa whispered.

Detaching from Lexa, Raegon smiled at her and said, “I missed you every day, Dria. You haven’t changed at all.”

“I wish I could say the same,” Lexa smiled. “You look so much like Nontu now.”

Raegon’s face faltered slightly at the mention of Orin, but his small smile remained.

“Gustus sent me,” Raegon began. _Gustus?_ “I know it’s a week earlier than Indra said, but Gustus thought that perhaps if you saw me…”

“I would go to the safe house sooner rather than later,” Lexa finished for Raegon. Her eyebrows quirked at Gustus’ smart thinking. Now that her brother was here, right in front of her, the urge to protect him… and to protect Clarke only grew stronger and stronger.

“I’m sorry, sis, I didn’t realise you would have uh… company,” Raegon said apologetically.

Lexa bit her lip before replying, “Clarke is my girlfriend. I had planned to talk this all through with her today.”

Raegon nodded before stating, “I’m happy you found someone. Gustus tells me you’ve been very lonely since… everything.”

“Clarke is special,” Lexa replied. However, the smile that usually accompanied Clarke’s name, fell off Lexa’s face when she remembered what had just happened.

“Listen Dria, I didn’t come alone - there are two guards in the lobby,” Raegon said after a few moments of silence. “But we must hurry, the safe house is an hour out of TonDC and I don’t want to leave Selena with just Indra and a handful of guards for protection.”

Lexa’s eyebrows knitted together and she questioned, “And Selena is to be trusted?”

She regretted the question the moment Lexa saw Raegon’s face darken.

“I’m not stupid, Dria and I’m not ten years old anymore,” he spat.

Lexa placed a hand on Raegon’s shoulder and said, “I know, bro. But we need to be careful. We always need to be careful.”

“Is that why you didn’t tell Clarke anything?”

The question was like a slap in Lexa’s face, but she refused to let Raegon’s fiery temper ignite her own. The Trigeda line was not known for being discrete in their anger or frustrations.

“I didn’t tell Clarke, because I wanted her to have a few days of complete normality before I fucked her up with all of _this_ bullshit, Raegon,” Lexa said warily, trying not to let her tone become harsh.

Raegon’s face softened slightly, and he nodded at Lexa’s explanation. “Moba, Dria. I just need you to trust me. Selena is … everything to me.”

Raising her eyebrows at her brother’s obvious complete infatuation with the girl, Lexa bit her lip to stop herself from questioning the situation further. Right now, she had more important things to focus on like keeping her brother safe, and sorting things out with her girlfriend.

Speaking up, Lexa looked firmly at Raegon and said, “Lock the door and stay here while I get changed. I need to talk to Clarke.”

*

Five minutes later, Lexa was practically banging down Clarke’s door. Raegon looked slightly amused next to her, at his sister’s wildness. But Lexa didn’t care about how she looked, she only cared about Clarke and how she must be feeling.

Is she angry or shocked? Frightened? Overwhelmed?

Lexa didn’t know and that’s what scared her the most.

When the door opened Lexa’s heart skipped a beat, but Clarke’s blonde hair did not appear in the doorway. Instead Lexa was met with Raven’s very hungover, but angry face.

“What do you want Lexa?” Raven asked harshly. “And who the fuck is this?”

Lexa tried to glance into the apartment before saying, “This is my brother, Raegon. I need to speak with Clarke.”

Raven rolled her eyes and said, “Well she’s gone, Lexa. I don’t know what you did, but she threw on some clothes and stormed out of here without a word.”

Lexa’s stomach twisted at Raven’s words, and she felt panic rise within her. Clarke was alone and confused without any form of protection. Roan could already be on her trail.

“Do you know where she might have gone, Raven?” Lexa questioned desperately.

Raven’s eyebrows knitted together and she tightened her lips. “You fucked up didn’t you?”

Lexa nodded before answering, “I need to find her Raven. Her safety is at risk.”

It didn’t look like Raven was going to give it up, but when Anya appeared next to her, Lexa flashed her a desperate look. Anya’s eyes moved to Raegon, who was currently leaning against the wall next to Lexa. Lexa made a mental note to introduce Raegon to her adoptive family _properly_.

Anya nodded at Lexa, letting her know she understood that Clarke had found out and freaked, before speaking up, “Rae, ease up.”

Raven’s shoulders slumped back and she said, “Clarke didn’t exactly leave without a word. She said she was going to paint, so my best bet is at the studio.”

“Thank you, Raven,” Lexa said, with grateful eyes.

Pulling Raegon off the wall, Lexa was almost at the elevator when she heard Raven call after her.

“Hey Lexa!”

“Yes?” Lexa replied.

“Whatever you did, fucking fix it.”

Lexa was going to try.

*

**Clarke**

Lexa was a princess.

Lexa was a _princess._

 _Lexa was a_ princess.

Those four words are all Clarke had thought of for the last twenty minutes since she’d opened the door to find Lexa’s long lost brother standing there. Clarke knew her reaction was bad, that Lexa was probably freaking out about her whereabouts. She should’ve stayed and let Lexa explain, but Lexa should’ve told her all of this _a long time_ ago.

Though, now Clarke thought about it there was so many signs that slipped by her. The Polarian, the refusal to name her brother, the fancy box filled with family stuff and _that_ painting. Clarke should’ve known. Aside from the similarities in their facial features, when Lexa got so wound up about the Regent _Clarke should have known_. And now, with all the pieces falling into place Clarke couldn’t speak, couldn’t think. Her mind was racing and her heart beating even faster.

The only thing that could calm her down was to grab a few canvases and fill them in with different strokes of colour.

Pulling into the gallery’s parking lot, Clarke hastily got out and raced into her studio. She greeted Hugo with a quick wave and hello before gathering some paints, brushes and canvases & an easel. Clarke tried to move as swift as possible. She knew that Lexa would likely pull her this location out of Raven, and that she could be here at any moment.

But Clarke wasn’t ready. She just wanted a few hours to paint and clear her head, before facing the girl again.

Putting the equipment in the boot of her car, Clarke quickly got in and made her way towards her hill. There would probably be other people there, with it being a somewhat popular hangout on a Sunday morning, but Clarke didn’t care. Even with a crowd, it was easily the best place to think and paint without any interruptions.

Parking at the top of the hill, Clarke gathered her tools and made her way to her usual spot. It was almost on the edge of the hill, just next to the clear railings, and whilst Clarke preferred the view at night, it was still amazing to oversee during the day.

Just being on the hill calmed Clarke down and made her feel less scared. Setting up a canvas in front of her, Clarke pulled out a paint brush and started swirling paints together. Clarke painted an oval like shape and splashed the inside with as many colours as she could. She wanted to resemble what the inside of her mind felt like. A messy, overwhelming bundle of emotions and thoughts. Tracing the outline of a neck and shoulder attaching to the head shape, Clarke was actually satisfied with the finished product.

Placing down her paintbrush, Clarke hesitantly reached inside her pocket for her phone. She’d placed it on ‘do not disturb’ and hadn’t looked at it since. Clarke wasn’t surprised to see missed calls and texts from pretty much everyone.

**RAEBAE: are you okay? Come home soon, L is worried. (so am i) xx**

**Anya Woods: Clarke, I know it’s overwhelming, but Lexa is going out of her mind. Just call her please**

**SmallBlake: CLARKE WOULD YA PLS PICK UP YA PHONE**

But Clarke’s stomach dropped when she noticed that whilst she didn’t have any texts from Lexa, she did have a voicemail from her. Clicking on the voicemail button, Clarke held her breath slightly not really knowing what to expect.

“Clarke, I’m sorry. I messed up. I should’ve told you who I was, who _I am_ a long time ago. And I can explain all of that later – I promise I will. But please Clarke, pick up your phone and let me come to you. There’s so much more you need to know; so much more that I _want_ and _need_ to tell you,” Lexa voice explained through the phone, ending with a silencing beep.

Clarke’s heart dropped at the desperation and care in Lexa’s voice. Looking up at the sky, Clarke breathed in heavily. She’d been out here for a good hour and a half, and whilst she felt slightly better, her mind still raced with uncertainties.

Clarke didn’t want to leave Lexa - that much she was certain of.

But was Lexa going to have to leave Clarke? Was Prince Raegon here to take Lexa back to Polaris? Was Clarke just a runaway fling to the girl?

She had so many questions, and there was only one person that had the answers.

Clarke’s finger was hovering over the call button on Lexa’s contact information when a man walked up next to her, admiring the painting.

“It’s very good,” the man remarked with a smile and an accent similar to Lexa’s. He had shoulder length brown hair and a beard to match. Clarke couldn’t help but think he was oddly handsome, though maybe too old for her liking.

Clarke smiled back and replied, “Thank you.”

The man held out his hand for Clarke to take and Clarke took it firmly.

“My name’s Roan. You’re Clarke, right?”

Clarke’s face fell slightly at his knowledge of her name, and her eyebrows raised slightly.

“How did you know that?” Clarke questioned.

Roan smiled again and crouched down to be on level with Clarke, before stating, “I believe we have a mutual friend.”

*

**Lexa**

Lexa and Raegon hadn’t had any luck at the gallery. Clarke had taken a few things and left according to Hugo. Lexa’s anxiety only grew with every minute Clarke was not with her. Putting her head in her hands, she felt Raegon’s arms encircle her tightly.

“Dria, it’s not that big of a city, we’ll find her,” he offered in support.

“Or will _he_ find her first?” Lexa breathed out.

She understood Clarke needed space; that she needed time to think everything over. But Clarke didn’t know that she was in danger, and without Lexa there to protect her he could easily make his move.

Raegon let her go and said, “Hod op, yu _na_ fig au Klark.”

Lexa smiled slightly at hearing her native tongue roll off someone else’s lips. It was refreshing to listen to.

“Chof, bro,” Lexa said gratefully. His words did nothing to quell her fears, but it was nice having company. However, with Roan running around, Lexa knew it probably wasn’t the best idea to have Raegon along for the ride much longer – even with his guards.

And because they couldn’t leave for the safe house yet, there was only one place to go.

Pulling up the parking lot of Octavia and Lincoln’s apartment, Lexa motioned for Raegon’s guards to follow her.

“Where are we, Dria?” Raegon questioned.

“We’re at a friend’s,” Lexa answered as the four of them made their way up to Lincoln’s floor. It was odd for Lexa to be with guards again, but at the same time it was quite comforting. She knew that Raegon would be protected with Lincoln as well as them.

When Lincoln answered the door, his eyebrows were raised in question at the tall blonde boy and stiff guards next to her.

“Heya, Lincoln,” Lexa greeted. “This is my brother, Raegon. Do you mind if we come in?”

Lexa watched as Raegon held out his hand for Lincoln to shake. Lincoln shook her brothers hand and nodded, opening the door as he asked, “What’s going on, cousin? Are you in trouble?”

Lexa shook her head and smiled at Lincoln’s concern, “I’m not, but Clarke could be.”

“What about Clarke?” a small voice chimed in from the lounge room. Soon after, Octavia walked out with an alarmed look on her face. Nodding in greeting, Lexa continued.

“Raegon came by this morning, and Clarke answered the door,” Lexa explained. “She put it all together and ran out. I need to find her, Lincoln.”

“Of course,” Lincoln agreed, with Octavia already pulling out her phone to text Clarke. “Did you need us to help you?”

Lexa shook her head and looked at Raegon, “I need Raegon to stay here with you until I’ve found her.”

At this, Raegon turned his head and said, “Nou, ai gaf in sis au.”

“Moba, Raegon, but you need to stay here. I can’t risk your safety,” Lexa insisted.

“He will be safe here, cousin,” Lincoln said. “Especially with those guards as well.”

Raegon set his face sternly and turned to Lexa with a frown, “Dria, I’m not a child.”

“Maybe not, but you’re still my brother,” Lexa said firmly. “So you will stay here with Lincoln and Octavia until I return with Clarke. Understood?”

“Yes, _Prisa_ ,” Raegon said slightly harshly.

Lexa nodded once more at Lincoln and Octavia before exiting the apartment. After getting in her car she decided to try Clarke again. Lexa had been calling her for the last hour but the blonde hadn’t picked up. She wasn’t even surprised when the call went to voicemail again, but this time Lexa decided to leave one.

Taking a deep breath, Lexa said, “Clarke, I’m sorry. I messed up. I should’ve told you who I was, who _I am_ a long time ago. And I can explain all of that later – I promise I will. But please Clarke, pick up your phone and let me come to you. There’s so much more you need to know; so much more that I _want_ and _need_ to tell you.”

With the beep cutting off any more words she wanted to say, Lexa already knew where the next place Clarke would’ve gone was. And while Clarke probably didn’t want to talk to her, Lexa had to go and at least watch over Clarke until she got a text or call from her.

Starting up the car and driving to the hill where she and Clarke had spent some nights looking up at the stars, Lexa parked as close as she could to the end of the car park. Looking around at the small scatterings of people lounging on the hill, Lexa tried to find a familiar mop of blonde hair.

At first, Lexa found it hard to locate her, but when she opened her car door and stepped out, she found her. Clarke was standing up, painting on an easel facing away from her. Lexa’s anxiety slowly dissolved as she saw that Clarke was unharmed and safe. But her nerves for actually seeing the girl spiked.

What if Clarke wanted to leave her? What if Clarke decided that this was too much? What if Clarke didn’t _want_ to be with a princess?

Locking her car and stepping behind a nearby tree to conceal herself from Clarke’s vision, Lexa watched the girl paint for about twenty minutes. Eventually the girl put down the brushes and pulled out her phone, and Lexa watched as Clarke brought it to her ear.

She was listening to Lexa’s voicemail. Lexa moved slightly closer, but still blending into the background as Clarke kept the phone to her ear. Eventually Clarke pulled the phone down, and Lexa saw her dip her head back and watch the sky.

What Lexa would have given to know what the blonde was thinking.

Lexa was just about to walk the rest of the way over when she saw a brown haired man walk over to Clarke. Quirking her brows, she walked closer until she was practically right behind them.

“I believe we have a mutual friend,” the man said.

_Roan._

Immediately Lexa sprung into action, kicking Roan down and putting herself between him and Clarke. Lexa bared her teeth at the man in a very unladylike fashion and punched him straight in the nose. It instantly started spurting blood, and she was aware of the blonde’s eyes on her, but in that moment all Lexa could think about was Roan and how close he was to taking Clarke away from her.

Feeling white hot rage sweep through her body, Lexa grabbed the man by the shirt and pinned him against the tree. The move was to slightly obscure the scene from the public eye, but also to put Lexa in a position of power over the man.

He struggled against her hold, but Lexa was _strong_. Lincoln had made sure of that during their gym sessions. And her time in Polaris also assisted her, because whilst Ida trained to be a Queen, Lexa learnt to fight. Even though she was slightly scrappy after six years, the technique and strength was still there.

“Don’t. Move,” she snarled at the wheezing man. Roan wasn’t glaring at Lexa though, he was grinning. An evil sadistic grin that made Lexa’s skin crawl.

“Do you need some help?” a small voice questioned from behind her. Looking over at Clarke, Lexa saw that there was no anger in her eyes. Just concern and slight shock.

“I think I’ve got it,” Lexa replied with a small smile. But as soon as the words escaped her mouth, Roan elbowed Lexa in the ribs. Crying out slightly at the sudden impact, Lexa quickly rebounded. Bringing Roan’s head up from the ground, Lexa slammed it back down knocking the man clean out. Standing up, Lexa looked around to make sure no one had witnessed what had just happened. She was relieved to see not one set of eyes on the group.

And then Lexa felt Clarke’s hands around her back, and her nose pressed into her neck. She was surprised by Clarke’s sudden display of affection, but happy to have it nonetheless.

Pulling back, she looked at Roan before saying, “We need to go.”

Clarke nodded and said, “I know. Help me with my stuff?”

After gathering all of Clarke’s art supplies and putting them in the boot of Lexa’s car, both girls got in and Lexa immediately locked the doors. Lexa put the keys in the car without a word, but she felt the blonde’s hand pull her hand off the wheel and clasp it.

Looking shyly at the girl, Lexa said, “We’ve got a lot to talk about, Clarke.”

“I know, Lex,” Clarke replied with a smile that warmed Lexa’s heart. “And I’m ready to listen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trige (now raegon's here i can use so much more i am LIVING YALL):   
> nontu - father/papa  
> moba - sorry  
> hod op, yu na fig au klark - stop. you will find clarke  
> chof bro - thanks brother  
> nou, ai gaf in sis au - no, i want to help
> 
> I KNOW CLARKES REACTION WAS CRAY ALRIGHT but my smol bean was a bit overwhelmed gosh and yea i think roan's pretty dang hot not gonna lie 
> 
> STAY TUNED FOR A NEW CHAP REAL SOON YALL


	16. sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the chapter is filled with so many introductions I had to google 'different ways to introduce people'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 20K READS WTF YALL IM DYINGGNGNGNGNG!! thank you all for the comments, kudos and support!!! YOU ARE THE REASON I UPDATE SO DARN MUCH

**Clarke**

They sat in the carpark of Clarke’s old apartment for a good hour and a half. Lexa told Clarke everything, and Clarke listened to every last piece of information with an open heart. She squeezed Lexa’s hand when she told her of Nia’s plans, and held her close when Lexa told the truth of what happened to her sister.

Clarke was instantly fascinated by the idea of Polaris, and equally overwhelmed by the fact the Lexa was _Princess Alexandria Trigeda the Second_ and first in line to the throne. But she tried her very best to be supportive through Lexa’s explanation. Clarke wanted – _needed_ – to make up for her initial reaction.

“… Selena and Indra, and I’m assuming Gustus are already holed up in the safe house. But we really need to leave as soon as possible,” Lexa finished before adding, “Even if you no longer want to be a part of my life, I must insist you come to the safe house, Clarke. At least for now.”

Clarke’s eyes widened at Lexa’s statement, and her mouth dropped open. Leaving Lexa was never an option. Not even when she saw Raegon and pieced everything together. Not even when Lexa went warrior-like on Roan’s ass.

“Lexa…” Clarke began, gently caressing Lexa’s face.

The girl turned away slightly and said, “Roan knows where you live, where you work – it’s not safe Clarke. And I _need_ you to be safe. It may be a few months before we take back Polaris, we can sleep in separate rooms -”

“Lexa, shut up,” Clarke said bluntly, earning a shocked look from the brunette. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m not gonna lie to you and say all of this is easy to take in, and that it won’t take me some time to adjust. But babe, this information doesn’t change who you are to me.”

Lexa’s eyebrows raised, and a look of relief swept through her features. Clarke smiled gently and clasped one of her hands tightly.

“You may be the future queen of a nation, but you’re still my Lexa. My Lexa, who hates early mornings and losing Monopoly. My Lexa, who loves working out with Lincoln and kissing on the beach. My Lexa… but with a Palace and crown to her name,” Clarke said with a smile. 

Watching for Lexa’s reaction, Clarke was surprised when a tear fell from the girl’s eye. Pulling her into a deep embrace, Clarke buried her head into Lexa’s neck. After a few moments, Lexa detached from her and drew her into a sweet kiss. Pressing her lips gently against Lexa’s, Clarke felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

There was still the question of what happened once Indra and Gustus got rid of Nia, but Clarke would save that for later. When both Lexa and Raegon were tucked away in the safe house.

They went up to Lincoln and Octavia’s apartment after that and Clarke saw the two guards standing outside their door. Looking at Lexa and raising her eyebrows, Clarke knocked on the door softly and waited for someone to answer. After a few moments, Lincoln opened it and relief was clear on his face as he saw Clarke. Guilt spread through Clarke – obviously her going off the radar had shaken up more than just Lexa.

“Come in,” Lincoln said, ushering them inside.

Once in the apartment, Clarke saw Octavia pacing in the lounge room and turning her face up to glare at the blonde. Clarke smiled apologetically before feeling Lexa’s hand slither around her waist protectively.

Glancing around the room, Clarke’s eyes eventually landed on Raegon’s deep green ones and she smiled tentatively.

When the boy returned the smile, Clarke walked over to him and held out her hand, “We didn’t get the chance to meet properly this morning. I’m Clarke and I’m very happy to meet you.”

Raegon clasped her hand in a firm shake and said, “Hello, Clarke. I’m happy to meet you also.”

Dropping the boy’s hand, Clarke turned back to Lexa, who was smiling slightly at the pair whilst still giving off her usual stoic vibe.

“Sorry for scaring you Octavia. Yeah no worries Clarke, just don’t do it again,” Octavia chimed in, imitating Clarke.

Rolling her eyes Clarke said, “Alright, I get it. But I _am_ sorry. I didn’t mean to scare everyone.”

“It’s fine, Clarke. All that matters is that you’re safe,” Lincoln said kindly.

Clarke watched as Lexa looked at Raegon and said, “ _Ogud, bro_?”

Raegon nodded his head and Lexa walked over to Lincoln and Octavia before continuing, “Thank you for taking care of Raegon.”

“You have to leave now don’t you, cousin?” Lincoln asked sadly.

Lexa nodded and said, “It’s not safe for us to be in TonDC. At least for now.”

“What about the wedding squad!?” Octavia asked with pleading eyes. “I need someone to argue with! Lincoln just agrees with everything so I’ll sleep with him.”

Clarke raised her brows before asking, “What is this wedding squad?”

Octavia grinned and said, “Lexa is helping us plan the wedding.”

Turning to Lexa, Clarke whined, “What?!Why wasn’t I asked?”

“You can’t plan for shit, Clarke. You’d spend all the money on food and alcohol,” Octavia explained before seeing the slight fall in Clarke’s face. “You’re still my maid of honour Clarke, so you can organise the bachelorette party, calm down.”

Smiling, Clarke pulled the girl in for a small hug before letting her go and hugging Lincoln. After that, Lexa pulled her close again and clasped their hands together before moving to the door with Raegon in tow.

“Perhaps you guys can still make it to the wedding?” Octavia asked. “You’ve seen the location and guest list, Lex. If you bring some fancy guards…”

Clarke looked pleadingly at Lexa before the girl replied, “I’ll see what I can do, O.”

After a few more pleasantries, the three walked out of the door before turning back and waving their goodbyes to the couple. As they walked out of the apartment complex, Clarke was pleasantly surprised by Lexa’s tone when she told the guards what was happening. She sounded so regal and Clarke suspected she would have to get used to this side of Lexa.

Lexa was leaving her car at the carpark and keys with Octavia who currently didn’t have a car. The look on Octavia’s face was priceless. But as the three got into the guards car, Clarke was hit with a sudden realisation.

“Wait, Lexa! My car!” she half shouted, frightening Raegon.

Lexa’s eyes widened before saying, “Do you have a spare key at your apartment?”

“Yes but -”

“Call Raven, she can go pick it up for you,” Lexa said shortly. “Roan would have left by now. She will be safe.”

Clarke slumped back in defeat before saying, “I really liked that car, Lex.”

Lexa glared slightly at her and replied, “Well I really like you being alive.”

Clarke shut up after that.

*

“Can you just do it without an explanation, Raven?” Clarke groaned out on the phone.

Raven was being difficult, and half fighting with Anya on the other end of the phone. She wasn’t stupid and knew something big was going on.

“No, Clarke. I’d quite like to know why I’m not going to see my best friend for an indefinite amount of time,” Raven growled before muttering something incoherent to Anya.

“Rave-n,” Clarke said again.

But then Lexa grabbed the phone off Clarke and said bluntly into the speaker, “Hi Raven, it’s Lexa. I’m the Princess of Polaris and you won’t be seeing Clarke for a while because we, along with my brother Prince Raegon, are being threatened by my psychotic, murderous aunt and therefore need to go to a safe house. Tell Anya I’ll be in touch.”

And then she passed the phone back to Clarke without a word. Clarke was mildly surprised by Lexa’s ability to sum up an hour’s worth of explanation in a couple of sentences.

Putting the phone back up to her ear, Clarke tentatively asked, “Raven, did you get all of that?”

Raven was quiet for a few moments before answering with, “You had sex with a princess?!”

Feeling her face flush at the words, Clarke heard Lexa chuckle slightly. After everything that happened they hadn’t really spoken about what they _did_ the night before.

“Raven!” Clarke scolded, elbowing Lexa in the chest.

“Apologies, Clarkey,” Raven replied. “I’ll get your precious car for you.”

“Thank you.”

“Be safe, Griffin. And call me when you can,” Raven instructed warmly.

Clarke smiled before replying, “Bye Rae.”

Hanging up the phone, Clarke immediately glared at Lexa who was still smiling slightly. When the girl noticed she simply shrugged her shoulders and looked out of the window. They were only fifteen minutes into their trip, and Clarke figured she would call Hugo, Bellamy and her mom from the safe house. The car was pretty spacious, but Clarke was wedged between the two siblings and she didn’t want Raegon to think she was being rude by constantly calling people.

“So,” Clarke said after a few moments of awkward silence. “Anyone up for a game of I-spy?”

“Clarke,” Lexa groaned with a sigh.

Clarke shrugged her shoulders and Raegon spoke up, “I’ll play, Clarke. Dria is just being boring.”

“Am not!” Lexa replied, glaring at her brother.

Chuckling at their exchange, Clarke leant her head on Lexa’s shoulder and said, “She’s not boring, just grumpy.”

Raegon grinned at Clarke’s words before saying, “You start, Clarke.”

*

Thirty minutes and too many rounds of I-spy later, Lexa was now asleep against Clarke’s shoulder and Raegon was staring out of the window. However, while Lexa was asleep Clarke jumped at the chance to learn _more_ about the girl.

“Raegon,” Clarke said, nudging him slightly.

The boy instantly turned to her and replied, “Yes?”

“Do you remember what Lexa was like? I know you were young when she left, but any embarrassing stories you can tell me?” Clarke asked nervously. She didn’t want to overstep any boundaries, but Clarke could tell Raegon was a bit more of an open book than Lexa.

Raegon smiled and said, “There was this one time, I would’ve been about eight or so, that Alexandria started a food fight at the table.”

“Go on,” Clarke urged with a cheeky grin.

“Well one minute, I was sitting there eating my waffles and the next minute Dria and Ida were fighting. Ida called Dria an ‘obnoxious brat’ and Dria called her a ‘pompous bitch’, so of course an argument ensued. They rarely fought, but always bickered so I thought nothing of it – until Dria stood up and threw scrambled eggs all over Ida,” Raegon continuing, giggling slightly at the end.

Clarke felt some slight movement from Lexa and turned back to look at the girl. Her eyes were still shut, but Clarke knew she was awake. Not wanting that to distract Raegon from the story, Clarke focused her eyes back on the blonde boy next to him.

“It would have been fine, but then Ida threw her orange juice all over Alexandria. And then I, the impressionable eight year old, decided to join in. It was an all out war and before we knew it, Nomon and Nontu came storming in. They punished all of us for wasting food, but Dria copped the most of it for starting it,” Raegon finished with a smirk.

“It was so worth seeing the look on Ida’s face though,” Lexa piped up, her eyes still closed. “I ruined her favourite shirt.”

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh out loud at Lexa’s unexpected comment. “What did she even do other than call you a brat?”

“I can’t recall, but I remember being _very_ offended,” Lexa smiled.

“Tell me more stories,” Clarke insisted. “I want to hear them _all_.”

“We’re almost there, Clarke,” Lexa said.

Clarke frowned until Raegon leaned in and whispered, “Don’t worry Clarke, I have a few more up my sleeve for later.”

 Fistbumping the boy, Clarke snuggled back into Lexa hoping that the next twenty minutes would go by quickly.

*

**Lexa**

Clarke had taken everything surprising well, better than Lexa could have hoped for, what with the blonde’s initial reaction. And when Clarke had said she wasn’t going anywhere, Lexa could’ve died with happiness.

The ride to the safe house was coming to a close, and Lexa was glad that Raegon and Clarke had bonded. It made her immensely happy that the people she cared for most in the world were getting along. However, once the house came into view Lexa’s nerves piked. What if Clarke didn’t like it? What if she got annoyed at being locked away?

But with a squeeze and excited exclaim of, “That’s not a safe _house_ , Lexa! That’s a safe mansion for God’s sake!” Lexa’s fears melted away.

As they pulled into the driveway, Lexa opened the door and helped Clarke out before walking up to the door and knocking. Almost immediately the door swung open and Indra was standing before her. She hadn’t seen the woman since their fight at Clarke’s showcase, and she hadn’t talked to her in a week, but Indra showed no anger in her eyes. Just pure relief and love.

“Alexandria,” the woman breathed out. Lexa wrapped her arms around Indra, an unusual display of affection but one Lexa thought was necessary, before stepping away.

“Indra this is Clarke, I don’t believe you guys have formally met,” Lexa said with a smile, moving aside to let Clarke greet the woman. Indra’s face was steely at the girl, but Lexa didn’t expect any less. Even if Clarke was Lexa’s girlfriend, she was an outsider to Indra.

But Clarke held out her hand to shake nonetheless, and said, “Hello, Indra. It’s so nice to meet you.”

Indra took Clarke’s hand and gave it a short shake before nodding and opening the door wider for the three to go inside. Lexa had never actually been inside the safe house, but she wasn’t expecting it to be as large and beautiful as it was. Not only was the inside beautifully furnished and decorated, but it also overlooked a mountain. And Lexa knew one of the first things she needed to do was get Clarke painting supplies. This view would be practically porn to an artist.

“Whoa,” she heard Clarke breathe from behind her.

“Where’s Selena?” Raegon asked Indra as soon as the door was shut and locked. “Is she alright?”

Lexa smiled at her brother’s concern for his girlfriend. Whilst Lexa didn’t exactly like that Raegon brought Selena with him against her direct orders, how could she be against someone that made her brother so clearly happy?

“She is up in her room, go and bring her down to meet your sister and Clarke,” Indra instructed.

Lexa turned back around to face Clarke and brought her close, sitting her arm around the girl’s waist as was their usual stance nowadays. Lexa liked being close to the blonde and on the car ride home all she’d thought about was their encounter the night before. Lexa had always thought that maybe she’d feel like a different person after losing her virginity, but all she felt was an immense closeness to Clarke.

Raegon returned with a raven haired girl, who was around the same height as him. She had a cautious smile on her face and was clearly nervous.

Clarke whispered, “Be nice.” Rolling her eyes, Lexa kept her face unreadable as the girl approached her. Raegon narrowed his eyes at Lexa’s face and she reluctantly relaxed her face.

Holding out her hand as Selena got closer Lexa said, “Hello Selena, I’m Alexandria.”

“Heya Prisa,” Selena said with a smile, shaking Lexa’s hand before saying, “Raegon has told me so many good things.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Lexa said, quirking a brow at Raegon before pointing at Clarke and saying, “This is my girlfriend, Clarke.”

“Hi,” Clarke greeted shaking the girl’s hand. Selena smiled before Raegon curled her closer to him, just as Lexa held Clarke. Lexa knew that Raegon wanted her to accept that Selena was as valuable to him as Clarke was to her. And that he was going to protect her just as Lexa had protected Clarke.

All it took was a short nod of Lexa’s head to tell him that she understood.

“Alexandria?” a voice boomed from the corner. Lexa whipped her head around to see the huge man that was Gustus.

“Gustus!” Lexa yelled before running to embrace him. “I’ve missed you.”

“We speak all the time,” Gustus said. “And since when have you been a hugger?”

Detaching from him, Lexa shook her head, “It’s not the same as seeing your ugly face in person.”

That earned a playful glare from the man who turned to Clarke and said, “This is her? The one you got me to run a background check on a few months back?”

Lexa smiled sheepishly as Clarke said, “What!?”

“Babe, listen,” Lexa pleaded. “I was just a _bit_ worried you were a hit woman of some sort.”

Clarke’s eyes narrowed at her before she greeted Gustus, “I’m Clarke by the way.”

*

After a few more formalities, Gustus explained that they were complete fine to use their phones as the house’s wifi and signal was blocked and secure. Although he did caution them to not post anything on Twitter or Instagram. Texts and calls only.

And then when Indra showed them to their rooms, Lexa was happy that she and Clarke got the master bedroom. She was worried that Raegon would’ve stolen it.

“Where is Raegon’s room?” Lexa questioned as Clarke took off her jacket and laid out on the bed.

“He and Selena sleep across the hall, there is a guard at the bottom of your staircase. It is completely secure,” Indra explained.

Lexa raised her hand and asked, “He _and_ Selena?”

Indra rolled her eyes and visibly braced herself for Lexa’s tirade.

“Indra! Raegon is _fifteen_! He is far too young to be sharing a room with a girl,” Lexa argued. “I want them separated, there are plenty more rooms for Selena to sleep in.”

“Whatever you ask, Prisa,” Indra said before looking at Clarke sprawled out on the bed. “Dinner is in an hour, I’ll come and get you then.”

Lexa nodded her head before shutting the door and jumping on the bed next to Clarke. Stretching out, she felt Clarke huddle closer to her.

“So your family is nice,” Clarke said. “Raegon is so much like you.”

Smiling, Lexa sat up and said, “I’m glad you like them.”

“I like you more,” Clarke said with a grin. “I keep forgetting what happened last night, but then you move closer to me and it all just comes flooding back.”

Biting her lip Lexa moved so that she was on top of Clarke, lightly straddling her hips. Clarke breathed out heavily and Lexa placed her thigh in between Clarke’s.

“I want you,” Lexa purred. “Right now.”

Clarke pulled Lexa closer so their lips were almost touching and dragged her hands slowly down to Lexa’s pants. Lexa moaned as she slid her hand under her waistband and dipped her finger between Lexa’s folds.

Moaning slightly, Lexa tried to kiss the blonde, but Clarke suddenly threw Lexa off her and got up off the bed.

“Sorry babe, but I’m gonna shower, it’s been a long day,” the blonde said with a wink.

“Fucking tease!” Lexa shouted after the girl with a smile. Lexa was only half joking, because now her centre was throbbing with desire and Clarke was having a bloody shower. Biting her lip and looking over at the purposefully left open bathroom door, Lexa ripped off her clothing.

Walking into the bathroom, Lexa saw that Clarke had her back turned her and she took advantage of it. The shower was huge and had no door, so Lexa shut the bathroom door and locked it as quietly as she could before stepping into the shower. Placing her hands around Clarke’s waist, Lexa pressed her bare chest against Clarke’s back eliciting a breathy whimper from the girl. Clarke turned around to face Lexa and smiled slightly.

“Are you intruding on my private shower, Lexa?” Clarke questioned with a raised brow.

Lexa smiled back and said, “If you didn’t want me coming in, you really should’ve locked the door.”

Clarke laughed at Lexa’s words and pulled her closer for a deep kiss. Lexa returned the kiss before pulling back slightly to look at the blonde.

“I’m glad you came,” Lexa said pushing a piece of Clarke’s wet blonde hair back.

“I’d go with you anywhere, Lex,” was Clarke's response and it stuck with Lexa forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> polarianTRIGE:  
> ogud, bro? - ready, brother?  
> heya, prisa - hello, princess
> 
> WHO ELSE IS 100% HERE FOR CLARKE/RAEGON BONDING????? also yes i know this chapter was quite uneventful, but i was setting up the safe house dynamic and all that jazz YA FEEL 
> 
> i'll update tomorrow and put some GOOD stuff in ;) if ;) you ;) know ;) what ;) i ;) mean ;)
> 
> okay i'm done rambling bye luv u all


	17. seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions are high in the safe house bc Lexa gets angsty with everyone (bc she's lowkey a drama queen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry yall exams have been killin but i only have ONE TO GO WOOOO. enjoy x

**Lexa**

“Indra, can you please pass the salt?” Clarke asked politely next to her. Lexa smiled at the girl’s clear nervousness around the older woman. Not that Lexa could blame her – Indra was a pretty intimidating woman.

“ _Sha, Klark_ ,” Indra replied gruffly as she passed Clarke the salt.

“Uh, _mochof_ ,” Clarke responded shakily. Lexa had taught her the word for thank you on their first date, and she was pleasantly surprised that the girl remembered.

The dinner had been silent for the most part, and Lexa could feel Clarke becoming more and more agitated beside her at the lack of conversation. Clarke was a talker, and she was going to have some trouble with the fact that Polarians weren’t.

However, Lexa was halfway through a bite of steak when the blonde elbowed her. Narrowing her eyes at her, Lexa noticed Clarke was pointedly looking at the girl across the table.

“Talk to her,” Clarke mouthed.

Rolling her eyes and placing down her cutlery, Lexa asked, “So Selena, how did you and Raegon meet?”

Selena looked mildly surprised at Lexa’s question but smiled and answered all the same. “Well, I was on a school trip to the palace and Raegon was accompanying the teacher on the tour. I ended up getting lost and Raegon found me sitting in a corner, freaking out.”

Watching as Raegon gripped the girls hand and smiled at her, Lexa questioned further, “It must’ve been hard to get lost on a school trip, how did you manage it?”

Raegon shot her a harsh glare at her tone, and when she looked at Clarke, Lexa saw that the blonde had the same look on her face.

“What?” Lexa asked. “It’s a simple question really. Are you going to answer it Selena?”

The younger girl looked slightly horrified by Lexa’s harshness, but replied, “I got too caught up looking at the portraits of Polaris’ past rulers. And by the time I decided to catch up with the rest of the group, they’d already disappeared.”

“Interesting,” Lexa remarked before turning back to her food. Surely Indra thought this girl was suspicious as well? Getting ‘lost’ on a school trip? As if.

“ _Alekzandria, hod op_ ,” Raegon warned. “Selena is one of us. She’s not one of Nia’s spies.”

“I never said she was, brother,” Lexa shot back with a glare. “Am I not allowed to be wary of _outsiders_?”

Raegon scoffed and said, “Dria you’ve been gone for six years – _you are the outsider_.”

His words struck a chord in Lexa and she stood up abruptly, slamming her fist down on the table.

“ _I’ve been gone_?” Lexa spat. “I only left Polaris so _you_ could live! I left everything to protect _you_. How dare you call _me_ an outsider, Raegon!”

Raegon sat back in his chair, putting an arm around Selena as Indra raised her own voice, “Alexandria sit down. We have enough battles with Nia, we do not need one within our family.”

Clarke’s hand reached up and clasped hers, gently tugging her to sit down at the table. Perhaps Lexa had been harsh on Selena, but she couldn’t just trust Selena because Raegon did. Lexa needed to be sure that bringing this girl along wasn’t going to bite her and her family in the ass.

“Would you just sit by and let me talk to Clarke like that, sis?” Raegon argued, in a slightly more diplomatic tone.

Biting her lip, Lexa responded angrily, “Clarke’s different.”

“Why? I’ve been with Selena for a year and you’ve been with Clarke for a month? Shouldn’t that make Selena _more_ trustworthy?”

Trigeda rage filled Lexa up and she growled, “This dinner is _over_.”

Raegon stood up abruptly and said, “No it’s not! I don’t want to fight, Dria, but you’re being completely unreasonable.”

“We’re only fighting because you can see where I’m coming from! I can’t just trust someone I don’t know, Raegon!” Lexa shouted.

“But I know her! Trust me!” Raegon exclaimed back.

Both of the siblings were breathing heavily in anger, and Lexa could tell Clarke was growing tired of the argument. Looking over at Gustus, Lexa saw that the man was eating his meal like nothing was going on. Apparently steak and vegetables were more entertaining than Lexa and Raegon’s fight.

“If something happens-”

“It won’t,” Selena interjected. Lexa glared at her until the girl spoke up again, “I’m only here because Raegon forced me to come. I would’ve happily stayed in that cell if it meant Raegon was safe, but he wouldn’t leave without me.”

 _That cell?_ Indra hadn’t mentioned anything about a cell.

Looking back to Indra, Lexa raised her eyebrows in question and waited for the woman to speak up.

“After you were spotted in TonDC, Selena was imprisoned to keep Raegon under Nia’s control,” Indra said slowly.

Lexa sunk back into her chair and opened her mouth slightly. Why hadn’t Raegon told her this? If she had known that the girl had been _locked up_ just to control her brother, Lexa wouldn’t have been so harsh. Wary, of course, but not harsh.

“I did not know,” Lexa conceded.

“ _En’s ait, Prisa_ ,” Selena said, smiling slightly at Lexa. “Just know, I would never endanger Raegon, or King Orin’s legacy. He was a good man, and a good ruler. Just as you will be.”

Instinctively Lexa turned to suss Clarke’s reaction to Selena’s words. And unsurprisingly the girl was staring back at her with a smile. Looking back at her brother, Lexa saw that there was still a slight glint of anger in them. Guilt and embarrassment surged through her at the thought of her actions and Selena’s kind words.

“Hey Gustus, got any embarrassing stories about Lexa?” Clarke chimed in after a few moments of silence.

Lexa glared at him, but he grinned and replied, “You’ve got no idea, Clarke.”

*

**Clarke**

“… the look on her mother’s face when she realised Alexandria had a dagger in her garter. _Priceless_ ,” Gustus said, finishing the third story about young Lexa. Each one was funnier than the last, and Clarke found herself liking Lexa more and more. Lexa glared and stabbed at her steak the whole way through them, but Clarke knew that Lexa secretly enjoyed Clarke hearing about her earlier life.

Selena was chuckling at the story, and Raegon was smiling brightly and when Clarke sneaked a peek at Indra, she noticed that the older woman had a slight smile on her face. It was a stark contrast to thirty minutes ago, when Lexa and Raegon went all ‘long lost sibling angst’ on their asses.

“Clarke, can we _please_ leave,” Lexa whispered in her ear.

“I’m enjoying this, _Alexandria_ ,” Clarke whispered back.

Narrowing her eyes, Lexa leaned in closer and said, “If you don’t excuse us _right now_ , you won’t ever enjoy _me_ again.”

Her cheeks flushing and body shuddering at Lexa’s words, Clarke fumbled with the glass she was holding before setting it down. Staring at the girl, Clarke saw the mischievous glare and knew she wasn’t kidding.

Standing up abruptly, Clarke hastily said to the group, “Well, I’m just exhausted. I’m going to bed, night guys.”

Walking away, Clarke faintly heard Selena and Gustus say goodnight back before hearing Lexa excuse herself also. Stopping at the end of the staircase, next to the guards standing stiffly, Clarke waited for Lexa.

The girl turned the corner and smiled cheekily at Clarke before clasping her hand and leading her up the stairs.

“You’re such a little shit,” Clarke said. “Do your people know you use sex as a weapon?”

“Doubt it, considering I was a virgin this time yesterday,” Lexa replied bluntly.

Opening the door to their room, Lexa hastily locked it behind Clarke before pushing her up against the wall. Clarke felt Lexa’s mouth go straight to her neck, suckling against Clarke’s pale skin. Lexa moved her lips along her neck, but stopped once Clarke gasped. The girl suckled down harder and Clarke shut her eyes and brought her knee between Lexa’s thighs.

Lexa moaned against Clarke’s skin as Clarke started moving her knee against the girl’s sex, before lapping at Clarke’s neck more ferociously. Gently pushing at the hem of Lexa’s shirt, Clarke was surprised when Lexa detached from her neck and looked at her straight in the eyes.

She thought she’d done something wrong until Lexa slowly removed her shirt, only breaking contact with Clarke’s eyes when the shirt covered her own. Clarke watched in awe as the girl tore at the rest of her clothes, staring at Clarke the whole time.

When Lexa was down to her bra, she moved forward and begin to remove Clarke’s shirt. Lifting her hands up and allowing Lexa to undress her, the heat between Clarke’s legs grew more and more. Closing her eyes and feeling Lexa slide her jeans down to her ankles, Clarke’s head hit the wall as Lexa dipped her fingers into the waistband of Clarke’s underwear.

“Lexa,” Clarke whimpered, opening her eyes and staring down into Lexa’s eyes. The girl slid the ruined underwear down Clarke’s legs and as she trailed her fingers up and down Clarke’s sex, the blonde was mildly embarrassed about how wet she already was.

As Lexa moved her fingers teasingly, Clarke let out a heavy breath and bucked her hips trying to get more friction. But Lexa wouldn’t budge. The girl refused to give Clarke what she wanted.

“Stop teasing,” Clarke muttered breathlessly as Lexa sped up her movements.

Lexa looked deeply into Clarke’s eyes and grinned, “No.”

Raising her eyebrows at Lexa’s blatant refusal, Clarke pushed Lexa off her completely and pinned her against the door. Lexa let out a loud gasp at Clarke’s sudden movements, but Clarke just smiled and tore off her bra.

Clarke watched as Lexa raked her eyes over her bare chests, and sunk onto her knees. Pulling off Lexa’s underwear Clarke tapped her legs, urging the girl to open them. As Lexa did so, Clarke positioned herself right underneath the girl’s centre and pressed her mouth forward.

“ _Klark_ ,” Lexa breathed out, grabbing Clarke’s hair and tugging gently. “ _Beja, mou_.”

Knowing what happens when she teased the girl, Clarke lapped her tongue over Lexa’s clit and suckled down hard once she heard the girl moan loudly. Clutching at Lexa’s firm legs, Clarke dug her fingers into the muscle, feeling the vibrations of Lexa’s head hitting the door at the movement.

It only took a few more strong laps of Lexa’s sex for Clarke to hear the girl whimper, “Klark, I’m close.”

At the words, Clarke removed her mouth from Lexa and stood up. Lexa was looking at her with wild, shocked eyes, but Clarke simply moved up Lexa’s body and kissed her firmly on the lips. Lexa responded immediately, and Clarke used the hand on Lexa’s thigh to hoist her leg around her waist. Once the leg was wrapped around Clarke, she moved her hand quickly and thrusted two fingers deeply inside the girl.

Lexa cried out mid-kiss, and Clarke smiled smugly. Continuing to thrust in and out of the girl, making Lexa’s back hit the door with each other, it wasn’t long until Clarke felt Lexa’s walls clench around her. Kissing the girl as she came, Clarke rode out her orgasm with her until Lexa’s leg dropped and her breathing was relatively back to normal.

“So much – better than teasing,” Lexa said shakily, leaning her forehead against Clarke’s.

“I guess,” Clarke replied cheekily, bringing one hand up to slide down the strap of Lexa’s bra. Lexa grinned at her and moved off the door, allowing Clarke to remove her bra. Just the sight of Lexa’s breasts made Clarke wet, they were smaller than her own, but just as alluring. Clarke couldn’t help but reach out and touch them gently.

Lexa moaned at the contact but managed to mutter, “It’s your turn Clarke.”

She moved Clarke to the black lounge on the side of the room and pushed her down. Clarke liked seeing Lexa take control almost as much as she liked being in control herself. Lexa’s fingers instantly returned to Clarke’s centre, dipping slightly inside her. Letting out a deep moan and the touch, Clarke raked her fingers down Lexa’s back.

“Lexa … _beja_ ,” Clarke said, hoping she got the word for please correct. The look on Lexa’s face told Clarke she did. Lexa’s green eyes were full of lust and her mouth was opened slightly in surprise.

“Say that again,” Lexa demanded, pushing her fingers deeper into Clarke.

“ _Beja_ ,” Clarke whimpered. “ _Alekzandria_.”

Lexa withdrew her fingers and thrusted them back in fiercely, curling her fingers into Clarke’s sweet spot. Clarke cried out Lexa’s name again at the movement, and her back arched off the lounge. It wasn’t going to take her long to peak with Lexa’s pace increasing every second.

“I’m gonna -” Clarke groaned before Lexa withdrew her fingers and slid down her body. Clarke was unprepared for Lexa’s mouth pressing onto her just as she came. Her orgasmed pulsed throughout her whole body and Lexa’s tongue was lapping up the warm liquid. Pulling Lexa up to her face, Clarke kissed the girl lazily.  

“You’re so beautiful,” she heard Lexa whisper as her eyes shut from exhaustion.

Smiling she replied sleepily, “You’re so good at sex.”

Lexa laughed at that, and Clarke felt the girl pick her up and tuck her into the bed before she was fast asleep. 

*

The next morning, Clarke woke up with Lexa’s naked body wrapped around her. Smiling and turning around, Clarke found emerald eyes already looking at her.

“Morning,” Clarke said, pulling the girl closer and kissing her gently.

Lexa tucked some of Clarke’s hair around her ear and replied, “Hello.”

Snuggling closer into the girl, Clarke felt Lexa’s arms embrace her tighter. This was how it was supposed to be yesterday. All cuddles and post-sex happiness.

However, Clarke still had the question of what happened next in the back of her mind.

“Lexa?” Clarke said after a few moments of silence.

“Yes?” Lexa replied, looking down at the blonde.

Sitting up and letting the covers fall off her body, Clarke asked, “What happens once you take back Polaris?”

Lexa’s eyes went from Clarke’s bare chest to her eyes and she replied, “That’s entirely up to you, Clarke.”

“What do you mean?” Clarke asked with raised eyebrows.

Lexa sat up and moved closer to her body, placing a hand on Clarke’s knee, “Well you can go back to your normal life. Back to your apartment and Hugo’s gallery.”

Clarke’s face fell slightly at Lexa’s words. Their relationship was new, barely a month old, but Clarke didn’t want to leave Lexa. That’s the whole reason why she came with her. Why she has been desperately trying to keep a cool head about the whole situation.

“Or,” Lexa began, looking down at the bed. “You can come with me. To Polaris.”

Smiling, Clarke cupped Lexa’s face and brought it to her own. Placing a small kiss on the girl’s lips, Clarke replied, “Polaris sounds good to me.”

Lexa’s eyes widened and she said, “Are you sure, Clarke? It wouldn’t be easy. There is a lot of expectations.”

“It’s just as I said last night,” Clarke began. “I’ll follow you anywhere.”

“But your job, your family, your friends. You’d be leaving all of them just for me. I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

Clarke dropped her hands and said, “You’re not asking. I’m choosing to.”

“I just don’t think you understand what you’d be getting into,” Lexa said with caring eyes.

“I just don’t think you understand that I’m an adult, and I can make my own decisions,” Clarke spat, feeling dejected at Lexa’s lack of enthusiasm towards Clarke accompanying her to Polaris.

“Clarke, come on,” Lexa replied in a slightly harsh tone.

But Clarke had heard enough.

Climbing off the bed and walking over to the large wardrobe next to the bathroom, Clarke ignored Lexa’s annoyed sigh. Opening the drawers, she found a variety of different clothing options and opted for casual black tights and a white t-shirt before grabbing her phone off the nightstand.

Lexa reached out and grabbed Clarke’s arm, “Clarke, don’t be like this.”

Shaking off Lexa’s hand, Clarke replied, “I’m not the one making excuses, Lexa.”

Not giving the girl time to reply, Clarke stormed out of the door and slammed it behind her. Stomping down the stairs and turning her eyebrows in, Clarke was being the _definition_ of small child who doesn’t get her way.

Because Clarke had expected Lexa to be happy about her wanting to go to Polaris. Not find excuses for her not to come.

As she walked into the dining room, Clarke found three pairs of eyes looking at her. Raegon, Selena and Gustus were already halfway through breakfast and Indra was no where to be seen. Sitting down next to Selena, Clarke shovelled bacon and eggs onto her plate.

“Are you alright, Clarke?” Selena asked, looking at Clarke’s frowning face and angry stabs at the meat.

“I’m fine,” Clarke answered stiffly, before hearing footsteps coming down the hallway.

Lexa rounded the corner and as the girl sat across from her, next to Gustus, Clarke deliberately stared down at the plate of her food. Shovelling in bite after bite so she could get the hell out of the room.

“Slow down, Clarke. You’ll give yourself heartburn,” Lexa said, before slurping on a cup of coffee.

“Thanks _Mom_ ,” Clarke replied snarkily.

Lexa gave her a pointed look before grabbing her own food, and Clarke could feel Raegon and Gustus’ eyes on them. After enduring the painfully awkward breakfast, Clarke excused herself and left the room.

Finding a quiet place in one of the many living rooms, Clarke got out her phone and began dialling her mother’s phone number.

“ _Hello?_ ” Abby answered.

“Hey Mom,” Clarke replied, twiddling her thumbs.

“Clarke, how are you?” she asked hurriedly, obviously trying to skip the small talk.

Rolling her eyes to herself, Clarke said, “I’m good. I’m just calling to tell you that I won’t at my apartment for a while.”

Abby was silent for a few moments before asking, “And why’s that?”

“I’m on a … trip. A trip with Lexa and her family,” Clarke responded proudly. She was quite smug about her choice of lie.

Clarke wasn’t entirely sure whether she was allowed to tell her mother any details, but she didn’t want to go and ask Lexa. A lie would do for now.

“A trip? Where? What about your job?” Abby questioned.

“Mom, I’m safe and my job is fine. Stop worrying.”

Ten minutes and multiple assurances later, and Abby finally let Clarke hang up. One down, two to go. Calling Hugo next, Clarke hastily explained that she was out of the city but could still work. Hugo agreed to send Clarke emails on what her clients wanted and was surprisingly cool about the whole thing.

However, she decided that texting Bellamy would be easier than trying to explain everything over call.

**SmittenGriffin: Hey Grandpa, just letting you know I’m not going to be home for our Star Wars marathon Friday. Apologies :)**

Bellamy’s reply was almost instant and it made Clarke laugh.

**GrandpaBlake: O told me all about it last night! Have a fun holiday with Sexy Lexi! ;)**

Putting down her phone, Clarke picked up the nearby remote and turned on the television. The surround sound was incredible, and the TV itself was huge, taking up half the wall. Flicking through the channels, Clarke was unsurprised to find that there was nothing except news on. She was just about to put on a movie when a news headline caught her eye.

_Polaris’ Regent appeals to kidnappers: Give me my nephew back!_

“Lexa!” Clarke exclaimed, pausing the screen. Their fight from earlier completely vanishing as she saw the older woman staring at her through the screen. Just seeing the woman’s dirty blonde hair and piercing blue eyes frightened Clarke. She couldn’t imagine how Raegon lived with her for so long.

“Clarke?” Lexa said, rushing into the room with Gustus in tow. “Are you alright?”

Clarke pointed the remote and pressed play in response.

“ _A week ago my beloved nephew, Prince Raegon of Polaris, was kidnapped out of the palace by three unknown men,_ ” the woman started.

When she looked over at Lexa, Clarke saw the utter horror written across her face. The girl sunk into the space next to her and Clarke instinctively put an arm around her. Fight or no, Clarke couldn’t let Lexa suffer alone.

“ _The Polarian Police have been working tirelessly on the case, but they are without any leads. So I am here today to appeal to those who took them to_ please _bring him home_ ,” Nia stated, earning a hiss from Lexa. “ _And to those who have any information at all – please come forward.”_

Nia’s eyes turned to the screen again and seemingly pointed at Lexa, “ _Because how would you feel if someone_ took away _the person you cared for most in the world?”_

“I’d like to see you fucking try,” Lexa snarled, before grabbing the remote and turning off the television.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigedaslenggg:  
> alekzandria - alexandria (i made this one up lmao pls forgive me)  
> hod op - stop  
> en's ait - it's okay  
> beja, mou - please, more
> 
> hehe hope yall liked the safe house :) i know Clexa did (when they weren't fighting). that endin' tho, NIA is coming and yall aint prepared!!!!!!!!
> 
> up next: clexa talk about the future (for real) and the wedding squad is back in action.


	18. eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa loses Monopoly again and Clarke gets a call from an old friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this week has been hectic! i had my last exam and then it was my birthday, so i went out on the town for the first time. now that the semester is done and i've had my weekend off, expect mannnnny more updates! enjoy xx

**Lexa**

Three days after the news segment, Nia had already scrambled together a Polaris-wide search for Raegon. Lexa almost lost it after Nia used her words on the television to directly threaten Clarke, but she was close to breaking every time she saw her aunt feigning tears and sadness for her brother on the news or in the paper. However, it seemed like she was the only one even slightly concerned about Nia and her ‘search’. Indra and Gustus were both completely unfazed by Nia, simply telling Lexa, ‘You and the hainofa are protected. Clarke is protected. Focus on your plans for Polaris.’

Lexa couldn’t focus on Polaris, she threw herself into the case against Nia. Devoting most of the following days to familiarising herself with each aspect of the case. The evidence was stacking up against Nia, with her alibi for the night of the shooting falling apart and two maids coming forward to Indra. They had Nia’s motive set in stone – with Ida out of the way, Lexa’s ‘disappearance’ and Raegon’s forthcoming abdication, Nia would be set to rule Polaris and inherit the Trigeda millions. And with Indra travelling to Polaris soon to make sure the maids are going to testify, they could prove Nia had opportunity. All they needed was a way to prove Nia had the means to kill Ida.

They needed the gun and they needed Nia’s confession.

But Lexa had no idea how they were going to get it.

With her new involvement with the case, she’d barely seen Clarke. The blonde was still slightly frustrated with their conversation the day of Nia’s broadcast, and Lexa was giving her time to cool down before bringing up the subject again. Selena and Raegon kept her busy while Lexa was with Indra and Gustus, with games of Monopoly and movie marathons. Lexa knew Clarke was slightly frustrated with the amount of time she spent away from her, and by the fourth day at the safe house, Lexa could no longer avoid finishing the talk about their future. Cornering Clarke on their balcony, Lexa peered over the girls shoulder and smiled when she saw Clarke painting the view. Snowy mountains upon snowy mountains and a bright blue sky to top it off. The girl had made great use of the painting equipment Lexa had sent for.

“I know you’re there,” Clarke said, not looking up from her canvas. Lexa could see she had the hint of a smile across her face and her nervous eased.

“Nothing gets by you, Clarke,” Lexa replied, pulling up a chair and sitting next to her. “I thought we should talk more about … after all of this.”

Clarke’s face showed no signs of surprise and she simply replied, “Talk then.”

Rolling her eyes at Clarke’s bluntness, Lexa said, “Well, you didn’t let me explain myself the other day. You just chucked a tantrum before I could tell you that you leaving your family isn’t just what I’m worried about.”

The girl moved to face her and clasped Lexa’s hands in hers. Lexa smiled slightly before continuing, “I’m going to be a ruler, a protector of thousands. I’m always going to be busy with meetings and hearings and appearances – especially in the months leading up to my coronation.”

Clarke’s eyes were trained on Lexa’s as the girl tried to explain herself properly. “I know you’ve been unhappy with how little time I’ve spent with you _now_ , and in Polaris it’s going to be so much worse.”

Clarke opened her mouth slightly and froze for a second before replying, “I’m never going to like being away from you – but I understand that you need to work on the case. Just like I’ll understand why you’re away from me in Polaris.”

The girl’s words were comforting but Lexa couldn’t let Clarke make this decision rashly.

“Maybe so, but at least if you were in TonDC you’d have friends around you. I just don’t want you to be alone,” Lexa said cautiously, cupping Clarke’s face gently.

Clarke looked at her with wide eyes before tightening her lips and meekly replying, “I don’t want to leave you.”

Smiling and bringing Clarke’s forehead to hers, “You won’t, we can make it work either way. Don’t get me wrong Clarke - I want you in Polaris with me, I want to wake up next to you every morning – but I don’t want you to grow to resent me because I’m not around as much.”

“I could never resent you, Lex,” Clarke said. “But I understand what you mean. Let me think more about it.”

Nodding and leaning in and placing a small kiss against Clarke’s lips, Lexa left Clarke to her painting and wandered back down the stairs.

Finding Indra waiting with the guards, Lexa raised an eyebrow and asked, “Indra? Did you need something?”

Indra placed her hands behind her back and said, “I was wondering if you would like to spar, Prisa? It’s been a while.”

Lexa smiled and replied, “Of course, let me go and change.”

*

Twenty minutes later and Lexa was pushing herself off the grass for what felt like the fiftieth time. After all her years away, Lexa was brutally reminded of how she was no match for the older woman. Lincoln had been a good sparring partner, but Indra was something else. They’d been dancing under Lexa and Clarke’s balcony, and Lexa knew the blonde was watching from her easel. The thought made her nervous, and the fact that Indra was pummelling her did her ego no favours.

Steadying herself again, Lexa blocked two of the woman’s hits before once again being kicked to the ground. Lexa realised shouldn’t have expected to win this fight, especially not when she couldn’t beat her mentor even when she was at her peak.

Lexa had only ever come close to beating Indra one time. It was the week after her parent’s car accident and the anger Lexa felt fuelled her body. However when Indra had defeated her, Lexa stayed on the ground as the sadness she felt overrode her anger. Lying there on the ground, Lexa shed the first of many tears over her parent’s death, and Indra had instantly dropped to her knees and pulled Lexa into her arms, allowing her to grieve.

In the present day, Indra stood atop her and said, “Concede.”

“ _Nowe_ ,” Lexa spat, pushing the hand away and standing up again. “ _Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim._ ”

Lexa swore she saw a hint of a smile on the woman’s face before placing her clenched fists in front of her. Swinging out hard and fast, Lexa landed a hit on the side of Indra’s face. The woman grunted before throwing a punch and hitting Lexa in the jaw.

“Alexandria, do you really want to lose in front of Clarke?” Indra said nodding her head up to Clarke.

Sneaking another glance at her girlfriend, Lexa saw the concerned look on her face. Turning back to Indra, Lexa spun around and kicked Indra hard in the stomach. The woman bent over as the air left her lungs. Lexa used this time to her advantage, tripping Indra and standing over her chest.

“Concede,” Lexa said mockingly.

However, a millisecond later Indra’s hand grabbed Lexa’s leg and pulled it off her body causing Lexa to topple to the ground. Lexa hit her back hard and her ankle hurt from the landing, but she got back up as quickly as she could.

“Clarke must be laughing at your form, Prisa. It’s terrible,” Indra said.

 _“Why must you embarrass me like this, Indra?”_ Lexa muttered in Polarian.

The torment Clarke will give her for this will be worse than when she lost Monopoly.

“It is what Orin would’ve wanted,” Indra replied with a smile. “You remember how he teased Ida in front of her boyfriends.”

Lexa’s fists dropped a bit and her face contorted at the mention of her father and sister. Still their names stung like a fresh wound.

Indra noticed the change and dropped her own fists. “ _Moba, Prisa.”_

Shaking her head, Lexa said, “It’s alright, Indra.”

Indra glanced behind Lexa and said in her native tongue, “ _You’re in trouble._ ”

Twisting around, Lexa saw Clarke with her hands over her chest. Shooting Indra a look, Lexa walked sheepishly over to her with her own hands behind her back. When she was close enough, Clarke tenderly took Lexa’s jaw and examined it with narrow eyes.

“Enjoy the show?” Lexa asked with a grin.

“That’s going to be a nasty bruise,” Clarke said, ignoring Lexa.

“Answer my question, Griffin.”

The blonde scoffed and said, “Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed watching you get your ass handed to you.”

*

**Clarke**

“Fuck this,” Lexa growled, knocking down all of her houses and hotels. “Why couldn’t we have played Scrabble?”

Clarke poked out her tongue and threw her Monopoly money up in the air. They’d begun with Gustus and Selena playing, however Selena had gone bankrupt shortly into Clarke’s reign of terror. Gustus had held on for an hour longer, but in the end it had been Lexa and Clarke remaining.

Indra and Raegon had been spectators, but Clarke expected everyone to leave after it was down to her and Lexa. However the gang had stayed, looking on intently. When Clarke had asked them, Raegon simply replied, “Seeing Dria lose Monopoly is the most entertaining thing we’ve witnessed in days.”

“Chin up, baby. You know you never stood a chance,” Clarke said with a smile.

Lexa rolled her eyes and stormed away from the table in a huff. If only the people of Polaris knew how much of a sore loser their future Queen was. As Clarke began packing up the game, Selena also lent a hand, helping Clarke separate the money into their separate slots.

“I see things have improved with the Prisa,” she noted.

Clarke smiled and said, “We’re better, yes.”

“I’m glad,” Selena said with a grin. “I hope that means you’ll be coming with us home?”

Shrugging and putting the lid back on the Monopoly box, Clarke replied, “I’m not sure yet, Selena.”

The younger girl nodded and took the box from Clarke, “I’ll put this away. You better go console Alexandria, she looks devastated.”

Laughing at Selena’s words, Clarke wandered off to find Lexa. As she entered their room, Clarke noticed the buzzing of her phone. Racing over to catch it, Clarke hoped it was Octavia or Raven. She’d spoken with them yesterday, but Clarke was missing them more and more.

“Hello?” Clarke said into the phone.

“Hello, Clarke Griffin,” a familiar voice said through the phone.

Clarke’s throat restricted slightly and she immediately stepped out onto her balcony, in case Lexa was to hear anything.

“Who is this?” Clarke demanded, shutting the door behind her.

The husky voice responded almost immediately. “You know who this is. Your friend from the park.”

Having the stranger confirm Clarke’s fears, the blonde instantly went on the defensive, “The line is secure; you can’t trace it. You’re wasting your time, Roan.”

Roan laughed across the line and said, “Clearly it’s not that secure, considering I’m on the phone to you.”

“I don’t care, Roan,” Clarke said hastily. “Don’t call this number again.”

“I have a proposition for you, Clarke. So if you want Raven and your mother to keep breathing, you’d best stay on the line,” Roan seethed.

Clarke’s heart started racing and fear ran through her veins, “What have you done to them?”

“Nothing … yet,” Roan replied. “Anyways, the deal is that I _won’t_ kill your friend and mommy, and in return all you have to do is deliver me the Prisa and Hainofa.”

Clarke’s stomach dropped and a strange ringing sounded in her ears as she responded in a horrified voice, “ _What_?”

“I want you to bring me Alexandria and Raegon, and if you don’t I’ll kill your mother and best friend,” Roan repeated slowly, as if Clarke’s ‘what’ was a sign of miscommunication.

“You’re lying,” Clarke said.

Roan laughed again and said, “Raven lives in your apartment and your mother works at the TonDC hospital – test me and see if I’m lying.”

Tears escaped Clarke’s eyes as she sunk to her knees, staring out at the mountains in front of her. What the fuck was she supposed to do? Give up her girlfriend and her brother, or let her mother and best friend be killed?

“This must be hard for you Clarke, because either way someone you care about is going to die,” Roan said bluntly after Clarke had been silent for more than thirty seconds. “But look at the bright side – at least I’m letting you choose!”

A sob escaped Clarke’s throat at Roan’s complete lack of empathy, and she said spitefully, “Gee thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. Now, do you have a decision?” Roan asked.

“I – I can’t …” Clarke stuttered out, not knowing what she was supposed to say. She couldn’t choose. The thought made her sick.

Roan was silent for a few moments before saying, “How about you just surprise me? Tomorrow at 9am I’ll be waiting for you at your gallery in TonDC, and if you don’t show up with the Prisa and Hainofa I’ll have your answer. But Clarke…”

“Wh-at,” Clarke choked out.

“If you alert the Prisa or her mentor to the situation, I’ll take _that_ as your choice as well.”

As Roan hung up the phone, Clarke let her own device slide out of her hands. A few more sobs escaped her throat as she tried to think of what she could possibly do. Clarke knew she had to think fast – she had less than fourteen hours until Roan’s offer was up and she was sure to run into Lexa any time now. As her mind flew through all options, Clarke came to one re-occurring conclusion. There was only one way to even _try_ and best Roan.

Picking up her phone, Clarke punched in Raven’s number and was relieved when she picked up on the first ring.

“Clarkey, I miss you,” Raven greeted in a sing-song voice.

“Raven, where are you?” Clarke demanded with a cracked voice.

Raven was quiet for a few moments before replying, “At Anya’s, why? Clarke are you okay?”

Relief surged through Clarke at Raven’s words. She was safe. At least for now. Clarke just hoped Roan worked alone and not with an army of scouts following Raven and her mother.

“Rae, stay with Anya in her apartment. _Do NOT_ under any circumstance go back to ours. Do you hear me?” Clarke said desperately.

“Clarke, what’s going on?” Raven persisted, muttering something to Anya. “I’m going to put Anya on, okay?”

Hanging up the phone instantly, Clarke knew that Anya would likely call Lexa at any second and that she only had limited time to call her mother.

“Clarke, how are you?” Abby greeted on the second ring.

Sucking in a deep breath Clarke said, “Are you at home?”

“Uh… no,” her mother responded quite awkwardly. “I’m at a … friends.”

“Are you with Marcus?” Clarke asked bluntly.

Abby was quiet for a few seconds before saying, “Yes.”

Letting out a breath of relief, Clarke said, “Stay there. Don’t go to work tomorrow.”

“Clarke, what’s going on?” Abby demanded.

“I can’t tell you, Mom. But do not go to work tomorrow. And don’t go back to your house either. Just stay with Marcus until I get to you okay?” Clarke responded.

“Clarke -”

“Mom! Just do as I say!” Clarke yelled.

Abby was silent once more before saying, “Okay. I will.”

Hanging up the phone again without another word, Clarke raced into her room and threw the phone on the bed before locking the door. Grabbing a heavy jacket and boots, Clarke grabbed a small bag out of the stocked cupboards and shoved her wallet in it along with some more clothes.

The only way to protect Lexa and Raegon now was for Clarke to leave. Roan would just keep trying harder and harder to break her, and she couldn’t allow herself to be the weak link of the group. Clarke knew that Lexa and Raegon would be protected with or without her, however, her friends and mother weren’t. She needed to go and explain the situation to them, and keep them safe until Lexa took back Polaris.

Clarke dropped her phone to the floor one last time before hovering her foot over it. She was just about to stomp down on the device when suddenly the door knob twisted.

“Clarke? Why is the door locked?” Lexa questioned, rattling on the door knob. “Let me in, I need my phone to Facetime Lincoln and Octavia.”

Clarke ignored her and brought her foot down on her phone. When it didn’t completely crack, Clarke grabbed it and threw it hard against the wall.

“Clarke! What’s going on!?” Lexa asked in a raised voice. “Open the door!”

Walking over to the phone, Clarke heard Lexa yell for Indra and she knew that actually leaving was going to be a struggle. There was no way in hell Lexa would let Clarke leave without a fight. Especially when it had just begun snowing.

Clarke was ejecting the sim card of her phone and snapping it when Lexa and Indra unlocked the door. Lexa immediately raced over to Clarke and looked at her up and down.

“What’s going on?” Lexa asked again, observing the puffiness of Clarke’s face and her tear streaked cheeks. “What’s wrong, Clarke?”

Lexa reached out to touch her but Clarke pulled away, dropping the remnants of her phone and sim card on the floor and picking up her bag.

“No-thing,” Clarke choked out, struggling to keep her voice even and eyes from watering.

“Clarke, tell me please. What happened?” Lexa persisted.

Clarke shook her head violently, before replying, “I need to leave.”

*

**Lexa**

Her eyes widened in shock at Clarke’s words. What had happened? One minute Clarke was destroying her at Monopoly, and the next she was crying and locking Lexa out of their room. Looking down at the ground, almost immediately Lexa put together the pieces.

Clarke would _never_ smash her phone – that thing was like her damn baby. There was no way Clarke would wreck it, not unless she felt like there was no other choice.

And there was only one person Lexa could think of that would’ve called Clarke.

“He called you didn’t you, Clarke?” Lexa questioned, bringing Clarke’s face to look at hers. “Roan.”

Lexa could see Clarke fighting some sort of inner battle, but eventually gave a short nod before grabbing Lexa’s arm.

“He threatened my mom and Raven, Lexa. He threatened to _kill_ them if I didn’t…  if I didn’t.”

“Didn’t what?” Indra piped in from behind Lexa.

Clarke sucked in a breath before saying, “If I didn’t give you and Raegon to him. He wants me to take you two to the gallery tomorrow, so he can do god knows what with you.”

Taking a step back from Clarke, Lexa breathed in heavily and grabbed the bed post to steady herself. Clarke’s mom and Raven _could not_ die for her.

“I couldn’t choose, Lexa! I _wouldn’t_. If I leave, he’ll stop using me to get to you. I’m the weak link.”

Anger rose up in Lexa and she snarled, “You are _not_ weak. And you are not leaving.” Clarke looked as if she were about to argue, but Lexa turned to Indra and said, “Arrange for Abby Griffin and Raven Reyes to be transported here. Immediately.”

“No, Lexa!” Clarke yelled. “We can’t just bring everyone we care about to this house.”

“Yes we can,” Lexa replied stiffly. “That’s the point of a safe house Clarke – to keep those we care about safe.”

Clarke shook her head again and said, “If I leave I can protect them and Roan won’t be able to use them against me. He won’t be able to make me choose.”

Indra spoke up at this point and said, “Wherever you go, Roan _will_ follow. You will have made your choice very clear.”

“Well at least his attention will be on me and not on you guys,” Clarke choked out.

“I won’t allow that,” Lexa said, standing up and walking back over to Clarke. “No one is going to die, Clarke. No one.”

Clarke looked up at her anxiously, clearly not convinced by Lexa’s words. As she started at Clarke, Lexa’s mind was buzzing and all she could think about was how she was going to fix this. Roan was never going to stop. It was clear he was Nia’s most valuable assassin, and there was no way he’d go back to his _Kwin_ empty handed.

However, after a few moments of silence an idea implanted itself in Lexa’s brain and she wondered why she had not thought of it sooner.

“Let’s go to the gallery tomorrow, Clarke,” Lexa announced, earning a confused glare from Indra and a shake of the head from Clarke.

“No, Lexa. You said no one was going to die,” Clarke pleaded. “He _will_ kill you.”

Lexa shook her head and smiled, “Do not fear for me Clarke, I’m not giving myself up.”

“ _Prisa_?” Indra questioned with raised brows.

Raising her head, Lexa said proudly, “Let’s go to the gallery and get this motherfucker.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigedasleng (also, i've started using italics for sentences in Trigedasleng, just because there weren't any translations!):  
> nowe - never  
> ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim - get knocked down, get back up  
> moba, prisa - apologies, princess
> 
> yewww so there ya have it! lexa is so vulgar and i luv it. i can't bloody wait to see roan squirm when lexa goes full heda next chapter lmao
> 
> also IS ANYONE EXCITED FOR THANKSGIVING AND CHRISTMAS CHAPTERS????? BC I AM????? its gonna be domESTIc as FUCK


	19. nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clexagon get Roan and Heda!Lexa makes her grand appearance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy update, this is the longest chapter i've EVER written! its at 5k and i think i'm going to start pushing myself to that mark again bc damn did it feel good when i finished it!! hope you enjoy x

**Lexa**

“What if this doesn’t work, Lex?” Clarke questioned quietly as she buttoned up Lexa’s white shirt for her.

Catching Clarke’s eye and holding it, Lexa replied, “It will.”

The blonde had tossed and turned constantly throughout the three hours of rest they got, and had a look of concern permanently etched on her face. It was obvious that though Lexa had absolute faith that the plan would work, Clarke so clearly did not. The six of them had been awake practically all night preparing for how they were going to take out Roan. Even Selena, who had nothing to do with it at all, had stayed awake and contributed where she could. Lexa found herself being slightly impressed at her dedication.

According to Raegon, Roan had always been at Nia’s side – like her own personal body guard. Lexa suggested that Roan was likely Nia’s most valuable asset and her most experienced assassin. Which is why Nia sent him to fulfil the task of taking Lexa and Raegon. Because of this, the group agreed that Roan would foresee that Clarke would likely double cross him and bring an array of guards of his own to assist him. It was Raegon who suggested sending half of their guards to the gallery earlier this morning. His reasoning for this was that the minute they moved on Roan, he would immediately call for his backup and then they would then be the ones trapped. However, if his backup was removed before he got the chance to call for them, Lexa and the remaining guards can take Roan out. It was vital that the guards weren’t seen, however, because if Roan got one word of an attack, it would be game over.

However, as far as Lexa was concerned, the most risky part of the plan was going to be convincing Roan to believe Lexa and Raegon were not aware of his phone call with Clarke. Lexa had brought up the fact that Roan would likely not step foot in the gallery until he was certain they were completely clueless, and that they were unguarded. Gustus and Indra were both not pleased on the idea of having Raegon, Clarke and Lexa walk in alone, but Clarke said it was the only way. She said that if Roan even got a whiff of it being a trap, Raven and her mother wouldn’t be safe. As for convincing Roan that Raegon and Lexa were clueless, Selena had suggested that they act like they were coming to show Raegon Clarke’s pieces.

“Alexandria, Clarke, it’s time to leave,” Indra called from downstairs.

Clutching Clarke’s hand and kissing her gently on the lips, Lexa nudged her head and led them out of the room. She could feel Clarke shaking through her hand, and Lexa squeezed it trying to reassure her everything was going to be fine.

“ _Ogud_?” Gustus asked Lexa as they walked into the foyer of the house.

“ _Sha, Gustus_ ,” Lexa smiled in return, before muttering in Polarian, “ _Though, I am worried about Klark’s nerves._ ”

Gustus smiled and Clarke said with a frown, “Are you talking about me? I heard you say _Klark_ , Lex.”

Shrugging her shoulders and grinning at the blonde, Lexa leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. Raegon and Selena were huddled close, and Lexa could tell Selena was also nervous about the plan. The girl would not be coming into the gallery with them, but would be staying hidden with Indra and Gustus. Lexa had suggested she just stay at the house, but Raegon insisted that she would be more vulnerable there alone than actually accompanying them.

“ _Gon we_ ,” Indra instructed, gesturing towards the door.

*

In the hour car ride it took them to get to TonDC, Lexa had noticed Clarke’s inability to keep still. She suspected it was due to nerves, but it annoyed Lexa all the same. Did Clarke have absolutely no faith in Lexa at all? Did she not trust Lexa to keep her safe?

Eventually as they rounded the corner to the gallery, Lexa pressed her forehead to Clarke’s and whispered, “Stop worrying. You’re going to be fine. Trust me. _Wich in ai_.”

Clarke smiled a bit before replying, “It’s not me I’m worried about, Lex. I’m worried about you and Raegon. About Raven and Octavia, Lincoln and Anya, Bell and Mom. I’m worried that if something goes wrong, they’re all going to end up dead.”

Lexa’s gut dropped at Clarke’s words, and she lifted the blonde’s chin upwards and said, “I would die before I let any harm come to you or Raegon or anyone we care about. It’s not going to happen.”

The blonde nodded, but Lexa could still see traces of concern etched on her face. Looking behind her, she noticed Raegon’s eyes already on her. He didn’t look scared, and for that Lexa was relieved. She didn’t need to worry about Raegon doubting her as well.

“ _Ogud_?” Lexa asked.

“ _Ogud_ ,” was his reply. The tension between them had eased up considerably since their argument at the dinner table, mainly due to Lexa’s efforts with Selena. Lexa was glad. She could imagine what her Nomon and Nontu would’ve been saying if they were there – it would’ve been something along the lines of ‘You’re all each other has left! Stop your fighting or no dessert for a week!’

As they came to a stop at the gallery, Indra turned around to reinstate the plan.

“We’ll be in there with you as soon as we see Roan enter,” Indra said. “We’ve got the gallery covered from all entrances, we won’t miss him.”

Lexa nodded and said, “ _Mochof, Indra_ ,” before clambering out of the car with Raegon and Clarke. The blonde led the way into the gallery, obviously trying her best to keep a straight face. This portion of the plot required for the threesome to be relatively good actors, and Lexa knew she would have no trouble at all with it.

As they stepped into the gallery, Clarke greeted Hugo before announcing loudly, “Here we are, Raegon. Over to the right, you’ll see all of my paintings.”

Extending her arm to point to the right side of the gallery, Lexa and Raegon moved to the area and began looking intently at the portraits.

“They’re amazing, Clarke. We’ll have to get some for the palace,” Raegon said and Lexa smiled, knowing there was little lie to his words.

“Are you sure that this was worth leaving the cabin, Raegon?” Lexa asked, looking around the empty gallery. Hugo had disappeared into the office, but there was no sign of Roan.

“Sha, Dria. Clarke was the one who offered anyways,” Raegon replied, moving closer to the paintings.

Clarke straightened herself before adding shakily, “Well, I figured the paintings were worth the risk.”

Lexa nodded before resting an arm around Clarke’s waist. Clarke leaned her head into the dip of Lexa’s neck and sighed out heavily. Though Roan had yet to walk through the doors, Lexa knew he would be listening in to their conversation, so it was vital they kept up the charade.

“I still don’t think this was a good idea,” Lexa stated as the doors suddenly opened to the gallery. Turning her head, Lexa opened her mouth in fake surprise. Throwing herself in front of Clarke, and grabbing Raegon behind her also, Lexa bared her teeth to the man.

Roan strode forward, and said snidely, “I don’t think it was either. Clarke how _silly_ of you to suggest it.”

“ _Roan_ ,” Lexa snarled, before turning to Clarke and saying, “You swore that this place was secure, Clarke!”

Roan stepped closer, not ten feet away from the threesome now. “Trust is dangerous, Alexandria. Especially when placed in the wrong people.”

As Lexa stared at Clarke, the blonde stepped around her and said, “I’m sorry, Lexa. It was you or my family. I had no choice.”

“What is this?!” Lexa growled, pulling Raegon closer. “Clarke, what have you done?!”

Clarke moved closer to Roan and asked, “Are Raven and my mom okay?”

Roan flashed her a charming smile and answered, “Of course. I am a man of my word.”

Watching as the blonde stood next to the man, Lexa couldn’t help but feel slightly concerned for the next part. One foot out of place and Clarke was dead.

“Dria,” Raegon said helplessly from behind her. “It’s me he wants – just give me to him.”

“ _Nowe_ ,” Lexa replied gruffly, glaring at Roan who just had an evil grin across his face. “I’ve taken you down before, I can do it again.”

At Lexa’s words, Roan grabbed Clarke and held a dagger to her throat. “Come with me now, or I’ll slit her throat.”

Her stomach dropped at seeing Clarke’s neck pressed towards the dagger, but they had prepared for this outcome.

“Do it,” Lexa said, looking at Roan intently.

“ _Chit_?” Roan asked in surprise. “I know she betrayed you and all, but isn’t that a little rough, Prisa?”

Lexa smiled and replied, “I wasn’t talking to you.”

The man had a look of confusion etched across his face, but Clarke was fast. The blonde reached into her pocket and jammed a tranquiliser into Roan’s side. He cried out in pain, releasing Clarke in the process. Clarke stepped away from Roan as Lexa strode forward, watching him sink to the ground. He was almost gone, but used his final moments of consciousness to click something on his watch.

“ _Sis au, nau!_ ” he exclaimed into the watch, that was clearly a form of communication.

Lexa crouched next to him as no response came and she whispered, “You don’t think we thought of that already?”

Roan stared up at her in shock, and Lexa kept a smile on her face until the man’s eyes drooped and he dropped into unconsciousness.

*

**Clarke**

With Roan tied up and handcuffed in the boot of the car, Clarke was feeling slightly better about the plan. It seemed that with the most risky part of the plan over, everyone felt more at ease. Lexa was resting next to her, with her head on Clarke’s shoulder, and Raegon was talking in Polarian with Selena. Indra and Gustus were silent in the front of the car, but Clarke could tell by their relaxed body language that they were relieved.

They were travelling to one of Gustus’ warehouses just outside of TonDC to lock Roan up for the time being. They couldn’t let him go, but they couldn’t kill him either. The only option was to keep him prisoner until all of this was over.

It wasn’t an option Clarke particularly liked, mainly because if Roan did manage to escape Raven and her mom were the first on his hitlist. But she also didn’t like it because she despised the fact that he was basically a prisoner of war.

“You think far too loudly,” Lexa mused, lifting her head up to look at Clarke in the eyes. “What troubles you?”

Slumping back into her seat, Clarke said, “You’re not going to treat Roan horribly right? Like he’s going to have food and blankets and stuff?”

Lexa quirked her eyebrows and said, “This man threatened your family directly and you care about his sleeping arrangements?”

“I don’t know Lex, it just makes me uneasy. He’s a horrible person, but I don’t want to be responsible for someone suffering more than they should have to.”

The girl pulled Clarke closer and said, “You care too much, _niron_. And you worry for nothing. Roan will have the necessities that all prisoners are entitled to.”

“ _Niron_?” Clarke asked.

Lexa’s eyes flashed with regret and she moved away from Clarke before saying, “It means girlfriend.”

Clarke suspected that this was a lie, but the car stopped before she got the chance to question her further. Indra opened their door and Clarke stepped out, immediately intimidated by the warehouse.

It was a huge block of cement with few windows and only one door leading inside. Flashing a look of concern at Lexa, Clarke grabbed her hand to help the brunette out of the car.

“What exactly does Gustus use this for?” Clarke questioned quietly so the man himself didn’t hear.

Lexa smiled and said with a grin, “Situations like this I suppose.”

Clarke opened her mouth in shock before Lexa winked. Elbowing the girl, Clarke began to follow Indra into the place. Gustus and about five guards carried a still unconscious Roan in behind them whilst Raegon and Selena caught up to Lexa and Clarke. Lexa had insisted on the six of them waiting until Roan woke up. She wanted to talk to him – suss out as much information about Nia as she could.

The inside of the warehouse matched the outside, being so empty it was scary. However, when Indra led them down to the basement, Clarke felt even more uneasy. There was a makeshift cell, with a bed and toilet. How Gustus had prepared all of this in the space of twelve hours amazed Clarke.

The guards and Gustus placed Roan in the cell before handcuffing his hands in front of him, and striding out of the basement. Gustus stayed however, and kicked Roan urging him to wake up. Lexa walked into the cell, but when Clarke followed her, she held out her hand in front of the blonde.

“You stay behind the bars,” she commanded with a stern look.

Rolling her eyes Clarke said, “As if, Lex.”

“ _Nou Klark_ ,” Lexa pleaded with angry eyes.

Clarke matched her look fiercely before pushing her way past Lexa and standing in the back of the cell. The brunette glared at her before conceding and following her inside. The cell was quite spacey so there was plenty of room for the girls and Gustus, however Roan was still yet to gain consciousness.

“How much was in that tranquiliser?” Clarke questioned.

“He should awaken soon,” Lexa concluded. “Indra only put enough in the needle to knock him out. Not enough to make him sleep for hours.”

Not ten minutes later and Lexa’s prediction came true. Roan fluttered his eyes open and Lexa was immediately in front of him, pushing Gustus to the side. When Gustus tried to protest, Lexa simply raised her hand and Gustus backed off.

Roan muttered something in Polarian before realising where he was. As soon as he laid eyes on Clarke, he smiled evilly.

“Big mistake, Clarke Griffin,” he said, still smiling before Lexa cut him off. The brunette got right in his face and glared down at him.

“You _don’t_ speak to her,” Lexa growled.

Roan opened his mouth to reply, but before he could Lexa fist came down on his jaw. It happened so fast, Clarke didn’t even notice it happening until it had. Gasping, Clarke watched as Gustus exited the cell.

“You’ve got a hell of a punch there, _Prisa_. I’ll give you that,” Roan muttered. “But did you really think I didn’t plan for this?”

“If you’re talking of the guards that accompanied you to TonDC, they’re already unconscious in a ditch somewhere,” Lexa concluded proudly.

Clarke bit her lip as Roan’s smile did not falter. The man did not look intimidated by Lexa, nor did he appear to be worried about the fact that he had no backup coming to rescue him.

“Then why am I still alive?” Roan asked, smiling and looking only at Clarke. Lexa zeroed in on him, blocking his eyesight to Clarke.

Clarke could only see the back of Lexa and the side of Roan, but Lexa’s voice was menacing as she started her inquisition.

“If you value your life at all, you will tell us of Nia’s plans. What is her next move? Does she know we are coming for her? How much power does she hold over my people?”

Lexa moved slightly and Clarke saw the completely relaxed look on Roan’s face as he answered, “I do value my life, _Prisa_ , which is why I’m not telling you a thing.”

 The girl moved away from him at that, looking at Clarke as she removed her jacket and pulled out a dagger from the pocket.

“Lexa!” Clarke exclaimed. “What are you doing?!”

“We need information, Clarke!” she shouted in response before turning back to Roan. “And I’m _not_ leaving without it.”

“You can hurt me all you like, I will never give up _ai Kwin_ ,” Roan replied as Lexa twisted the dagger in her hands.

Clarke felt the fire build up in Lexa as Roan uttered the words, and she was slightly terrified when Lexa stabbed the man in the shoulder blade angrily.

“I am your Queen,” she snarled as she removed the blade. “And anything she could do to you, I will do worse. You think it is death I desire for you?”

Lexa got in the man’s face again before adding, “If you do not give me what I need, death will be what _you_ desire.”

Roan gulped slightly at the look in Lexa’s eye, and Clarke edged closer noticing the change in his demeanour.

Turning back to Gustus, Clarke asked, “Can you get me some bandages or something?”

The older man nodded and walked up the stairs, and Clarke turned back to find Lexa still in the same position. Apparently the girl was unfazed by Clarke’s desire to help, and was more focused on getting Roan to talk.

“What is Nia’s next move?” Lexa asked.

Roan kept his mouth tightly shut, as if he was worried his voice would betray him if he did add a snarky remark or two.

At his refusal to respond Lexa slice the dagger across his chest, breaking the fabric of his shirt and cutting the skin. The man grunted in pain and Clarke forced herself to watch. She was slightly horrified by the violence in Lexa, and the fact that she was basically torturing a man.

But there was a small part of her that was slightly turned on by Lexa’s display of dominance and she hated herself for it.

A man was getting stabbed and all Clarke could think about was how heated she was between her legs.

“Does she know of our plans?” Lexa asked again, this time in a neutral voice. Clarke heard Gustus enter, and walked over to grab the cloths he had found. Apparently there was a medical kit in the car, though Gustus didn’t understand why Clarke wanted to waste it on a piece of ‘Nia Scum’.

Clarke smiled gratefully but didn’t reply. When she turned back to Roan and Lexa, she saw that Roan now had another line of blood across his shirt and that it was dripping slightly into his hands. Walking over to him, Clarke reached out to place the cloth on his shoulder, but Lexa moved in front of the blonde quickly.

“ _Nou_ ,” Lexa said. “You’re not going any further.”

“You’re not my handler, Lexa. I can do what I want,” Clarke argued, peering down at Roan who was now smiling again. He didn’t deserve her help, but Clarke couldn’t help but want to.

“I will have Gustus remove you from the room, Clarke. Don’t force my hand here,” Lexa said in a low voice and narrowed eyes.

Clarke gulped, but not because she was scared of Lexa. But because it was so damn hot. What was _wrong_ with her?

“I’m leaving the cloths here for him then,” Clarke said in defeat, placing the cloths at the edge of the cell.

“How nice of you, _skai prisa_ ,” Roan remarked before Lexa glared at him for speaking to her.

“ _Skai prisa_?” Clarke asked.

“The blues of your eyes match the colour of the sky,” Roan replied. “ _Skai_ _prisa_.”

Clarke furrowed her brows at the insinuation. It was quite an odd thing to say, even if her eyes did match the sky.

“ _Em pleni_!” Lexa exclaimed. “ _Shof op, natrona!_ ”

Roan glared at Lexa before saying, “What are you going to do once Nia finds out I’ve been taken captive? Who’s going to save you from her wrath?”

Lexa bared her teeth and snarled, “ _Shof op!_ ”

“No one, because everyone in this room will be dead,” Roan growled, his resolve finally disappearing and anger appearing on his face. “Shot through the stomach just like your sister.”

All hell broke loose at Roan’s words. Clarke narrowed her eyes and stepped forward to the man as Lexa charged at him. Even Raegon had moved from Selena and was now in the cell, anger blazing behind his eyes.

Lexa gripped the dagger to Roan’s throat and Raegon yelled, “Do not speak of Ida!”

The man just started laughing manically at Raegon’s words, “What are you going to do little boy?”

Raegon looked to be making a move towards the man, but Clarke grabbed him and held him back. The boy was stronger than her, but Clarke put everything she could into keeping him at bay. She didn’t need two Trigeda’s off the handle.

“Calm down Raegon,” Clarke pleaded with the boy. Raegon just shook his head edging closer as Lexa pressed the knife into Roan’s throat, drawing blood. Luckily for Clarke, Gustus came charging back down the stairs instantly grabbing Raegon and pulling him back.

“Alexandria, _hod op_ ,” Gustus said to Lexa, looking at the dagger. “We agreed on keeping him alive.”

“That was before he brought Ida into this,” Lexa snarled. “He’s not going to tell us anything. What good is he?”

Clarke walked tentatively over to Lexa and said, “You can’t kill him, Lex.”

Lexa snapped her head back to Clarke and spat, “You don’t tell me what to do, _Klark_.”

Stepping back from the girl, Clarke’s stomach dropped at Lexa’s tone. Roan had overstepped the line that much was true. But did he deserve to die for it?

“Kill him Dria!” Raegon shouted. As soon as the words left his mouth Gustus dragged the boy up the stairs with Selena following. There were only two guards and Lexa still left in the room and Clarke knew it was up to her to stop it.

“Lex, _beja_ ,” Clarke pleaded. “He’s just the messenger! Remember who the real enemy is.”

Watching as the brunette struggled internally, Clarke moved in front of Roan looking into his eyes.

“If you just tell her what she needs to know, all of this can stop,” Clarke said. “You’ll be kept here until Nia is out of the way. You’ll be protected here. Nia -”

“You don’t get it do you, stupid girl!?” Roan spat moving his hands forward hitting Clarke slightly in the stomach. Backing away from the man and touching her stomach, Clarke heard Lexa’s snarl.

“Wait!” Clarke yelled at the girl, who looked like she was well and truly about to snap.

“Nia is my mother!” Roan exclaimed. “I won’t give up _ai nomon_.”

Silence fell in the room and Clarke moved away from Roan, staring up at Lexa. The dagger was still placed against his neck, but Clarke saw the slew of emotions running through her head.

“Lex, he’s your cousin. You can’t kill your family,” Clarke reasoned.

“Why not? Nia did. He was going to,” Lexa growled, staring at Roan.

Clarke bit her lip and looked back at Roan, “How is it even possible? How did no one know about you?”

Roan remained tight-lipped until Lexa pushed the dagger harder and snarled something in Polarian.

“My mother was sixteen and refused to have an abortion,” Roan stuttered out angrily. “Her parents sent her away under the guise of boarding school to have me and then sent _me_ away.”

Lexa removed her hold on Roan at this and moved in front of him, “Lies. _Komfona_ would never do that.”

“But he did,” Roan snarled pushing his face out to Lexa’s, foreheads almost touching. “ _Nomon_ found me four years ago. I’m loyal to _her_.”

Clarke stepped behind Lexa as the girl stared at the man, clearly trying to process all the new pieces of information. The look of anger and hurt never left Lexa’s face, but Clarke could tell her resolve to kill him was drifting away.

“Your loyalty is going to be your downfall,” Lexa growled, putting the dagger away and grabbing Clarke’s hand. “One way or another.”

*

**Lexa**

She’d lost control. She knew it. Clarke knew it. _Roan_ knew it. Lexa had put too much trust in herself not to go over the top, but after Ida was mentioned she couldn’t control herself. Despite the fact that she knew deep down that Roan wasn’t lying, and that his story was likely true, Lexa did not feel any connection to him. Lexa wanted him dead and she didn’t care if he was her cousin or not.

The only thing stopping her was the fact that Clarke was there. And the fact that it would be just another thing for Indra and Gustus to cover up.

The blonde was still clutched to her hand, leading her up the staircase and out of the warehouse. Gustus assigned ten guards to stay back to watch Roan and provide him with water and food. It was more than he deserved.

“Clarke, I’m sorry about before. I didn’t want you to see that side of me,” Lexa said before they entered the car.

The blonde looked sympathetically at her before embracing her with both arms. “Don’t be sorry. I don’t agree with some of the things you did, Lex, but I don’t hate you for it.”

Lexa’s brows quirked as she detached from the blonde. She had expected a lengthy lecture from Clarke, not understanding.

“Really?” Lexa asked as they got in the car.

Clarke smiled at her and leaned in, whispering, “Actually some of it kinda… turned me on.”

Lexa’s mouth dropped at Clarke’s words, but the blonde kissed her gently before turning away and shutting the door.

“Dria,” Raegon said from the back of the car, tapping her gently on the shoulder.

Turning back to face her brother, Lexa softened her face and said, “It’s okay. Everything’s fine.”

“ _Bosh moba_ ,” Raegon apologised with a pained expression on his face. “I didn’t mean to-”

“Rae,” Lexa started, grabbing his hand. “It’s fine.”

His expression lifted a bit after that, and he turned back to Selena, who was also visibly shaken up by the events of the day. Lexa offered a warm smile, hoping that might ease some of her discomfort.

As Gustus started the car, Clarke called out, “Could we make a stop in at my apartment? And possibly a phone shop?”

“Clarke, it is too dangerous,” Lexa warned.

“I’ll be two minutes, and it’s not like Nia’s going to know anything this soon,” Clarke reasoned. “ _Beja_?”

Gustus and Indra both looked at Lexa for approval, who just nodded her head. It would be relatively safe now with Roan locked away. And she also wanted to grab some things from her own apartment. Everything was a risk these days, and Clarke hadn’t asked for much since coming to the safe house. This was the least Lexa could do.

It didn’t take them long to get back to Clarke’s apartment, and once they got up to their level, Lexa felt slightly better. Clarke unlocked her door using the spare key under her mat, which Lexa promptly scolded her about.

“Under the mat, Clarke? Seriously?”

Clarke shrugged and the two walked into the apartment. “I didn’t exactly expect to be in danger ya know.”

The words cut through Lexa, making her stomach drop. Clarke instantly realised she’d said the wrong thing and kissed Lexa’s cheek, “I didn’t mean it like that, babe.”

Lexa stood awkwardly in the lounge room, half expecting Raven to come running around the corner with Anya in tow. She missed her cousin and the friends she’d found herself caring for. Perhaps a group hangout was in order soon at the safe house.

Clarke came out with a watch and the jewellery cases from Lexa’s gift, and Lexa raised her brows in question.

“The watch is my father’s,” Clarke said with a sad smile. “I wanted a piece of him with me.”

Lexa nodded and said, “Of course.”

“And I wanted to get your gifts because they’re so damn pretty and I like to look at them.”

Laughing and putting her arm around Clarke’s waist, Lexa led them out into her apartment. It was just as she’d left it, and when they walked into Lexa’s bedroom a slew of memories came flooding back. It was still messy and unmade, sex written all over it _still_.

Lexa felt a blush creep up on her neck and she looked over at Clarke shyly. The blonde was staring too, but a blush wasn’t on her cheeks. Instead Clarke was smiling brightly, lost in thought.

Clarke looked up at Lexa and said, “What did you need to get? Or are we going for round 2?”

“Oh my god, Clarke,” Lexa said with a smile, dropping to her knees and pulling up a floorboard. “And technically it would be round seven.”

The blonde laughed at this, and Lexa pulled out her box of family photos and trinkets. Opening it to make sure nothing had been stolen, Lexa felt Clarke’s eyes over her shoulder.

“What’s that, Lex?” Clarke asked, pointing at the picture on the top of the pile.

Blushing again, Lexa picked up the photo and showed it to the blonde. It was the photo from their first date, with Clarke staring into the lens with a bright smile across her face. Clarke stared intensely at the photo before turning back to Lexa and flashing her the same smile.

Returning her smile, Lexa thought briefly of how she’d called Clarke her _niron_ earlier. Her loved one. Her lover. Did she love Clarke? Was it too early to be feeling such a strong emotion towards another person? Did she even know what love was?

“Why didn’t you frame it? I’m slightly offended, Miss Trigeda,” Clarke teased, putting the photo back in the box.

Shutting the lid, Lexa replied, “Because I thought that if I did get discovered, one of Nia’s spies would see the photo and hunt you down. But you looked so beautiful that night, Clarke, I had to get a physical copy.”

Clarke kissed her gently before asking, “So you kept it in your family box?”

 “Clarke, you are my family now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trige: (remember sentences in italics are trige, single words are not! also so much i am sorry)  
> ready - ogud  
> trust me - wich in ai  
> nowe - never  
> sis au, nau - help, now  
> niron - loved one  
> ai kwin - my queen  
> em pleni, shof op natrona - enough, be quiet traitor  
> komfona - grandfather
> 
> I HOPE YALL LIKED!!!! im excited to show in the next few chapters of them realising their love for each other, it might be too soon, but for our girls its better too soon than too late lmao fuck u jrat :)))) 
> 
> and yes, i know roan being nia's son was kinda predictable but i mean??? he literally is nia's son in the show??? idk 
> 
> thoughts? message me on trigedaslengslut on tumblr :)


	20. twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clarke thinks of her father and the gang reunites (twice!!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jesus its been awhile. i'm soooo sorry about the wait! i made this a sweet 4.5k tho to make up for it??? xx enjoy

**Clarke**

“Clarke, what about this one?” Octavia murmured from beside her.

Examining the creamy white dress, Clarke smiled and replied, “Strapless would look amazing on you, put it with your dresses to try on.”

Octavia beamed back at Clarke before getting the sales assistant and Clarke continued to sweep through the rack. With Roan still tucked away in the cell, Gustus and Indra deemed this trip safe enough for Lexa and Clarke to attend – so long as they had guards following them on the sly. The news came as music to Clarke’s ears as she had been missing her best friends more and more each day.

The week since Roan’s capture had been relatively peaceful – Lexa and Gustus continued to work on the case whilst Indra was away in Polaris, and Clarke hung out with Raegon and Selena and skyped O and Raven. She’d called Raven and her mom the _minute_ she got her new phone. Both women had been immensely worried about Clarke’s state of mind, but after Lexa explained the situation (and the entire story to Abby) they were more worried about Lexa and Raegon, which made Clarke smile and Lexa blush.

The brunette was currently with the groom to be, Anya and Bellamy whilst Clarke and Raven were wedding dress hunting with Octavia. And although it _was_ all about Octavia and her special day, Clarke couldn’t help but subtly eye off some of the dresses herself.

However, she hadn’t been subtle enough.

“I see you, Griffin,” Raven said with a grin. “How about instead of gawking at the dresses you just try some on?”

Clarke shook her head and said, “No way. It’s Octavia that’s getting married, not me.”

“Duh, but who says we can’t all join in the fun?” the girl replied, gesturing to the sales assistant.

Biting her lip, Clarke said in small voice, “Surely one couldn’t hurt.”

“That’s my girl.”

Ten minutes later and all three of the girls were standing in front of a large full length mirror with white gowns on. Octavia wore the simple strapless dress from earlier, whilst Clarke and Raven donned similar one shouldered pearl gowns.

“O you look stunning,” Clarke mused, taking a few pictures of the brunette.

Octavia smiled and said, “I like it, but it’s not the _one_ you know.”

Nodding and helping her walk back to the change room, Clarke was stopped by Raven clicking away on her phone. Turning back suddenly, Clarke narrowed her eyes and raised her brows.

“Raven Reyes, what exactly do you think you’re doing?”

Raven smiled mischievously and said, “Texting some photos of you to Sexy Lexy. She’s going to _die_.”

“Raven! You’re going to scare her away, she’s going to think I want to get married. What if she has a fear of commitment? What if she doesn’t want to marry a commoner like me? What if-”

“Clarke! Relax, for fucks sake! Lexa wouldn’t have gotten together with you if she hadn’t wanted it to go somewhere, so just chill out,” Raven half yelled at the blonde before adding, “Also, she just replied.”

Walking over as fast as she could, Clarke snatched the phone off Raven and read the text message thread.

**Raven Reyes: Sneak peek into your future with Clarke lmao *1 attachment***

**Clarke’s Sextoy: Holy fuck**

Letting out a short laugh at Lexa’s reply, Clarke handed Raven back her phone and whipped out her own to both take a photo of Raven and text Lexa.

**Niron: Raven _forced_ me to try on a dress, can you show this to Anya as revenge? Xx *1 attachment***

Lexa’s response was instant.

**Baby: I quite enjoyed seeing you in that dress Klark ;) and consider it done xxx**

Putting down her phone and getting changed back into her normal clothes, Clarke watched as Octavia continued to try on dress after dress. Raven had long given up and had joined her on the couch near the mirror. The group had almost given up hope, but when Octavia let out a little squeak from the changing room, Clarke and Raven knew she’d found it.

Octavia strode out in an elegant halter neck pearl dress that seemed to shine in the light. The top portion of the dress, which ended just above her lower stomach, was entwined with lace patterns and shut off by a strip of diamonds. The bottom half flowed to the floor, and left a small trail behind the girl.

Clarke and Raven’s mouths dropped at the sight of their best friend, enthralled by her beauty. Lincoln _was_ indeed a lucky man, and Clarke couldn’t wait to see his facial expression on their big day.

“Well? Is it the one?” Octavia asked, obviously disheartened by Raven and Clarke’s silent reaction.

“It’s the motherfucking one, O,” Raven yelled, basically jumping up in the air with excitement. “Clarke, twenty bucks Lincoln’s gonna cry his eyes out.”

Smiling warmly at Octavia, Clarke replied, “If Lincoln _doesn’t_ cry when you walk out in that, I will destroy him.”

Octavia beamed at her friends before twirling in the dress. Clarke pulled her phone out again and called Bellamy. He’d made her promise to call him when this happened so that he could see her. Normally she’d say wait until the wedding, but Bellamy had been insistent that Octavia would be fine with it.

“Clarke! Has it happened!? We’re just eating right now, we can all come right now!” Bellamy squealed over the phone.

“Lincoln has to stay in the car, you hear me? Octavia will flip shit if he sees her,” Clarke replied.

“Yeah, yeah he can just stay with Lexa’s creepy guard people,” Bellamy said. “We’ll be there in five!”

Shutting off her phone again, Clarke was mildly horrified when Octavia went to get changed.

“Wait, O!” Clarke exclaimed, pulling her arm. “Bellamy’s on his way, he wants to see you in the dress.”

Octavia’s face scrunched and she said, “What? It was supposed to be a surprise, Clarke!”

“I know, but Bellamy made me promise. He’s just so excited for you,” Clarke reasoned.

The girl’s face lightened a bit at that and she nodded standing on the small runway type thing.

Five minutes went by fast, and before they knew it Bellamy was barrelling in with Lexa in tow. Clarke smiled at the girl and went over to greet her.

“Missed you,” Clarke said, leaning her head on Lexa’s shoulder.

Lexa laughed and said, “It’s been three hours.”

“Three hours _too_ long,” Clarke whined as they watched Bellamy stand behind Octavia with wide eyes.

“Mom would have been so proud, little sister,” Bellamy said hugging Octavia tightly. Octavia smiled over Bellamy’s shoulder, and Clarke could see tears streaking her face. Without both parents there to support her through this process, Clarke could understand why Bellamy had been so insistent on being here in their mom’s place. Her heart broke for the siblings and Clarke could tell by Raven’s face she was feeling the same thing.

Thinking about Octavia and Bellamy’s parents, made Clarke become all too aware that someday she’d have to walk down the aisle without her dad. When he died, she’d never really thought past the present pain she felt. Clarke had only thought about what he wasn’t there for in day to day life, she’d never thought about the future milestones he would miss out on. Jake would never meet Lexa, or see her paintings in the gallery. He’d never be asked to give his blessing, and he’d never meet his grandchildren.

Plastering a smile on her face, Clarke excused herself and slid out the back door. She heard Lexa follow her but Clarke didn’t stop until she was in the alley behind the shop. Slumping against the wall, she let a few tears fall before hastily wiping them off with her jacket.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Lexa cooed, bringing her in for a tight embrace and kissing her forehead.

“I’m fine,” Clarke said softly, trying to pull herself together. Today was supposed to be about Octavia and Lincoln, not Clarke and her sudden crisis. “Just needed a minute.”

“Clarke, you are clearly not fine,” Lexa said, lifting Clarke’s face up to hers and looking into her eyes. “You can tell me.”

Staring into the emerald of Lexa’s eyes, Clarke realised that if anyone knew what she was going through it was Lexa. She’d lost both of her parents in one foul swoop, and then her sister not long after.

“I just thought about my dad. And how much he’s not going to see,” Clarke admitted in a whisper. “I’ve never thought about it really, but today, seeing O and Bell -”

“Made you remember that Jake’s not going to be around?” Lexa said. “I understand.”

Clasping Lexa’s hand, Clarke said, “Have you thought about this before? About your parents and Ida?”

Lexa nodded slowly and said, “I think about it quite a lot. I think about them missing out on meeting you, and about how they’re not going to be there for my coronation or my wedding. They’re never going to meet any little Trigeda’s I bring into the world and they won’t be there to counsel me when I’m Queen.”

“You don’t feel sad about it?” Clarke asked, interrupting Lexa slightly.

“Of course, Clarke. But I like to think they’re watching over me,” Lexa continued with a small smile. “Sometimes I can feel Ida’s scowl when I drink too much, and Nomon’s smile when I dress up nicely. And I know that once I’m on that throne, my father will be with me just as much as yours is with you now.”

Letting a few more tears escape, Clarke embraced Lexa again. The girl’s arms went around her waist, and Clarke felt an array of emotions standing there in that alleyway. Lexa’s kind words had comforted Clarke’s churning stomach. And whilst she still felt the stinging in her heart at the absence of her father, Clarke realised that she still had her mother. She still had one parent there with her, whilst most of her friends had neither. She also had Lexa, and just being in the girl’s presence made her feel better.

“Thank you,” Clarke whispered into Lexa’s ear. “For being here.”

Lexa released her and kissed her sweetly before replying, “Always.”

*

**Lexa**

“I’ll see you soon,” Lexa said as she hugged Anya goodbye. “At Thanksgiving.”

Anya nodded and replied, “Sure thing, cousin. Shame that Ma and Pa are in Australia, they would’ve loved to see you.”

Smiling slightly at her cousin, Lexa craned her head to see Clarke hugging Octavia and Raven goodbye. She felt horrible that Clarke had to come back with her, but Lexa convinced herself that it was for Clarke’s safety. However, with the new plans for Thanksgiving the following week, Lexa hoped Clarke wouldn’t be too sad.

“Lex, did you want to keep your suit?” Lincoln asked, walking over to her and Anya. “Or I can just leave it with Ahn?”

The suit had been Anya’s idea, and Lexa didn’t particularly mind at all. She liked dresses of course, but she wasn’t opposed to wearing a suit on Lincoln’s big day, considering there was no way in hell her Aunt Maera would let her wear one on her own wedding day.

“You take it, Linc. I want to surprise Clarke,” Lexa concluded with a wink, before walking over to Clarke.

Hopefully Clarke liked suits.

*

The week leading to Thanksgiving went by all too quickly, with Lexa and Gustus knee deep in the case and Clarke trying to keep up with her art for the gallery. Lexa hadn’t even thought about the actual dinner, or the fact that six people would be joining them in less than thirty-six hours, until Clarke woke up in a sweat.

The blonde was sitting upright, giving Lexa a full view of her bare back, and had a crazed look on her face. Lexa sat up herself and pressed a kiss into Clarke’s shoulder before asking, “Bad dream?”

Clarke turned to her and half yelled, “Thanksgiving is tomorrow night, Lexa.”

“And?”

“And we haven’t done anything! We haven’t gone shopping! We haven’t decided what to cook! We haven’t -” Clarke rambled before Lexa interrupted.

“Clarke, we have cooks here – they will make the dinner,” Lexa cooed.

But Clarke shook her head violently, “No no no. _We_ are making dinner, Lexa.”

“But why,” Lexa whined, laying back on the bed and pulling the covers over her head.

Clarke plopped herself next to Lexa and said, “Because it’s our first Thanksgiving, I want _us_ to be the ones putting in the effort.”

Letting out a long groan, Lexa pulled back the sheet to see Clarke’s huge blue eyes staring back at her desperately. _Damn puppy dog eyes._

“Beja,” Clarke pleaded, placing a small kiss onto Lexa’s cheek and then one on her collarbone. The blonde travelled down until her lips pressed against the swell of Lexa’s breasts. “Beja.”

Feeling her resolve shatter, Lexa said, “Fine! We will cook the stupid dinner.”

Clarke smiled against Lexa’s breast and said, “Thanks Lek-sa.”

Moaning at the sound of her name in Polarian, Lexa arched her back searching for the feeling of Clarke’s breasts against her stomach. However, Clarke quickly withdrew and jumped off the bed.

“There’s no time for sex, Princess! We have a dinner to prepare,” Clarke said with an evil grin.

Groaning and shoving her face into the pillow, Lexa yelled out a string of profanities in Polarian.

Why did her girlfriend have to be such a tease?

*

Prepping for the dinner had been surprisingly easy - the chefs were somewhat delighted at the prospect of being allowed to go home for Thanksgiving and gladly went out and brought the girls all the ingredients they required. Along with that, Clarke’s mother _insisted_ on bringing the pies so that crossed two things off the list.

However, now that they actually had to prepare the turkeys and casseroles, Clarke and Lexa were starting to realise perhaps they hadn’t entirely thought this idea through.

“This is – fucking disgusting,” Lexa growled. “Turkeys are disgusting. Thanksgiving is disgusting.”

Clarke laughed from her stovetop, where she was halfway through making the first green bean casserole. “I thought you loved being hands deep in moist things.”

“Clarke!” Lexa shouted, her mouth opening and pointing to where Raegon and Selena sat. The twosome had graciously offer to help by making the cranberry sauce and stuffing.

“Compared to what we heard last night, Dria, Clarke’s joke was relatively mild,” Raegon said smoothly.

Lexa’s cheek immediately heated and she squeaked, “What?!”

“You’re not exactly quiet, Lex,” Clarke mused pouring her ingredients into a baking dish.

“ _Shof op, Klark!_ ” Lexa said, glaring at the blonde. “ _Bosh moba, Raegon_.”

Raegon looked up at Lexa and nodded before saying, “Just uh, keep it down? It’s kinda gross because you’re my sister and everything.”

Pulling her hand out of the turkey, and starting the water to wash it, Lexa replied, “Understood. And Clarke will refrain from making X-rated jokes around you.”

“I will, will I?” Clarke challenged, starting the second casserole. With eleven people in attendance, and one of those people being Raven, they were going to need a hell of a lot of food. Lexa just hope two of everything was enough.

Lexa smiled coyly at the blonde before leaving the turkey and walking over to her. “You will, or I will smear my turkey gut hands all over your pretty face.”

“As if.”

Smirking and lifting her hand, Clarke’s face fell and the girl dropped her ingredients to run away from her. The blonde hadn’t gotten far when Lexa caught up to her and wrapped her arms around Clarke.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I promise I won’t!” Clarke pleaded, laughing as Lexa flipped her around to face her. Lifting one hand to smear turkey juices across Clarke’s face, Lexa heard the girl squeal in disgust. “Lex! I didn’t even say anything.”

Pressing a kiss to Clarke’s lips Lexa replied, “But now you know I’ll do it.”

“I hate you,” Clarke said, walking back into the kitchen and reaching for a paper towel.

“No you don’t.”

“No I don’t,” the blonde replied with a slight frown.

Lexa raised her eyebrows and parted her lips slightly before responding, “Well I don’t hate you either.”

Clarke smiled slightly and turned back to her dish and said in a soft, knowing voice, “I know.”

*

By the time Clarke and Lexa stopped fooling around and actually got the dinner ready, there was only half an hour until their guests arrived. And Lexa was finding it impossible to get ready.

“What about this one, Clarke?” she asked, wearing a soft blue silk button down.

“Mmm,” Clarke replied, with a raise of her eyebrows. “Better try on the maroon one again. Just to be sure.”

As she began pulling off the shirt, Lexa turned back to the blonde and asked with a smile, “This isn’t just a ploy to get me to take off my shirt again is it?”

Clarke opened her mouth in fake surprise, “Alexandria Trigeda, I would never!”

Keeping on the blue shirt and walking over to the blonde, Lexa placed her hands on her hips and said, “You are going to make us late for our own event, Niron.”

The blonde shrugged her shoulders and grabbed Lexa’s arms, making her fall on top of her. The move inadvertedly made Lexa’s thigh fall between Clarke’s legs, and the blonde called out softly in pleasure.

“Kla-rk,” Lexa moaned. “We don’t have time for this. We have a dinner to host. Guests to entertain. Food to eat.”

Clarke pouted slightly and said, “We still have like twenty-five minutes. More than enough time.”

Smirking and releasing herself from Clarke’s grip, Lexa replied cheekily, “There’s no time for that, _Prisa_! We have a dinner to eat!”

Clarke groaned and yelled, “I hate you!” to Lexa as she was walking away.

“No you don’t,” Lexa called back, pulling on some black slacks and heels.

“No I don’t,” Clarke replied softly. Lexa smiled at the words. It wasn’t an ‘I love you’ – not yet – but it was _something_. Something more than ‘I care about you’ and ‘I want you to be safe’.

Twenty minutes later, the girls were finally ready and the guests arrived in two black cars. Indra and Gustus had insisted that the guards go and collect them and that they all stay the night and go back in the morning. Lexa agreed to every term and condition, knowing that the fact that she was even able to convince them to allow this night was a huge deal.

“Happy Thanksgiving, cousin!” Anya exclaimed, giving Lexa a bear hug.

Lexa smiled and replied, “Make yourself at home, cousin.”

The rest of the group filed in and Clarke and Lexa greeted each of them enthusiastically – both extremely happy to have the gang together again. Even if it was only for a night, it was still more time than they got with them the other day.

“Thank you for inviting me,” Abby said shyly, bringing Clarke into a hug and looking at Lexa with a small smile.

Lexa returned the smile and brought Abby in for a hug also, “You’re family, Abby.”

Once Abby stepped inside the safe house, Lexa shut the doors and locked them behind her. Reaching out for Clarke’s hand, the two girls walked into the dining room and made the rounds with their friends. Lexa had arranged for three waitstaff to be there on the night to serve them the food, as she knew that Clarke would appreciate the extra time with her family.

“Anya, Lincoln,” Lexa said, after grabbing Raegon from the living room and bringing him out with Selena. “I would like you to meet my brother, Raegon and his girlfriend, Selena.”

Anya and Lincoln both greeted the boy enthusiastically, but Raegon bowed his head and said seriously, “Thank you for being there for Dria. Thank you for being her family.”

Lexa’s mouth opened slightly but Anya swooped in before she was able to reply.

“Lexa _is_ family and… you can be too, Raegon,” Anya said with a smile. “With how much Lexa talked about you, I feel like I basically know you anyways.”

Raegon smiled at her words and Lincoln also replied with a soft, “Any family of Lexa’s is family of mine.”

Lexa’s heart warmed at seeing both sides of her family accept each other. Raegon was her blood, and though Lincoln and Anya weren’t, they were still apart of her. After introducing Raegon and Selena to the rest of the family, Lexa fell back and allowed everyone to mingle before dinner. However not thirty seconds later, Lexa was interrupted from her thoughts by a soft tap on her shoulder.

“Miss Trigeda, the food is to come out now,” one of the staff whispered to Lexa, gesturing at the staff behind her. They were carrying all the food and waiting to set it down on the table.

Nodding at the girl and smiling at the other staff, Lexa walked to the head of the table and cleared her throat loudly. She got the attention of her guests almost instantly, and half-yelled, “Dinner is served.”

As the seats around her filled, with Anya and Lincoln sitting to her left and right, Lexa noticed Clarke’s confused look when she realised she would not be sitting with her. Lexa hoped Clarke would understand that she did this not to separate them, but to allow them to have time with their friends and not just each other.

Dinner went by quickly, with everyone complimenting Clarke, Lexa and Abby on the food. However, Raegon and Selena were quick to tell everyone how much they _helped_ , which made Lexa glare and Clarke giggle.

But by the end of the dinner, Lexa felt the need to make a toast. Tapping on her glass gently, getting the attention of the table quickly, Lexa stood up and raised her wine glass.

“I just wanted to make a short toast before we all get far too drunk and pass out,” Lexa started, earning a collection of chuckles from around the table.

“Does that mean me as well, Dria?!” Raegon hollered from next to Raven, who high-fived him in response.

“ _Shof op,_ Rae,” Lexa said with a soft glare. “This was supposed to be serious.”

Clarke smiled at her from the opposite end of the table, raising her glass with Lexa and said, “Go on, babe.”

As the rest of the table raised the glasses also (aside from Raegon and Selena who raised their soda glasses), Lexa returned the smile and continued, “So – uh - basically, I am thankful to have all of you in my life. Most of you I have only known for a short period of time, but I like to think that you feel the same.”

Lexa watched as the table nodded and smiled in agreement, and she tried to gather the nerve to continue. She knew she was being sappy, and stupid, and gross, but it was Thanksgiving and Lexa had a hell of a lot to be thankful for.

“I’m thankful for Anya, Lincoln and Ma & Pa Woods for giving me a home, letting me use their name and inviting me into their family with no questions asked. I am thankful for Gustus and Indra for taking care of me, even when I was a careless idiot. I am thankful for Raven’s sexual innuendos, Bellamy’s wit and Octavia’s strength,” Lexa rambled on, not wanting to miss anyone.

“I am thankful for my brother for reminding me why this is all worth it, and for Selena for keeping him safe when I could not. And I am thankful for Abby’s continued support of her daughter and acceptance of me in her life.”

Pausing for a moment, Lexa brought her glass up higher and continued, “And I am thankful for you, Clarke, for making this house – and this entire situation – bearable. In all my years I never thought I would meet someone that understood me more than I understood myself. But now that I have, I have no intentions of ever letting you go.”

Everyone’s eyes were on her, most likely expecting a proposal of the sort, but Lexa knew it was _far_ too soon for anything like that. Clarke’s cheeks had turned to a beet red colour, obviously embarrassed by the public display of affection. But her eyes were also wide and questioning, like everyone else’s.

“Congratulations, _niron_ – you’re stuck with me,” Lexa finished with a smile, sipping on her wine whilst their family cheered around them.

*

**Clarke**

After Lexa’s grand speech that still gave Clarke butterflies when she thought about it, the table fell back into animated chatter. Clarke was pleased to see her mother talking with Raegon and Gustus, and Raven laughing at one of Selena’s jokes. She was glad that though most of the people at the table had lost a lot of family, they could find a new one with each other. And Lexa was partly responsible for that, by bringing the gang back together – despite the security risks.

“Ahem!” Octavia yelled at Clarke from across the table. “If everyone is done with their food, would anyone be interested in a nice game of beer bong?”

Shaking her head, Clarke yelled back, “It’s Thanksgiving, Octavia!”

“And I’m thankful for beer pong!” Octavia argued, with Bellamy and Raven both nodding along in agreement.

With Clarke reluctantly nodding her approval, the gang made their way onto the patio to help Octavia and Lincoln set up beer pong. Raegon and, surprisingly, Selena had both pressed Lexa for permission to play, but Lexa outright refuse. Even though Clarke, Octavia and Lexa herself were under the legal age, Lexa still persisted that they were far too young to play. Eventually, Gustus sided with Lexa and sent the sulky couple to bed, before retiring himself.

“Clarke, a word?” her mom said pulling on her arm, coming out from the dining room. “I’m going to bed, I just want to talk privately for a moment.”

Nodding at her mom, and quickly sending Lexa a small smile, Clarke hurried after Abby. She’d stopped just short of the stair case and instantly brought Clarke in for a hug.

“Mom?” Clarke said questioningly.

Abby detached from her and said, “I know this year’s been …eventful to say the least. And I know this is the furthest thing from your mind …”

“Go on,” Clarke said, worrying creeping up on her.

“I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you. Of your artwork. Of your success. Of your relationship. And that our deal is officially off,” Abby said with a smile. “I still believe you’d make a fine doctor, and perhaps later in life you may find your way back to it…”

Clarke breathed out heavily at her words, knowing that the chances of that were highly unlikely.

“But, you are an _artist_ and a damn good one at that. So whatever you need, it’s yours,” Abby continued, squeezing Clarke’s hands. “Your father would be so proud of you.”

Letting a few tears slip out, Clarke embraced her mom tightly and whispered, “Thank you, Mom.”

After a few moments of hugging and tears, Clarke finally released her mom to let her sleep. And with releasing her mom, she felt a whole weight lift off her shoulders. Clarke hadn’t realised how much she needed her mom to say that to her.

Walking slowly back out onto the patio to be with her friends, she felt Lexa’s hand grab her arm and the girl look at her, eyes etched with concern.

“Everything okay?” Lexa asked softly.

Smiling and planting a small kiss onto Lexa’s lips, Clarke replied, “Everything is perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AGAIN WTF ITS BEEN ALMOST TWO WEEKS!!! i have only one excuse - wentworth. its an aussie prison drama (on ANOTHER level from oitnb) and recently my fave got a (FEMALE!!!) love interest and its CONSUMED my life!!!! pls migrate to wentworth bc theyre so cute (even tho its so angsty atm)
> 
> ANYWAYS!!! hope you liked the chapter, lexa's speech was sappy and gross but idc i loved it :)))) 
> 
> also angst is next so enjoy this fluffy piece of shit while you can xoxo


	21. twenty-one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its clarke's birthday and lexa can cry if she wants to

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I STILL LOVE THIS STORY AND CLEXA I WAS JUST STUCK IN A WENTWORTH DAZE FOR A FEW WEEKS PLEASE FORGIVE ME

**Clarke**

“Niron,” a voice called out, waking Clarke up softly. “Clarke.”

Opening her eyes, Clarke was confronted with the deep green eyes she’d fallen in love with the past few months. Reaching out and dragging her finger gently across Lexa’s cheek, Clarke smiled and said, “Good morning.”

Lexa returned the smile and whispered, “Happy Birthday.”

Sitting up suddenly, Clarke remembered that it was her own birthday. How could she have forgotten?

Lexa let out a light laugh before saying, “Did you forget your birthday?”

Biting her lip Clarke nodded and Lexa laughed louder. Punching her in the arm, Clarke said, “Shut up. I’ve had a lot on my mind.”

Lexa dropped her head at this and replied, “I know.”

Clarke picked up Lexa’s chin and leaned in to place a small kiss on her lips, but Lexa had other plans. The brunette wrapped her arms around Clarke’s back and pulled her in impossibly close, deepening the kiss. Clarke responded immediately, though she was surprised by Lexa’s sudden intensity, the blonde certainly wasn’t going to pass up morning sex. Especially on her birthday.

“ _Leksa,_ ” Clarke moaned out as Lexa’s lips retreated to her neck, trailing down to her bare chest –

**KNOCK**

“ _Jok of!_ ” Lexa yelled, continuing her attack on Clarke’s neck.

“You asked us to bring Clarke breakfast in bed, Dria,” Raegon called out from behind the door. “Put some clothes on and stop whining!”

Lexa let out a long groan that made Clarke laugh before throwing on a t-shirt and shorts and opening the door. Clarke pulled the sheet over her body before smiling at Raegon, who gave her a wink and passed the tray to Lexa.

“Thank you, bro,” Lexa said before shutting the door and bringing the tray towards Clarke.

“Lex, you didn’t have to do this,” Clarke said, observing the tray. Bacon, eggs, hash browns – everything a girl could want.

Lexa scoffed and replied cheekily, “Just wait till tonight.”

*

“Come on! Are you seriously not letting us throw you a party? You’re twenty-goddamn-two!” Raven exclaimed, almost knocking over her fries in the process.

Clarke rolled her eyes and replied, “Raven, Christmas is in like two weeks and New Years is right after. A nice lunch with you and dinner with Lexa is all I need.”

Both of her best friends looked appalled at her words, but kept their mouths shut. As much as she actually _would have_ liked to throw a big party and invite all of her friends, Clarke knew that it just wasn’t possible. Gustus and Indra had to pull huge strings to be able to make Thanksgiving happen, and with her mother coming up from Christmas and the squad _insisting_ on a New Years Eve get together, Clarke didn’t want to push her luck.

The last week and a half had been relatively quiet, with no news of Nia and only good things from Indra in Polaris. Though the case was ready, Nia still controlled most of the legal system in Polaris and had many spies spread throughout. One wrong move and she could squash Lexa’s case before Indra got to present it.

“You’re such a party pooper Clarke, literally. Rae, I don’t even think we should give her our present,” Octavia said with a smirk.

Clarke’s interest perked at the words. Whilst she always said not to bother with presents, she sure did love it when they still got her something.

“I said no present’s guys,” Clarke said with a fake frown.

Raven rolled her eyes at this and said, “Your eyes say something different, Clarke.”

Smirking at her friends, the blonde watched as Octavia pulled out a small Pandora box and handed it to her.

“I know Lexa already gave you diamonds and shit, and it’s not much compared to that but we -”

“Octavia, stop. You know I don’t care about the value of -”

Clarke was interrupted by an impatient Raven, who threw her hands up and said, “Just open the god damn present, Griffin.”

Letting out a giggle, Clarke opened the box and peered inside, letting out a small ‘oh’ in shock. It was a classic silver Pandora bracelet, but had three charms attached. One was a small silver paintbrush, and the other two were a light purple and blue flower charm.

“Guys, I don’t know what to say,” Clarke whispered out, holding up the bracelet and staring at it in awe. It was such a beautiful gesture and Clarke was too awkward to say anything useful, as usual. “Thank you.”

Raven and Octavia shot each other a glance and Octavia said with a grin, “Well, we know how much you love sentimental shit.”

“And if you couldn’t already tell, the colour charms represent us so you won’t forget about us when you leave for Polaris,” Raven continued.

Pursing her lips, Clarke couldn’t bring herself to tell Raven that she wasn’t entirely sure what she was doing after Lexa goes to Polaris. So much had happened since they last discussed their future, and whilst Clarke was certain she couldn’t see one without the brunette, she was uncertain that moving to Polaris permanently was what Lexa really wanted for her.

 “I love you guys so much,” Clarke said finally, shutting out all thoughts of Polaris and clasping the bracelet onto her wrist.

Raven laughed before munching on three chips at once and mumbling, “You better, that thing cost us an arm and a leg.”

The three fell into easy conversation after that, with Clarke listening intently to Raven’s plans to give Anya the sexiest Christmas she’s ever had and Octavia and Lincoln’s wedding plans. With a little over a month to go until the big day, Clarke had been kept mostly up to date via Lexa. But to hear her usually tom-boy esque best friend gush over flowers and dresses made Clarke smile.

“What are you getting Lexa for Christmas?” Octavia asked as Clarke took a long sip from her Cosmo. Clarke flipped her head around to the guards who were pretending to eat at the table across from them. She knew that Lexa would have bribed them to tell her any details Clarke may share with her friends, considering the brunette had been begging her for a week to give it up.

Leaning in close, Clarke whispered loudly enough for the guards to hear, “A huge, purple… strapon.”

Octavia spat out her Coke and Raven hollered, “Hell yes Clarke. They’re so much fun.”

Clarke laughed and sneaked a peek at the guards, who were currently trying to pretend they didn’t hear her. Clarke imagined the look on Lexa’s face when they told her, and smirked to herself. That would show Lexa for trying to spoil the surprise.

“It’s almost time,” one guard said, barely looking up from his seat.

Feeling her face drop slightly, Clarke couldn’t help but be a bit annoyed that she couldn’t have more time with her friends. Though she was able to see them more than Indra would’ve liked, it still hurt that Raven was no longer a shout away and that Octavia wasn’t ten minutes down the road.

“I know it sucks, Clarke,” Octavia said, clutching onto Clarke’s hand in a display of affection that was oddly out of character for the small brunette. “But it’s not going to be for much longer.”

Nodding, Clarke knew she was right. Lexa had told her days earlier that even with the delays in the case and Nia’s hold over the legal system, Indra would be sending for Lexa in two months.

Two months.

It was both too much and too little time.

“And Lexa’s worth it,” Raven piped in, her cheeky grin gone and a genuine smile etched across her face.

Returning her friends smiles, Clarke replied, “She’s always worth it.”

*

“Can we make a pit stop?” Clarke asked the guard in the front seat.

The man turned to her and asked, “Where to?”

Biting her lip, Clarke replied cautiously, “The warehouse where Roan’s being kept.”

“Absolutely not.”

Visiting Roan had swept across Clarke’s mind occasionally, and with this being the only time Lexa hadn’t accompanied her out, Clarke knew it was her one shot to reach him. Clarke couldn’t exactly pinpoint why she felt the overwhelming need to see the man who threatened her family. Or why she cared that he was being looked after. But Clarke did and she couldn’t shake her curiosity or concern for the man.

“Please? The Prisa won’t care as long as I stay outside the cage and you guys are with me,” Clarke pleaded.

Shaking his head and frowning at Clarke, the man turned to the guard that was driving and said something in Polarian. There was a few minutes of back and forth between the guards before he turned back and nodded at Clarke.

“Five minutes and you’re to stay at the bottom of the stairs,” the man said before turning back to the front of the car.

“Mochof,” Clarke said triumphantly with her best Polarian accent. Clarke felt slightly bad for lying to the guards because she knew Lexa was _not_ going to be happy when she found out that Clarke went to see Roan. But Clarke knew Roan would keep popping back into her head if she didn’t, and she only hoped Lexa would understand.

The detour to the warehouse only took ten extra minutes, and once Clarke stepped inside the musky place, she was reminded of how much it repelled her. Moving forward to the basement where Roan was being held, Clarke nodded at the guards that stood next to the door and walked inside.

As she descended the stairs, Clarke could see Roan sitting with his back to her in the corner of the makeshift cell. The cot had the blankets strewn across it, and there were few books stacked beside it.

“I was wondering when you’d come, _skai prisa_ ,” Roan said, slowly turning around and standing up.

Clarke moved closer, daring to go past the start of the staircase, “Who gave you the books?”

Flipping his head to look at the books and then returning to stare at Clarke, Roan replied, “Gustus had them delivered.”

“That was nice of him,” Clarke remarked.

“Does Alexandria know you’re here?” Roan asked almost cutting Clarke off. His face looked worn and Roan no longer had the air of smugness around him. The prisoner life did not suit him, but Clarke did not feel sorry for him. Whilst she didn’t like that he was being kept as a prisoner of war, Roan had brought it upon himself. And if Lexa and Raegon had their way, he’d be dead not rotting away in a cell.

“Better to beg forgiveness then ask permission,” Clarke replied stepping even closer before the guard in the room coughed and nodded firmly. Returning the nod and keeping her feet planted where she stood.

“Wise words,” Roan said, walking so that his face pressed up against the bars. “What do you want, Clarke Griffin?”

Biting her lip and looking at the man in the eyes, Clarke said truthfully, “I just came to see how you were being treated. Thought what you did was despicable and Lexa’s going to kill me when she finds out I’ve come, I _needed_ to know that you’re not being starved or… worse.”

Roan smiled a slightly devilish smile and Clarke almost regretted her words. “Being in this cell with little to no entertainment has really given me the chance to truly think about things, Clarke.”

Raising her eyebrows, Clarke said, “I didn’t come here to be patronised, Roan. I came here to make sure-”

“That I’m being treated right etcetera, etcetera,” Roan said with a slight roll of his eyes. “But I think we have a lot more to talk about.”

In that moment Clarke realised this was a bad idea. Roan just saw this as an opportunity to manipulate Clarke, a way to ‘entertain’ himself. The man was worn – but not malnourished. He was bored – but not injured. His cell was messy – but still had the essentials. Clarke got what she came for and now she needed to leave.

“There’s _nothing_ for us to talk about, Roan,” Clarke said as she went to turn away. But what Roan said next stopped her in her tracks.

“You do realise that you’re going to be the Prisa’s downfall, don’t you?” Roan said with a slightly menacing voice.

Turning her head back around to face him, Clarke spat, “Excuse me?”

Roan smiled and said, “You’re a weakness Alexandria cannot afford. You’re her kryptonite. And you will be the one that makes her lose everything.”

Moving closer and ignoring the guards, Clarke narrowed her eyes at Roan and growled, “Shof op.”

“You know it’s the truth, Clarke,” Roan said in a low tone. “You know she’d give up anything and anyone for you. At a time where Alexandria cannot afford to be weak, she is. Because of you.”

Roan’s words threw Clarke back mentally and she let a low gasp escape her mouth. She knew them being together was dangerous, and she knew Lexa would do anything for her. But the way Roan was casting the situation made Clarke’s stomach twist and her head hurt.

“You know I’m right,” Roan said, breaking the silence. “And when my mother comes for Alexandria, she’ll make killing you the first thing on her to do list. It’s clear that _just_ threatening you and your family isn’t enough, so _nomon_ will -”

“Stop!” Clarke snarled causing Roan to purse his lips and smirk. Clarke’s entire being was filled with guilt and an indescribable pain. “Just stop, Roan.”

Everything Roan was saying was true and Clarke knew it. She’d always known it. She’d known it since the day Clarke found out about Lexa’s heritage. She’d known it since Roan called her and tried to use her as bait. Clarke should have left that day. She should have never gotten involved with Lexa.

“I never pegged you as a selfish person, _skai prisa_ ,” Roan continued, clearly basking in Clarke’s uncertainty and realisations. “But it’s clear you don’t care about Alexandria’s safety, or her brothers. Every moment you’re with them you put them in danger. You give her enemies something to aim at. Someone to hurt. Someone to use against her.”

Her stomach dropped further than it ever had before and Clarke felt a stray tear escape her eyes. Swiping it away quickly, Clarke knew she’d let Roan succeed in breaking her. Her thoughts were scattered all over the place and her emotions were strewn across her mind.

Turning on her heels and running up the stairs, Clarke sprinted out of the warehouse needing fresh air like she never had before. Everything was running rampant in her brain and she couldn’t form any other coherent thoughts than the ones Roan had planted in her head. The tears were freely following now, and Clarke didn’t bother to wipe at them.

Roan was right.

 _Roan was right_ and Clarke knew what she needed to do.

*

**Lexa**

“Rae! Come here!” Lexa shouted at her brother as she stood in front of the mirror. She’d thrown on a black pencil skirt and a v neck red dress shirt for Clarke’s birthday dinner. It wasn’t supposed to be too fancy, but Lexa had tried her best to make it just as special as it would’ve been in an actual restaurant.

Gustus and Selena had decorated the balcony with rose petals and candles and Lexa had arranged for the chef to make Clarke’s favourite dish that wasn’t Pizza or McDonald’s – lasagne. And Raegon had mostly been no help at all. Lexa couldn’t help but laugh because her father had been exactly the same. Alina and Ida would spend days planning and decorating for an event, whilst Orin sat in the corner and tried to act like he was putting valuable input into the conversation.

Turning her attention back to the gifts laid out on the bed for Clarke, Lexa hoped she hadn’t overdone it. At first Lexa had wanted to go psycho and get Clarke twenty-two presents. But after a call with Indra and a warning from Anya, Lexa decided to cut the number down to just three. The first one was obvious, a large painting and drawing set with everything an artist could ever dream of inside. The second was something that she’d co-ordinated with Octavia and Raven for -  a small tiara Pandora charm to go with the bracelet they’d given her today. But the third was a little more close to home, and something that Lexa was incredibly nervous about giving.

“What?” Raegon asked as he entered the room. “Dria, you look beautiful.”

Lexa smiled and said, “Thank you, bro.”

Raegon walked into the room further before grinning and asking, “Can I see it?”

Nodding firmly and trying to shake off her nerves, Lexa walked over to the dresser and reached for the small black box she’d hidden days earlier. Opening it, she gave Raegon a peek of the ring inside.

“It’s beautiful, Dria,” Raegon said, pulling Lexa into a warm embrace. “Imagine the look on Nomon’s face if she saw you now.”

Pulling away, Lexa replied with a smile, “I can imagine it – she’d be standing right next to you with her huge smile and ecstatic hand gestures.”

Raegon laughed slightly before moving towards the door. “Clarke will be home soon. It’s almost 6.”

Lexa nodded and kept the box tightly in her hand. Clarke had called Gustus earlier informing him that she would be visiting her mother before dinner tonight, and whilst Lexa was a bit surprised the blonde hadn’t directly called her, she wasn’t going to deny Clarke a visit to her mother - even if she was slightly worried about Clarke’s safety. The blonde hadn’t texted her all day, and Lexa hoped that it was because she was having too much fun with her friends and not because she’d done something wrong.

Hearing the front door swing open, Lexa walked out slowly to watch Clarke come in. Concealing the hand with the ringbox behind her back, Lexa watched as Clarke stormed inside, looking disgruntled and slightly wild.

“Clarke?” Lexa said watching the blonde ascend the stairs at lightning speed. “What’s wrong, _niron_?”

Clarke rushed by her without saying a word and walked straight into their room. A knot in Lexa’s stomach formed as she followed Clarke into the room. What was wrong with her?

“Clarke!” Lexa half-yelled, her patience beginning to run thin.

At this, Clarke finally turned to Lexa and said, “I can’t do this anymore.”

Lexa’s felt the floor fall out from under her at Clarke’s words. Her mouth hung open in a large ‘o’ shape and she clung tightly onto the box she could feel between her fingers.

“What?” was all Lexa managed to choke out. Clarke’s eyes began to water furiously and Lexa’s own vision was getting clouded by tears, but Lexa blinked them away – determined not to let them fall.

“This is all… too much for me,” Clarke croaked out before turning around to the bed and pausing. Lexa watched as the girl examined the art kit and Pandora bag before pushing it all to one side and grabbing a suitcase from under the bed.

“Klark, tell me what happened. I can fix it, whatever it is,” Lexa pleaded, walking over to the girl who was now scurrying to smush all of her clothes into the suitcase. She placed a hand on Clarke’s shoulder, but the blonde immediately shoved her away.

“You can’t fix this, Lexa,” Clarke spat. “I just can’t handle this anymore. I can’t handle living away from everyone I know and I can’t handle being with _you_.”

Jumping away from the girl, Lexa clutched at her stomach as the tears streamed down her face. Death from a thousand cuts wouldn’t have hurt Lexa more than the words Clarke was spitting. The scene before her felt like a nightmare, one Lexa desperately wished she could wake up from.

“You’re lying,” was the only thing Lexa could say. Clarke had to be lying. _Her_ Clarke, _her_ niron, would never say these things to her. “Have you been threatened again? Like last time you tried to leave?”

Clarke zipped up the bag and turned back around to face Lexa. Whilst it was obvious Clarke was crying, Lexa could detect no emotion in her face. She’d never seen Clarke this cold.

“No, I just spent the day with people that weren’t Raegon or Selena or _you_ ,” Clarke said bitterly. “And I realised that this is just – just isn’t worth it.”

“I don’t believe you,” Lexa said back firmly. She didn’t understand how Clarke could go from loving and tender this morning to uncaring and stoic tonight. Something _must_ have happened. That was the only explanation. “I don’t believe a word. This isn’t you, Clarke.”

Clarke scoffed and said, “You barely know me, Lexa. It’s been what, three months?”

“Stop this!” Lexa shouted, again trying to reach out to Clarke, but being pushed away. “I know this is all an act, I know something must have happened -”

“Nothing happened, I just realised I don’t want to be with you,” Clarke said, hammering the final nail on the coffin. “You just aren’t worth all the hassle.”

Again, the sting of Clarke’s words brought upon a whole new stream of tears for Lexa, and she struggled to keep thinking optimistically. Backing herself up against the wall, Lexa brought the hand holding the black box in front of her and played with it in her hands.

“What’s that?” Clarke asked, voice trembling.

 “A promise ring,” Lexa whispered softly as she trained her eyes on Clarke’s. The blonde took an audible breath at Lexa’s words and stared at the box intensely. Lexa wasn’t looking to propose – not yet. Not for a while. But Lexa wanted to promise Clarke that someday there would be. So long as Clarke would have her.

But it seemed that would no longer be the case.

Clarke – despite everything she had said and done – no longer wanted her.

The blonde dragged her eyes away from the box and pulled the suitcase down off the bed. Lexa stepped in front of the door, and closed her eyes, inhaling a deep breath. She wasn’t ready to let Clarke go. Wasn’t ready to let the girl she loved go.

But if it was Clarke truly wanted, Lexa wasn’t about to stop her.

“Let a guard go with you,” Lexa said, opening her eyes. “Just until Nia is in custody. I want you to be safe.”

“I’ll be fine,” Clarke replied, looking at Lexa firmly, tears still dripping from her eyes. “I’m staying with my mom.”

Lexa nodded slowly and moved out of the doorway, allowing Clarke to pass. As soon as the blonde left the room, Lexa’s body sunk to the ground and she let silent sobs overtake her. Every word Clarke had say replayed over and over inside her mind, and Lexa felt herself drowning in a despair she hadn’t felt since her family died.

It wasn’t long until Gustus came rushing up to the room, finding Lexa curled into a ball beside the door. He placed his arms around her and pulled her close, asking, “What’s happened?” a thousand times before Lexa finally had the strength to answer.

“Clarke’s gone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is anyone still reading lmao? i'm so sorry about the wait again, i just wanted to get the wentworth finale done with bc it gave me so much anxiety... now that its over and once again another gay is dead (hah who would've guessed THAT would happen.) i am throwing myself into this story. 
> 
> i'm also sorry that after the long wait this is the chapter that was planned! i know its angsty as fuck (and on the down low i actually love the angst), i hope yall trust me and are smart enough to know that this will be dealt with in 1-3 chapters max i mean come on i am not a monSTER.
> 
> i hope to have another update as soon as possible to make up for my time away xoxo


	22. twenty-two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clexa is sad but raegon is the real MVP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank fuck most of yall are still reading haha stay tuned bc everything just goes nuts from here on out :) #homestretch

**Lexa**

7 days. 168 hours. 10,008 minutes. 604,800 seconds.

That’s how long Clarke had been gone for, and Lexa felt _every_ single moment of it. After losing her family, Lexa should be used to pain. She should be used to sadness and grief and everything in between. But nothing in this world could’ve prepared Lexa for what Clarke leaving made her feel.

Every morning she’d wake up to a cold bed and an empty room and every night she’d drink herself to sleep. Her life had fallen into a strict routine – wake up, eat breakfast, work on case, eat lunch, work on case, eat dinner, drink, sleep. If it were up to her she’d drink from the moment she woke up to the second she needed to sleep. But Lexa couldn’t abandon the case, she couldn’t let Clarke’s disappearance from her life disrupt the plans for Polaris. So Lexa kept her head up during the day and drank during the night. It was a terrible vice, and one Lexa was sure Clarke wouldn’t approve of. But Clarke wasn’t here so none of it mattered.

“Lex, you there?” Lincoln called out from the computer. “If you’re not up to this, I totally understand.”

Lexa shook her head fiercely, “No, I said I’d help. I’m good.”

Lincoln and Octavia are in the home stretch of their wedding plans and though Lexa was not exactly feeling festive, she was a part of the Wedding Squad and she wasn’t about to let her cousin down.

“She asked about you yesterday,” Octavia said softly, clutching onto Lincoln’s arm. “She wanted to know how you are.”

Her heart stung instantly at the mention of Clarke, even though Octavia had purposely never said the blonde’s name. Lexa had tried her best to not talk about Clarke, not to Raegon, not to Anya, not to anyone. And they’d all accepted Lexa’s silence on the subject, not one of them bringing her up.

Until now.

“I don’t want to talk about her,” Lexa wheezed out, trying to hold back her tears.

Octavia nodded solemnly and Lincoln shot Lexa an apologetic look. Waving him off, Lexa immersed herself in wedding details. At least when she was talking with Lincoln and Octavia or working with Gustus, her mind was off Clarke and all the horrible things she’d said.

An hour later, and two more things ticked off the list, Lexa said goodbye to the pair and sunk into the chair she was sitting on. Resting her head on her hands, Lexa let out a deep breath and sighed.

“All good there, kiddo?” a gruff voice asked from behind.

Quickly straightening her posture, Lexa turned her head to see Gustus approaching. He wore a soft smile, and looked like he wanted to talk about a certain blonde.

“I’m well, Gustus,” Lexa said with a warning look in her eyes. “I don’t need to talk.”

Gustus shook his head and pulled out a chair next to her, “I’ve respected your refusal to talk about Clarke for a week now, Alexandria. It’s time to talk. What happened?”

_I just can’t handle this anymore._

“Clarke left. That’s all,” Lexa replied sternly, looking pointedly away from the man.

“Did she give you a reason?” Gustus questioned further.

_You just aren’t worth all the hassle._

Lexa bit her lip and struggled to hold back the tears that had been on the verge of flowing since Octavia brought her up earlier. Fidgeting with her fingers, Lexa breathed out and in, trying to steady herself.

Looking back at the man and making her face as stoic as she could, Lexa said coolly, “Clarke simply decided that I was no longer worth it. She was sick of being away from her family and friends, and she couldn’t handle my situation anymore. That’s all.”

“That’s all?” Gustus reiterated with sad eyes. “Surely you don’t believe that.”

Pursing her lips together, Lexa pushed back any optimistic thoughts that tried to enter her mind. If Clarke had been lying she would’ve admitted it after seeing the black box. The black box that Lexa had hidden deep in her drawers.

“Clarke was very determined to leave, Gustus,” Lexa said sternly. “I don’t want to speak of her anymore.”

Gustus shook his head at this and grabbed Lexa’s hand, “Alexandria, a person doesn’t wake up in love with someone and then come back six hours later and not be. It just makes no sense. Something must have happened.”

The words made her heart flutter, but Lexa quickly squashed them. “Clarke wasn’t in love with me.”

“Of course she was,” Gustus scoffed. “And I know you’re in love with her too.”

Biting her lip so hard that it bled, Lexa breathed in again and said, “It doesn’t matter anymore. Clarke left and she’s not coming back.”

The man dropped his head at Lexa’s stubbornness, and released her hand. Gustus looked disappointed in Lexa’s total lack of faith in Clarke. But Gustus hadn’t seen the look in Clarke’s eyes. Gustus hadn’t heard what Clarke spat at her.

“Maybe if you just go and speak to -”

“I won’t waste my breath on a lost cause, Gustus,” Lexa said getting up from the table. “Which is why I’m ending this conversation.”

*

Lexa woke the next morning on her floor with an empty bottle of tequila next to her. Her head was pounding and her room looked like a bombsite. There was shattered glass in some areas, and ripped up paper in others. Her hands were bleeding slightly and her clothes stunk of alcohol. It was apparent that her conversation with Gustus did more harm than good.

She couldn’t remember a lot of the night before. Only that talking about Clarke made her feel worse than thinking about her, and that the alcohol only accelerated her heartbreak. She remembered throwing the glass at the wall. And she remembered ripping up the photograph of her and Clarke at Halloween.

Silently Lexa moved around the room, clearing the glass and ripped up paper. She knew Gustus, Raegon and Selena had likely heard her last night, but the last thing Lexa needed was them barging into her room and giving her shit because of the state of it. Once her room was relatively neat and tidy, Lexa went into the bathroom and showered the stink of alcohol off her body.

Lexa didn’t know how long she stayed in the shower, curled into a ball on the floor and letting the water drown out her silent tears. But by the time she got out and dressed, Raegon was knocking on her door.

“Dria, are you awake?” he asked from outside the door.

Opening the door to let him in, Lexa forced a smile and asked politely, “What’s up?”

Raegon stepped inside and said, “So I was eavesdropping on your conversation last night, you know before you got so wasted we thought you were committing a murder -”

“ _Rae_ ,” Lexa scolded, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes. “That was a private conversation and one I’d really rather not repeating.”

The blonde boy in front of her rolled his eyes and said, “I know, but I kept thinking about what Gustus said-”

“Gustus said a lot of things, Rae,” Lexa replied, keeping her arms crossed tightly. “You are going to need to be more specific.”

“Would you let me finish?” Raegon said in annoyance. “He was right – Clarke walked out the door that morning in love with you and it just makes no sense that she came back and left you.”

Keeping her chin high, Lexa said sternly, “Or maybe she was just never in love with me? You and Gustus are grasping at straws – Clarke left and _I don’t want to talk about it_.”

Raegon threw his hands up and muttered out in Polarian, “ _You’re just as bad as Ida_ ,” before continuing, “So I did some digging into what happened in those six hours that Clarke was gone.”

This piked Lexa’s interest but not enough to get her hopes up. Slowly she sat on her bed and uncrossed her arms.

“And?” she questioned.

“It turns out that she made a very interesting pit stop on her way home that day,” Raegon said with furrowed brows before adding, “A pit stop that made her decide to go to her mom’s for three hours.”

Lexa opened her mouth a bit and racked her brain for what this ‘pit stop’ could’ve possibly been.

“She coerced the guards into letting her visit Roan at the warehouse,” Raegon finished, sitting down next to Lexa. “He must’ve said something. Threatened her in some way. That’s the only plausible answer to this whole mess.”

Scrunching her brows together, Lexa said, “But Rae -”

“No buts. You _know_ Clarke and you _know_ what Roan’s like. Stop being such a stubborn princess and open your eyes!” Raegon half-exclaimed, shocking Lexa slightly.

Of course she knew that what Raegon was suggesting had a very high chance of being true. It was logical and would explain everything. But Lexa couldn’t get the cold look in Clarke’s face out of her head. Surely _that_ kind of coldness couldn’t be faked?

Apparently she’d been silent too long, because Raegon stood up abruptly and said, “Well fine. If you don’t take my word for it, let’s go straight to the source.”

Lexa shook her head and said, “I’m not going to Clarke.”

“I didn’t mean Clarke,” Raegon replied smugly. “We’re going to pay Roan a visit.”

*

An hour later Lexa and Raegon were standing outside the warehouse, and Lexa had a knot in her stomach that didn’t appear to be going away. They’d left Gustus and Selena at the house, with Raegon reluctantly agreeing that she would be safe in Gustus’ care.

“ _Ogud?_ ” Raegon asked, clutching her hand and smiling warmly.

Nodding her head, Lexa replied, “Ready.”

They made their way through the warehouse swiftly, not wanting to waste any time. The guards stationed throughout looked alert as ever, and for that Lexa was grateful. She was pleased that the guards in charge of keeping Roan tucked away in the warehouse showed no signs of weakness.

Once they made their way to the bottom of the basement, Lexa took a deep breath in and stepped towards the cage where Roan was sleeping soundly.

“ _Wake him up_ ,” Lexa ordered in Polarian to the guards.

One of the guards began banging on the bars loudly until Roan groaned and rolled over to face Lexa. As soon as he saw her Roan spread an evil smirk across his face.

“ _Prisa_ , to what do I owe this pleasure?” Roan asked in a chirpy voice, standing up and walking closer to Lexa and Raegon.

Narrowing her eyes, Lexa tried her best to place her most regal mask across her face, even though in reality she felt like throwing her guts up.

“Clarke visited you a week ago,” Lexa began, earning another smirk from Roan. “I want to know what was said.”

Roan let out a small laugh and replied, “That’ll cost you, _Prisa_.”

Stepping closer to the bars, Lexa scowled, “I really don’t think you’re in a position to argue.”

“Am I not?” Roan challenged. “Because I’m the one with the information, and you asking me to give it to you.”

“Clarke was the only thing stopping me from killing you. Now that she’s gone, don’t think I won’t step in there and slit your throat without batting an eye,” Lexa snarled in reply. “Tell me or I _will_ end your life.”

Roan stepped back at this threat, clearly intimidated but trying so very hard not to show it. “Tsk, tsk Alexandria. What would your mother think of such words?”

This time it was Raegon’s turn to lose his temper and the boy growled, “Don’t fucking talk about our mother.”

“Rae, I got this,” Lexa said, raising a hand to her brother before turning back to her guards and commanding, “Give me the key to the cell.”

The guard with the key complied immediately, dropping the key into Lexa’s hand and allowing her to open the cell and step inside. Lexa acted instantly, whipping the small dagger out of her jacket and pressing it into Roan’s stomach. It wasn’t hard enough to seriously injure, but it was hard enough to make Roan grunt in pain and drop to his knees.

“I’m not one to make idle threats, Roan,” Lexa whispered fiercely. “Now tell me or your chest is next.”

As she removed the dagger, Roan bent forward and Lexa crouched next to him. Twirling the dagger in her hand in a threatening manner, Lexa kept her face impassive as she watched Roan wrestle with his inner self.

She was just raising the dagger again when Roan grunted out, “I only told her what she already knew.”

Lexa’s eyes widened and she demanded, “Tell me.”

The man lifted his hand to smirk slightly as the blood seeped through his shirt, “She was a weakness you can’t afford. She was going to make it even easier for Nomon to block your return. If you think about it, _Prisa_ , I actually helped you. I weeded out the weakness in your plans.”

Lexa’s hand came down on Roan’s face harder than she meant and the deafening crack echoed throughout the basement. Relief surged through Lexa and for the first time in a week she felt a weight lift of her shoulders. Roan had manipulated Clarke. Made her believe Lexa would be better off without her.

“Your days are numbered Roan,” Lexa spat before adding, “When Nia falls you will fall with her.”

*

**Clarke**

The week since she’d left Lexa had drained Clarke emotionally. Every day a constant cycle of the things she’d said to Lexa and the look on her love’s face when she did ran through her mind. A coldness that Clarke hadn’t realised was inside of her escaped that night, and the blonde didn’t think she’d ever forgive herself.

Her mom had been more than welcoming during Clarke’s stay, and an ever comforting presence to the blonde. It was her that Clarke came running to straight after Roan played his hand, and it was her that Clarke turned to when she left the safe house. Though Abby was trying her hardest to be supportive, Clarke knew deep down that her mother didn’t agree with her decision to leave Lexa.

But it had to be done. And the only way Lexa would ever let her leave was if Clarke convinced her that she, without a shadow of a doubt, no longer wanted to be with her. It was like another person had taken over her body. An evil, cold person who didn’t give a shit about the tears streaming from Lexa’s eyes. Or the pained expression in the brunette’s face as she stared at the black box in her hands.

The box had thrown Clarke off, almost making the blonde take back every word she’d said and kiss Lexa senseless. Clarke wanted more than anything to be promised to Lexa. She wanted that future with her. To be married to her. To have children with her. To grow old with her. But if Clarke stayed, Lexa wouldn’t have a future. She’d end up dead because of her and Clarke knew it.

So instead she walked out of the door and broke two hearts at once.

“Clarke!” her mom called from the living room. “Come here!”

Dragging herself out of her bed and walking to Abby, Clarke responded, “What’s up, Mom?”

Marcus and Abby were cuddled up on the lounge, and whilst the sight itched at her, Clarke tried her best to keep it off her face. She was happy that her mom was happy. At least one of them deserved to be.

“Did you want to go out for dinner tonight? Just us three?” she asked with beaming eyes. Abby had been working overtime to cheer Clarke up, but it was futile and they both knew it.

Clarke shook her head sadly and replied, “Not tonight. You guys go though, I’ll be fine.”

Slight worry rose in her mom’s eyes, and Clarke suspected it was because of what happened with Roan. Clarke eyed her mom, silently telling her it was _really_ fine.

“We can bring you back something if you’d like?” Marcus suggested. “Maybe a few… mozzarella sticks?”

Her eyebrows perked up at this and Clarke nodded eagerly. Sad or not sad, Clarke could always go for mozzarella sticks.

*

The day came and went in a blur. One minute, Clarke was sketching Lexa’s face and the next Marcus and her mom were waving goodbye and telling her not to throw any ‘wild parties’. Throwing down her sketchbook and stalking out into the kitchen, Clarke was pulling out the ingredients to make mac ‘n’ cheese when she heard leaves rustle outside the kitchen window.

Raising her eyebrows and tip-toeing over to the window, Clarke turned on the outside lights and peered out. Pursing her lips as she scanned the apparently empty area, Clarke shut the window and locked it. She continued making her dinner until her anxiety got the better of her and Clarke made her way around to every door in the house and locked each one.

But when she came into the kitchen, Clarke was both shocked and relieved to see a familiar brunette standing next to the doorway.

“Lexa?” she breathed out.

And sure enough there she was. Standing tall, with arms crossed and an impassive look spread across her face. Even thought she looked regal and strong, Lexa's face still looked like Clarke's did – fucking terrible. She had bags under her eyes, hollowed cheeks, pale skin – the whole works.

Crossing her own arms and trying her best to make her face scrunch in disgust, Clarke snarled, “What are you doing here? Get out.”

But Lexa seemed unfazed by Clarke’s tone and words, instead she simply raised her brows and said, “I know.”

Taking a step back from Lexa, Clarke swallowed her feelings and replied stoically, “I don’t _know_ what you’re talking about. But I _know_ that you need to get out of my mom’s house.”

“You can drop the act, Clarke,” Lexa replied, her eyes not moving from Clarke’s.

Lexa took a cautious step towards Clarke, dropping her hands down to swing at her sides. The brunette’s eyes had relief written all over them, and Clarke knew it was all over.

“Roan told me everything,” Lexa continued, before raising her voice slightly and adding fiercely, “And it’s all bullshit, Clarke.”

Tightening her mouth, Clarke took another step back from Lexa and half-heartedly scowled, “I don’t know -”

“Seriously, Clarke! Fucking stop!” Lexa interrupted, finally losing her cool before whispering, “Just stop, baby.”

One word. All it took was that one word and Clarke lost it. Tears were streaming down her face and she could feel her body dropping to the floor.

But it never got there because strong arms caught her, and held her close. Clarke could feel Lexa’s warm tears dropping onto her head, and it only made her own come faster and harder. After several moments, Clarke came to her sense and pushed the girl off her. She walked into the dining room and heard Lexa follow not a moment later.

“You need to go,” Clarke persisted, not looking back the girl and her voice cracking with each syllable. “We can’t do this. I’m not good for you. I put you in danger. Roan was right.”

“Roan was _wrong_ , Clarke,” Lexa said as her voice got closer and closer. “You’re not my weakness, you’re my _strength_. And I can’t lose you.”

Each word hurt Clarke’s heart and she turned around suddenly, only to be caught face to face with Lexa. Her eyes were burning holes into hers and Clarke could feel her resolved breaking.

Stepping away from Lexa’s face, Clarke said angrily, “You can’t just say stuff like that Lexa! You have a country to fight for and a brother to protect! Both of which you can’t do with me by your side.”

Lexa’s eyes narrowed at this and Clarke felt the woman’s anger snap as she spat, “That’s complete and utter crap, Clarke! Roan is manipulating you and you’re letting him because running away was the easier choice.”

“You think leaving you was _easy_ for me?!” Clarke yelled back, widening her eyes. “It was the worst thing I’ve ever done.”

Lexa ran a hand through her messy brown curls and scowled, “You still walked away, Clarke. You told me I wasn’t worth it and you walked away!”

“I walked away because _I love you_!” Clarke exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air and staring into the deep emerald of Lexa’s eyes. “I love you, Lexa, but I won’t be your downfall.”

Clarke watched as Lexa processed her declaration of love with a wide mouth and bulging eyes, but soon after the girl pulled herself together and replied firmly, “You will not ever be my downfall, Clarke.”

Lexa sucked in an audible breath and then added, “And it’s because _I love you_ that I won’t let you walk away. Not unless you can look in the eyes and tell me you don’t want to be with me.”

As she stared into the green orbs, Clarke opened her mouth and tried to say the words she _knew_ she should say. The words that had come so easily to her the week before. But she _couldn’t._ Clarke couldn’t say them. Not again. Not when it had almost killed the both of them last time she had. A few more tears stung at her eyes and Clarke hastily wiped them away. Her head was telling her to fight Lexa, to shove her out of the house and never look back. But every single other nerve in her body was pushing her towards the woman in front of her.

Luckily Lexa crossed the small space between them before Clarke could decide and planted her lips on Clarke’s softly. Returning the kiss and moulding her mouth to Lexa’s, Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa and held her tight. The kiss was short, but filled with every ounce of newfound love the pair could muster.

When Clarke eventually detached, Lexa leant her forehead against hers and whispered, “ _Ai hod yu in, Klark_.”

“I love you, too,” Clarke choked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AS IF ID LET MY BABIES STAY ANGRY AT EACH OTHER FOR LONG!!! angst is far from over, but at least the smol beans r safe n happy n in love wit each otherrrrr (even tho clarke has got ALOT of makin up to do lmfao)
> 
> stay tuned for a quick update and clexa make up sex xoxoxo
> 
> ps: to the 'guest' who keeps posting rude af comments on my chapters - i normally just delete them bc i dont need ya ratchet ass negativity, but last chapter you insulted clarke griffin (which is illEGAL btw) so its time for me to just ask you to stop! if you dont like the story - that is A OK, to each their own and whatnot - but can you just stop posting mean shit on it???? like???? did your mother not teach you any manners??? or common decency???? 
> 
> pps: I LOVE THE REST OF YALL WHO ARE JUST THE BOMB.COM XXX


	23. twenty-three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> make ups are here and christmas is near

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> forewarning: a bit of a filler chapter, but next chapter is CHRISTMAS YAY!!! 
> 
> also i lost track of time and apparently its been over a week???!?/1/1/ i am a terrible person for doing that to yall please forgive me

**Lexa**

“I love you too,” Clarke choked out, and for the first time in eight days Lexa could breathe again.

Clarke lifted her head up not long after and connected their lips again. There was nothing sweet or gentle about this kiss, though. It was hungry and passionate, and everything Lexa needed in that moment. It was like both girls were desperately trying to make up for lost time and neither could be bothered with taking things slow.

The blonde ripped off Lexa’s jacket and threw it on the floor and Lexa brought her hands to tangle in Clarke’s blonde locks. Clarke didn’t waste any time and immediately began tugging on the hem of Lexa’s shirt. Complying with the woman, Lexa detached her lips from Clarke’s and pulled off her own shirt. Her hands went to Clarke’s shirt, but the blonde waved her off, and brought their lips back together. As their lips moulded together hungrily, Lexa felt Clarke pushing her backwards and soon after she was up against Abby’s dining table.

Before she even had time to question Clarke’s sudden surge of dominance, the blonde’s thigh was in between Lexa’s and her mouth was trailing slowly down her jawline to her neck. Moving her hands onto Clarke’s hips, Lexa tried to bring the blonde closer but instead Clarke roughly pushed Lexa up so that she was sitting on the table.

“ _Klark_ ,” Lexa moaned out as Clarke continued her assault on Lexa’s neck and collarbones. She felt Clarke’s hands undoing the button and zipper on Lexa’s jeans, and Lexa moved her body upwards to get the garment off her.

Clarke’s bare thigh pushed against her centre through her underwear and Lexa only wished she could rip the pyjama shorts off Clarke. But the blonde was in control tonight, and Lexa wasn’t about to get in her way.

Unclasping her own bra, Lexa threw it away as Clarke trailed her lips further and further down her body. One of Clarke’s hands moved up to clasp at Lexa’s breasts and gently knead into them and Lexa released a feral moan. She hadn’t realised how much she’d missed this aspect of Clarke. How much she’d missed being touched and teased by the blonde.

Suddenly Clarke dropped to her knees and the blonde pulled Lexa’s last piece of clothing off her. Clarke positioned her head in between Lexa’s thighs and Lexa’s hips involuntarily bucked. Thankfully, Clarke decided tonight was not the night to draw out the sex, and the blonde drew her tongue from Lexa’s entrance to her clit.

Throwing her head back and closing her eyes, Lexa moaned Clarke’s name as the blonde moved her tongue around her clit. Clenching her thighs softly to keep Clarke in place, Lexa felt the girl slowly add more and more pressure with her tongue. She wouldn’t last long tonight and Clarke knew it too. The blonde moved her tongue up and down her centre, teasing gently before going back to her clit and sucking hard.

“ _Beja_ ,” Lexa groaned out, opening her eyes and making contact with Clarke’s. In response to Lexa, Clarke brought her arms around Lexa’s hips and moved Lexa’s centre even closer, moving her tongue faster and harder.

Lexa came not two seconds later, but before she even got the time to recover Clarke had removed her head and was standing up straight. She felt Clarke guide two fingers into her and immediately moaned embarrassingly loudly. Clarke wasted no time in getting Lexa’s second orgasm, thrusting her fingers fast and hard whilst also moving her other hand to knot in Lexa’s hair just as Lexa had her hand in Clarke’s. As Clarke curled her fingers inwards, Lexa opened her mouth in a silent scream as she unravelled for a second time.

Clarke removed her fingers softly from Lexa, and she brought their lips together. Returning the kiss lazily, Lexa went to remove some of Clarke’s clothing. However, the blonde shoved her hand away and looked at her sternly in the eyes.

“That was for you,” Clarke whispered. Lexa went to argue but Clarke hushed her once more. “Did you want to stay here tonight, or do we have to go back to the safe house now?”

The way Clarke easily added herself back into the equation made Lexa’s heart beat fast, and calmed her mind. She’d sent Raegon and her guards back to the safe house as soon as they dropped her off, much to Raegon’s disdain. Lexa needed to talk to Clarke on her own, needed to pry the truth from the blonde without Raegon’s watchful eyes.

Gently moving Clarke away from her, Lexa picked her shirt up off the floor and shrugged it on before turning back to the blonde and clasping their hands together.

“I can stay for a night,” Lexa said gently. “Whatever you want, _niron_.”

Clarke embraced her then, throwing her hands around Lexa’s neck and saying, “I’ve missed the way you say that word.”

*

Lexa woke sometime later, after hours of her and Clarke making up for lost time. The blonde had relented and let Lexa touch her eventually, and they got caught up in a bliss of ‘make up sex’. They’d yet to truly to talk to each other, but for now Lexa allowed herself to be caught up in the touch and feel of her girlfriend.

Sliding out of Clarke’s double bed and pulling on a large t-shirt and her underwear, Lexa placed a kiss on Clarke’s forehead before exiting the room. Venturing down to Clarke’s mom’s kitchen, she was just grabbing a cup when Lexa heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

“Lexa?” Abby called out, rubbing her eyes. “I … I didn’t know you were here.”

Placing down the cup, Lexa replied politely, “Sorry Ms. Griffin. I should have called –”

“Don’t be silly, I’m thrilled you’re here,” Abby said, cutting Lexa off and walking closer to her. “And clearly you and my daughter have made up.”

Lexa’s cheeks flushed and she pulled on Clarke’s shirt, trying to make it longer. “Sorry. I didn’t hear you come in, otherwise I would’ve uh made myself more presentable.”

“Marcus and I only got in an hour ago. We assumed Clarke was sleeping and didn’t want to wake her. No fault of your own, dear,” Abby explained before smiling coyly and continuing, “I’m just happy that you two are sorting things out.”

An uneasy feeling settled over Lexa, and it must’ve shown because Abby questioned not a few seconds later, “You are sorting things out?”

Lexa bit her lip, she shouldn’t be speaking to Clarke’s mother of all people about her feelings. But no one else truly saw Clarke during their time apart. No one else could give her proper clarity into Clarke’s side, aside from the blonde herself.

“I love your daughter, Abby,” Lexa began, as the older woman moved closer to her with a knowing smile etched across her face. “And I _know_ she didn’t mean the things she said. But that doesn’t change the fact that they were still said. And now I don’t know how to get them to stop echoing in my mind, over and over.”

Abby was silent for a long time, but she showed no signs of anger or confusion in her face. It seemed as if she _understood_ Lexa and what she meant. Lexa had no intentions of ever leaving Clarke, or letting the blonde walk away again. But she couldn’t shake how she’d been feeling the last week after one night of sex and one conversation of truths.

“Clarke was a complete and utter wreck the day she came to me,” Abby started, placing a hand on Lexa’s shoulder. “So if she was a wreck, I can’t even begin to imagine what you felt like.”

Lexa nodded and looked down as Abby continued, “Clarke’s decision to walk away – as wrong as it was – was done out of love. She honestly and truly believed that she was making the right choice. That she was keeping you safe.”

“I just …,” Lexa began, swallowing hard to avoid a water show. “I just don’t know how to get past it. I don’t ever want to be without her again, but every time I close my eyes I see her walking out of that door.”

“I know honey. It’s going to take time – time and a whole lot of communication,” Abby whispered, squeezing Lexa’s shoulder. “So maybe when you guys get back to the house tomorrow, instead of jumping each other’s bones, you sit down and _talk_.”

Lexa stifled a giggle at the older woman’s words. Her uneasiness had dwindled slightly and an odd sense of comfort had taken over. She’d forgotten what it was like to get motherly advice.

“ _Mochof_ , Abby,” Lexa said softly.

The older woman surprised her by bringing her in for a warm embrace. And Lexa felt herself sink into it.

“You’re welcome, Lexa,” Abby replied gently.

*

**Clarke**

The car trip back to the safe house had been quiet, with Clarke resting her head on Lexa’s shoulder and clasping their hands together. They needed to talk, but it didn’t feel right to do it over breakfast with her mom or during this long car ride with a driver not two metres away. Clarke knew Lexa well enough to know that something was troubling her, and that even though she wasn’t being _distant_ Clarke knew her girlfriend’s mind was far away. She could feel the old Lexa returning. The Lexa with a thousand walls and no room for emotion.

As they pulled up at the house, Clarke was surprised to see Gustus, Raegon and Selena already waiting out the front for them to arrive. But she was more surprised to see that they had smiles on their faces and not looks of disdain or anger.

Lexa smiled at her slightly before opening the door and guiding Clarke out before whispering, “Don’t be nervous, _niron_.”

Clarke grinned in response, but couldn’t stop the shakiness of her hand as she took Lexa’s once more. They walked slowly towards the threesome ahead, and Clarke felt her anxiety peak more and more the closer they got.

Eventually the girls were directly in front of them, and Clarke cleared her throat before saying, “Hey guys.”

Gustus let out a gutsy laugh before reaching out and catching Clarke in a bear hug, “I’ve missed ya blondie.”

Wrapping her hands around the man, Clarke replied, “Missed you too, old man.”

He let her go shortly after and almost immediately Selena reached for her as well. The smaller girl laced her arms around Clarke’s waist, gripping tightly before letting go.

“Welcome back, Clarke. I’ve missed our Dance Moms marathons,” Selena said cheerily.

Raising her eyebrows, Clarke replied cheekily, “I hope you haven’t skipped ahead without me.”

“’Course not. I always knew you’d come back,” Selena said with a wink as the group began walking inside at Lexa’s nudging.

As they entered the house, another surprise was waiting in form of a blonde and brunette couple.

“Anya?” Lexa questioned, moving in front of Clarke protectively. Clarke was taken back by the move until she saw the way Anya was currently looking at her. “Raven? What are you guys doing here? How did Indra approve this?”

Anya’s narrowed eyes never left Clarke’s and Clarke watched as Raven clutched at her girlfriend’s hand in an attempt to calm her down.

“Well, after getting a call from you at 2am the other night, Anya wouldn’t rest until we came. Literally – she would not leave me alone,” Raven explained. “So after fillin’ up the car, we made the trek out here with only our memories for directions.”

Clarke suppressed a giggle at Raven’s explanation and Lexa focused on Anya, questioning further, “I don’t even remember calling you, Anya. Did you not think of the safety risks?”

Anya moved her stone cold gaze to Lexa and spat, “Of course you don’t - you were blind drunk. And quite frankly, no I didn’t. Instead I was thinking about my cousin who had called me in hysterics. Going on and on about _her_.”

Her heart burned at Anya’s words and she clutched closer to Lexa. Clarke tried to comfort her through the move, but Lexa gently shook her off.

“Anya, I appreciate the concern -”

“Why is _she_ here anyways?” Anya snarled, moving her eyes back to Clarke. “Thought she wanted nothing to do with you.”

Lexa began to speak for Clarke, but the blonde cut in front of her, replying, “It’s a long story, Anya. Sit down and we can explain it?”

Raven shot her a comforting look and Clarke smiled back before Anya said, “So there’s a reason why you told my cousin that she wasn’t worth being with is there?”

She could feel Lexa shudder and Clarke raised her voice slightly, “I didn’t mean any of it. Just let me explain.”

*

It took twenty minutes for Anya to stop interrupting Clarke with snappy comments and actually let the blonde explain herself. She’d gotten the woman alone, shoving Lexa and Raven out of the room. Clarke didn’t want Lexa to have to listen to the story again, and quite frankly, Clarke wanted Anya to be angry. She wanted to feel some sort of punishment for what she did, because lord knows Lexa would never show her anger.

“You gave me your word you would never intentionally hurt Lexa,” Anya said sternly. “And I know Roan put those ideas in your head, but Clarke you still sought out to intentionally hurt her.”

The words made her stomach churn, and all Clarke could do was nod and say, “I know, Anya. I did intentionally hurt her. But you have to believe me when I say that it was what I thought could keep Lexa safe. Those things – what I said – it was the only way I knew she wouldn’t chase me.”

“But she still did,” Anya replied harshly before looking at Clarke directly in the eyes and continuing, “Don’t fuck up again. She doesn’t deserve to be put through that again.”

Clarke nodded again and reached for Anya’s hands. Clasping them in hers, Clarke asked softly, “Ahn, what did she say? That night on the phone?”

Anya took a deep breath in before replying in a broken voice, “She was crying hysterically, asking why she wasn’t good enough. Why she wasn’t worth it. Why you didn’t love her the way she loved you. It was a mess, Clarke. I never want her to feel like that again. Not when she’s already lost so much.”

The two stared at each other for a long while in silent understanding, and Clarke didn’t realise she was crying until she felt Anya’s soft fingers swipe at her cheeks. Pulling away from the girl at that point, Clarke moved across the room to grab some tissues.

After wiping her eyes, Clarke said, “I love her. I’ll never hurt her again.”

“Better not, Griffin,” was all Anya said before the two of them walked out of the room to face their respective girlfriends.

Raven was the first to notice their re-joining, and immediately jumped up from the lounge that she and Lexa were sitting on. Lexa’s body was stiff and she seemed to be looking out into nothing. Softly splaying her fingers out on the girl’s shoulder, Clarke felt the girl place her own hand on hers and squeeze gently.

“So are we all friends again? Or do I need to bust out the beers and pizza?” Raven joked, kissing Anya on the cheek.

“I think you two should get going,” Lexa said abruptly, standing up and facing the couple. “It’s not that I don’t want you here – but if Indra finds out, we will all be blasted.”

Clarke looked curiously at Lexa before adding, “Plus Christmas is in a week, you’ll be back here before you know it.”

It took Ranya another hour to be convinced to leave, with Clarke promising to skype Raven _and_ Octavia at the first chance she got. The blonde got the impression that Anya was still somewhat angry at her, but Clarke was in no position to fight that.

Once they were relatively alone, Lexa excused herself and Clarke and brought the blonde up the stairs to the room she knew all too well. Instantly Clarke fell back on the bed and stretched her body out. But as she rested her head on the pillow, Clarke felt something hard underneath it. Reaching under the pillow and grabbing the item, Clarke was slightly surprised to see that it was an empty whisky bottle.

“I don’t recommend self-medication,” Lexa said as she shut and locked the door. “Leaves you with some nasty hangovers.”

It was a joke and Clarke knew she should be laughing, but the thought of Lexa drinking herself silly made her physically ill. Placing the bottle on the nightstand, Clarke kicked off her shoes and patted the bed, motioning for Lexa to join her.

“Talk to me,” Clarke said, placing a hand on Lexa’s thigh as she sat. “Tell me what you’re feeling. Don’t suffer on your own. Let me in.”

Lexa looked up at the ceiling and said, “I want to move past this, but I can’t pretend like that night didn’t happen.”

Gliding her hand up to Lexa’s cheek and turning her face to look at her, Clarke replied, “I don’t want you to. I know I fucked up. What I said was fucked up -”

“It was fucked up but I feel like I can’t even be mad that it was fucked up,” Lexa said gently pushing Clarke off her. “You did what you did because you thought it was the right thing, but it still fucking hurt Clarke.”

Clarke nodded and moved back slightly, trying to give Lexa all the space she needed. Getting past this mess meant getting everything out in the open, and if it meant sitting her and listening to Lexa scream and shout at her – Clarke would do it. She needed to hear this and Lexa needed to tell her.

“I just don’t know how you did it,” Lexa began again as tears began to bunch in her eyes. “It was so difficult for me to shut you out all those months ago – so I just don’t know how you looked me in the eye and broke me. How you looked at that box and still left. I just – I need to know what you were thinking.”

Tears began streaming down Lexa’s face, and Clarke’s began as she replied, “I kept thinking about what might happen – what could still happen – if I didn’t do it. I thought about you and Raegon dead. About Polaris dying under Nia’s insanity.”

Lexa nodded but kept her eyes off Clarke and out the window, and Clarke continued, “When I saw the box … I almost lost it. I almost back tracked on everything I said. But Roan’s words just kept flowing through my mind and I wouldn’t allow myself to be selfish. To put my own wants above your needs.”

Lexa turned her head back at her words, and said, “I understand, Clarke. I truly do. And that’s why I feel like such an idiot for even holding onto this. But I just… I just can’t for the life of me get those words out of my head. My dreams are plagued by you leaving -”

Reaching out tentatively to run a hand down Lexa’s arm, Clarke interrupted slightly, “Then you’ll wake up and I’ll be right next to you. Even though I’m still terrified that I’m going to be your undoing, I’m not going to leave you again. You have to believe me.”

Lexa was silent for several moments before visibly calming down. She let out a heavy breath and slumped forward slightly. Clarke could see the inner workings of her girlfriend’s brain ticking away, but didn’t dare to interrupt.

But when Lexa got up suddenly, Clarke stared out after her confused. The brunette walked over to her drawers and opened one, fishing through it before pulling out a box. Clarke’s breath hitched at the sight of it, and her heart began beating incredibly fast.

“It might be a while before I can breathe easy, Clarke. But I still want you to have this,” Lexa said, walking back over to Clarke and opening the box, revealing a small ring with various diamonds and sapphires entwined. “If you want it.”

Clarke’s eyes and mouth opened in shock at the beauty of the ring. But after a second of looking at it in silence, Clarke she stood up abruptly and pulled Lexa’s face to hers, moulding their lips together in a short kiss.

“Of course I do, Lex,” she replied, tracing her finger against Lexa’s jaw.

Lexa smiled slightly and nodded before lifting the ring out of the box and slipping it onto Clarke’s middle-left finger.

“One day,” the brunette said softly, looking deep into Clarke’s eyes. “When all of this is over. When I have my country back – it will be the real thing.”

“I look forward to that day,” was Clarke’s whispered reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i hope you liked this filler chapter, and the re-building of their relo. obvs its going to take a while to be 100% back to normal, but theyre getting there!!! 
> 
> decided to split this chapter into two, because adding christmas eve + christmas in this one wouldve just been crazy!!! but the next one is almost done so stay tuned xoxoxo


	24. twenty-four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> christmas is here and so are cute presents and developments from polaris

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IVE BEEN GONE AGES I KNOW BUT UNI IS REALLY SHIT AND I WANTED TO CURL UP N CRY MOST OF THE TIME BUT ITS OVER NOW WHOOOOOP. 
> 
> im finishing the story guys, never worry about that xxxx please enjoy!

**Clarke**

It started a few days after Clarke got back to the safe house. They would go to bed together and Clarke would wake up to the sound of Lexa’s sobs next to her. The sound of Lexa calling her name and curling up into a ball. Usually Clarke would wrap her arms around the girl and hold her tight until the brunette beside her calmed down, but sometimes she would wake up and move further away from Clarke.

Clarke’s heart hurt each time she pushed her away, and even more when Lexa woke up and acted like nothing had happened. But looking down at the shiny promise ring on her finger reminded Clarke that whilst things are shaky now, it won’t be forever.

_Forever._

The blonde smiled at the thought of sharing forever with Lexa, and even more so at the thought that Lexa still wanted forever with her after everything that’s happened.

“Clarke! You’re not setting them evenly,” scolded the brunette from across the table. Clarke rolled her eyes and moved the cutlery into place. The blonde didn’t understand why Lexa was stressing out so much, it was only Raven & Anya and Lincoln & Octavia accompanying them tonight. Her mom had asked Clarke if she could spend Christmas day with her and Christmas Eve with Marcus, and though it hurt slightly Clarke said it was no worries.

Setting down the final fork on the napkin, Clarke walked over to Lexa and swung her hands around her waist, holding her close. Lexa relaxed slightly into her touch, which was a relief considering their current sleeping situation, and moved away from the table.

“Clarke, there is much to do,” Lexa groaned out, turning her body around.

“Lex there is literally nothing to do,” Clarke argued. “It’s just the gang, no one special.”

Lexa narrowed her brows and gently moved away from Clarke before responding, “My first Christmas back with my brother is special to me, Clarke.”

The blonde’s stomach dropped at Lexa’s words as she realised how inconsiderate her words had come across.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think,” Clarke said with an apologetic smile.

Lexa nodded and said shortly, “Don’t worry about it. I need to go and get changed.”

Biting her lip, Clarke nodded her head and walked out into the backyard to give Lexa some space. Usually they’d get changed together and help each other decide what to wear, but that like most things in their relationship were currently under construction.

Almost fifteen minutes later Clarke was just texting Octavia when she heard a huge yell of “Clarke!” from upstairs. Rushing through the house and up the stairs, Clarke found a disgruntled Lexa and a frightened Selena in their ensuite.

It took Clarke two seconds to realise what had happened.

Lexa had one eye shut and mismatching eyeliner, and Selena was holding Clarke’s eyeliner pen.

“Lexa you know I’m good at eyeliner, why wouldn’t you just ask me?” Clarke asked, making her annoyance clear.

The brunette turned her head and shrugged as Selena widened her eyes and slammed the eyeliner pen into Clarke’s hands.

“Please never let me attempt to do that again,” the girl grumbled before rushing out of the room.

Grabbing a makeup wipe and standing in front of Lexa, Clarke gently wiped at her eyelids, trying not to remove the eyeshadow under Selena’s poor attempt of eyeliner. After getting as much as she could off, Clarke slowly re-lined Lexa’s eyelids and added a small wing at the end.

“There you go,” Clarke said clipping the lid back on the pen. “Next time, save your eye the irritation and ask me.”

“I’m sorry, Clarke,” Lexa replied, grabbing Clarke’s hands. “I know my being hot and cold is frustrating. But I just need some -.”

“Space I know. And I’m fine with that, but we’re living together Lex. It’s hard to find space from someone who you wake up next to.”

Lexa nodded solemnly before standing up and saying, “I’m almost there, Clarke. I just need some more time.”

And with that, Lexa walked out of the ensuite leaving Clarke with an empty pit in her stomach.

*

“Anya don’t poke me I’ll vomit!” Raven yelled to Anya, who had the cheekiest smile spread across her face.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have eaten that fourth piece of pie then,” Anya teased.

The dinner had gone exceptionally well, even with Lexa being slightly broody. Thankfully she was being more affectionate towards Clarke during the dinner and even now after everyone was dying of a full stomach in the lounge room.

“Shall we do presents?” Lexa suggested, sitting up from her place in Clarke’s lap.

“Isn’t that for tomorrow, Dria?” Raegon questioned.

Lexa smiled at him softly and replied, “For _our_ presents, yes. But not for the ones of our guests.”

One by one each of them pulled out a bag of presents, including Clarke who had her own heavy bag full of gifts for her presents. With so many friends to give and receive gifts this year, it took almost two hours just to get through it all. To Clarke’s surprise, her friends had also gone the extra mile to give Raegon, Selena and Gustus presents and she could tell that the three were also pleasantly surprised at the gesture.

Raegon also had a surprise gift for Anya, Lincoln and Lexa.

“I know we were supposed to give our gifts tomorrow like you said, but this is a joint one,” Raegon said as he pulled three boxes out of a bag. Handing one to each of them, Raegon motioned for them to open it.

Clarke scooted closer to Lexa to see what it was, and was instantly smiling at the beautiful present.

It was a small silver ring with the word _seingeda_ written on the inside. Clarke peered over at Anya and Lincoln who both received the same ring and Raegon also slid a ring onto his middle finger.

 “We lost one family,” Raegon began, as Clarke noticed the tears swelling up in Lexa’s eyes. “But we found another.”

Anya and Lincoln both got up to engulf Raegon in a bear hug, and Raegon looked like he was being choked until the pair finally let go.

“I wish I had gotten all of us one, but it seemed fitting that I symbolise the joining of our families,” Raegon said quickly, obviously trying not to offend anyone else in the room.

Octavia was the first to speak up, “Please, Raegon. We understand, there’s no need to explain.”

A small smile settled over Raegon’s face as Clarke watched Lexa get up and hug her brother.

“ _Mochof bro_ ,” Lexa said before muttering some other words in Polarian that Clarke could not understand.

Twenty minutes later, the gang was finally ready to leave with Lexa promising them all that her and Clarke would indeed be there for Anya’s New Year’s bash, which was news to Clarke. The last she knew security was at an all time high, especially with Indra being in Polaris.

But she wasn’t about to ask Lexa, or push the subject. Lexa had been great all night and Clarke would be damned if she shrivelled back up into her shell because of a question.

“Indra!” Raegon yelled to the screen as Indra’s face popped up onto the screen. Gustus had organised a time suitable with both Polaris and the safe house so that they could skype Indra tonight.

“Hello all,” Indra replied with a small smile, clearly glad to be seeing her family. “How was tonight?”

“Would have been better with you,” Lexa replied. “How is things in Polaris?”

Indra looked visibly pained at the question, and Lexa’s eyes immediately narrowed. Clarke moved closer to her, before asking, “What’s going on, Indra?”

“Niklaus has been arrested,” Indra dropped. “He is being held in the Palace’s personal cells, under the complete control of Nia.”

Lexa’s jaw dropped, but before she could say anything Gustus jumped in and said, “Why? On what grounds?”

“Treason is Nia’s choice of excuse. Apparently he was caught conspiring against her and now Nia is trying to pin your and Alexandria’s disappearance on him,” Indra continued.

“That’s ridiculous, surely she can’t get away with that,” Lexa said in a slightly raised voice. “Someone in Polaris must have a brain, why haven’t the people spoken up about his imprisonment?”

Indra shook her head and said, “The people are frightened of her. It is hard to reason with people who are scared, even if you are telling them help is coming. Nia hasn’t left the throne room for more than half an hour this past week.”

“She probably knows Lexa is getting close and knows that she won’t be on that throne for much longer,” Clarke added.

“Possibly,” Indra said before adding, “Niklaus’ position is unfortunate – however it is only temporary. Soon enough you’ll be back in Polaris, _Prisa_.”

“The sooner the better, Indra,” Lexa said fiercely. “I’m tired of waiting.”

*

**Lexa**

Lexa woke up on Christmas morning with an alarming amount of happiness, mainly due to the fact that last year she had her adoptive family, and this year she had that and _so much more_. Clarke was on the edge of the bed, as far away from Lexa as she could be. Usually Lexa would allow this, but today was special and this situation just simply wouldn’t do.

Moving in closer to the blonde, Lexa wrapped her arms around her and pulled her in close. Clarke reacted almost immediately, waking up with a shocked look on her face.

“Lex?” she questioned.

“Shh,” Lexa said, closing her eyes. “I’ve missed this.”

“So have I,” Clarke agreed, snuggling closer to Lexa. “When are we going to get up and do presents?”

However, just as Clarke uttered the words their door slammed open and a very excited Raegon and Selena ran into the room and jumped on their bed.

“Presents!” Raegon yelled. “Presents!”

Lexa groaned loudly and said, “Are you five, Raegon?”

“No, but it’s Christmas and that means presents!” Raegon yelled in response.

“I hate you all,” Lexa growled.

*

An hour later and all that was left was Clarke’s and Lexa’s presents to each other. Though times had been … difficult as of late, the two had agreed to keep the gifts small and inexpensive. Something meaningful rather than superficial.  

Lexa handed Clarke two gifts, and watched eagerly as the blonde opened them. The first was a framed picture of her and Clarke during happier times, and the second was two tickets to an Art show in early February.

“Lex, I love it but we said nothing expensive!” Clarke said with a smile and a small kiss on the cheek.

“I know, but the date is after Polaris and I figured by that point we could use a night out together,” Lexa explained with a cheeky smile.

“Now for mine!” Clarke said eagerly. “It’s no art tickets, but it’s something I’ve spent _days_ on, trying to get it all right.”

Lexa let out a small laugh and said, “Show me already, Niron.”

Clarke got up and grabbed the wrapped present from under the tree and gave it to Lexa as Raegon, Selena and Gustus looked on eagerly. Lexa slowly unwrapped the present, hiding it from their view as she wanted to be the first one to see what she assumed to be a painting.

It wasn’t just any old painting though.

Almost immediately tears dripped from Lexa’s eyes and she had to move away from the painting so she didn’t get it wet.

“Do you not like it? I know it’s kind of small and I know it’s kind of for you and Raegon, but I wanted you to see it first,” Clarke rambled.

“Of course I like it Niron!” Lexa said, holding the canvas up. “I’m just … so happy and overwhelmed.”

The painting resembled the Royal ones that Lexa and Raegon had done at early ages, however this one had her entire family in it. Her father in the middle, with her mother and Ida by his side, with Lexa and Raegon as they are now in the front.

Clarke had created this painting from scratch essentially. She might’ve had a few photos to go from, but she was the one who painted her father’s hand on Lexa’s shoulder. Clarke placed Ida behind her, smiling brightly and her mother behind Raegon with the same small smile her and Lexa shared.

It was a portrait Lexa never thought she’d ever get. But somehow Clarke had been able to give it to her.

“It’s so beautiful, Clarke,” Raegon remarked, hugging Clarke tightly before putting a hand on Lexa’s shoulder. “Would you be able to paint a life-size version that we can hang in the Throne Room, Clarke?”

“Of course, Raegon,” Clarke replied with a smile.

Lexa leaned in and kissed Clarke soft and sweetly, pouring every ounce of what she was feeling into the kiss. Waking up with Raegon and Clarke and Gustus had been perfect, but this present was something Lexa wouldn’t go a day without looking at.

*

After the gift opening and breakfast, Lexa decided to take Raegon on a walk just the two of them to talk about the upcoming plans.

Upon arriving at a small spot just a kilometre away from the house, Lexa sat Raegon down and said, “You’re not going to like what I have to say, but you’re going to do it anyways.”

“I don’t like the sound of this, _Dria_ ,” Raegon remarked with a wary smile.

Turning to face her brother, Lexa said sternly, “You’re not coming to Polaris with us.”

Raegon’s eyes opened and his jaw dropped, ready to argue and yell. Lexa silenced him with the rising of her hand.

“At least not until Nia is out of the way,” Lexa continued. “I made a promise to keep you safe, and I intend to do so until the end of my life. In order to do that, you need to stay here with Clarke’s mom and Marcus.”

“ _Nou Dria!_ ” Raegon protested. “I must be there when you take Nia down! When you free Uncle Nik and take back the crown! You can’t take that from me!”

Lexa shook her head softly and urged Raegon to understand, “Rae, I can’t put you in danger anymore. I need you to be safe, and…”

“And?” Raegon pushed.

Taking a deep breath in, Lexa said, “And I need someone there to take my place if something goes wrong.”

Raegon’s emerald eyes opened widely again and he yelled, “So you think you might die, and that’s why you want me to stay back?!”

“I don’t think I’m going to die, Raegon. I just want to be prepared in case the worst happens!” Lexa argued. “Please try to see where I’m coming from. I just want the future of Polaris, and my _family_ , to be secure.”

Raegon shook his head in anger, clearly frustrated by Lexa’s decision. But she could see the ticks in his brain, and Lexa knew he was thinking over what she said. Lexa knew that Raegon was smart enough to see that this is what anyone in power would do – protect the future of their country and people.

“I don’t like this, Dria. I don’t like it one bit,” Raegon said finally, slumping back into the snowy ground.

Putting a hand on his shoulder, Lexa said, “I know you don’t. But we all have to do things for the greater good sometimes.”

“Look at you, being all wise and stuff,” Raegon remarked with a cheeky smile. “Papa would be proud.”

Lexa felt a familiar smile creep up on her face at Raegon’s words. She hoped that she was making the right decisions. She hoped that she was growing into the monarch her father wanted Ida to be.

After spending twenty minutes on the hill, Lexa and Raegon decided to join the rest of the family for Christmas lunch with Abby and Marcus.

“Race ya?” Raegon challenged.

Chucking him a wide smile, Lexa bolted off ahead of him running at super speed to the house. Winning the race by metres Lexa dramatically fell onto the soft snowy grass in front of the door and waited for Raegon to catch up.

“You cheated, Dria!” Raegon yelled as he came into view.

“You suggested a race, so I raced,” Lexa said smugly, standing up and punching Raegon playfully in the shoulder.

As they stepped inside, Lexa was surprised to see Abby and Marcus already at the table with Clarke and Gustus.

“Where’s Selena?” Raegon asked.

“She’s just having a nap,” Clarke replied. “Good walk?”

Raegon rolled his eyes and said, “Oh yes. It was the best.”

Lexa narrowed her eyes at him and sat next to Clarke. Nodding her head at Abby and Marcus, she greeted them cheerfully, “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” they replied in unison.

Clarke turned to look at her and gave her a big smile before saying, “Mom brought a rather big letter for you today.”

Raising her brows, Lexa cautiously grabbed the letter Clarke handed her and read the posting address. However, instead of an address Lexa was greeted with just one word.

_-Indra_

Opening the letter carefully, Lexa peered inside and was shocked by the contents. Pulling out the letter inside, Lexa read it slowly before getting the rest of the letters contents.

_Alexandria,_

_It’s almost time._

Short and sweet and Lexa knew exactly what it meant.  

“Lexa, what did Indra give you?” Clarke asked, trying to look at the letter over Lexa’s shoulder.

“Tickets home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's not very christmas-y, but i feel like thats how lexa would like it. lowkey but also special. anyways hope you guys enjoyed, we're almost finished!
> 
> xoxo


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